A Date with Rosie Palms: Difference between revisions

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Of course, there's a pretty valid reason why "normal" masturbation isn't depicted very often -- it doesn't accomplish much. There aren't many ways that masturbation could advance the plot of a story, and because it's generally a solitary activity, there usually won't be any character interaction involved.

Also note that male masturbation is used far more often than female... though that's not to say that female masturbation isn't given ''any'' attention in fiction (the "[[~~Rumpelstiltskin (Literature)|~~Rumpelstiltskin]]" tale supposedly had the [[Values Dissonance|original message]], "women who masturbate become infertile"). In older media, expect references to hairy palms and/or blindness, two widespread myths used to keep boys from masturbating, with keeping boys from masturbating being a major motive for [[Moral Guardians]] and their anti-porn crusades. ([[Blatant Lies|Of course, we have]] [[Outgrown Such Silly Superstitions]].)

Also note that male masturbation is used far more often than female... though that's not to say that female masturbation isn't given ''any'' attention in fiction (the "[[Rumpelstiltskin]]" tale supposedly had the [[Values Dissonance|original message]], "women who masturbate become infertile"). In older media, expect references to hairy palms and/or blindness, two widespread myths used to keep boys from masturbating, with keeping boys from masturbating being a major motive for [[Moral Guardians]] and their anti-porn crusades. ([[Blatant Lies|Of course, we have]] [[Outgrown Such Silly Superstitions]].)

And now, I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend [[Stealth Pun|Jill (Shakes hands)]].

And because this page wouldn't be complete without her: In Ankh-Morpork on [[~~Discworld (Literature)|~~Discworld]], Rosie Palm, the head of the [[Unusual Euphemism|Seamstresses']] [[Band of Brothels|Guild]], is named as a [[Shout-Out]] to this, derived from an old British euphemism, "Rosie Palms and her five lovely daughters".

And because this page wouldn't be complete without her: In Ankh-Morpork on [[Discworld]], Rosie Palm, the head of the [[Unusual Euphemism|Seamstresses']] [[Band of Brothels|Guild]], is named as a [[Shout-Out]] to this, derived from an old British euphemism, "Rosie Palms and her five lovely daughters".

FUN FACT: There is a Spanish actress known as Rossy de Palma. The more you know...

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* [[Breaking in Old Habits]] - A character receives a replacement hand and immediately uses it to masturbate.

* [[Caught ~~With~~ Your Pants Down]] - A character is caught masturbating.

* [[Caught with Your Pants Down]] - A character is caught masturbating.

* [[I'll Be in My Bunk]] - A character who steps off-stage is humorously portrayed as leaving to masturbate.

* [[Jizzed in My Pants]] - Yeah, self explainable.

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== Film ==

* In the film ''[[~~Real Genius (Film)|~~Real Genius]]'', the [[Cool Loser|plucky charismatic underdogs]] implant a radio in the braces of the pompous, sycophantic Kent. Kent thinks he's being addressed by the voice of God. At the end of one transmission, [[Cool Loser|Mitch]] adds, "And Kent? From now on, stop playing with yourself!" Kent wonderingly murmurs, "It ''is'' God."

* In the film ''[[Real Genius]]'', the [[Cool Loser|plucky charismatic underdogs]] implant a radio in the braces of the pompous, sycophantic Kent. Kent thinks he's being addressed by the voice of God. At the end of one transmission, [[Cool Loser|Mitch]] adds, "And Kent? From now on, stop playing with yourself!" Kent wonderingly murmurs, "It ''is'' God."

* ''[[But I'm a Cheerleader]]'': While poking fun at the ridiculous notion of a camp for curing homosexuality, the movie shows a couple of girls releasing their sexual frustration. The girls are all given small electric prods to punish themselves when they have "impure" thoughts; one girl gets creative with hers. And a short scene of the main character rubbing herself through her nightgown almost got the film an NC-17 rating.

* The title character in ''Saint Ralph'' does this in a pool while looking at a naked woman's buttocks, without any hands. The water jet in the pool causes him to have an accident.

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* In the action-comedy ''[[The Big Hit]]'', one of the assassins doesn't even seem to know what masturbation is; he explains that he has been sleeping with women since he first entered puberty, and never had to resort to gratifying himself. One of the other characters explains it to him, and from that point on in the movie, he's shown using a grip-strengthener, deciding between bottles of lotion, and at the end [[Brick Joke|there's a poster of him as "Customer of the Year" in the Adult Video section of a video store]].

* In ''[[Slackers]]'' there was a scene where a male character had to steal something from a female character's dorm while she wasn't there. After trying the door he was impatiently allowed in by the female character's (also female) roommate who was annoyed at having been interrupted masturbating. She continues to masturbate (quite enthusiastically) in the main room while he goes to the bedroom to find the [[MacGuffin|whatever it was]].

* ''[[Cthulhu (~~Film~~)|Cthulhu]]'' (2007). A flashback shows the protagonist and his friend as teenagers jerking off together under a pier while talking of the female movie stars they fancy; ironically it's a [[Ho Yay]] scene as both of them are gay, but presumably have not admitted this at that stage in their lives.

* ''[[Cthulhu (film)|Cthulhu]]'' (2007). A flashback shows the protagonist and his friend as teenagers jerking off together under a pier while talking of the female movie stars they fancy; ironically it's a [[Ho Yay]] scene as both of them are gay, but presumably have not admitted this at that stage in their lives.

* The teenage boy in ''[[Serial Mom]]''. While his parents are being murdered, no less.

* In the sex-ridden ''[[Y Tu Mama Tambien]]'', the two male protagonists are quite open about their bodies and sexual functions together, and have a dual wank on the diving boards by the pool. A mysterious white liquid then falls in the water.

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* In ''[[Tales of the Otori]]'', sexuality in general is given generally pragmatic treatment: occasionally it's an important part of the plot, but for the most part it's just in the background of the characters' lives. As such, masturbation is mentioned, but only... [[Incredibly Lame Pun|off-handedly]].

* ''Skinny'' has a rather [[Squick|squicky]] scene where a young girl masturbates while in the tub.

* In [[Robert A. Heinlein]]'s ''[[~~To Sail Beyond the Sunset (Literature)|~~To Sail Beyond the Sunset]]'', a wife, who has an open relationship with her husband, asks him over the phone if he's going to pick up a woman that night, and he admits he's too tired, it will just be "mother thumb and her four daughters."

* In [[Robert A. Heinlein]]'s ''[[To Sail Beyond the Sunset]]'', a wife, who has an open relationship with her husband, asks him over the phone if he's going to pick up a woman that night, and he admits he's too tired, it will just be "mother thumb and her four daughters."

* Apparently Jewish men aren't supposed to masturbate. That was ''[[Portnoy's Complaint ~~(Literature)~~|Portnoys Complaint]]''.

* Apparently Jewish men aren't supposed to masturbate. That was ''[[Portnoy's Complaint|Portnoys Complaint]]''.

* In ''Anatomy Of A Boyfriend,'' the main character is unable to experience "the big O" with her high school sweetheart. So after they break up, her friend buys her a personal massager. It's not for her back.

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'''Hyde:''' I've known Fez for a long time. And if he thought he was alone, we need to turn this off ''right'' now. }}

* Sid from ''[[Skins]]'' is shown masturbating in the pilot episode, although it's debatable whether he falls into the 'nerdy loser' version of this trope. Knowing ''[[Skins]]'', there are probably definitely a million other *ahem* meetings with Rosie Palms within the show.

* In an episode of ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'', Buffy herself alludes to masturbating to a friend in 5th grade. "I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'". Which she pretends to have not known what it meant at the time. Considering Willow and Tara "doing spells" together -- well, they are into magic (and [[Les Yay|each other]]) - Xander says, "Sometimes I think about two girls doing a spell together... and then I go [[A Date ~~With~~ Rosie Palms|do a spell by myself]]." In season 7 Andrew has locked himself in the bathroom to edit his documentary on Buffy.

