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Line 1: {{work}} [[File:Poor__Poor_Vexen_by_Oriana132_8328.jpg\|frame\|~~<small>~~[[Room 101\|Let's just say it's]] [[LazyTown\|not been Vexen's day.]]~~</small>~~ ]] Once upon a time, in [[Kingdom Hearts\|The World That Never Was]], at [[Brick Joke\|an indeterminate time of day]], Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus encountered a monster that was destroying the Organization by taking their... [[Unusual Euphemism\|you know]]. Immune thanks to them being "ugly" (a [[Big Bad\|teenage fanbrat]] is in control and clearly doesn't realize that <s>these three</s> Lexaeus is [[Author Appeal\|MANLY]]), these three nobodies embark on a world-hopping journey to save their comrades, battling the gutless and [[Shout-Out\|countless pop culture references,]] in an attempt to restore logic, sanity and good humor to the fanfiction universe, all while protecting their groins [[Groin Attack\|from assault]] by the Semes. Who are kind of like [[The Heartless]], but instead of hearts, are disembodied, um... you know. Yes, really. ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2903858/1/Those_Lacking_Spines Those Lacking Spines]'' is a ''[[Kingdom Hearts]]'' fanfiction written by Gexegee of [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1020616/Organization_VI Organization VI]. As a [[Meta Fic]], it parodies just about every aspect of [[So Bad It's Horrible/~~Fanfic~~Fan Works\|bad fanfiction]]. Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus race through [[Alternate Universe\|alternate universes]], and encounter a wide variety of [[Fanfic Tropes]], including [[Slash Fic\|Slash Fics]], [[High School AU\|High School AUs]], [[Self-Insert Fic\|Self Insert Fics]], [[Song Fic\|Song Fics]], [[Crossover\|Cross Overs]], [[Crack Fic\|Crack Fics]], [[Wangst]], and [[Canon Defilement]], while keeping the plot of [[The Virus\|Gutless]] changing the remaining members of Organization XIII into [[Seme\|shadows]] [[Does This Remind You of Anything?\|of]] [[Uke\|themselves]]. Along the way, it viciously lampoons several other franchises, lovingly mocking everything under the sun in a brilliant, hilarious (and sometimes long-winded) romp through fanfiction itself. ~~----~~ ~~=== ''[[Those Lacking Spines]]'' contains examples of: ===~~ {{tropelist}} * [[A Date with Rosie Palms]] - To a video of a ''bee'' pollinating a ''flower''. It's Marly-dono, people. * [[~~Added Alliterative Appeal~~Alliteration]] - The [[V for Vendetta]] reference, anyone? * [[Animate Inanimate Object]] - Xaldin's sideburns. * [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]] - The heroes have landed on the City of OC, subverted the [[Mary Sue]]'s intimidation power, easily destroyed Marly-dono's prospective army, and are about to storm his lair. "Agh! And they're throwing their unconscious bodies into my beautiful rosebushes! THOSE WERE RAISED BY HAND, YOU BASTARDS!" Line 30 ⟶ 28: * [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]] - Too many times to count. * [[Brown Note]] - [[Squick\|"I can't see. I cannot see. My retinas have committed suicide."]] * [[Camp Gay]] - Marly-dono, and almost all of the Ukes. * [[Catch Phrase]]: Oh hell. * [[Chekhov's Gag]] - The time of day in The World That Never Was. Line 62 ⟶ 60: * [[Never Say "Die"]] - Xaldin actually states himself that "the Organization never says die!" ** Which makes it even more hilarious when Larxene appears and (literally) ''does'' say "die" just seconds later. * [[Oh Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us]] - Let's say it's the motif. * [[Ominous Floating Castle]] * [[Ominous Latin Chanting]] - Jeffiroth's 100-piece orchestra includes this in its music, followed by an echoed “'''''JEFFIROTH'''''!” Line 78 ⟶ 76: * [[Precision F-Strike]] - Vexen executes one in chapter 12. * [[Prepare to Die]] - Against Xuxastell: {{quote\| “Nevertheless,” Lexaeus still had his fierce gaze locked on the imposter Nobody as he pulled his tomahawk up out of the ground. “Larxene is our comrade-in-arms and we will not stand for what you have done to her. In the name of the real Organization XIII—prepare to die.”