A Song of Ice and Fire/Funny: Difference between revisions

* Tyrion Lannister is practically a walking, drinking, wenching Crowning Moment of Funny.

** "Tyrion found it disheartening to realize so many strangers were eager to kill him. Perhaps this had not been such a clever plan after all."

'''Tyrion''': In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty. }}

* The death of {{spoiler|Tywin Lannister}} in A Storm of Swords, {{spoiler|proving he does not, in fact, shit gold}}

* Renly's completely deadpan reaction to Stannis confronting him and demanding that he recognize him as king. "No one wants you for their king. Sorry."

* Cersei and Tyrion sit down to talk:

'''Cersei:''' [[Armor-Piercing Slap|*slap*]]<br />

'''Tyrion:''' You think I'm as blind as our father? Altough it's pretty unfair that you open your legs for one brother, [[Refuge in Vulgarity|and not for the other.]]<br />

* Theon shamelessly seduces a married woman, who turns out to be {{spoiler|his sister Asha.}} He's not pleased.

** His reaction to his mute squire (who watched the whole thing) smirking at him is hilarious:

* After Cersei heard some good news from Tyrion and in response kissed him on the cheek:

** Actually, this was after Tyrion saw Cersei crying.

* Bronn's ever more jaw-droppingly brazen rise to power.

*** There is a reason why this moment appears on the [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] page as well as this one.

* [[Celibate Hero|Jon]] breaks his oath and beds Ygritte. He swears upon himself that it won’t happen again.

It happened twice again that night and once in the morning. }}

* This exchange between Jorah and Dany in ''A Game of Thrones'':

'''Jorah:''' ''*snort*'' Viserys couldn't sweep a stable with ten thousand brooms. }}

* "Jon shooed the raven off [[Named Weapons|Longclaw]]. The bird hopped back to Mormont’s shoulder, where it promptly shat."

* The Night Watch sets up straw dummies as bait for wildling arrows, and name them after different members. Pyp explains to [[The Eeyore|Dolorous Edd]] that the straw man named for him had been leading the count until the last sortie, whereupon another "man" got three arrows to take the lead.

** He continues by complaining that the man the winner was named for was lucky because he completely missed the rocks when he fell off the bridge with an axe in his head.

** Dolorous Edd's dialogue, every word of it, can be considered a [[Crowning Moment of Funny]] personified.

** When complaning about the cold and thinking of jumping into a pot of boiling water:

'''Edd''': It's an awful thing to find a brother dead. You'd have need of a drink as well, Lord Snow. }}

** In A Storm of Swords, Pyp offers Edd's name as a joke nomination for Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, and is the only one to vote for him. When the contenders are asked to give their "platform speeches", as it were:

::The next time the votes are counted, he has ''two''.

* Tyrion challenges Haldon to a cyvasse game, having lost several times already, and Haldon says that the day Tyrion beats him is the day turtles swim out his arse. Cut to after the game, when someone asks when Haldon is:

** The only thing that makes that sweeter, is that it's implied Tyrion was deliberately giving him false confidence, since Tyrion offers to bet secrets right before the game.

* The out of nowhere [[Shout-Out]] to ''[[Monty Python and The Holy Grail]]'' in "A Dance with Dragons," where a member of the Windblown says true Unsullied "don't break and run if you fart in their general direction."

* Jaime surprises Jonos Bracken in the middle of sex, and one of the darkest fantasy series ever briefly turns into a classical French farce. "And how fares your lady wife?"

** Even funnier is Jaime's [[Deadpan Snarker|deadpan snark]] response to Bracken's greeting.

'''Jaime:''' And I fear I've interrupted yours. }}

* The bit where Dany walks in on her handmaidens Irri and Jhiqui arguing about bloodrider Rakharo while the scribe Missandei just sits there reading a scroll, totally uninterested.

* When Jaime, Cleos Frey and Brienne are journeying away from Riverrun, and they come across an inn. Also doubles as a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] for Jaime Lannister:

'''Crossbowman:''' [[Animal Motif|Lion, Wolf or Fish?]]<br />

'''Jaime:''' [[Casual Danger Dialogue|We'd hoped for capon.]] }}

** Later on in the conversation:

'''Jaime:''' Killed some crossbowmen. }}

** Later on during their journey, there's another double one when the party's attacked by outlaw archers. Jaime rides straight at them to scatter them and is halfway there before it occurs to him that "the wench had better follow before they realise they're being charged by an unarmed man in chains".

* When Ser Corliss Penny wonders aloud whether an entire army has ever frozen to death in a winter storm, it only serves to make the Northmen present burst out in laughter.

* Hodor often livens up Bran chapters, aided by Martin's narration. Standouts include the line " 'Hodor', Hodor said doubtfully" and when Bran tells him to stop hodoring.

** There's also this gem in a conversation about Coldhands:

“Hodor?” said Hodor. }}

** It's not really funny that he gets beaten up badly for it, but after Theon takes Winterfell, he makes a speech to everyone there and basically asks if anyone has objections to his being in charge now. Hodor angrily shouts out "[[Pokémon-Speak|Hodorhodorhodor!]]"

