Vampires Are Sex Gods: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

 

{{quote|''...And the computer is like "Do I have to spell it out for you? A V.A.M.P.I.R.E.!"

** Alternatively, his cousin Claude. You know, the one that hits on all the girls, single or not.

* Many of the Magpyr clan in ''[[Discworld/Carpe Jugulum|Carpe Jugulum]]''.

** This is [[Theory of Narrative Causality|pretty much a rule on the Disc]]. In ''[[Discworld/Thud|Thud]]'', it is commented that female vampires look stunning in just about anything, and that, unlike males, they can't reform their clothing when changing back to their human form, 'probably due to all that underwired nightdress business.'

** Subverted for laughs in ''[[Discworld/Reaper Man|Reaper Man]]'' with a pair of overweight, middle-aged, Morporkian vampires who'd certainly ''like'' to be sexy and elegant.

* ''[[The Dresden Files]]'' has a near literal example with the [[Our Vampires Are Different|White Court]] [[Horny Devils|House of Raith]], [[Emotion Eater|who feed off of lust.]]

** Hell, poor Thomas can't even hold a job slinging burgers, because the women on staff keep trying to molest him in the break room!

* The male vampires in novels by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro are dead below the belt, and compensate by being cunning linguists.

* ''[[Bloodsucking Fiends]]'' by [[Christopher Moore]]. Tommy's response to discovering that his new girlfriend is a bloodsucker? "That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. Let's do it with our socks off."

** Seen in the opening two-parter -- [[Alpha Bitch]] Cordelia won't give Jessie the time of day until he becomes a vampire, whereupon he suddenly becomes more assertive, darker, and sexier.

* Bill Compton from ''[[True Blood]]''.

** The number of hot vampires continues to grow with the appearances of [[Cute Monster Girl|Jessica]], [[Friendly Neighborhood Vampire|Godrick]], [[Yandere|Lorena]], [[Stalker with a Crush|Franklin]], and [[Camp Gay|Talbot]].

** This is actually Lampshaded and Justified [[In-Universe]]. Vampire blood is prized for its healing powers and is often used as a recreational drug...with the side effect that it gives you vivid and intense sex dreams about the vampire it came from.

** [[Fridge Logic|Is that...]][[Groin Attack|supposed to be a good thing...?]]

*** [[Fetish Fuel|Yes.]]

** It would be more accurate to say that the Blood Dragons go either way, as while the Von Carsteins don't quite have the same reputation as the Lahmians, they are still intensely charismatic aristocrats and more or less unanimously attractive. While the Blood Dragons still consist of a high proportion of aristocrats, and some of them act like they're in a courtly romance novel, the majority live in the woods or other out of the way places, training constantly and murdering anyone that they think might give a good fight, which is hardly conducive to attracting women.

** They are typically described in the novels as much more attractive than their miniatures, all of whom have their [[Game Face]] on.

{{quote|'''Torg:''' ''Wow!'' When you become a vampire, men become broad shouldered and muscle-bound and women become tall and thin! You ever think of selling this on QVC?

'''Lysinda:''' Foolish mortal ... Do you really think humanity would give up its immortal soul forever just to look good?

'''Lysinda:''' Sylvia ...

'''Sylvia:''' "Infomercials next quarter," ''check''. }}

[[Category:Vampire Tropes]]

[[Category:Sex Tropes]]

[[Category:No Real Life Examples, Please]]