Wall Banger/Video Games: Difference between revisions

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** Which gets even better if you're wearing Chinese stealth armour, which turns you invisible, so even while they beat you to unconsciousness, there's still a message at the top of the screen saying you haven't been detected; i.e. they don't even know you're there and just decided to wail on a doorway in the hopes an invisible person might be standing there.

** And when you get enough "cred" to be given your gear back after winning the arena fights (for some reason the Raiders haven't split it up and sold it yet, and trust you enough to give it to you despite suspecting you of causing a slave rebellion) you ''can'' go on a Raider-killing rampage. You can kill ''everyone'', even the top-guards, without breaking a sweat. It is not explained why you had to be so cautious at first when you end up killing them all in a massive rebellion anyways.

* Little Lamplight. There's a town full of nothing but children under 16. Okay. They kick teenagers out when they turn 16. Less okay. You have to go rescue some of their friends from slavers before they let you in. Less okay, considering that the entrance to their town is [[Insurmountable Waist Height Fence|a plywood gate]] guarded by a prepubescent boy with an assault rifle, and the player has access to things like flamers and miniature nuclear weapons. In real life, the player could just grab the Mayor from his post near the gate, pull him outside, and hold him hostage until someone else opens the gate. However, all the kids in Little Lamplight have plot armour, except the one who's just turned 16 and is forced to head off to "Big Town". Leaving aside the question of where the kids all came from in the first place, there's a whole slew of Super Mutants on the other side of the town, all of whom are, like the player, equally unable to get past ''that'' plywood gate without assistance. To sum up, we have a town of invincible children from nowhere, surrounded by heavily armed slavers and Super Mutants on both sides, none of whom are able to get past a pair of flimsy plywood gates constructed by the aforementioned children. Did I mention that the kids are ''all'' rude and arrogant, precisely the sort of people the PC would want to kill if only they weren't invincible?

* Little Lamplight. There's a town full of nothing but children under 16. Okay. They kick teenagers out when they turn 16. Less okay. You have to go rescue some of their friends from slavers before they let you in. Less okay, considering that the entrance to their town is [[Insurmountable Waist-Height Fence|a plywood gate]] guarded by a prepubescent boy with an assault rifle, and the player has access to things like flamers and miniature nuclear weapons. In real life, the player could just grab the Mayor from his post near the gate, pull him outside, and hold him hostage until someone else opens the gate. However, all the kids in Little Lamplight have plot armour, except the one who's just turned 16 and is forced to head off to "Big Town". Leaving aside the question of where the kids all came from in the first place, there's a whole slew of Super Mutants on the other side of the town, all of whom are, like the player, equally unable to get past ''that'' plywood gate without assistance. To sum up, we have a town of invincible children from nowhere, surrounded by heavily armed slavers and Super Mutants on both sides, none of whom are able to get past a pair of flimsy plywood gates constructed by the aforementioned children. Did I mention that the kids are ''all'' rude and arrogant, precisely the sort of people the PC would want to kill if only they weren't invincible?

** The developers actually intended the secret of where the children of Little Lamplight came from to be ambiguous, though one could surmise that since teenage girls can still get pregnant by 16...of course, leaving a giant open question like this is a Wall Banger in and of itself.

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** The character of Prishe in ''Chains of Promathia'' pretty much turned what could have been an interesting story about ancient arcane civilizations and turns it into a glorified scavenger hunt for a horribly abrasive character and her fawning entourage. For a description of the character herself, she also has an entry in [[Tsundere Sue]] (that, alone, should say quite a bit). A more specific example, though, is mission 7-5, which completely derails one of the characters in order to force a boss battle, then just negates it all without anybody so much as even giving him a second glance.

** The quest "Apocalypse Nigh" (which is technically a continuation of the ''Rise of the Zilart'' and ''Chains of Promathia'' storylines). Obviously borne out of player outrage at the death of a popular character during the primary ''Zilart'' storyline, it comes up with a flimsy excuse to bring her back (which is made more dubious considering the character never gets used again). The moment it hits the wall is when you see every major villain in the two storylines take on every major protagonist in what was a very blatant "making it up as we go along" story.

** The plot of ''Treasures of Aht Urhgan'' hands ''you'' the [[Idiot Ball]], putting you through utterly idiotic [[But Thou Must]] choices in order to force the plot along.

** The plot of ''Treasures of Aht Urhgan'' hands ''you'' the [[Idiot Ball]], putting you through utterly idiotic [[But Thou Must!]] choices in order to force the plot along.

** Time will tell if any consideration is given to the gross negligence towards time paradox situations that the ''Wings of the Goddess'' expansion has chosen to ignore for now.