* In an episode of ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'', Buffy herself alludes to masturbating to a friend in 5th grade. "I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'". Which she pretends to have not known what it meant at the time. Considering Willow and Tara "doing spells" together -- well, they are into magic (and [[Les Yay|each other]]) - Xander says, "Sometimes I think about two girls doing a spell together... and then I go [[A Date with Rosie Palms|do a spell by myself]]." In season 7 Andrew has locked himself in the bathroom to edit his documentary on Buffy.

{{quote| '''Anya:''' For God's sakes, Andrew. You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?

'''Andrew:''' Entertaining and educating.

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** Willow accuses Oz of doing this when he won't see her. Turns out it's because he's about to turn into a werewolf and he wants to protect her.

** In the episode "Band Candy" all the adults are turned into children, and Cordelia says her father was doing this in the bathroom.

* Rom of ''[[~~Star Trek (Franchise)|~~Star Trek]]: [[Star Trek Deep Space Nine ~~(TV)~~|Deep Space 9]]'': the sexually frustrated Ferengi had been giving himself Oo-mox.

* Rom of ''[[Star Trek]]: [[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|Deep Space 9]]'': the sexually frustrated Ferengi had been giving himself Oo-mox.

* In a spoof [[Very Special Episode]] of ''[[Roseanne]]'' in which D.J... * cough* figures out how his plumbing works and ends up spending over an hour in the bathroom, Darlene explains to their puzzled father (and the howling audience) that it means "...he's either ''really good'' at it... or ''really bad'' at it."

** A similar plot was used in ''[[Weeds]]''.

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* ''[[Degrassi]]'' as it already tackled [[No Periods, Period]] back in Season 1, had a plot in Season 8 over self-gratification. Jane admits to Clare and Alli she does own a vibrator, acting in a [[Big Brother Mentor]] fashion that being interested in sexual gratification isn't a bad thing, and it's a good thing to seek it from yourself. Eventually Clare gets 'the talk' she wanted from her mother over these subjects. She called it awkward.

* In ''[[Black Books]]'', Fran's subplot in the episode "The Big Lockout" basically involves her having a wank while listening to the shipping forecast because she finds the voice of the guy who's delivering it irresistibly arousing.

* In the US version of ''[[Queer As Folk]]'', Ted has watched so many porno tapes that when a customer asks the cashier of the porno shop for a suggestion in which tape to rent, the cashier directs the customer to Ted.

* In the US version of ''[[Queer as Folk]]'', Ted has watched so many porno tapes that when a customer asks the cashier of the porno shop for a suggestion in which tape to rent, the cashier directs the customer to Ted.

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== Anime & Manga ==

* In ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion|The End of Evangelion]]'', Shinji does this {{spoiler|[[Dude, She's Like, in A Coma|over Asuka's comatose body.]]}} With an indiscretion shot of his creamed hand... yeech!

* In ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion|The End of Evangelion]]'', Shinji does this {{spoiler|[[Dude, She's Like, in a Coma|over Asuka's comatose body.]]}} With an indiscretion shot of his creamed hand... yeech!

** [[Precision F-Strike|"I'm so fucked up..."]]

* One very disturbed individual in ''[[Shigurui]]'' (that is, more disturbed than all the other batshit characters) performed auto-fellatio while thinking about the dead young man he was out to avenge.

* ''[[Code Geass]]''. Nina Einstein, the local [[Shrinking Violet]], to a picture of her crush, using the edge of a table. Though she is quite [[Yandere]], she was perfectly sane at the time, and she doesn't actually have the massive [[Freak-Out]] until later, after {{spoiler|said crush's very unfortunate death}}. The fandom's reaction to the scene? [[Squick]], [[Memetic Mutation]], [[The Scrappy|Hate]].

** There's a sort-of running joke about her being interrupted by Nunnally: it's questionable who's luckier, [[Harmful to Minors|Nunnally because she's blind]] or [[Caught ~~With~~ Your Pants Down|Nina because Nunnally's blind.]] Otherwise, Nunnally would probably need [[Brain Bleach]] in the form of her brother [[Laser-Guided Amnesia|Geassing her into forgetting it]].

** There's a sort-of running joke about her being interrupted by Nunnally: it's questionable who's luckier, [[Harmful to Minors|Nunnally because she's blind]] or [[Caught with Your Pants Down|Nina because Nunnally's blind.]] Otherwise, Nunnally would probably need [[Brain Bleach]] in the form of her brother [[Laser-Guided Amnesia|Geassing her into forgetting it]].

* Satou from ''[[Welcome to The NHK]]'' is shown to reach for a tissue every now and then, and after discovering that [[The Internet Is for Porn|there's lolicon on the internet]], he is shown surrounded by empty tissue boxes. In the manga, this goes further -- his porn obsession eventually leads him to build a massive customized rig just for pornography, complete with cavernous hard-drive, several monitors, high-fidelity headphones and a leather massage chair. ''In his parents' spare bedroom''. Needless to say, [[Caught ~~With~~ Your Pants Down|it does not end well]].

* Satou from ''[[Welcome to The NHK]]'' is shown to reach for a tissue every now and then, and after discovering that [[The Internet Is for Porn|there's lolicon on the internet]], he is shown surrounded by empty tissue boxes. In the manga, this goes further -- his porn obsession eventually leads him to build a massive customized rig just for pornography, complete with cavernous hard-drive, several monitors, high-fidelity headphones and a leather massage chair. ''In his parents' spare bedroom''. Needless to say, [[Caught with Your Pants Down|it does not end well]].

* In ''[[Gankutsuou]]'', Héloise is shown masturbating while thinking about the Count and the poison ring he gave her. [[Squick]].

* ''[[Yami to Boushi To Hon no Tabibito]]'' has one of the only scenes where this isn't played for [[Squick]], comedy, or both. Hazuki gets herself off twice thinking of her best friend/adoptive older sister Hatsumi, whom she is madly in love with. The second time is more subtle, but she does it ''on Hatsumi's bed''...

* ''[[Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito]]'' has one of the only scenes where this isn't played for [[Squick]], comedy, or both. Hazuki gets herself off twice thinking of her best friend/adoptive older sister Hatsumi, whom she is madly in love with. The second time is more subtle, but she does it ''on Hatsumi's bed''...

* Both husband Makoto and wife Yura are shown to do this in ''[[Futari Ecchi]]''. Makoto does it out of frustration at not having been able to have sex with Yura for several days. Yura does it on her sister's advice to teach herself "what feels good."

* Farnese in ''[[Berserk]]'' is shown to be turned on by people burning alive to the point where she spends some "alone time" thinking very hard about that. ''Berserk'' is like that.

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== Comics ==

* Mentioned several times in the comic series ''[[~~Y the Last Man|~~Y: The Last Man]]'' seeing as virtually the entire male population has died. One women casually mentions the difficulty of finding replacement AA batteries for vibrators, and titular last man Yorick tells of one extensive 'session' where the government installed open-air showers outside a hotel he was staying in.

* Mentioned several times in the comic series ''[[Y: The Last Man]]'' seeing as virtually the entire male population has died. One women casually mentions the difficulty of finding replacement AA batteries for vibrators, and titular last man Yorick tells of one extensive 'session' where the government installed open-air showers outside a hotel he was staying in.

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* The 1994 film ''Spanking the Monkey'' used masturbation as a thematic and symbolic plot device (as the title suggests). The young protagonist's sexual frustration as he cares for his convalescing mother is compounded by the fact that he never gets to successfully masturbate.

* Lester in ''[[American Beauty]]'' is obviously depressed, and more than once mentions masturbation in contrast with all he hates about his life. His unloving [[Stepford Smiler]] wife catches him in bed doing what he calls [[Hurricane of Euphemisms|"choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying 'hi' to my monster"]] because it's [[Sexless Marriage|literally been years since she's deigned to have sex with him]]. The one time in the film they get close to, um, getting close, she stops it because she's afraid he'll spill beer all over her precious, precious furniture.

* The feature film ''[[~~Serenity (Film)|~~Serenity]]'' (based on the ''[[Firefly]]'' series) has a scene where a frustrated Kaylee gripes that "going on a year now, I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!" Much to the dismay of most of the crew, who were standing near her when she mentioned this:

* The feature film ''[[Serenity]]'' (based on the ''[[Firefly]]'' series) has a scene where a frustrated Kaylee gripes that "going on a year now, I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!" Much to the dismay of most of the crew, who were standing near her when she mentioned this:

{{quote| '''Mal:''' Oh, GOD! I can't know that!

