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30 "H"s: Difference between revisions
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[[File:30Hs_2161.jpg|frame|FUCK YEAH!]]
There are some [[Fanfic|Fan Fics]] that you won't forget. This is one of them. It is a ''[[Harry Potter]]'' fanfic, just like ''[[My Immortal]]''. It's [[So Bad It's Good]], just like ''[[My Immortal]]'', it has extreme [[Canon Defilement]], just like ''[[My Immortal]]''. However, the two are different in one key detail. Whereas ''[[My Immortal]]'' was ([[Troll Fic|in theory]]) written by a [[Wangst]]y 13 year old girl, this was ([[Troll Fic|in theory]]) written by an insane 13 year old boy. So, instead of goffic sorrow and vampires, we get groinsaws and demonic astronauts ''in the very first sentence''. Instead of various emo goff bands playing every night in the same wizard town for no apparent reason, we get Fuckslayer, a guitar from a dimension where all screamed for naught, wrought from the silver heart of heaven's false promise, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals. [["Not Making This Up" Disclaimer|And yes, that is a direct quote]].
What fanfic are we talking about? Why, ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/1/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 30 "H"s]'' of course. ''30 "H"s'' isn't actually the fanfic's name; like everyone's favorite [[Eldritch Abomination]], it's just shorter and easier to remember than its real name of ''HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'', and can be pronounced without first contracting bronchitis.
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* [[Black Comedy Rape]]: The rape ape and [[Unfortunate Names|Rape Radbury]]. Nobody ever actually gets raped over the course of the story.
* [[Blatant Lies]]: This fic is tagged under Angst/Romance, and the characters as Bellatrix Lestrange and Seamus Finnigan.
* [[But You Screw One Goat!|But You Faggart One Sun]]:
{{quote|Is it a sin, should a man feel like faggarting a sun or a thousand? Why should the suns heave through the void, if not to be skewer't bypon ourn fagpoles?}}
* [[Chainsaw Good]]: [[Rule of Cool|GROINSAWS]].
* [[Cluster F-Bomb]]: "Fuck" appears more than any other word.
* [[Corrupt Church]]: Possibly the inquisitors.
* [[Cow Tools]]: There are explicitly machines that have no purpose except for blinking lights and soft hums in the laboratory.
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* [[Dissimile]]: "Harry slammed his book shut. It wasn't really a book, because the pages were made of lasers and the words were made of headless women making godless love to dragons made out of motorcycles, but it was still reading."
* [[Earthshattering Kaboom]]: Harry "kills the fuck out of" two planets during the course of the story, and Dumblecop kicks another one in half.
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]: Pretty much everyone.
* [[Everything's Better with Monkeys]]: Everything's Better With Rape Apes ([[Squick|or not]]).
* [[Satiating Sandwich]]: [[Subverted Trope|Subverted]] -- Harry does not like the "cabbagewich", which might explain why it was the last piece of food on the planet of Surf Ninjas.
* [[Wicked Weasel|Everything's Wicked With Weasels]]: The bald weasel with toothpicks for legs.
* [[Evil Weapon]]: Fuckslayer is a particularly unholy example; it's made out of angel menstrual blood, the horns of Satan and his generals, and ''heaven itself''. Harry stores it in a dimension where all screams for naught. [[Earthshattering Kaboom|It can also destroy planets]].
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* [[In Medias Res]]: It starts with a battle between Harry, Dobby and demonic astronauts, which, like everything else, has nothing to do with anything and is never explained.
* [[In Name Only]]: Literally, the only similarities with ''Harry Potter'' are the names of Harrry, Dobby, Ron and Dumbledore (only the first time). There' s ''one'' mention of Hogwarts getting destroyed by Harry.
* [[Insane Troll Logic]]: Take the following sentence:
{{quote|'''Harry''': Gumbledorp, if you don't stop, we'll starve, and no one will be around to kill everyone in the universe if we get around to bringing everyone back to life after we killed them.}}
* [[Instant Awesome, Just Add Ninja|Instant Awesome Just Add Surf Ninja]]
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* [[The Men in Black]]: The old man in the seventh chapter could be interpreted as this, seeing as he's in a laboratory and he has the apparent power to control Harry. He also seems scientific and addresses Harry as "a son". There's also quite a bit of [[Eldritch Abomination]] thrown into the mix, seeing as he can ''remove his own head''.
* [[Mind Screw]]: Enough to [[Go Mad From the Revelation|break your brain]]. You have been warned.
* [[New Powers as the Plot Demands]]: Harry. Then again he might have had them since whenever he became a demonic spawn [[Physical God]].
* [[Nineties Anti-Hero]]: Harry is a [[Parody Sue|hilariously over-the-top example]].
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]: Many and varied. Vampire Cavemen on Mars stands out as something you've likely never heard before.
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* [[President Evil]]: Possibly the President of Pangea, who hangs out with omnicidal god Dumbledorp.
* [[Purple Prose]]: The fic may read like the ramblings of a [[Talkative Loon]], but at least he's an ''eloquent'' one.
* [[Random Events Plot]]: That's putting it lightly.
* [[Refuge in Audacity]], [[Refuge in Cool]], and [[Refuge in Vulgarity]] all in one!
{{quote|He encased the entire meteor in a wreath of holy fuckfire and flew through Mercury, killing the fuck out of it. Then he sent Mercury's carcass into Venus, killing the fuck out of it and making every vagina in the galaxy explode, and inside every vagina a booby sang of mortal life's fleeting precipice.}}
* [[Rule of Cool]]: There is absolutely zero logical plot progression, however, there are legs made out of pistols, ''vampire caveman on Mars'' and a cursed book with '''pages MADE OUT OF LASERS and words made out of dragons, made out of motorcycles, making godless love to headless women'''.
* [[Rule of Funny]]: See the rest of this page.
* [[Scary Impractical Armor]]: Dobby's "elfin space armor" has skulls on the shoulders and a groinsaw.
* [[Set Right What Once Went Wrong]]: [[Inverted Trope|Inverted]].
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* [[Space Base]]: [[Running Gag|Fumbledorp]] has a moon base, but it's ''[[Logic Bomb|not on a moon]]''. Considering everything else that happens it wouldn't be surprising if he built himself a [[That's No Moon|Death Star]].
* [[Spot of Tea]]: [[Running Gag|Chumblebort]] offers Harry tea and "chumpits." Harry declines, as he hates chumpits.
* [[Surreal Horror]]: The seventh chapter involves warped turtles, bald ferrets with toothpicks for legs, a glass of thumb-water, and the head of an [[Eldritch Abomination]] on a spike.
* [[Testosterone Poisoning]]: See [[Refuge in Audacity]] for ''just one example''.
* [[Throwing Your Sword Always Works]]: Launching Your Groinsaw From Your Crotch Always Works.
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* [[Troll Fic]]: If it's not, the author is probably in a mental institution. Hell, [[Mind Screw|he should be anyway]].
* [[Unfortunate Names]]: ''Rape'' Radbury.
* [[Unusual Weapon Mounting]]: Dobby's Groinsaw.
* [[Villain Protagonist]]: Harry -- so [[Villain Sue|evil]] he distorts reality. The closest one gets to a proper antagonist is the rape ape, who apparently bounded Harry, and the "scientist" in the last chapter.
* [[World of Badass]]: Oh yes.
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