* ''[[Final Fantasy XII Revenant Wings (Video Game)|Final Fantasy XII Revenant Wings]]''. When you finally caught up to the Judge of Wings ({{spoiler|Mydia}}) and beaten her, everyone, save Fran and Balthier, [[Easily Forgiven|are all hugs and sympathy]]. Considering that {{spoiler|Mydia}} had just {{spoiler|[[Moral Event Horizon|finished slaughtering her entire race]] ([[Disposable Woman|who I must note had done nothing wrong and were completely innocent]]) and provided a [[That One Boss|difficult boss battle]], [[Karma Houdini|what the hell?!]] Her motivation was basically [[Sympathetic Sue|"I'm so lonely and my lover's dead and I want to bring him back]] and [[Roaring Rampage of Revenge|possibly get some revenge]]" while her reasons for killing off her race was "I don't want [[Big Bad|Feolthanos]] to use them like he used me" when she could've just ignored them instead of killing them, since when you see Feolthanos, he's basically a giant, immobile crystal. Also, considering that she had gotten some of her anima back, [[What an Idiot!|she could've just asked the party for help instead of fighting them]].}}

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* In the second ''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon'' games, the freaking Perfect Apples incident. You're supposed to go to Apple Forest to collect Perfect Apples because Team Skull ate the stock. When you get there, of course Team Skull defeats you and steals the stock. At least Chatot would listen, right? [[Superman Returns|WRONG!]] Instead, he blames you and your partner, and he punishes you by going without dinner and facing the wrath of the Guildmaster. Oh, and the scene with the other guild members sending their food to you the next day because you're hungry did not ease the pain! It's that bad! Even worse, even without the "he said she said" with Team Skull, just from the evidence that can be readily ascertained from ''basic observation'', the basic adventure boils down to "we went to where the Perfect Apples grow and the trees had been stripped bare". Hardly the kind of experience that warrants ''punishment'', let alone being declared failures.

** What makes it even stupider is after you say that you didn't get any Apples because Team Skull took them all, Wigglytuff starts to cry. You're saved from a temper tantrum by Team Skull coming in...WITH A PERFECT APPLE. One most wonder, where did they get that? It couldn't possibly have been FROM THE TREE, HUH?!

* A thud-worthy moment made its way into ''[[Pokémon Ranger (Video Game)|Pokémon Ranger]]: Shadows of Almia'', combining [[Hostage for Macguffin]] with [[But Thou Must]]. After clearing the Hippowdon Temple and gathering the Yellow Gem after a tough Pokémon capture, you leave the temple and receive a "vicemail" from Heath of Team Dim Sun, who had been giving you fake distress signals throughout your mission shortly after Keith disappeared. You've been suspicious of him all along (especially since he speaks [[You No Take Candle]]), but when he asks you to exchange the Yellow Gem for Keith, [[Stupidity Is the Only Option|the game won't proceed unless you say "yes"]], and Keith isn't in that much danger anyway (he's tied up, but the Dim Sun copter is just a few feet off the ground, so it isn't like they could have dropped or shot him or anything). So now, you've gotta go halfway across Almia to get that thing back ''again!''

* A thud-worthy moment made its way into ''[[Pokémon Ranger (Video Game)|Pokémon Ranger]]: Shadows of Almia'', combining [[Hostage for Macguffin]] with [[But Thou Must!]]. After clearing the Hippowdon Temple and gathering the Yellow Gem after a tough Pokémon capture, you leave the temple and receive a "vicemail" from Heath of Team Dim Sun, who had been giving you fake distress signals throughout your mission shortly after Keith disappeared. You've been suspicious of him all along (especially since he speaks [[You No Take Candle]]), but when he asks you to exchange the Yellow Gem for Keith, [[Stupidity Is the Only Option|the game won't proceed unless you say "yes"]], and Keith isn't in that much danger anyway (he's tied up, but the Dim Sun copter is just a few feet off the ground, so it isn't like they could have dropped or shot him or anything). So now, you've gotta go halfway across Almia to get that thing back ''again!''

* Flareon has remained the [[Tier Induced Scrappy]] of the [[Fan Nickname|Eeveelutions]] since ''[[Pokémon Red and Blue (Video Game)|Pokémon Red and Blue]]'', where it was unable to take advantage of its monstrous (physical) Attack because of its Fire-typing and pathetic physical movepool. In ''[[Pokémon Diamond and Pearl (Video Game)|Pokémon Diamond and Pearl]]'', however, the physical-special split of typings has resulted in a powerful physical Fire move known as Flare Blitz. Because Flareon is tied with Ho-oh for the highest Attack of all Fire-types, not to mention the move ''had Flareon's name on it'', it was sure to throw Flareon the bone it truly needed. As of ''[[Pokémon Black and White (Video Game)|Pokémon Black and White]]'', Flareon has been denied Flare Blitz for the ''[[Yank the Dog's Chain|fourth time in a row]]''. At least Entei got it. Eventually.

