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Thirty Minutes or It's Free: Difference between revisions
moved "card games" to "tabletop games", moved "comedy" to "recorded and stand up comedy"
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{{trope}}
[[File:SAC Pizza Delivery Service.jpg|thumb|350 px]]
{{quote|''"Wise men say forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for a late pizza."''
|'''Michelangelo''', ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (film)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]: [[The Movie]]''}}
A pizza is ordered. If it fails to arrive within a certain time frame, it's free! <ref>This practice was at one point used in [[Real Life]], but was mostly ended because so many delivery drivers got speeding tickets or caused accidents.</ref>
Can be done from the perspective of the irate customer or the put-upon delivery guy—who may well have his job dependent on getting there in time. Comedic versions may have someone order pizza from some outrageous location in the middle of nowhere, such as the middle of the jungle, Antarctica, or the moon. Most of the time, the pizza still gets there on time (or two minutes late).
{{examples}}
== Advertising ==
* A pizza place commercial, aired on a Toronto radio station in the 1980s, satirized this with a reporter giving a play-by-play of a fictitious restaurant's thirty-second delivery, with predictably disastrous results. ("Oh no, there's tomato sauce all over the road! Someone get a serviette!") The commercial's concluding slogan: "No gimmicks. Just great pizza."
* An ad for Western Union shown in Australia had a student order a pizza and then realize he didn't have the cash to pay for it. He phones his father overseas for his allowance, who wires it to him. A split screen shows the pizza being prepared and delivered while the student goes to collect his cash. He gets back to his apartment just before the pizza delivery guy gets there, just before the thirty-minute deadline. After the original version became well-known, it was changed so that at the end the pizza is ruined in the box because of all the weaving through traffic the delivery guy did. The student was not happy with his pizza.
▲== Anime & Manga ==
* The second segment of the [[Ecchi]] anime ''Tales of Titillation'' by U-Jin makes use of this trope for outright parody. A trio of sisters persecute the deliverymen of "Pizza Tokyo" with acts of ''blatant exhibitionism'' to delay them past the thirty minutes mark. The funniest part is when the clueless (and virgin) rookie is sent to do the delivery, and all his co-workers act as if they were in a war movie and watching him go into a suicide mission, with "Taps" playing in the background as he drives off.
== Card Games ==▼
* In ''[[Ninja Burger]]'', the rule is "Delivery in thirty minutes or we commit [[Seppuku]]." Based on Greenwich Mean Time for locations in geosynchronous orbit. And there's one city they don't deliver to ({{spoiler|Detroit. Anything but Detroit.}}). Aside from that—yes, the extreme case. Lost hikers, hostages, recluses or dictators who don't want to have to turn off their security, submarine crews... thirty minutes, pretty much guaranteed.▼
** They even mention that [[Stock Unsolved Mysteries|Jimmy Hoffa]] is one of their best customers. And yes, they do deliver to the Bermuda Triangle.▼
* One stand-up comic had a routine about a city he visited which straddled a time zone. Right across the street was a pizza joint.▼
{{quote|"The second you order it, it's already late!"}}▼
* [[Bill Hicks]]' recipe for a perfect world? Let everyone stay home, get stoned, and order pizza.▼
{{quote|Domino's Pizza trucks passing each other on the highway. Let ''them'' get stuck in traffic - ''all'' our pizza will be free!}}▼
== Comic Books ==
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** [[Donald Duck]]'s neighbor Jones, with whom he's in something of an [[Escalating War]], also tried to sabotage a delivery—not because he really wanted the pizza, but because Donald had just been hired as the delivery boy. This was an extreme case, since the pizza chain would offer ''as many pizzas of that type as you wanted, any time you wanted, free for an entire year'', and Jones had just ordered the most expensive pizza on the menu. Donald did not in fact make it in time, but the joke was ultimately on Jones—he hadn't checked what ingredients went into that type of pizza, and the special pizza sauce turned out to be a substance he'd previously been revealed to hate.
* In a ''[[Ren and Stimpy]]'' comic, the two have only thirty ''seconds'' to deliver a pizza with absurdly many toppings.
== Films -- Live-Action ==
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* The ''[[Thunderbirds]]'' movie: John, who mans space station Thunderbird 5, asks if he can have a pizza sent up to him, and adds "thirty minutes or it's free, right?"
* ''Dirty Work'': In the beginning, [[Norm MacDonald|Norm MacDonald's]] character was fired from pizza delivery after failing to deliver a pizza within thirty minutes because a car accident blocked his route. The [[Jerkass]] customer informed him for being two minutes late. This makes it the fourteenth time the character was fired in the past three months.
== Jokes ==
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* In ''[[Stargate SG-1]]'' season 8 episode "Gemini", General O'Neill mentions that Thor will deliver in thirty minutes or it's free—except it's not a pizza here, but an Asgard satellite of Replicator disruption.
== Recorded and Stand Up Comedy ==
▲* One stand-up comic had a routine about a city he visited which straddled a time zone. Right across the street was a pizza joint.
▲{{quote|"The second you order it, it's already late!"}}
▲* [[Bill Hicks]]' recipe for a perfect world? Let everyone stay home, get stoned, and order pizza.
▲{{quote|Domino's Pizza trucks passing each other on the highway. Let ''them'' get stuck in traffic - ''all'' our pizza will be free!}}
▲* In ''[[Ninja Burger]]'', the rule is "Delivery in thirty minutes or we commit [[Seppuku]]." Based on Greenwich Mean Time for locations in geosynchronous orbit. And there's one city they don't deliver to ({{spoiler|Detroit. Anything but Detroit.}}). Aside from that—yes, the extreme case. Lost hikers, hostages, recluses or dictators who don't want to have to turn off their security, submarine crews... thirty minutes, pretty much guaranteed.
▲** They even mention that [[Stock Unsolved Mysteries|Jimmy Hoffa]] is one of their best customers. And yes, they do deliver to the Bermuda Triangle.
== Video Games ==
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* One of the Reaper's [[Stop Poking Me]] quotes in ''[[StarCraft II]]''.
{{quote|'''Reaper:''' I'm bringin' the pain, and the pizza, in thirty minutes or it's free!}}
* The
== Web Comics ==
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* Butch of ''[[Chopping Block]]'' has tested whether the pizza is free [[Serial Killer|if the pizza guy is never heard from again.]]
** In a later strip, he's revealed to have a "dead in thirty minutes or you go free" guarantee.
== Western Animation ==
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* ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1987]]'': One episode featured villains breaking in the mansion of a pizza chain's tycoon. Raphael describes the motto as being that, if the pizza doesn't come on time, it comes cold.
* ''[[The New Woody Woodpecker Show]]'' has an episode where Woody tried to delay Dooley so his pizza would be free. His efforts not only failed, but also ruined the pizza. When Woody tried to protest, Dooley said he guaranteed delivery, not satisfaction. Because Woody didn't have the money to pay for the pizza, Dooley had him work off the debt as a delivery boy.
== Real Life ==
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