Washington DC: Difference between revisions

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== '''Why Is It Called The District?''' ==

Combined with Baltimore, it makes up the Baltimore-Washington Metropolitan Area. Baltimore is less than an hour's drive from Washington (theoretically -- traffic can be ''brutal'') and urban sprawl between the two is pretty much continuous. However, the two cities are culturally distinct, and because of the gap both Baltimore and Washington have separate TV and radio stations covering their areas despite the short distance between the two.

There's also a large cultural disconnect between DC and Virginia, to the point where people, especially [[Deep South|Southern]] transplants and DC natives, actually stick to their own side of the river. Unless, of course, you're talking about Arlington, Alexandria, and much of Fairfax County, who actually have more in common with DC Natives than the rest of their state. Northern Virginia is mostly suburbs of DC and, as such, identify with the rest of the region far more so than the rest of Virginia <ref>In 1980, Joel Garreau wrote in his book ''The Nine Nations of North America'' that many Virginians believed that, culturally and politically, anything north of the Rappahannock River was "Yankee" territory. These days, however, with urban sprawl spreading down south past Fredericksburg, the new "border" is probably the North Anna River, about halfway between the Rappahannock and the Virginia state capital at Richmond</ref>.

The second part is housing for the mainly-black working classes that staff the government service jobs, clean the offices, and serve the food for the first half. The second city of Washington is almost entirely devoid of public services -- everyone lucky enough to have a job works downtown -- while the first is an unbroken line of office buildings, luxury apartments, shops, and campuses stretching out from downtown DC to the north and west. While the first is relatively safe, parts of the second city remain ghettos with some of the highest crime and murder rates in the nation. While most American cities have this dichotomy to some extent, DC is one of the more extreme examples.

Central Washington, known as the ''L'Enfant City'' (the part laid out by [[Egopolis|said Frenchman]] in 1790 as a planned metropolis) has seen massive urban renewal to make the areas convenient to the centre [[Space Brasilia|"look more like America"]], "as befits the heart of our democracy" -- if America had a mean income of $500,000, that is. At one point these efforts were justified by high crime rates (14th street was the [[Vice City|red light district]], two blocks from The White House, and downtown DC used to be a collection of boarded-up buildings and souvenir shops). But since the [[The Eighties|80s]] and [[The Nineties|90s]] crime epidemic [[Reality Is Unrealistic|has actually subsided]], it's merely been justified as "quality of life" ([[Blatant Lies|and not just for senators and their escorts]], either).

Washington is infamous for its [[Long Hot Summer|Long Hot Summers]] and notorious for its plain-dress, anti-fashion sentiment. Tourists are notorious for their flamboyant yet weather-appropriate Safari attire, such as fishing caps, cargo shorts, and fanny packs. Dress appropriately. Note for tourists: If you don't want to look like a tourist, [[Berserk Button|stand to the right]] on escalators.

The museums on the Mall are all free. Good luck finding a place to eat, though; the American Indian Museum is popular. The best time to visit D.C. is in March, when the [[Cherry Blossoms]] bloom. This is the only festival the locals take seriously, and much like Mardi Gras, you have to know when and where to actually go -- the blossoms never coincide with the actual festival. When they do bloom, millions of people descend on the Mall at once in a blossom-fueled rage.<ref>Note - [[Serious Business|This actually happens.]] </ref>

* [[The Library of Babel|The Library of Congress]]: The world's largest library. Required by law to have a copy of every book ever published in the US. Most are accessible only to researchers<ref>If you're willing to pay for a researcher to transcribe something, they will. If it's already been transcribed, you can get a copy for a nominal fee.</ref> , but visitors are allowed to explore the gigantic main building which looks like a 19th-century Opera house. If you live in the area, you can go down and apply for a researcher's card; the process is a bit more involved than applying for your local library card, though, as applicants are taken through a computerized quiz which is focused on ascertaining the fields of knowledge of particular interest to you. Unless you're a Member of Congress or a Congressional staff member, you can't actually check out books; you must request them at the various desks in the "reading rooms". There are a number of these rooms, several of which (e.g., in the Jefferson and Adams Buildings) are quite large, and most of which are devoted to specific topic areas (for example, the Madison Building is where you'd go to do research in law or the performing arts). Researchers are allowed to use laptops and portable scanners, but thanks mainly to former national security advisor [[wikipedia:Sandy Berger|Sandy Berger]] sneaking critical documents out of the building for his own uses, must get written permission first at the reading desks.

** Arlington Cemetery: a military cemetery (also in Virginia; it's only about half a mile from The Pentagon and the Lincoln Memorial), but not everyone there actually died in a war. Veterans who served during wartime can be buried there too, along with their families. Burial place of JFK. Before the [[American Civil War]], it was the plantation of Confederate general Robert E. Lee; the house still stands overlooking the grounds, and is itself a museum. The Iwo Jima Memorial, a giant statue reproducing the iconic photograph of U.S. Marines (and a Navy corpsman) raising the American flag on Mount Suribachi in February of 1945, is not far from here.

* Metrorail - DC's subway system, the second-busiest in the nation and designed as something of an antithesis to the New York City Subway, with huge domed-concrete stations, hexagonal tile floors, computer-controlled cars, and notoriously strict rules about consuming food and beverages. Designed in the late 1960s as a [[Time for Plan B|Plan B]] to redirect unused freeway funds to some form of transport (as DC residents saw that they [[Big No|really didn't want freeways]] cutting apart their backyards and neighborhoods), it was made with an eye toward luring commuters out of their cars -- a plan that, 40 years on, seems to have worked. It's starting to show its age a bit (it went online in 1976) and is nearing capacity, but still preferable to driving (especially if you're aware of how bad DC traffic is).