'''Jayne:''' I could stand to hear a little more. }}

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* ''[[Black Swan]]'': Somewhat averted in that Nina's time alone is suggested to her by her ballet instructor (yes, it's [[Surreal Horror|that kind of movie]]), but Nina clearly has massive psychosexual issues.

* In ''[[A Serbian Film]]'', the main character's brother talks to the main character's wife about being single, and then takes a trip to the little boy's room to (predictably) masturbate. It doesn't help that at another part in the movie, a porn director talks about how the main reason porn is popular is so people can "cum into a napkin what they couldn't into a woman."

* In one scene in ''[[A Clockwork Orange (~~Film~~)|A Clockwork Orange]]'', [[Villain Protagonist]] Alex masturbates in his room after a night of "ultra-violence" while listening to [[Soundtrack Dissonance|Beethoven's Ninth Symphony]], staring at his sacrilegious decor, and fantasizing about violent and satanic images.

* In one scene in ''[[A Clockwork Orange (film)|A Clockwork Orange]]'', [[Villain Protagonist]] Alex masturbates in his room after a night of "ultra-violence" while listening to [[Soundtrack Dissonance|Beethoven's Ninth Symphony]], staring at his sacrilegious decor, and fantasizing about violent and satanic images.

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* There are constant jokes at Richard's expense in ''[[Bottom]]'' to show how pathetic he is (he is, in fact, a wanker). He even called his autobiography: "Richard Richard: I Did it My Way. On My Own. Quite a Lot. Now I've got a Sore Hand."

* There's an EXTREMELY uncomfortable example of female masturbation in season two ''[[Skins]]''. Maxxie's stalker Sketch breaks into his house, sneaks into his room, ''fondles and smells his underwear'', and proceeds to masturbate on his bed. When Maxxie comes home unexpectedly early, she quickly hides under his bed -- where she ''stays for the rest of the night''.

* In a ''[[30 Rock ~~(TV)~~|Thirty Rock]]'' episode, Frank mentions he has plans for Valentine's night. When asked with who, he replies "nobody".

* In a ''[[30 Rock|Thirty Rock]]'' episode, Frank mentions he has plans for Valentine's night. When asked with who, he replies "nobody".

* ''[[~~Firefly (TV)|~~Firefly]]'': "I'll be in my bunk." It must be *ahem* hard for Jayne, being trapped on that ship with Inara, Kaylee, Zoe, and River, and not able to touch any of them.

* ''[[Firefly]]'': "I'll be in my bunk." It must be *ahem* hard for Jayne, being trapped on that ship with Inara, Kaylee, Zoe, and River, and not able to touch any of them.

* ''[[True Blood]]''. After drinking vampiric blood to heal herself, Sookie has her libido amped up, and she begins to stroke herself at night. In a later scene she's seen rubbing herself through her shorts to satisfy her lust.

** Jason however, has a much worse run in with vampire blood. He overdosed, and he didn't need healing, so it all went to his libido. He jacked off until he developed a sore on his hand, and finally had to go to a doctor to deflate his penis.

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{{quote| '''Mr. Fisher:''' Can I please keep my job if I promise never ever to have sex again with anyone, which, by the way, suits me temperamentally? I happen to be very self-sufficient.}}

* Near the end of his dementia-ridden father's life, Mark Greene on ''[[ER]]'' had to stop his dad from engaging in public masturbation.

* [[Played for Laughs]] in ''[[~~The Big Bang Theory (TV)|~~The Big Bang Theory]]'' when Howard, after seeing how good his robotic hand was and how real it felt while massaging his back, decided to gave the hand another use. That was until it jammed.

* [[Played for Laughs]] in ''[[The Big Bang Theory]]'' when Howard, after seeing how good his robotic hand was and how real it felt while massaging his back, decided to gave the hand another use. That was until it jammed.

* One of the ''[[Alien Nation]]'' TV movies makes a reference to Jocelyn Elders' firing when Susan worries that Buck doesn't have an "outlet" and wants George to talk to him about not letting his fluid build up. The Tectonese are more frank about sex than most Americans, so Susan doesn't see what all the fuss was about.

* ''[[Brass Eye]]'' reported a story about American senator Dale Lee Aggsby "Extracted his genitalia at a rally and manipulated them to issue" "Several quarts of reproductive mucous were expelled rhythmically into the crowd". It seemed he suffered from Prestodidwick's Congina, a rare blood disorder which causes involuntary erective pressure.

* The crew of ''[[~~Red Dwarf (TV)|~~Red Dwarf]]'' generally don't have much choice about this, there seldom being any women around:

* The crew of ''[[Red Dwarf]]'' generally don't have much choice about this, there seldom being any women around:

{{quote| ** '''Cat:''' You mean after all this, I still haven't got a date? Damn! Another year when I have to send a Valentine's card to my hand!

** '''Rimmer''' ({{spoiler|''On learning he has (briefly) become alive again''}}): Kryten! Unpack Rachel, and get out the puncture repair kit!

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'''Rimmer:''' Well, why break the habit of a lifetime? }}

* In ''[[Mad Men]]'', Betty Draper leans against a running washing machine and orgasms while fantasizing about a door-to-door salesman who had visited the day before. (She's sexually frustrated because her husband is rarely home, and when he is he often claims to be too tired. The real reason? Like any self-respecting early-'60s executive, he has [[Your Cheating Heart|multiple girls on the side]].)

* This was combined with [[A Man Is Not a Virgin]] into a [[Running Gag]] for Bud Bundy and his pathetic, increasingly desperate attempts to get laid on ''[[Married ~~With~~ Children]]''. Getting caught doing this in the library resulted in an episode-long [[Crowning Moment of Funny]] in the ninth season.

* This was combined with [[A Man Is Not a Virgin]] into a [[Running Gag]] for Bud Bundy and his pathetic, increasingly desperate attempts to get laid on ''[[Married... with Children]]''. Getting caught doing this in the library resulted in an episode-long [[Crowning Moment of Funny]] in the ninth season.

** Bud isn't the only one. Peg has made countless references to having to finish sex herself after Al falls asleep, as well as using an obscene amount of batteries...

** And her various shower-heads...

** During the time between Steve and Jefferson, Marcy made a reference to "doing her taxes". Which is odd, as she has shown more than once that she can "get a refund" without even being touched.

* ''[[~~Better Off Ted (TV)|~~Better Off Ted]]'''s obligatory sexual harassment episode nods at this:

* ''[[Better Off Ted]]'''s obligatory sexual harassment episode nods at this:

{{quote| '''Veronica''': Sheila claims you propositioned her for a threesome.

'''Ted''': Veronica, I work full-time and I have a eight-year-old daughter. I don't even have the energy for a onesome. }}

* In ''[[Oz]]'' Alvarez once masturbates in his prison cell and Ryan O'Reilly, a [[Stalker ~~With~~ a Crush]] [[Yandere]] for Dr. Nathan, does this while thinking of her.

* In ''[[Oz]]'' Alvarez once masturbates in his prison cell and Ryan O'Reilly, a [[Stalker with a Crush]] [[Yandere]] for Dr. Nathan, does this while thinking of her.

== Music ==

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* ''[[Grand Theft Auto|Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'' has a gag where one of the Brit junkies starts "having an appointment with Dr. Hans Jerkov" in Madd Dogg's studio.

** It's a sort of running gag--the guy is apparently addicted to it.

* In ''[[Fate ~~Stay Night~~]]'', one of the side effects of {{spoiler|Zouken's magical parasite worms}} on Sakura is increased sexual frustration, which she tries to cope with through masturbation. It doesn't work, but she [[Intimate Healing|moves on to Shirou]] [[Good People Have Good Sex|soon enough]]. Another is Shirou's erotic dream about Tohsaka in the same route. It's implied that this is something related to Rider and Sakura when we see Tohsaka's eyes, as they are the same as Rider's real ones. Also, he awakens with the same drained feeling as when Sakura has been leeching his magical energy. However, it's merely played as something to embarrass Shirou and never comes up again after talking to Tohsaka the next day.

