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[[File:achewood_789.jpg|frame]]
'''''Achewood''''' is a critically acclaimed and very adult comic by Chris Onstad, originally about the adventures of his stuffed animals (straight-man Teodor, refined Cornelius, sweet-natured young Philippe and violent boozer Lyle), which expanded to include, and was eventually taken over by, the neighborhood cats (ideas man Ray, and clinically depressed Roast Beef).
'''The main characters are:'''
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Can be read [http://achewood.com/ here]. If you'd like to skip the comic's [[Early Installment Weirdness]], start [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03122002 here] instead. For the [[Wham! Episode]] Cartilage Head storyline, read [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09132005 here]. And for ''the Great Outdoor Fight'', which was published as a standalone hardcover comic by Dark Horse, start [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01112006 here] (and read on - the storyline takes a while to get going).
The strip went on [http://s.assetbar.com/one_asset?b=Scfd4f5a32442ff25864a8357965235a41&a=S846 a hiatus of sorts]{{Dead link}} for much of 2011, but seems to have finally [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11232011 returned]. It was completed on Christmas 2016, with a total of 1,762 strips.
{{tropelist}}
* [[Aborted Arc]]: The "High School" arc. The only resolution is Roast Beef talking Nice Pete out of the whole High School thing; we don't know what happened to Lurquill -- and few people mind. We will now never know if Téodor chugged Nathan's giant hog. (Though from positioning and expressions, the most likely answer is "yup".)
** Also from much earlier is the "Possessed Banjo" arc, which was cut short when Onstad's daughter was born.
** More recently the arc with Ray being concussed and delusional about his identity.
* [[Accentuate the Negative]]: Roast Beef, <s>whenever people try to cheer him up</s> ''always''.
* [[The Alcoholic]]: Lyle.
{{quote|"Why can't I wake up with the gin already in me?"}}
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** Cornelius Bear, having won the first annual Badass Games. Could've won it in his sleep, but didn't, as a courtesy to the other participants. See also [[Cool Old Guy]].
* [[Badass Bystander]]: Spongebath and Emeril. They seem to know everybody and everything happening in the Achewood universe and how to immediately deal with whatever problems come up, though they mainly stand in the background and expound on bizarre conspiracy theories.
* [[Berserk Button]]: Roast Beef is normally pretty calm and cool, and sure, he gets angry from time to time like anyone else - but gods help you if you skip out on his [https://web.archive.org/web/20101218102748/http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuahQNnb9 Moussaka]. Being tied up is about the only excuse you have.
** 'You diss my dog, you fluff my hog'
** If Ray thinks you've hurt his [[Heterosexual Life Partners|dogg]] Roast Beef, [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03082006 he will pound you into cowboy sauce].
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* [[Chick Tracts]]: Referenced and deflated [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08192008 here].
* [[Chuck Cunningham Syndrome]]: Lie-Bot, Lyle, Little Nephew, Vlad, Todd and Pat have all been MIA for some time.
* [[Comically Missing the Point]]: Ray and Roast Beef are in Roast Beef's room discussing nudie mags, and Ray talks about seeing one where a girl had particularly large endowments. They're interrupted by, out in the main room, the arrival of Roast Beef's (apparent) estranged father (who he'd never met), who loudly demands to see his children... before being shot dead by Roast Beef's mother. Ray observes Roast Beef's horror... and tries to assure him that the bit about the huge boobs wasn't true, he just made it up to try and impress him...
* [[Comic Trio]]: Eventually heavily subverted in the form of Ray, Pat and Roast Beef.
* [[Corrupt Corporate Executive]]: Ray is a largely benign version of this. While he is effectively above the law due to his wealth and connections, he doesn't use this for evil. (Mischief, maybe, and maybe the occasional grey area, but not evil.)
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: Ray becomes this when [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01272005 stoned].
* [[Cluster F-Bomb]] / [[Berserk Button]]: [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07132006 Roast Beef had no idea ] [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07142006 Leo was sensitive about his thighs.]
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* [[Embarrassing First Name]]: Roast Beef was born "Cassandra".
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: While "evil" might be stretching it (just slightly) for Pat, even he won't be a [[Jerkass]] to Ray's mother.
* [[Fiction 500]]: Ray already came from a background that was (at least) mildly wealthy, but he then had an album that went platinum... dozens of times. Since then he's established his own record label, had various business ventures (some more successful than others), but never really had anything happen to hurt him financially. He effectively has infinite money.
* [[Flanderization]]: A rare case where the character in question didn't have much personality BEFORE the single trait was accentuated; Roast Beef was just one of the "dirtiest dudes in town" who didn't talk much (when he did his personality didn't seem too much different from Ray's.) It wasn't until [[Growing the Beard|The Famous Party Arc]] that he developed the persona of the put-upon, clinically depressed programmer from [[Hilariously Abusive Childhood|Circumstances]].
* [[Flat Character]]: Part of the reason why Lyle moved so quickly into the background from the original main four cast members. His "drunken angry guy" schtick was all he really had. (Although, interestingly, he's given backstory and ''some'' growth.)
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* [[Gender Blender Name]]: Cassandra "Roast Beef" Kazenzakis.
