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Once upon a time, in [[Kingdom Hearts|The World That Never Was]], at [[Brick Joke|an indeterminate time of day]], Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus encountered a monster that was destroying the Organization by taking their... [[Unusual Euphemism|you know]]. Immune thanks to them being "ugly" (a [[Big Bad|teenage fanbrat]] is in control and clearly doesn't realize that <s>these three</s> Lexaeus is [[Author Appeal|MANLY]]), these three nobodies embark on a world-hopping journey to save their comrades, battling the gutless and [[Shout
Yes, really.
''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2903858/1/Those_Lacking_Spines Those Lacking Spines]'' is a ''[[Kingdom Hearts]]'' fanfiction written by Gexegee of [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1020616/Organization_VI Organization VI]. As a [[Meta Fic]], it parodies just about every aspect of [[So Bad It's Horrible/
{{tropelist}}
* [[A Date
▲* [[A Date With Rosie Palms]] - To a video of a ''bee'' pollinating a ''flower''. It's Marly-dono, people.
▲* [[Added Alliterative Appeal]] - The [[V for Vendetta]] reference, anyone?
* [[Animate Inanimate Object]] - Xaldin's sideburns.
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]] - The heroes have landed on the City of OC, subverted the [[Mary Sue]]'s intimidation power, easily destroyed Marly-dono's prospective army, and are about to storm his lair. "Agh! And they're throwing their unconscious bodies into my beautiful rosebushes! THOSE WERE RAISED BY HAND, YOU BASTARDS!"
** "Organization XIII was not a nice group of sort-of-kind-of-former people. They toyed with minds, they twisted relationships, they used lives as tools, they manipulated innocents, they spread chaos, they captured hearts, they lengthened the lines at the DMV and they commanded Heartless."
* [[Attack Pattern Alpha]] - “Let’s attempt Maneuver 35, shall we?”
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* [[Bold Inflation]] - Doubled, with Jeffiroth ('''[[Running Gag|JEFFIROTH]]'''). "He was so [[Badass]] his [[Genre Savvy|font was bolded]]."
* [[Bowdlerise]] - Parodied with the Gutless' name. Vexen "was going to call them the Nutless, but Disney put their foot down. Some nonsense about not scaring the children and lawsuits, something about [[The Little Mermaid|a VHS]] [[Freud Was Right|cover]] or something."
* [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]] - "The Saïx we recruited is stoic, collected, and mildly psychopathic with a sadistic twist."
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]] - Too many times to count.
* [[Brown Note]] - [[Squick|"I can't see. I cannot see. My retinas have committed suicide."]]
* [[Camp Gay]] - Marly-dono, and almost all of the Ukes.
* [[Catch Phrase]]: Oh hell.
* [[Chekhov's Gag]] - The time of day in The World That Never Was.
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* [[Cliff Hanger]]
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]] - Demy-kins, who fittingly rules over the [[Crack Fic]] half of Vacillating Heights.
* [[Cool and Unusual Punishment]] - Vexen is tortured by {{spoiler|1=listening to the [[
** It may also qualify as a [[Mind Rape]] for Vexen.
* [[Curse Cut Short]] - “Oh shi-”
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*** To explain: Roxas and Xaldin were rescued by {{spoiler|the [[Elite Beat Agents]]}}.
* [[Dramatic Wind]] - Lampshaded in the text, describing it as improbably slow-falling and dramatic.
* [[Oddly-Named Sequel 2: Electric Boogaloo]] - 'You now have a vague inkling of Jeffiroth’s second form. Jeffiroth Squared. Jeffiroth Redux. Jeffiroth Two: Electric Boogaloo.'
* [[Emo Teen]] - Zexy-poo.
* [[Fauxlosophic Narration]]
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* [[I Need a Freaking Drink]] - “Vodka. Top-shelf. Straight. On the rocks.”
* [[Interactive Narrator|Interactive]]/LemonyNarrator
* [[It Was a Dark
* [[Never Say "Die"]] - Xaldin actually states himself that "the Organization never says die!"
** Which makes it even more hilarious when Larxene appears and (literally) ''does'' say "die" just seconds later.
* [[Oh Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us]] - Let's say it's the motif.
* [[Ominous Floating Castle]]
* [[Ominous Latin Chanting]] - Jeffiroth's 100-piece orchestra includes this in its music, followed by an echoed “'''''JEFFIROTH'''''!”