* In ''[[Fate/stay night]]'', one of the side effects of {{spoiler|Zouken's magical parasite worms}} on Sakura is increased sexual frustration, which she tries to cope with through masturbation. It doesn't work, but she [[Intimate Healing|moves on to Shirou]] [[Good People Have Good Sex|soon enough]]. Another is Shirou's erotic dream about Tohsaka in the same route. It's implied that this is something related to Rider and Sakura when we see Tohsaka's eyes, as they are the same as Rider's real ones. Also, he awakens with the same drained feeling as when Sakura has been leeching his magical energy. However, it's merely played as something to embarrass Shirou and never comes up again after talking to Tohsaka the next day.

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** Unbeknowst to him, Gary's activity is used as "background music" for Matt and Dillon's lovemaking.

** Zii, watching all-male pornography while calling DiDi's name. She does not notice the contradiction there.

* There's a weird example (which isn't actually masturbation) in ''[[~~El Goonish Shive (Webcomic)|~~El Goonish Shive]]''. Elliot completely fails at fantasizing about women (Imaginary Bikini Model: I'm someone's daughter, you ''bastard''), which his girlfriend Sarah and her friend Susan discuss at length. Susan thinks he should be praised for his restraint, while Sarah thinks it isn't healthy.

* There's a weird example (which isn't actually masturbation) in ''[[El Goonish Shive]]''. Elliot completely fails at fantasizing about women (Imaginary Bikini Model: I'm someone's daughter, you ''bastard''), which his girlfriend Sarah and her friend Susan discuss at length. Susan thinks he should be praised for his restraint, while Sarah thinks it isn't healthy.

{{quote| '''Sarah:''' Don't you remember [[Gender Bender|what its like being a teenage boy]]?

'''Susan:''' I try not to. }}

* In ''[[Jet Dream (~~Webcomic~~)|Jet Dream]]'', while Marlene claims a lack of interest in romance of any sort after [[Gender Bender|her sex change]], she also makes several veiled references to using "the science of vibration" or her "Jet Dream Vibrostick" to deal with her new feminine urges.

* In ''[[Jet Dream (webcomic)|Jet Dream]]'', while Marlene claims a lack of interest in romance of any sort after [[Gender Bender|her sex change]], she also makes several veiled references to using "the science of vibration" or her "Jet Dream Vibrostick" to deal with her new feminine urges.

* ''[[Girls ~~With~~ Slingshots]]'' does this a lot with Hazel during the early part of the strip, emphasizing the fact that she hasn't had sex for a while.

* ''[[Girls with Slingshots]]'' does this a lot with Hazel during the early part of the strip, emphasizing the fact that she hasn't had sex for a while.

== Web Original ==

* Mackenzie, the protagonist of ''[[Tales of MU]]'', masturbates in her sleep due to her nature as a repressed [[Horny Devil]].

* Happens on a single occasion in ''[[Survival of the Fittest]]'' (it's of the 'sexually frustrated') variety. The character, Beth Vandelinder was subsequently [[Caught ~~With~~ Your Pants Down|Caught With Her Pants Down]].

* Happens on a single occasion in ''[[Survival of the Fittest]]'' (it's of the 'sexually frustrated') variety. The character, Beth Vandelinder was subsequently [[Caught with Your Pants Down|Caught With Her Pants Down]].

== Western Animation ==

* An episode of ''[[~~Moral Orel (Animation)|~~Moral Orel]]'' deals with Reverend Putty's private shame over his masturbation.

* An episode of ''[[Moral Orel]]'' deals with Reverend Putty's private shame over his masturbation.

** ''God's Baker'' runs with it to disturbing extremes.

* The whole plot in the ''[[~~American Dad (Animation)|~~American Dad]]'' episode "A Smith In Hand". Stan tries to teach Steve to sublimate the "urge" with arts and crafts, like he does. However, Stan [[Groin Attack|gets hurt]] and the doctor prescribes an ointment; in the process of applying it, he accidentally masturbates and, realizing for the first time in his life how good it feels, gets addicted

* The whole plot in the ''[[American Dad]]'' episode "A Smith In Hand". Stan tries to teach Steve to sublimate the "urge" with arts and crafts, like he does. However, Stan [[Groin Attack|gets hurt]] and the doctor prescribes an ointment; in the process of applying it, he accidentally masturbates and, realizing for the first time in his life how good it feels, gets addicted

** Another mention in "The People vs. Martin Sugar" when Jeff is forced to quit smoking pot cited it's for his medical condition. Jeff hides in different places and get caught by Francine.

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* Lawrence Waterhouse from Neal Stephenson's ''[[Cryptonomicon]]'' spends one chapter complaining to himself about how his sex drive is inversely connected to his math skills. He comes up with a technological euphemism: "Manual Override".

** There are even ''graphs''.

* While Liir is in the Household Guard in ''[[Wicked (~~Literature~~)|Son of a Witch]]'', it is noted that he doesn't masturbate... much.

* While Liir is in the Household Guard in ''[[Wicked (novel)|Son of a Witch]]'', it is noted that he doesn't masturbate... much.

* On the other hand masturbating during guard duty is strongly discouraged in the novel ''[[Beaufort]]'' by Ron Leshem, about an Israeli Defense Force outpost in southern Lebanon.

* Pops up in ''[[Outlander|Lord John And The Succubus]]'', where one officer uses the euphemism "boxing the Jesuit", and their Austrian hosts don't get it. Lord John has to explain by way of hand gesture.

* Mentioned in ''[[All Quiet ~~On the Western Front (Literature)|All Quiet On~~ the Western Front]]''. Notably, how all the impoverished Russian POWs had even stopped masturbating.

* Mentioned in ''[[All Quiet on the Western Front]]''. Notably, how all the impoverished Russian POWs had even stopped masturbating.

* Mentioned in the novel ''[[Flight of the Intruder]]''

{{quote| Seaman: "I've beat off so many times in the shower that I get a hardon every time it rains!"}}

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== Film ==

* A character in ''[[Full Metal Jacket]]'' was [[Exactly What It Says On the Tin|nicknamed "Hand Job"]] for his habit of masturbating at least ten times a day. It's also an example of the "mental health/sexual frustration" variety of masturbation in that the other recruits referred to him as a "crazy fucker" and that it ultimately got him scheduled for a Section 8 discharge<ref>a military discharge for those deemed mentally unfit for service</ref> when he was caught doing it in the waiting room after being sent to see a Navy psychologist, and he ultimately would have gotten shipped out if not for him {{spoiler|getting killed by a VC booby trap}}.

* A character in ''[[Full Metal Jacket]]'' was [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|nicknamed "Hand Job"]] for his habit of masturbating at least ten times a day. It's also an example of the "mental health/sexual frustration" variety of masturbation in that the other recruits referred to him as a "crazy fucker" and that it ultimately got him scheduled for a Section 8 discharge<ref>a military discharge for those deemed mentally unfit for service</ref> when he was caught doing it in the waiting room after being sent to see a Navy psychologist, and he ultimately would have gotten shipped out if not for him {{spoiler|getting killed by a VC booby trap}}.

* Not exactly the "military setting" described above, but: In ''[[The Right Stuff]]'', the astronauts have to provide a sperm sample. The [[Battleaxe Nurse]] tells them, "the best results seem to be from fantasization, followed by masturbation, followed by ejaculation." So they head to the bathroom stalls, and the [[Semper Fi|Marine]] starts humming ''From the Halls of Montezuma'', and the Air Force guy joins in with ''Off We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder''...

* Starinski experiences [[Death By Sex]] shortly after helping himself to a dead German soldier's porn stash and proceeding to, well, help himself in ''[[Deathwatch 2002 ~~(Film~~)|Deathwatch]]''.

* Starinski experiences [[Death by Sex]] shortly after helping himself to a dead German soldier's porn stash and proceeding to, well, help himself in ''[[Deathwatch (2002 film)|Deathwatch]]''.

* ''[[Jarhead]]''. See the quote in the entry under "Film"

* ''[[Survival of the Dead]]''. The female member of the National Guard unit masturbates openly in front of her fellow soldiers, because there [[Sorry, I'm Gay|aren't any women available]].

