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Once upon a time, in [[Kingdom Hearts|The World That Never Was]], at [[Brick Joke|an indeterminate time of day]], Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus encountered a monster that was destroying the Organization by taking their... [[Unusual Euphemism|you know]]. Immune thanks to them being "ugly" (a [[Big Bad|teenage fanbrat]] is in control and clearly doesn't realize that <s>these three</s> Lexaeus is [[Author Appeal|MANLY]]), these three nobodies embark on a world-hopping journey to save their comrades, battling the gutless and [[Shout-Out|countless pop culture references,]] in an attempt to restore logic, sanity and good humor to the fanfiction universe, all while protecting their groins [[Groin Attack|from assault]] by the Semes. Who are kind of like [[The Heartless]], but instead of hearts, are disembodied, um... you know.
Yes, really.
''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2903858/1/Those_Lacking_Spines Those Lacking Spines]'' is a ''[[Kingdom Hearts]]'' fanfiction written by Gexegee of [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1020616/Organization_VI Organization VI]. As a [[Meta Fic]], it parodies just about every aspect of [[So Bad It's Horrible/
{{tropelist}}
* [[A Date
▲* [[A Date With Rosie Palms]] - To a video of a ''bee'' pollinating a ''flower''. It's Marly-dono, people.
▲* [[Added Alliterative Appeal]] - The [[V for Vendetta]] reference, anyone?
* [[Animate Inanimate Object]] - Xaldin's sideburns.
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]] - The heroes have landed on the City of OC, subverted the [[Mary Sue]]'s intimidation power, easily destroyed Marly-dono's prospective army, and are about to storm his lair. "Agh! And they're throwing their unconscious bodies into my beautiful rosebushes! THOSE WERE RAISED BY HAND, YOU BASTARDS!"
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* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]] - Too many times to count.
* [[Brown Note]] - [[Squick|"I can't see. I cannot see. My retinas have committed suicide."]]
* [[Camp Gay]] - Marly-dono, and almost all of the Ukes.
* [[Catch Phrase]]: Oh hell.
* [[Chekhov's Gag]] - The time of day in The World That Never Was.
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* [[Cliff Hanger]]
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]] - Demy-kins, who fittingly rules over the [[Crack Fic]] half of Vacillating Heights.
* [[Cool and Unusual Punishment]] - Vexen is tortured by {{spoiler|1=listening to the [[
** It may also qualify as a [[Mind Rape]] for Vexen.
* [[Curse Cut Short]] - “Oh shi-”
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*** To explain: Roxas and Xaldin were rescued by {{spoiler|the [[Elite Beat Agents]]}}.
* [[Dramatic Wind]] - Lampshaded in the text, describing it as improbably slow-falling and dramatic.
* [[Oddly-Named Sequel 2: Electric Boogaloo]] - 'You now have a vague inkling of Jeffiroth’s second form. Jeffiroth Squared. Jeffiroth Redux. Jeffiroth Two: Electric Boogaloo.'
* [[Emo Teen]] - Zexy-poo.
* [[Fauxlosophic Narration]]
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* [[I Need a Freaking Drink]] - “Vodka. Top-shelf. Straight. On the rocks.”
* [[Interactive Narrator|Interactive]]/LemonyNarrator
* [[It Was a Dark
* [[Never Say "Die"]] - Xaldin actually states himself that "the Organization never says die!"
** Which makes it even more hilarious when Larxene appears and (literally) ''does'' say "die" just seconds later.
* [[Oh Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us]] - Let's say it's the motif.
* [[Ominous Floating Castle]]
* [[Ominous Latin Chanting]] - Jeffiroth's 100-piece orchestra includes this in its music, followed by an echoed “'''''JEFFIROTH'''''!”
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* [[Original Character]]
* [[Otaku]] - As a type of Gutless.
** [[Fan Dumb|And they rip each other apart while arguing over]] [[Spell My Name
* [[Overly-Long Fighting Animation]] - As part of Jeffiroth's second form transformation.