* The original ''Pokémon Ranger'' has a big one in the "Four Challenges" level. After you've beat the first three (annoying as hell) Pokémon, your partner, after being SPECIFICALLY TOLD not to do all four chambers, suggests the two of you go into the fourth "just to check it out". You are not allowed to say "No, Lunick/Solana, I'm tired of these stupid ruins full of irritating 'tests'. Let's go home." No, you have to go in there, and you have to explore it to your idiot partner's heart's content. Now, it's a lava level, suggesting the challenge Pokémon's a Fire-type. Keep that in mind. You get to the back of the chamber and find the [[Quirky Miniboss Squad|Go Rock Quads]] with a Charizard. You know, Fire-type? You know by now that these four aren't to be trusted, so their "oh, this poor Charizard is suffering" story is weaker than tissue paper. Even though it's so freaking obvious to the player this is the challenge and things will end badly, YOU CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL YOU CAPTURE THE CHARIZARD.

* Okay, so [[Brutal Bonus Level|The Battle Frontier]] makes for a pretty good side challenge for the competitive gamer and whatnot, but why is grinding Battle Points necessary to get anything? By the time [[Pokémon Gold and Silver (Video Game)|HeartGold and SoulSilver]] came around, the list of things that could only be bought with BP amounts to TM's, evolution items, training items, held items, and even Move Tutors. It wouldn't be such a bad idea if it [[Luck Based Mission|DIDN'T TAKE]] [[Nintendo Hard|FUCKING FOREVER]] [[The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard|TO GRIND]] [[Random Number God|THAT MANY POINTS.]] The only way you'll get a sizable amount in a decent time is to actually get the chance to challenge a [[Bonus Boss|Frontier Brain]], but even provided you make it to them, they could still easily whoop your ass and ruin your streak without so much as a consolation prize. Apparently, Game Freak thinks only [[A God Am I|gods]] deserve to teach their bugs how to bite things or something.<ref>It doesn't help that the shards, the payment for Move Tutors in [[Pokémon Diamond and Pearl (Video Game)|Pokémon Diamond and Pearl]], are easier to grind in this game but instead are reserved for ''berries''</ref>

* Okay, so [[Brutal Bonus Level|The Battle Frontier]] makes for a pretty good side challenge for the competitive gamer and whatnot, but why is grinding Battle Points necessary to get anything? By the time [[Pokémon Gold and Silver (Video Game)|HeartGold and SoulSilver]] came around, the list of things that could only be bought with BP amounts to TM's, evolution items, training items, held items, and even Move Tutors. It wouldn't be such a bad idea if it [[Luck-Based Mission|DIDN'T TAKE]] [[Nintendo Hard|FUCKING FOREVER]] [[The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard|TO GRIND]] [[Random Number God|THAT MANY POINTS.]] The only way you'll get a sizable amount in a decent time is to actually get the chance to challenge a [[Bonus Boss|Frontier Brain]], but even provided you make it to them, they could still easily whoop your ass and ruin your streak without so much as a consolation prize. Apparently, Game Freak thinks only [[A God Am I|gods]] deserve to teach their bugs how to bite things or something.<ref>It doesn't help that the shards, the payment for Move Tutors in [[Pokémon Diamond and Pearl (Video Game)|Pokémon Diamond and Pearl]], are easier to grind in this game but instead are reserved for ''berries''</ref>

** Thank God for the Trainer House in Viridian City in HeartGold and SoulSilver, where you can battle Cal and other Trainers whose Pokéwalkers you interacted with and win 1 BP per victory. Made better by the fact that you can have up to 10 people (plus Cal) and just have them put low-level Pokemon in their teams when they interact with you. You can get up to 11 BP per day this way, which really adds up fast.

* Another Black and White example. Each one of Rotom's alternate forms have the type of their unique move replacing their Ghost typing. Rotom-S became Electric/Flying-type, but still has Levitate as an ability.

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*** He ''would'' have no authority... if the Federation hadn't staked out the place first. It's their territory, and Samus (as an independent agent) is only allowed to work there provided she follows their directions.

**** Except that Samus is a galactic hero, experienced at surviving perilous situations, and is pretty much a weapon of mass destruction. If she just called the Federation, they would order the troops to defer to ''her'', as well they should. Even assuming they didn't, there is no reason she can't just leave, and the depicted relationship with Adam gives us nothing worthy of respect. In fact, for her trust, he nearly lets her die, and she refuses to disobey him even when her life is at risk and the measure in question is entirely defensive.