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* In the fourth episodes of the second season of [[Rozen Maiden]], the dolls said, that Jun is in the toilet, reading "magazines".

* The manga ''[[Onani Master Kurosawa]]''. In translation: Kurosawa, the Master of Masturbating.

* ''[[Pokémon (~~Anime~~)|Pokémon]]'' fanfic communities refer to this as "Handshipping". On one board, there was an actual flame war between the Handshippers and the Otherhandshippers.

* ''[[Pokémon (anime)|Pokémon]]'' fanfic communities refer to this as "Handshipping". On one board, there was an actual flame war between the Handshippers and the Otherhandshippers.

* In the manga ''[[Koe De Oshigoto]]'', Kanna is scolded for ''not'' doing this after taking home some examples of eroge... for training purposes, of course. What makes it funny is that she managed to... achieve the same effect without actually involving her hands or any physical stimulation whatsoever. Everyone else, like Motoki, are all straighter cases, and they use their hands.

* In the manga ''[[Koe de Oshigoto!]]'', Kanna is scolded for ''not'' doing this after taking home some examples of eroge... for training purposes, of course. What makes it funny is that she managed to... achieve the same effect without actually involving her hands or any physical stimulation whatsoever. Everyone else, like Motoki, are all straighter cases, and they use their hands.

* ''[[B Gata H Kei]]'' features both female and male leads doing this; [[Bowdlerise|more often in the manga]], and more often the girl. She states that there are two types of masturbation: the "good" kind, doing it to relieve frustration, and the "bad" kind, doing it out of boredom. She is then shown making a tally of the dozens of times she's done the "bad" kind in the last few weeks.

* ''[[Panty ~~and~~ Stocking ~~With~~ Garterbelt ~~(Anime)~~|Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt]]'' devotes a whole episode to a tissue shortage that is disastrous because no one can masturbate. Turns out that the tissue shortage was caused by {{spoiler|the Ghosts of wasted sperm.}}

* ''[[Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt|Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt]]'' devotes a whole episode to a tissue shortage that is disastrous because no one can masturbate. Turns out that the tissue shortage was caused by {{spoiler|the Ghosts of wasted sperm.}}

* Because ''[[Genshiken]]'' is a manga/anime about [[Otaku]], it features the characters reading or talking about [[Doujinshi]]. Most [[Doujinshi]] are erotic, and the series alludes (or more than alludes) to several of the main characters (male and female alike), ah, getting use out of them for the sake of comedy.

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== [[Fanfic]] ==

* In the dreaded [[~~My Immortal (Fanfic)|~~My Immortal]], Lupin is caught "masticating" in the bath to a video that he and Snape took of Ebony. Later on she says that he "MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)". ([[Ask a Stupid Question|Yes.]])

* In the dreaded [[My Immortal]], Lupin is caught "masticating" in the bath to a video that he and Snape took of Ebony. Later on she says that he "MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)". ([[Ask a Stupid Question|Yes.]])

* ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' lemon fic ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3043801/1 A Glass Of Wine]'' has Asuka calming an anxious and embarrassed Hikari that "taking care of herself" will get rid of her wet dreams since such dreams are indicators that her brain is craving for an orgasm. Hikari is initially against the idea (no surprise there, knowing her character) until Asuka finishes the job herself. For the cast's most innocent girl.

{{quote| '''Asuka''': "Now if your smart you'll take doctor Soryu's prescription and apply liberally until the symptoms go away."}}

* [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3070350/1/Another_Mans_Cage This fic] by Dawn Felagund. This troper was inspired to rename one of the characters Johnny Appleseed.

* A humourous fanfic by the creators of ''[[~~Bag Enders (Fanfic)|~~Bag Enders]]'' featured an adolescent Pippin being upset because his mother had told him kittens would die if he masturbated and he'd found a dead kitten in the garden and been convinced she was right. Merry gave him a kitten so he could watch it and stop if the kitten started looking ill to prove it wasn't true. Unfortunately, Pippin couldn't bring himself to do it with the kitten staring at him, so Merry ended up spending several evenings sitting in the next room and watching the kitten for him.

* A humourous fanfic by the creators of ''[[Bag Enders]]'' featured an adolescent Pippin being upset because his mother had told him kittens would die if he masturbated and he'd found a dead kitten in the garden and been convinced she was right. Merry gave him a kitten so he could watch it and stop if the kitten started looking ill to prove it wasn't true. Unfortunately, Pippin couldn't bring himself to do it with the kitten staring at him, so Merry ended up spending several evenings sitting in the next room and watching the kitten for him.

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'''Victor:''' (interested) What did he say?

'''Igor:''' "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?" }}

* In ''[[Idiocracy]]'', pornography is now common on normal TV. The channel is fittingly named ''[[Exactly What It Says On the Tin|The Masturbation Channel]]''

* In ''[[Idiocracy]]'', pornography is now common on normal TV. The channel is fittingly named ''[[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|The Masturbation Channel]]''

{{quote| '''Frito:''' *Joe knocks at his door* Go away, I'm 'bating!}}

* Comes up in ''[[~~Theres~~ Something About Mary]]''. Mary tells her friends she doesn't need a man, she has a vibrator. Later, Ted's friend encourages him to "spank the monkey" before his big date. This doesn't lead to the main character getting caught with his pants down, but to the movie's signature hair gel scene.

* Comes up in ''[[There's Something About Mary]]''. Mary tells her friends she doesn't need a man, she has a vibrator. Later, Ted's friend encourages him to "spank the monkey" before his big date. This doesn't lead to the main character getting caught with his pants down, but to the movie's signature hair gel scene.

* In ''[[Being There]]'', Eve tries to seduce [[Chance the Gardener]]; when he tells her "I like to watch" - he's referring to television - she proceeds to pleasure herself on the floor.

* In ''[[Secretary]]'', [[Maggie Gyllenhaal]]'s character indulges herself while thinking of her sadomasochistic relationship with her boss. This causes many male audience members to later follow suit...

* In ''[[Terror Firmer]]'', the protagonist, Jennifer masturbates while picturing [[Villainous Crossdresser|Casey]] shirtless, flexing his arms at the foot of her bed. Later, [[Squick|she learns the truth]]...

* There is much pitch-black comedy in the viciously depressing Korean movie ''[[Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance]]'' (from the director of [[~~Old Boy~~]]). Of note here is a scene where four young men are seen masturbating together, their ears pressed to the wall to hear what they believe to be the moaning of a woman nearing climax. What they are hearing is in fact groans of pain from a young woman suffering from kidney failure.

* There is much pitch-black comedy in the viciously depressing Korean movie ''[[Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance]]'' (from the director of [[Oldboy]]). Of note here is a scene where four young men are seen masturbating together, their ears pressed to the wall to hear what they believe to be the moaning of a woman nearing climax. What they are hearing is in fact groans of pain from a young woman suffering from kidney failure.

* In ''[[Zack and Miri Make A Porno]]'', the two title characters have a discussion about male versus female masturbation:

* In ''[[Zack and Miri Make a Porno]]'', the two title characters have a discussion about male versus female masturbation:

{{quote| '''Zack Brown:''' How come you get to be all [[Buck Rogers]], having sex in the 25th century with Twiki and Dr. Theopolis, and I'm stuck with a bottle of Jergen's in the bathroom?

'''Miriam Linky:''' Holy Bejeesus, tell me you don't use my Jergen's to whack it in our bathroom.

'''Zack Brown:''' No, you know what I do? I light a bunch of candles, and I sprawl out on my sheets, and I listen to [[Sting]]. No, I'm a guy. You give me two Popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to fuck it, like a filthy [[MacGyver]]! }}

* In ''Kinsey'', several people study a video of a woman masturbating to learn more about human sexuality.

* In ''[[~~Human Nature (Film)|~~Human Nature]]'', a man masturbates in front of another person, which is meant to show that he is unaware of society's taboos.

* In ''[[Human Nature]]'', a man masturbates in front of another person, which is meant to show that he is unaware of society's taboos.

* Very brief scene in ''L.I.E.'', in which we see Howie in bed--and only from the neck up, mostly--but it's obvious what he's doing.

