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[[File:Wizardpeople_8161.jpg|frame|This wizard has seen YOU.]]
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''Wizard People, Dear Reader'' is a free audio file by [[Brad Neely]] that provides a humorous [[Gag Dub|alternative narration]] of [[Harry Potter|Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone]], meant to be listened to alone or in sync with [[The Film of the Book|the movie]].
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* [[Ambiguously Gay]]: "Snake, astonished that she has an admirer, and Mouthoil, astonished that he likes women."
* [[Badass]]: Harry, Harry's dad {{spoiler|who's actually his step-dad}}
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* [[Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs]]: Apples! Candied Apples! Appled Candy! Candied Whiskey! Apple Fritters! Also [[Purple Prose]].
** Also, the Sorceror's Stones powers include: lead into gold, horses into gold, immortal life, giving ghosts restored bodies, frag trolls, trolls into gold . . .
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* [[Luke, I Am Your Father]]: {{spoiler|Val-Mart is Harry's father.}}
* [[Metaphorgotten]]
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''She had the face like that of a burnt out candle stick.'' }}
* [[Mister Seahorse]]: {{spoiler|Hagar is the dragon's mother.}}
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* [[Running Gag]]: Pretty much everything Brad Neely ever says, but especially his tendency to rename characters, often inconsistently.
** Also, the alcoholism of nearly every character. And Harry's love of small horse figurines.
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* [[Unreliable Voiceover]]: Wait, I don't see any whiskey flasks...
** If you are watching the screen as the gang passes Cerberus, you might be skeptical of Neely when he says that The Wretched Harmony is being mauled to death, since on screen she appears to be perfectly fine.
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