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(Import from TV Tropes TVT:Main.WizardPeopleDearReader 2012-07-01, editor history TVTH:Main.WizardPeopleDearReader, CC-BY-SA 3.0 Unported license) |
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[[File:Wizardpeople_8161.jpg|frame|This wizard has seen YOU.]]
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▲{{quote| ''The god-wheel of fate has stopped for all these kiddies on "yes." Yes in-fucking-deed, you will be a wizard.''}}
'''''Wizard People, Dear Reader''''' is a 2004 free audio file by [[Brad Neely]] that provides a humorous [[Gag Dub|alternative narration]] of [[Harry Potter|Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone]], meant to be listened to alone or in sync with [[The Film of the Book|the movie]]. [https://archive.org/details/wizard-people/ It is available] at the [[Internet Archive]].
Much of the humor comes from Neely's modifications to many characters and plot elements, as well as his [[Lemony Narrator|distinct style of narration]], including obnoxious hyperbole, awkward similes, and the tendency to get gradually more vulgar as the movie goes on.
{{tropelist}}
* [[The Adjectival Superhero]]: The wretched Harmony, the near-dead Dumbledore...
* [[Affectionate Parody]]
* [[Ambiguously Gay]]: "Snake, astonished that she has an admirer, and Mouthoil, astonished that he likes women."
* [[Badass]]: Harry, Harry's dad {{spoiler|who's actually his step-dad}}
{{quote|
* [[Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs]]: Apples! Candied Apples! Appled Candy! Candied Whiskey! Apple Fritters! Also [[Purple Prose]].
** Also, the Sorceror's Stones powers include: lead into gold, horses into gold, immortal life, giving ghosts restored bodies, frag trolls, trolls into gold . . .
* [[Brick Joke]]: "I've got some horses to look after."
* [[Cluster F
** When Hagrid recounts how he told a mysterious stranger about putting Fluffy to sleep, Harry reacts as follows: "What? What could have made you say that? What do you think this is, a fucking free-for-all of facts? Why don't you go and get on the school PA, and tell everyone {{spoiler|my dad is Val-mart, and I'm half-Dracula...}} What fucking good are you? Why don't you learn to keep a God-damn secret you hairy piece of shit?!"
* [[Death Is Cheap]]: {{spoiler|Harmony dies.}} Very briefly. So quickly, in fact, that you can't even see it.
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* [[Gag Dub]]
* [[Lemony Narrator]]
* [[Luke, I Am Your Father]]: {{spoiler|Val-Mart is Harry's father.}}
* [[Metaphorgotten]]
{{quote|
''She had the face like that of a burnt out candle stick.'' }}
* [[Mister Seahorse]]: {{spoiler|Hagar is the dragon's mother.}}
* [[Nay Theist]]: Ronnie the Bear looked upon the gates of Heaven and rejected God, claiming Heaven is for those too weak and frightened to face the black nothingness.
* [[Out
* [[Paper
* [[Precision F
** And for Dumbledore: "We will find. That fucking troll. And we will kill. Its fucking ass."
* [[Purple Prose]]: Parts of the narration are so purple, you may go blind.
* [[Running Gag]]: Pretty much everything Brad Neely ever says, but especially his tendency to rename characters, often inconsistently.
** Also, the alcoholism of nearly every character. And Harry's love of small horse figurines.
{{quote|
* [[Unreliable Voiceover]]: Wait, I don't see any whiskey flasks...
** If you are watching the screen as the gang passes Cerberus, you might be skeptical of Neely when he says that The Wretched Harmony is being mauled to death, since on screen she appears to be perfectly fine.
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{{Harry Potter Franchise}}
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[[Category:Fan Works of the 2000s]]
[[Category:Web Original]]
[[Category:Web Original of the 2000s]]
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