* In [[Woody Allen]]'s 19th-Century Russian Lit parody ''[[Love and Death]]'', his character meets a gorgeous countess. After a room-wrecking bout of sex she compliments his abilities - he shrugs and says "Thanks...I practice a lot when I'm alone."

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'''Volare:''' I was dancing professionally!

'''Flakfizer:''' Whatever you call it. Flogging the carrot, polishing the cuestick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel... }}

* ''[[~~Crazy Stupid Love (Film)|~~Crazy Stupid Love]]'': Robbie does it while thinking of Jessica his babysitter that he loves.

* ''[[Crazy Stupid Love]]'': Robbie does it while thinking of Jessica his babysitter that he loves.

* In the [[Biopic]] ''[[The Runaways]]'', Cherie Curie tries to masturbate, but complains that she cannot feel anything. [[Joan Jett]] suggests she think of the hottest guy she knows, but it doesn't work. Joan realizes what the problem is (that Cherie is a lesbian but doesn't know it yet because she's a virgin) and suggests she think of [[Farrah Fawcett]]. It works.

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* Mother's Younger Brother does this in E.L. Doctorow's ''[[Ragtime]]''.

* Rabbit and his wife do this together in John Updike's ''Rabbit Redux''.

* "Guts", the infamous first story from ''[[~~Haunted 2005 (Literature)|~~Haunted 2005]] deals with stories of masturbation gone horribly, horribly wrong. Considering [[Chuck Palahniuk|who it's written by]], it's not really a surprise.

* "Guts", the infamous first story from ''[[Haunted 2005]] deals with stories of masturbation gone horribly, horribly wrong. Considering [[Chuck Palahniuk|who it's written by]], it's not really a surprise.

* A female example in the [[Night Huntress]] books. Cat is just beginning to accept her own sexuality. A few hours after making out with her love interest, she takes a bath and accidentally touches herself. Then she does it on purpose, and ''then'' she starts to get really into it.

* A weird version in ''[[The Red Tent]]''. In the time that the book takes place, when girls get their first period their female relatives have a ceremony for them and uses a goddess statue to break their hymen. The main character Dinah actually has an orgasm.

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== Live-Action TV ==

* Tuvok rather guiltily uses a holodeck when he Ponn Farrs in ''[[Star Trek Voyager]]''. He balked at first and had to be talked into it. He did not go blind.

* Tuvok rather guiltily uses a holodeck when he Ponn Farrs in ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]''. He balked at first and had to be talked into it. He did not go blind.

** It was not mentioned when Reginald Barclay got into trouble for using the holodeck with simulated other members of the crew who (in his holodeck simulation) practically worshiped Barclay. It was merely mentioned that it was wrong of him to simulate them, but no mention was made of the obvious potential there.

** In "Descent", Data mentions that he's ''tried'' to do this as he's attempted to explore his emotions, but to no effect.

* ''[[Seinfeld]]'' infamously built an entire episode around a bet over who could go the longest without masturbating, [[Not Using the Z Word|without actually using "masturbate" or any of its slang terms]]. That episode, "The Contest" made popular the meme "[[Unusual Euphemism|Master of your own domain]]".

* ''[[~~Farscape (TV)|~~Farscape]]''. In "Sons and Lovers" Aeryn Sun suggests sex would be a practical means of relieving the [[Unresolved Sexual Tension]] between her and John Crichton, without all this weird human emotional-attachment stuff he's into.

* ''[[Farscape]]''. In "Sons and Lovers" Aeryn Sun suggests sex would be a practical means of relieving the [[Unresolved Sexual Tension]] between her and John Crichton, without all this weird human emotional-attachment stuff he's into.

{{quote| '''John''': "You know what? I got two hands (makes masturbating gesture) I can alternate, I can release all the tension I want. I don't need your charity."

'''Aeryn''': "And I don't need your emotions. But we can have sex if you want." }}

** In "Look At The Princess", John is pointing Braca's gun at different parts of his own body. Including, at one point, his hand:

** In "Coup By Clam", Noranti decides to use the vibrating apparatus she's working with for something it was not originally intended for. This left D'Argo, who was linked to her at this point, in an awkward situation. An odd case of [[A Date ~~With~~ Rosie Palms]] by proxy.

** In "Coup By Clam", Noranti decides to use the vibrating apparatus she's working with for something it was not originally intended for. This left D'Argo, who was linked to her at this point, in an awkward situation. An odd case of [[A Date with Rosie Palms]] by proxy.

* Chewbacca's dad Itchy is clearly cracking one off to Diahann Caroll during [[The Star Wars Holiday Special]]. [[Squick|While his grandson and daughter in law are in the other room]].

* A subplot of an episode of ''[[Black Books]]'' features Fran attempting to get off on the Shipping Forecast (no, not ''that'' kind of ''[[Shipping]]'') because she finds the announcer's voice irresistibly sexy.

* Discussed and shown every so often in ''[[Sex and ~~The~~ City]]'', one of the more memorable instances being Charlotte's "addiction" to the Rabbit vibrator, necessitating an "intervention" by her friends.

* Discussed and shown every so often in ''[[Sex and the City]]'', one of the more memorable instances being Charlotte's "addiction" to the Rabbit vibrator, necessitating an "intervention" by her friends.

* Comes up quite a few times on ''[[Scrubs]]'', most notably J.D. hurting his "me-time hand".

** Also when J.D. says to Turk "Why don't you take care of yourself?" Turk responds he's only ever done that twice in his life. J.D. says the same but his monologue adds "If by "in my life" you mean "since dinner".

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** Elliot also discovers the joy of masturbating in one of the earlier episodes (thanks to Carla's advice about washing machines).

* A reference was [[Executive Meddling|explicitly removed]] from an episode of [[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]: during the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwAOc4g3K-g#t=2m15s "All-England Summarize Proust" competition], Graham Chapman lists his favorite hobbies as "strangling animals, golf and masturbation", which forces the host to kick him out seeing as 'golf's not very popular around here'. The BBC forced them to remove the word from reruns, despite objections from the cast. "Everybody masturbates!" Terry Jones apparently retorted to the head of quality control. "Don't you masturbate, sir?" Unfortunately that didn't work, and most home video copies contain the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx8Qc6Lv_7w#t=2m58s clumsily edited version] (though notice the subtitles include 'masturbation')

* From a Hoedown on ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway? ~~(TV)~~|Whose Line Is It Anyway]]'':

* From a Hoedown on ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway?|Whose Line Is It Anyway]]'':

{{quote| '''Drew:''' Let me tell you, ever since I was thirteen / You've given me the best lovin' that I've ever seen. / Let me tell ya something, that I know you can't stand / I've been cheating on you with my other hand!}}

* [[House (TV)|House]] has on multiple occasions made snarky jokes about viewing porn in his office and masturbating. Given most of the walls are made of glass one hopes he is joking. Being that he's House, who knows.

* [[House (TV series)|House]] has on multiple occasions made snarky jokes about viewing porn in his office and masturbating. Given most of the walls are made of glass one hopes he is joking. Being that he's House, who knows.

** Appears to be true, and not just a House snark. At least we know from Cameron that he keeps his porn in the second desk drawer.

** There's also a rather squicky clinic scene where House deduces that a toddler's symptoms are result of this.

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* The UK's Channel 4 attempted as series of documentaries under the banner "Wank Week". [[Moral Guardians|This was met with the inevitable response]].

* [[Spaced|and suddenly - phht! Bingo! You wake up. And you're lying there sweating, desperately looking for the tissue which you ''know'' is still in your pocket, and the remote control which is ''somewhere'' on the floor, and it's like walking in on yourself, you know? It's just like "What you doing?"]]

* Mal alludes to masturbation in the ''[[~~Firefly (TV)|~~Firefly]]'' episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds," where he comments that "no one but me's taken hold of my plow in a good long while."

* Mal alludes to masturbation in the ''[[Firefly]]'' episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds," where he comments that "no one but me's taken hold of my plow in a good long while."

** Though she doesn't do anything visible, River also has an intense reaction to Zoe and Wash making out on the bridge in "Objects In Space," and, in the [[Big Damn Movie]], she spies on {{spoiler|Simon and Kaylee}} making love in the engine room.