* [[Overly Long Name]] - '''''x-x-''M'''''arley-'''''dono''''' '''C'''r'''I'''m'''S'''o'''N'''f'''L'''o'''W'''e'''R''-x-x'''''. (sic)
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* [[Precision F-Strike]] - Vexen executes one in chapter 12.
* [[Prepare to Die]] - Against Xuxastell:
{{quote|
* [[Reference Overdosed]] - It is impossible to list all of them.
* [[Riddle Me This]]
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** The little known facts about Demyx the pizza boy.
* [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness]]
{{quote|
“You mean a gummi ship,” Lexaeus nudged him in the elbow. }}
* [[Seven Minute Lull]] - In Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School, Riku accidentally flubs and reveals his bet with Sora after a song finishes in a party. [[Melodrama]] ensues.
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* [[Shout-Out]]: To [[Finding Nemo]], of all things: Sora's ridiculous last name in Chapter 2 is "Wanahakaruugi".
* [[Shut UP, Hannibal]] - Several times.
{{quote|
“Really?” Lexaeus asked lamely, and with the slightest movement of his hand, Sakura-Rose was crushed to death beneath two tons of [[Irony]] and a gigantic summoned slab of rock. }}
** Also twice with Jeffiroth: the first time with a 'get on with it' and the second by snapping his Badass Locks off.
* [[Significant Anagram]] - Xuxastell, which, as Xaldin quickly figures out, unscrambles to "[[Draco in Leather Pants|Axel]] [[Relationship Sue|Slut]]," or "Axel Lust," if you insist.
* [[Solve the Soup Cans]]
{{quote|
* [[Spell My Name
* [[Sssssnaketalk]] - Sssssecks.
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]] - The Riku from Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School totally isn't gay or anything.
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* [[The Joy of X]] - Final Bossing For Fun and Profit
** Also, "Toadying For the Final Boss For Fun and Profit"
* [[The Long List]] - <ref>After what seemed like hours upon hours of encountering [[Care Bears]], more whiny and hapless teenagers than Destiny Whatever High School could ever hope to house, [[Pokémon|obnoxious children wielding electric rats]] and [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|card games]] and [[Beyblade|fighting tops]] and [[Digimon|digital electric rats]] and [[Danny Phantom|phantasmal powers]] and [[Captain Planet and
* [[The Man Behind the Man]] - {{spoiler|Rather, the fangirl behind the seme.}}
* [[The Very Definitely Final Dungeon]] <ref>"Let's go through the checklist," Xaldin suggested, one eyebrow raised high over the other as he examined their surroundings quizzically. "Dark skies?" "Check," Lexaeus nodded. "Foreboding, overly complicated architecture and/or some kind of ruins?" "Indeed," Vexen confirmed. "Epic-sounding technopop and/or metal music in the background?" "Yep." "Cryptic clues and references to the end of things, and/or excessively pretentious area names?" "We have stepped into the Haven of Wasted Epiphanies," Vexen announced, reading from a convenient nearby sign. "Up ahead is the Village of Twisted Thoughts and the Subdivision of Broken Endings. Triple check." "Yes. I thought so," Xaldin sighed. "This is a Final World if ever I saw one."</ref>
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* [[Title Drop]] - {{spoiler|“Nine Organization members, ''whole and lacking spines'', shouted in unison.”}}
** Also (kinda) in chapter 10:
{{quote|
* [[To Make a Long Story Short]] - Twelve chapters too late.
* [[
* [[Traveling At the Speed of Plot]]
* [[Troll Fic]] - Originally intended to be one, but completely subverted after.
* [[Unusual Euphemism]] - "...you know" isn't very unusual, but its absolute pervasiveness throughout the fic makes it stand out.
* [[Viewer-Friendly Interface]]
* [[Wangst]] - Zexy-poo's trademark.
* [[Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?]] - Vexen is terrified of cake after being tortured with the ''[[
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Those Lacking Spines]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Kingdom Hearts/Fan Works]]
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