Wall Banger/Comic Books/One More Day: Difference between revisions
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Given [[Joe Quesada]] wrote both [[One More Day]] and [[One Moment in Time]] (which, after a year-and-a-something, explained the stupid retcon in a fittingly stupid way), this is the shared [[Wall Banger (Darth Wiki)|Wall Banger]] page where we talk about the stupidity of both storylines. |
Given [[Joe Quesada]] wrote both [[One More Day]] and [[One Moment in Time]] (which, after a year-and-a-something, explained the stupid retcon in a fittingly stupid way), this is the shared [[Wall Banger (Darth Wiki)|Wall Banger]] page where we talk about the stupidity of both storylines. |
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If you're [[Literal |
If you're [[Literal-Minded]] towards a Wall Banger, then you'd better wear a crash helmet: as Peter Parker himself said, [[Understatement|"This isn't a pretty story"]]. |
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** In one part of this event, Spider-Man enlists Dr. Strange's help to save Aunt May. Strange (Note:Doctor Strange is his real name, not an adopted title. He's a surgeon as well as Sorcerer Supreme.) casts a spell that allows Spidey to be in multiple places at once to find someone capable of treating her. Apparently, no one in Marvel Earth is qualified to treat a gunshot wound. Not even Elixir of the New X-Men. Elixir, who regenerated Prodigy's heart after it was quite literally ripped out of his chest by the demon Belasco, could not treat a ''gunshot wound''. |
** In one part of this event, Spider-Man enlists Dr. Strange's help to save Aunt May. Strange (Note:Doctor Strange is his real name, not an adopted title. He's a surgeon as well as Sorcerer Supreme.) casts a spell that allows Spidey to be in multiple places at once to find someone capable of treating her. Apparently, no one in Marvel Earth is qualified to treat a gunshot wound. Not even Elixir of the New X-Men. Elixir, who regenerated Prodigy's heart after it was quite literally ripped out of his chest by the demon Belasco, could not treat a ''gunshot wound''. |
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*** The rest of the story is par the course for comic books. MJ and Peter breaking up might be tolerated, but ''this'' was too much. Dr. Strange literally [[Pals with Jesus|has God on speed dial]]...several gods, in fact. Reed Richards ''[[Reed Richards Is Useless|builds time machines]]''! Elixir's power is best summed up as "[[The Medic|Heals shit]]." They somehow can't deal with a common everyday gunshot wound. Not a headshot, not a special bullet, not [[Depleted Phlebotinum Shells|some magical Uru round or Wakandan anti-metal shell]] or something. Just a bullet from a gun...that somehow stymies a superhuman genius, a [[Physical God|literal God on Earth]], and a man who can rewrite a person's DNA with a backwards glance. That wrecks the story as much as the deal with the Devil because it ''just doesn't work'' on a basic, narrative level. |
*** The rest of the story is par the course for comic books. MJ and Peter breaking up might be tolerated, but ''this'' was too much. Dr. Strange literally [[Pals with Jesus|has God on speed dial]]...several gods, in fact. Reed Richards ''[[Reed Richards Is Useless|builds time machines]]''! Elixir's power is best summed up as "[[The Medic|Heals shit]]." They somehow can't deal with a common everyday gunshot wound. Not a headshot, not a special bullet, not [[Depleted Phlebotinum Shells|some magical Uru round or Wakandan anti-metal shell]] or something. Just a bullet from a gun...that somehow stymies a superhuman genius, a [[Physical God|literal God on Earth]], and a man who can rewrite a person's DNA with a backwards glance. That wrecks the story as much as the deal with the Devil because it ''just doesn't work'' on a basic, narrative level. |
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**** Worst of all in this is that it would have been pathetically easy to justify Aunt May's death gracefully. She's a frail old woman, the injuries are severe, and the additional strain to her system that healing her would entail would kill her anyway. Why hasn't this been a problem in any other case? Because none of the other cases involved a frail old person being healed of otherwise fatal injuries. Aunt May happens to be an outlier. |
**** Worst of all in this is that it would have been pathetically easy to justify Aunt May's death gracefully. She's a frail old woman, the injuries are severe, and the additional strain to her system that healing her would entail would kill her anyway. Why hasn't this been a problem in any other case? Because none of the other cases involved a frail old person being healed of otherwise fatal injuries. Aunt May happens to be an outlier. |
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***** Combine the above with the actual statement about Aunt May being at peace with dying to offset supernatural healing or storming heaven on her behalf. |
***** Combine the above with the actual statement about Aunt May being at peace with dying to offset supernatural healing or storming heaven on her behalf. |
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**** The way time travel works in the MU ([[Timey-Wimey Ball|this week]]), is that Spidey going back and changing time would spin off an alternate reality, instead of altering his own. Reed ''still'' should've been able to find some way. |
**** The way time travel works in the MU ([[Timey-Wimey Ball|this week]]), is that Spidey going back and changing time would spin off an alternate reality, instead of altering his own. Reed ''still'' should've been able to find some way. |
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