}} * [[Reference Overdosed]] - It is impossible to list all of them. * [[Riddle Me This]] Line 87 ⟶ 85: ** The little known facts about Demyx the pizza boy. * [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness]] {{quote\| “Don’t be so worried, gentlemen. We can utilize a Gelatinous Confectionary Transportation Vehicle.”~~<br />~~ “You mean a gummi ship,” Lexaeus nudged him in the elbow. }} * [[Seven Minute Lull]] - In Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School, Riku accidentally flubs and reveals his bet with Sora after a song finishes in a party. [[Melodrama]] ensues. Line 93 ⟶ 91: * [[Shout-Out]]: To [[Finding Nemo]], of all things: Sora's ridiculous last name in Chapter 2 is "Wanahakaruugi". * [[Shut UP, Hannibal]] - Several times. {{quote\| [Sakura-Rose:]“You’ll never defeat me, you hideous beast, because I represent all that is pure and good and light in the world, and YOU are an evil creature with no heart and I have a heart and it holds nothing but love for ALL LIVING THINGS! And you’ll never be able to scare me, either! My will is as strong as stone!”~~<br />~~ “Really?” Lexaeus asked lamely, and with the slightest movement of his hand, Sakura-Rose was crushed to death beneath two tons of [[Irony]] and a gigantic summoned slab of rock. }} ** Also twice with Jeffiroth: the first time with a 'get on with it' and the second by snapping his Badass Locks off. * [[Significant Anagram]] - Xuxastell, which, as Xaldin quickly figures out, unscrambles to "[[Draco in Leather Pants\|Axel]] [[Relationship Sue\|Slut]]," or "Axel Lust," if you insist. * [[Solve the Soup Cans]] {{quote\| [[Lampshade Hanging\|“Of course, this object is not going to be anywhere nearby. Oh no. It’s going to be locked up on the complete other end of the tower, behind six other locked doors, also sealed by ridiculously complicated keys and puzzles. Maybe even pieces of keys and puzzles, which we will have to run off and fetch in the most ludicrous of places before we can even think about getting out of here.”]]}} * [[Spell My Name with an "S"]] - Invoked to get a horde of [[Otaku]] Gutless to tear each other apart over whether to use Aeris or Aerith (or Vincent/[[Gratuitous Japanese\|Binsento]]). * [[Sssssnaketalk]] - Sssssecks. Line 111 ⟶ 109: * [[Title Drop]] - {{spoiler\|“Nine Organization members, ''whole and lacking spines'', shouted in unison.”}} ** Also (kinda) in chapter 10: {{quote\| It was unfortunate for the Grand Master Fangirl that this sickly little idea was not any ordinary idea—it was a being that ''lacked'' a brain, a heart, a ''spine'' and most importantly, it lacked… you know.}} * [[To Make a Long Story Short]] - Twelve chapters too late. * [[~~Tradesnark~~Tradesnark™]] - [[Purple Prose\|Overly Detailed Purple Description Mode]]™ * [[Traveling At the Speed of Plot]] * [[Troll Fic]] - Originally intended to be one, but completely subverted after. * [[Unusual Euphemism]] - "...you know" isn't very unusual, but its absolute pervasiveness throughout the fic makes it stand out. * [[Viewer-Friendly Interface]] * [[Wangst]] - Zexy-poo's trademark. * [[Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?]] - Vexen is terrified of cake after being tortured with the ''[[LazyTown]]'' cake song. Line 124 ⟶ 122: [[Category:Those Lacking Spines]] [[Category:Fanfic]] [[Category:Kingdom Hearts/Fan Works]]