* [[One
** Interestingly, the original [[One
* [[Original Character]]
* [[Otaku]] - As a type of Gutless.
** [[Fan Dumb|And they rip each other apart while arguing over]] [[Spell My Name
* [[Overly
* [[Overly Long Name]] - '''''x-x-''M'''''arley-'''''dono''''' '''C'''r'''I'''m'''S'''o'''N'''f'''L'''o'''W'''e'''R''-x-x'''''. (sic)
* [[Parody Sue]] - [[Overly Long Name|Sakura-Rose Sunblossom Orange Juice Annie-Marie McFate ]]
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* [[Playing the Heart Strings]] - Coupled with [[Sorry I Left the BGM On]].
* [[Power Makes Your Hair Grow]]: Inverted with Jeffiroth - Hair Makes Your Power Grow. And when one attacks said hair...
* [[Precision F
* [[Prepare to Die]] - Against Xuxastell:
{{quote|
* [[Reference Overdosed]] - It is impossible to list all of them.
* [[Riddle Me This]]
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** The little known facts about Demyx the pizza boy.
* [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness]]
{{quote|
“You mean a gummi ship,” Lexaeus nudged him in the elbow. }}
* [[Seven Minute Lull]] - In Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School, Riku accidentally flubs and reveals his bet with Sora after a song finishes in a party. [[Melodrama]] ensues.
* [[Shaggy Dog Story]]
* [[Shout
* [[Shut UP, Hannibal]] - Several times.
{{quote|
“Really?” Lexaeus asked lamely, and with the slightest movement of his hand, Sakura-Rose was crushed to death beneath two tons of [[Irony]] and a gigantic summoned slab of rock. }}
** Also twice with Jeffiroth: the first time with a 'get on with it' and the second by snapping his Badass Locks off.
* [[Significant Anagram]] - Xuxastell, which, as Xaldin quickly figures out, unscrambles to "[[Draco in Leather Pants|Axel]] [[Relationship Sue|Slut]]," or "Axel Lust," if you insist.
* [[Solve the Soup Cans]]
{{quote|
* [[Spell My Name
* [[Sssssnaketalk]] - Sssssecks.
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]] - The Riku from Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School totally isn't gay or anything.
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* [[The Joy of X]] - Final Bossing For Fun and Profit
** Also, "Toadying For the Final Boss For Fun and Profit"
* [[The Long List]] - <ref>After what seemed like hours upon hours of encountering [[Care Bears]], more whiny and hapless teenagers than Destiny Whatever High School could ever hope to house, [[Pokémon|obnoxious children wielding electric rats]] and [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|card games]] and [[Beyblade|fighting tops]] and [[Digimon|digital electric rats]] and [[Danny Phantom|phantasmal powers]] and [[Captain Planet and
* [[The Man Behind the Man]] - {{spoiler|Rather, the fangirl behind the seme.}}
* [[The Very Definitely Final Dungeon]] <ref>"Let's go through the checklist," Xaldin suggested, one eyebrow raised high over the other as he examined their surroundings quizzically. "Dark skies?" "Check," Lexaeus nodded. "Foreboding, overly complicated architecture and/or some kind of ruins?" "Indeed," Vexen confirmed. "Epic-sounding technopop and/or metal music in the background?" "Yep." "Cryptic clues and references to the end of things, and/or excessively pretentious area names?" "We have stepped into the Haven of Wasted Epiphanies," Vexen announced, reading from a convenient nearby sign. "Up ahead is the Village of Twisted Thoughts and the Subdivision of Broken Endings. Triple check." "Yes. I thought so," Xaldin sighed. "This is a Final World if ever I saw one."</ref>
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* [[Title Drop]] - {{spoiler|“Nine Organization members, ''whole and lacking spines'', shouted in unison.”}}
** Also (kinda) in chapter 10:
{{quote|
* [[To Make a Long Story Short]] - Twelve chapters too late.
* [[
* [[Traveling At the Speed of Plot]]
* [[Troll Fic]] - Originally intended to be one, but completely subverted after.
* [[Unusual Euphemism]] - "...you know" isn't very unusual, but its absolute pervasiveness throughout the fic makes it stand out.
* [[Viewer
* [[Wangst]] - Zexy-poo's trademark.
* [[Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?]] - Vexen is terrified of cake after being tortured with the ''[[
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Those Lacking Spines]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Kingdom Hearts/Fan Works]]
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