*** "Ceiling River is watching you procreate."

* In one episode of ''[[~~CSI (TV)|~~CSI]]'', a 12-year-old girl is found to be sexually abused and her brother is suspected when his semen is found on her nightdress. He gets interrogated harshly but can't stick up for himself until Nick quietly takes him to the side and tells him that there's nothing wrong with masturbation. The brother then admits that the nightdress was the closest thing he could grab to clean up after himself but that he was too ashamed to tell the police this. {{spoiler|It was her dad, who had also raped her.}}

* In one episode of ''[[CSI]]'', a 12-year-old girl is found to be sexually abused and her brother is suspected when his semen is found on her nightdress. He gets interrogated harshly but can't stick up for himself until Nick quietly takes him to the side and tells him that there's nothing wrong with masturbation. The brother then admits that the nightdress was the closest thing he could grab to clean up after himself but that he was too ashamed to tell the police this. {{spoiler|It was her dad, who had also raped her.}}

** In a more serious example, a peeping tom's activities kept escalating, which, according to Catherine, would eventually lead to breaking-and-entering and rape (they did.) The clue to this was that, while earlier he had limited himself to peeping and stalking, they suddenly found evidence of him masturbating at the scene.

* Used in the episode "Out on a Limb" of ''[[Arrested Development (TV)|Arrested Development]]''. Lindsay notes that she has hit 3 climaxes in one night plenty of times. A flashback clip shows she is by herself during such

* Used in the episode "Out on a Limb" of ''[[Arrested Development (TV series)|Arrested Development]]''. Lindsay notes that she has hit 3 climaxes in one night plenty of times. A flashback clip shows she is by herself during such

* Nancy Grace asked what a caller would think the buzzing sound is on her phone as compared to Scott Peterson's when she covered his murder trial. One of the lawyers suggested that the caller would think it's her vibrator.

* It's referenced a few times on ''[[Supernatural (TV)|Supernatural]]''. The most blatant example comes in "I Believe The Children Are Our Future", where, due to {{spoiler|the influence of the Antichrist}}, Dean winds up with hairy palms. His explanation? "Got bored. That nurse was hot."

* It's referenced a few times on ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]''. The most blatant example comes in "I Believe The Children Are Our Future", where, due to {{spoiler|the influence of the Antichrist}}, Dean winds up with hairy palms. His explanation? "Got bored. That nurse was hot."

* A ''[[That Mitchell and Webb Look]]'' sketch features a pair of self-employed work-from-home types who meet at a party and, while their wives are getting the drinks, admit to each other that they've yet to fully overcome the 'have a lot of covert wanks while my wife is out the house at work' issue.

* In a third season episode of ''[[Entourage]]'', Johnny Drama is filming his first scene in a new television pilot. However, as the director keeps making his monologue longer and more difficult, Drama starts to have a panic attack. However, remembering advice that Turtle gave him earlier, he proceeds to release some stress. Of course Drama being [[Butt Monkey|Drama]], he forgets to turn off his microphone and the whole studio crew hears him

* The 10-year-old Sally Draper in ''[[Mad Men]]'' is caught masturbating (fully clothed) to [[The Man ~~From~~ ~~UNCLE~~|Ilya Kuryakin]] while at a sleepover at a friend's house. Neither the friend's mother (who caught her) nor Betty was amused. It's possible she simply didn't know what she was doing, though - it's not uncommon for children younger than her to realize that touching yourself in certain places feels good, and it's likely the sexual education classes of the early 1960s wouldn't have helped to clear anything up...

* The 10-year-old Sally Draper in ''[[Mad Men]]'' is caught masturbating (fully clothed) to [[The Man from U.N.C.L.E.|Ilya Kuryakin]] while at a sleepover at a friend's house. Neither the friend's mother (who caught her) nor Betty was amused. It's possible she simply didn't know what she was doing, though - it's not uncommon for children younger than her to realize that touching yourself in certain places feels good, and it's likely the sexual education classes of the early 1960s wouldn't have helped to clear anything up...

** In an earlier episode, the team try to find a way to advertise something that claims to be a way of losing weight, but really is actually a device for female masturbation. (Or, 'a way of simulating a man, without the man'.) When Peggy first tries it on and realizes what it is she is shocked, but by the end of the episode, she is seen looking at it speculatively and pulling it out of the box.

* On ''[[The Colbert Report]]'' Stephen reacts to political candidate Christine O'Donnell's claim that masturbation is a form of adultery by marrying his hand, just to be safe. In a later episode he's shocked to realize that that might make him gay because he's been "doing it with a dude."

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** As is their song "Crackerman". ''Slightly'' more subtle than "Unglued" but still painfully obvious in the first stanza.

* The Australian band The Divinyls has a song titled "I Touch Myself"; you can guess what that implies.

* Ska band Desorden Publico has a song, "Manuela", who is half [[Intercourse ~~With~~ You]], half this trope, down to the title (who is a transparent allusion to the way "Rosie Palms" is known in Spanish). To add controversy to the mix, part of the lyrics are taken from real letters that the Liberator Simon Bolivar sent to his lover Manuela Saenz.

* Ska band Desorden Publico has a song, "Manuela", who is half [[Intercourse with You]], half this trope, down to the title (who is a transparent allusion to the way "Rosie Palms" is known in Spanish). To add controversy to the mix, part of the lyrics are taken from real letters that the Liberator Simon Bolivar sent to his lover Manuela Saenz.

* Mexican Hard Rock band Cuca also has a song called "Manuela". Translated loosely, the first verse has the singer bragging that because of his ...habit, he "is a being incapable of being manipulated, because he's self-sufficient, and even believes he's intelligent"

* There's an old Cuban song [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBnG5DVi4x0 "Manuela no me pelea"] ("Manuela doesn't fight with me"), about a man who lives a wonderful life because he can party late and his wife Manuela doesn't get mad and fight him. Anyone who doesn't get this--whether or not they speak Spanish--is officially living under a rock.

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* "It's Only Me (the Wizard of Magicland)" by Barenaked Ladies.

* "Later Tonight" by the [[Pet Shop Boys]] is subtler than some examples here but still unambiguous.

* In one of his racier lyrics, [[Weird Al Yankovic]]'s "One More Minute" contains the line: "I'm stranded all alone at the gas station of love and I have to use the self-service pump".

* In one of his racier lyrics, [["Weird Al" Yankovic]]'s "One More Minute" contains the line: "I'm stranded all alone at the gas station of love and I have to use the self-service pump".

* Implied at the end of Big Star's "Back of a Car".

* Kunt and the Gang's appropriately-titled "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UbApLud2Po Have a Wank]".

* Masturbation is pretty much the signature subject of British comedian Ivor Biggun, who has at LEAST half a dozen songs about it such as "I'm a Wanker", "The Wanker's Rock and Roll", and "Wanking Your Blues Away".

* Green Day's "Longview". "Bite my lip and close my eyes, take me away to paradise...", "When masturbation's lost its fun..." , "some say quit or I'll go blind", and "I'm so damn bored I'm going blind", in reference to the myth.

* A song from the [[Green Day]] side-project The Network is called "Right Hand-A-Rama" and is about [[Exactly What It Says On the Tin|exactly what you think it's about.]]

* A song from the [[Green Day]] side-project The Network is called "Right Hand-A-Rama" and is about [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|exactly what you think it's about.]]

* [[Madonna]]'s song "Secret" is clearly about this: "Happiness lies in your own ''hand''..."

* [[~~Aerosmith (Music)|~~Aerosmith]]'s "Shake the Rattlesnake".

* [[Aerosmith]]'s "Shake the Rattlesnake".

* "Zwitter" by Rammstein is about a hermaphrodite who is in love with hirself, and even claims to be able to make hirself conceive...

* "Menage a Moi" by Chick McGee of [http://www.bobandtom.com The Bob And Tom Show].

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* "Part of Me" by [[Tool]].

** "Thinking of You" by [[A Perfect Circle]].

* The [[~~Gorillaz (Music)|~~Gorillaz]] song "DARE" has been interpreted this way, although (like many Gorillaz songs) it's unclear whether it was actually meant to mean anything in particular.