== '''The Neighborhoods''' ==

* '''Anacostia'''<br />D.C. is an amalgam of people from around the United States and sits on the dividing line between the North and South, which is still very bright for some residents who refuse to cross the Potomac River except to go to a ballgame. The further south and east you go, the more it resembles a Southern town, such as [[The Big Easy|New Orleans]]. The houses are small and working class, the neighborhoods mostly black.<br /><br />South and east of Capitol Hill is the Anacostia river, hemmed in by levees and old industrial sidings. This marks the boundary with [[Wrong Side of the Tracks|the hard lands]], known to some people as "Simple City"<ref>(because the choice between life and death is very simple there)</ref>. The [[Super Fun Happy Thing of Doom|Department of Homeland Security]] has cheerfully decided to build its national HQ in a [[Abandoned Hospital|converted mental hospital]] in Simple City, just south of Anacostia's [[Dissonant Serenity|surprisingly quaint]] main drag. This part of town is also the home of D.C.'s other native music, go-go.<ref>no, not ''[[Stripperiffic|that go-go]].''</ref> It is a lo-fi cross between funk and hip-hop that is played with guitar and dozens of percussion instruments.

* '''Suburban Maryland'''<br />Going north, into Maryland, it often resembles [[Joisey|New Jersey]], and is populated by staunchly liberal Yankees, such as the college professors, [[New Age Retro Hippie|hippies]], and multi-cultural immigrant neighborhoods in and around Takoma Park, Silver Spring, and Mount Rainier, Maryland. This is where you can find all the delis, antique stores, and curry shops. Riverdale, Maryland is Little Mexico.<br /><br />The two Maryland counties that surround DC are Montgomery County to the North and West, and Prince George's County to the South and East. Montgomery County is the richest county in the State, Prince George's county not so much (but not the poorest). An old joke about the importance of Montgomery County was that "The legislature in Annapolis considers its job to pump money out of Montgomery County and into the City of Baltimore."<br /><br />There is, however, often a stark distinction between Montgomery County and Prince George's County, the two Maryland counties that border the District. Prince George's County outside of Greenbelt (a leafy, affluent suburb like much of neighboring Montgomery County) and College Park (home to the University of Maryland's main campus) resemble Southeast. However, there is much development of the National Waterfront area. <br /><br />Northeast along the high-speed tracks going towards [[New York City|New York]] is a marginally unsafe dead zone of tire salons and automobile dealerships. Everything west of the railroad tracks can be considered an extension of Upper Northwest and is just as affluent, with quaint Victorian homes. Metrorail service is also much more extensive on the Maryland side, and most of the suburbs have actual downtowns with a train station, restaurants and shops.

* '''Northern Virginia'''<br />If DC is a tale of two cities, then the third part is Virginia, across the Potomac River -- a haven for [[No Such Agency|infotech workers and military]]. This is where the heroes in political and spy thrillers live (If you hear the word "Langley", you immediately think of the CIA). Many north of the Potomac consider it the edge of the [[Deep South|American South]], at least outside Arlington, which is heavily urbanized (and, perhaps, Alexandria and portions of Fairfax County as well?). Many, if not most, modern NoVa-ites tend to consider themselves more "Yankee" than anything else, however - much to the chagrin of their southern neighbors in the rest of the state. The Pentagon and National Airport are there. Northern Virginia is actually larger than DC, but much more spread out. Refugees from major modern wars (Korean, Vietnam, and all the Middle Eastern conflicts) tend to settle there due to military connections as well as immigrants from many other regions (for example, NoVA has large Hispanic populations mostly from Central America, including the largest Bolivian American community in the country). Along with the growing number of young urbanites moving into the region, they help [[Friendly Local Chinatown|dilute the old southern influence]].<br /><br />The most affluent portion of the region, Northern Virginia has some of the wealthiest and most well educated counties in the country. South and west, the communities of Arlington, Alexandria and Tysons Corner, with no high-rise limits, resemble [[SoCalization|Los Angeles]] or the southern city of [[Atlanta]], with crushing traffic on 8-lane roads, towering high security office complexes (populated by government contractors known as "Beltway Bandits"), and vast office parks. Wilson Boulevard provides a vaguely-human scaled "main street" to the area. Columbia Pike, a former suburb for enlisted military, is one of many small pockets of ethnic diversity. Old Town Alexandria is a quaint historic district, located just north of George Washington's home (in the world's best commuter incentive, he arranged for the District to be built near his house). Some roads in Alexandria area are still named after [[Values Dissonance|Confederate]] [[The American Civil War|Generals]]. Going west on I-66 leads to the exurbs of Chantilly County. While only the very wealthy own homes in D.C. proper or Arlington/Alexandria, many on the very next rung down on the income ladder own homes in Chantilly.

Downtown DC itself is deceptively large -- the museum corridor is two miles long -- and sits on the border between the three<ref>(Northwest, Southeast, [[And Zoidberg|and Virginia]])</ref> areas. '''K Street''', in the center of town, is indeed a [[Wretched Hive]] of lawyers and industry lobbyists.

* ''[[American Dad]]'' -- the Smith family lives in the fictional Virginian suburb of Langley Falls.

* ''[[Being There]]'' -- Biltmore Estate is hidden away in Georgetown.

* ''D.C. Cab'' -- A [[Mr. T]] film which is among the few DC films to be set in the urban core of the city.

* ''[[Minority Report]]'' -- Northern Virginia has become a sprawling post-apocalyptic slum.