* Jaime's relentless [[Shut Up, Kirk|trolling]] (there's no other word for it, really) of Cat Stark when she interrogates him in Riverrun:

'''[[Blood Knight|Jaime Lannister]]:''' [[Shut Up, Kirk|No?]] Then surely it was to have your pleasure of me? They say widows grow [[Close to Home|weary of their empty beds.]] We of the [[Knight in Shining Armor|Kingsguard]] [[Celibate Hero|vow never to wed]], but I suppose I could still service you if that's what you need. Pour us some of that wine and slip out of that gown and we'll see if I'm still up to it. }}

* At the end of ''A Clash of Kings'', the victors/survivors of the Battle of the Blackwater are being honored, the Lannisters and the court are in their finery, and Tywin enters in all his magnificence to greet Joffrey... and then his horse shits on the carpet in front of Joffrey and Joffrey has to step around it to greet him. The spirit of the event was kind of ruined there.

** In ''A Storm of Swords'', Joffrey calls Lord Tywin a coward. Tywin and Kevan send him to bed without any supper, [[Refuge in Audacity|and drug him so he will sleep and not disturb them.]]

* Tyrion, bidding on himself, when he is being auctioned off, as a slave:

* Victarion Greyjoy's interesting priorities:

* Arya meets the Kindly Man, the apparent head of the Faceless Men and asks him if he can teach her to change her face. He [[Troll|tells her to puff her cheeks and stick out her tongue]], and when she does, tells her, "There, your face has changed."

* Oberyn Martell talks to Tyrion about his [[Dead Little Sister]] Elia and says that he was as close to her as Jaime is to Cersei. Tyrion thinks to himself, "[[Brother-Sister Incest|Gods, I hope not]]". A quite funny moment in an otherwise sad scene.

* In a nice bit of Black Comedy in AFFC, Cercei's bounty on Tyrion's head results in several unscrupulous individuals murdering random dwarfs and at least one child. After the umpteenth wrong head being brought to her, Cersei angrily asks Lady Merryweather just how many dwarfs could there possibly be. Lady Merryweather replies, "Fewer than there were before."

* Quentyn Martell and Gerris Drinkwater's banter.

'''Gerris:''' [[Book Dumb|It didn't have pictures.]] }}

* Pyp mocking Melisandre at dinner, thereby making the men of the Night's Watch chortle.

* During a Clash of Kings, Jojen has a prophetic dream about Winterfell flooded by the sea and several of its inhabitants drowning, a metaphor for {{spoiler|the Ironborn invading and sacking it.}} [[Cassandra Truth|Only one guard believes it]], and well...

* Patchface's ramblings about life underwater suddenly become much funnier when you remember a famous song...

''Under the sea'' }}

* Arya and the kindly man get one in the house of black and white.

** She proceeds to {{spoiler|grab for the worm and try to eat it, only for it to dissolve in her hands as he takes off the face. The kindly man is amused. "No one has ever tried to eat my worm before."}}

* Arya's advice to Lommy Greenhands when he expresses his fear of being eaten by wolves. His constant talk of yielding to Ser Amory Lorch instead of having fought and lost annoys their little band to no end. And so...

'''Arya:''' Yield. }}

* In ''A Feast For Crows'', Jaime attempts to follow in his father's footsteps, and intimidate Edmure Tully by having a minstrel play "The Rains of Castamere". Edmure reacts appropriately (Jaime actually thinks it's an over-reaction), but rather than being spooked by the song, which is usually the case, Edmure demonstrates [[Skewed Priorities]], as his reaction is because the minstrel Jaime had play it once wrote a derisive song about Edmure being unable to [[The Loins Sleep Tonight|get it up]].

* While Theon's chapters in ''A Dance With Dragons'' aren't exactly a laugh riot, there's a funny line in the middle of one of the chapters, where he's thinking about [[Camp Follower|camp followers]] [[Unusual Euphemism|euphemistically]] called "washerwomen". "... Some of them even did some washing."

** Likewise:

Pia was often seeing things in the buttery. [[Really Gets Around|Usually they were men.]] }}

* From a group of mummers trying to put on ''Seven Drunken Oarsmen'' after two of their troupers have left:

* The whole concept of Skagos is kind of funny. Unicorns are typically associated with the most idealistic of fantasy, which makes it amusing (and typical of the series) that the location where unicorns are found is a [[Place Worse Than Death]] the thought of which scares even jaded Westerosi. Also, the few details about unicorns shown so far, suggest they [[Killer Rabbit|aren't the friendliest of creatures]].

** made even funnier with the Speculation that Ned's mother was maybe from there

* Also from ''A Dance with Dragons'', Wyman Manderly's denies having ordered the murder of Little Walder Frey and retorts to his accuser, also a Frey:

* Arya describing her group participating in combat- " "In his chainmail shirt with a sword in his hand, Gendry looked almost a man grown, and dangerous. [[Shaped Like Itself|Hot Pie looked like Hot Pie]]."

* Stannis' put down to Jon in ''A Dance With Dragons''- “You haggle like a crone with a codfish, Lord Snow. Did Ned Stark father you on some fishwife?”

* Rather dark humour, but just after Jon executes Janos Slynt, Olaf asks if he can have Slynt's boots.

* Roose Bolton's most lighthearted line:

* The entirety of Sansa's dinner with Margaery and her family members, where Margaery and her grandmother try to find out what Joffrey is really like, all while Butterbumps, the Tyrell family's fool sings "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" at increasingly ridiculous volumes.

* Sansa's proclamation that she wants to marry Joffrey.

* Tyrion defending himself against Catelyn's accusations on the way to the Vale leads to this exchange:

'''Tyrion:''' Why does a bear shit in the woods? }}

* During their negotiations, Renly reaches inside his coat. Stannis and everyone around him thinks that he's pulling a weapon... he has a peach, which he offers to Stannis. Made even funnier after {{spoiler|Renly's death}}, when Stannis is still trying to figure out what the peach represented.