* The [[Gorillaz]] song "DARE" has been interpreted this way, although (like many Gorillaz songs) it's unclear whether it was actually meant to mean anything in particular.

* [[The Decemberists]]' "[[Billy Liar]]." "[[Unusual Euphemism|Decked by a Japanese geisha with a garland of pearls]]," indeed.

* [[Bawdy Song]] "Masturbation", to the tune of "Alouette":

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* Mr.Bungle has "Girls Of Porn" a funky song about the world of porn and all it's crazy little genres, obviously [[Played for Laughs]]. Then they have the song "Dead Goon" a song about a loner kid who dies while participating in a round of auto-erotic asphyxiation in his mother's panties and the family walking.

* "Pink Thing" by XTC ("When I stroke your head I feel a hundred heartbeats high")

* "You're Makin' Me High" by Toni Braxton is mostly [[Intercourse ~~With~~ You]], but the song begins with "I'll always think of you inside of my private thoughts/I can imagine you touching my private parts/With just the thought of you/I can't help but touch myself." It doesn't help that she starts moaning in the background towards the end of the song.

* "You're Makin' Me High" by Toni Braxton is mostly [[Intercourse with You]], but the song begins with "I'll always think of you inside of my private thoughts/I can imagine you touching my private parts/With just the thought of you/I can't help but touch myself." It doesn't help that she starts moaning in the background towards the end of the song.

* Joan Jett's "I Still Dream About You" says "It's all I can do to keep my hands of my pie when I think about the things we've done."

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== Professional Wrestling ==

* Referenced in a zing by [[CM Punk]] in his [[Mystery Science Theater 3000 ~~(TV)~~|MST3K]]-like commentary of ''[[~~WWE (Wrestling)|~~WWE]] NXT'' Season 3 ([[Ms. Fanservice|the Rookie Divas season]]) during a promo challenge when one of the Divas talks about the old "view people in their underwear" public speaking trick.

* Referenced in a zing by [[CM Punk]] in his [[Mystery Science Theater 3000|MST3K]]-like commentary of ''[[WWE]] NXT'' Season 3 ([[Ms. Fanservice|the Rookie Divas season]]) during a promo challenge when one of the Divas talks about the old "view people in their underwear" public speaking trick.

{{quote| '''[[CM Punk]]''': You know, it's funny, [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|I'm actually not wearing pants, and that's how I watch NXT every week.]]}}

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* In an optional (and hysterical) scene, [[Metal Gear Solid|Snake]] can call Otacon on his CODEC while playing... with his "Solid Snake" during the Tanker Mission. Raiden can be indirectly accused of doing this later.

** Snake's response removes all doubt. "You were watching?!"

* In ''[[~~Disgaea 2 Cursed Memories (Video Game)|~~Disgaea 2 Cursed Memories]]'', Tink mentions that old habits (taking long showers) die hard, even though he is a frog.

* In ''[[Disgaea 2 Cursed Memories]]'', Tink mentions that old habits (taking long showers) die hard, even though he is a frog.

** Lovely Rod: Makes a nice present for your girlfriend.

* In [[Dragon Age II]], Isabela notes that since she's usually the only female on her ship and doesn't typically let her crewmen touch her, she makes sure they get plenty of "alone time."

** And in the first game, [[Boisterous Bruiser|Oghren]] remarks that he deals with "tension" by "polishing his sword" and asks Alistair if he does the same; when Alistair reacts with shocked embarrassment ("I think that's private!" and "You do it in the open, where other people can see you? That's disgusting!") Oghren pretends to have meant the comment innocently.

*** Considering he has a similar conversation with Wynn about Alistair 'twirling his pike' (it turns out he was being serious), it's possible he actually wasn't making any implications.

* In [[No More Heroes 2]], pay attention to Travis after Henry wakes up from his dream fight with Mimmy. He's sitting in his chair jerking off, and freaks when Henry wakes up. It gets even funnier when you hear the Bizarre Jelly theme in the background.

* In [[No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle]], pay attention to Travis after Henry wakes up from his dream fight with Mimmy. He's sitting in his chair jerking off, and freaks when Henry wakes up. It gets even funnier when you hear the Bizarre Jelly theme in the background.

== Web Comics ==

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** And there's "[http://nonadventures.com/2007/07/07/hardware-conflict/ Lil' Pinky]" the robot spy. The places he has been... the wonders he has seen...

* In ''[[Sabrina Online]]'', the title character gets walked in on by her roommate during a "hands-on" cybersex session with her (as yet unseen) online boyfriend, "RC". (Whom Amy dubs "Sticky Fingers").

* In ''[[~~Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki (Webcomic)|~~Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki]]'', as Yuuki is coming to grips with his [[Gender Bender|Gender Bent]] status, (s)he finds himself getting heated up by his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. After a brief self-[[Squick]] over this, he decides that a quick [[Man, I Feel Like a Woman|"hand-check"]] couldn't hurt. [http://www.sgvy.com/archives/Edda1/Issue5/Page3.html It swiftly turns not-so-quick.]

* In ''[[Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki]]'', as Yuuki is coming to grips with his [[Gender Bender|Gender Bent]] status, (s)he finds himself getting heated up by his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. After a brief self-[[Squick]] over this, he decides that a quick [[Man, I Feel Like a Woman|"hand-check"]] couldn't hurt. [http://www.sgvy.com/archives/Edda1/Issue5/Page3.html It swiftly turns not-so-quick.]

{{quote| '''Caption:''' An Hour Later.

'''Hermod''': Yuuki! I'm hungry. Where's the food?

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* Graphically overheard in [http://wapsisquare.com/comic/me-time/ this] [[Wapsi Square]] comic.

* One of Davan's previous girlfriends in [[Something Positive]] nearly broke up with him because she was disturbed that he masturbated. They compromised; he could still masturbate, but only if she was doing all the work.

* ''[[Girls ~~With~~ Slingshots]]'' has a very open view on masturbation, and treats it as normal behaviour. Several strips revolve around the female characters buying or using vibrators.

* ''[[Girls with Slingshots]]'' has a very open view on masturbation, and treats it as normal behaviour. Several strips revolve around the female characters buying or using vibrators.

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* The Flash series ''Pulp Phantom'' had the "Vincent and Mia" scene, but with Darth Maul and Queen Amidala instead. Maul is taking his time in the bathroom and talks into the mirror:

{{quote| '''Maul:''' You're going to say 'good night' and walk out the door. Door leads to ship, ship leads to home, home leads to jerking off... (grins) Jerking off leads to the Dark Side.}}

* ''[[~~Red vs. Blue (Machinima)|~~Red vs. Blue]]''. When Tex returns as a ghost and mentions that she's beeen watching the Blue team, Tucker awkwardly asks if she had been watching ''all'' the time, while nervously glancing at a rock with the words: "Tucker's rock! Keep out!" painted on. Tex then says he ought to be ashamed of himself.

* ''[[Red vs. Blue]]''. When Tex returns as a ghost and mentions that she's beeen watching the Blue team, Tucker awkwardly asks if she had been watching ''all'' the time, while nervously glancing at a rock with the words: "Tucker's rock! Keep out!" painted on. Tex then says he ought to be ashamed of himself.

** In ''Recreation'', this exchange occurs during an argument:

{{quote| '''Grif:''' You fucked a rock!

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* An episode of ''[[Robot Chicken]]'' had Zelda refuse to have sex with Link after saving her from Gannon. So Link says to his hand, "Then I will save you, my princess."

{{quote| Also, You won't believe you're eating Ron Jeremy's Butter!

As well as, [http://video.adultswim.com/robot-chicken/mumm-ra-is-mrs-mumbletipeg.html Mrs. Doubtfire meets Thundercats], which ended with the [[Caught ~~With~~ Your Pants Down]] bit.

As well as, [http://video.adultswim.com/robot-chicken/mumm-ra-is-mrs-mumbletipeg.html Mrs. Doubtfire meets Thundercats], which ended with the [[Caught with Your Pants Down]] bit.

When you wake up in the morning, what's the first thing that you see? It's your morning wood! "Hello, I'm Bruce Campbell, and I can't start my day by waxing my morning wood." }}

* Played with (heehee) in ''[[Re Boot]]'' on one occasion.