* The end of ''[[Neverwinter Nights 2 (Video Game)|Neverwinter Nights 2]]'': [[Rocks Fall Everyone Dies]]. The blow is softened if taken with the expansion, when more information is given.

* The end of ''[[Neverwinter Nights 2 (Video Game)|Neverwinter Nights 2]]'': [[Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies]]. The blow is softened if taken with the expansion, when more information is given.

** While ''Neverwinter Nights 2'' tries to rectify the rather glaring problems with the original's alignment shifts (such as having literally ''no way'' of shifting alignment across half the axes), it does seem to go over the top on some, and stride brazenly into Wall Banger territory on others.

*** While dealing with a City Watchman who looks like he may be about to accept a bribe, one dialog option results in shifting the PC's alignment one point towards chaotic and then ''immediately shifting it back one point towards lawful'' without any interceding input.

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*** And it's, again, [http://hlcomic.com/index.php?date=2006-09-12 lampshaded] in ''[[Concerned]]''

**** I was always under the impression that the weapons field was primarily only designed for commonly used weapons, such as pistols, rifles and crowbars and bug bait and other such things. It was supposed to disintegrate matter and when it stumbled onto something that ran on whatever [[Applied Phlebotinum]] Black Mesa uses, it spit out a 404 error, namely the Dark Energy Field Manipulator.

* ''[[Command and Conquer (Video Game)|Command and Conquer]] 4: Tiberian Twilight.'' The whole thing. The sad thing is, EA was actually doing all right. ''C&C3'' and ''Red Alert 3'' were both good titles. So what the hell happened? Nearly all of the good plot bits from ''Tiberium Wars'' were dropped (no Scrin, no LEGION, etc.) in favor of a half-assed plot about GDI and Nod uniting for little reason, and then getting into a civil war. The plot changes Kane from a [[Badass]] [[Magnificent Bastard]] to a [[God Mode Sue]] trying to save humanity. All of the wars from the first three games were made totally pointless as a result, and the whole game [[Doing in The Wizard|fucks up what mystery and supernatural presence the Brotherhood of Nod had.]] And no matter who you pick, you more or less get the same ending: {{spoiler|The GDI leader is killed, the [[Non Entity General]] player character dies opening a Scrin portal, and Kane and Nod [[Karma Houdini|get away with nearly destroying the planet three times over AND calling down an alien invasion, by "Ascending" through the portal.]] }} This makes the end of the Tiberium storyline all the more bitter and all the less sweet.

* ''[[Command and Conquer (Video Game)|Command and Conquer]] 4: Tiberian Twilight.'' The whole thing. The sad thing is, EA was actually doing all right. ''C&C3'' and ''Red Alert 3'' were both good titles. So what the hell happened? Nearly all of the good plot bits from ''Tiberium Wars'' were dropped (no Scrin, no LEGION, etc.) in favor of a half-assed plot about GDI and Nod uniting for little reason, and then getting into a civil war. The plot changes Kane from a [[Badass]] [[Magnificent Bastard]] to a [[God Mode Sue]] trying to save humanity. All of the wars from the first three games were made totally pointless as a result, and the whole game [[Doing in The Wizard|fucks up what mystery and supernatural presence the Brotherhood of Nod had.]] And no matter who you pick, you more or less get the same ending: {{spoiler|The GDI leader is killed, the [[Non-Entity General]] player character dies opening a Scrin portal, and Kane and Nod [[Karma Houdini|get away with nearly destroying the planet three times over AND calling down an alien invasion, by "Ascending" through the portal.]] }} This makes the end of the Tiberium storyline all the more bitter and all the less sweet.

* ''The Indigo Prophecy'' (a.k.a. ''[[Fahrenheit (Video Game)|Fahrenheit]]'') started off as a really fun adventure game in which you play as both a man wanted for murder and the cops who are on his trail. About 3/4ths into the game, however, the main character and his girlfriend both die off-screen, he becomes undead (she's not as lucky) and gains [[The Matrix|Neo]]-like powers, and fights both a sorcerer and the holographic avatar of the internet. "Holographic" in this case meant "Invisible, and half-covered in yellow post-it notes".

** And that's not even the worst of it: Suddenly, two of the game's player characters decide they're madly in love with each other and decide to bonk each other's brains out, just in case the world ends tomorrow. Yeah, totally not awkward at all. Also, one of the aforementioned player characters is a reanimated corpse. The other comments about how cold he is, but isn't bothered at all. And how the hell does he get an erection if he not longer has blood flowing through his veins? There is even a further Wallbanger here because, despite being a walking corpse, he is still able to father a kid!

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