* [[Genius Ditz]]: Philippe, usually possessing the mindset of an extremely hyperactive and naive five-year old, has several moments of extreme savantry, such as being adept at polyglot palindromes, "leading a frog through a makeshift obstacle course using only a small tatter of yellow madras," and becoming a successful, [[Stephen Wright]] esque comedian. This tendency both amazes and troubles Cornelius.
** Ray is something of the same... he's almost completely incapable of telling a bad idea from a good idea. And yet he's able to make most of those ideas at least relatively successful, whichever they are.
* [[Gratuitous German]] / [[Gratuitous Spanish]]: Periodically there will be entire strips done in Spanish or German (Heute auf Deutsch/Hoy en Español) with no explanation why.
* [[Heterosexual Life Partners]]: Ray and Roast Beef, but their phrase is Knuckleheads from Old Times.
* [[Hilariously Abusive Childhood]]: Roast Beef's seesaws between this and just plain tragic.
* [[Inn Between the Worlds]]: The Friendly's restaurant in Hell is used by several characters to escape back to Earth, and it's suggested that every Friendly's on Earth similarly contains a portal to Hell.
* [[Intercourse with You]]: Or, more specifically, with [https://web.archive.org/web/20101018000237/http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuajHGWWR ya' face.]
* [[Jerkass]]: Pat. He's so insufferable that even his friends only tolerate him at best - with the exception of serial killer Nice Pete, who seems to be impressed at the sheer force of Pat's personality.
* [[Jerk with a Heart of Gold]]: Ray, [[Heterosexual Life Partners|especially where Roast Beef is concerned.]]
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* [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast]]: [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022009 Balthazar Murder Stonefield Accalum and all his brethren.]
* [[Noodle Incident]]: Averted in the already-nightmarish Transfer Station arc with Zell and Cory.
** In the Great Outdoor Fight arc, something happened in Ted's past that made him need to [https://web.archive.org/web/20110831170228/http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2dV42f "stuff his trousers"]
* [[Not Allowed to Grow Up]]: Apparently, Philippe.▼
* [[Old Shame]]: Ray pays hush money to cover up the existence of a series of embarrassing videotapes of him {{spoiler|as an underground hip-hop dancer.}} Subverted with Lyle, who has done porn.
* [[Only Known by Their Nickname]]: Roast Beef, obviously (and who can blame him). His brother also goes almost exclusively by Showbiz. Ray's nephew is pretty much only called Little Nephew (actually Charles Smuckles).
* [[Painting the Medium]]: <small>Dang you know how Roast Beef uses hell of a small font to talk in with his speech balloon all crowded like the Dickens plus the dude has got [[No Punctuation Period]] so his sentences run like they are on rails</small>
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** There's a pair of strips that show snapshots of Beef, Ray, Téodor and Philippe from the comic's beginning through to 2052 or so; Téodor apparently dies before Ray, somehow, and Philippe remains 5 forever.
* [[The Runt At the End]]: Provides the page image for this trope.
* [[Sarcasm Failure]]: This happens to Ray a lot, as someone will suggest something that seems particularly stupid, and Ray will think it's genius. At least half the time, Ray turns out to be right.
* [[Satellite Character]]: Sondra, Ray's mother. Her life as portrayed in the strip revolves completely around Ray. Heck, just look at her [http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuacHchcp flowchart]; not one branch deals with anything other than her son.▼
** A more subtle (and faintly sad) version comes during one flashback: a young Roast Beef disdainfully replies to Ray's suggestion of coming to stay with him with "Oh, what, I'll just live with you? Like I'll be adopted by you or something?" Ray thinks to himself that he doesn't see any problem with that, as they have plenty of rooms and plenty of food.
▲* [[Satellite Character]]: Sondra, Ray's mother. Her life as portrayed in the strip revolves completely around Ray. Heck, just look at her [https://web.archive.org/web/20101115190912/http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuacHchcp flowchart]; not one branch deals with anything other than her son.
* [[Schedule Slip]]: Big-time, especially in 2009-2010. January 2010 was completely blank due to Onstad moving, and the Summer of 2010 has gone weeks without update sometimes. It's partially made up for by paying for the Premium services, which give ''epic'' short stories and in-depth personal reference from the characters. This is also partially because Onstad has depression (which is not rad). It may have something to do with living in Portland
* [[Secret Test of Character]]: The Cartilage Head arc. {{spoiler|He proved himself a coward who would desert a dying man.}} ''Both'' {{spoiler|Ray and Roast Beef}} have run-ins with him, and both are technically cowards, albeit for different reasons.
* [[Seinfeldian Conversation]]: In spades.
* [[Serious Business]]: Being a breast man earns you free karate lessons, a Corvette ignition ringtone, discounts on candy, and a [https://web.archive.org/web/20110315095107/http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua4PPdb2 secret menu at Taco Bell]. Also, a special, breast man-specific drink... that requires you telling the barman a password {{spoiler|entropy9}}.
{{quote|'''Ray:''' Man, our drink has a PASSWORD? That is JAMES BOND IN A TOWEL!}}
* [[Take a Third Option]]: At the very end of the Great Outdoor Fight, only Ray and Roast Beef are left. Ray can either A) beat Roast Beef until he [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03172006 "can't crawl, see or cry"] or B) not do anything (which means they'll both get killed by the Jeeps). They go with C) {{spoiler|hijack a Jeep, demolish the Fight, and then ''set fire to it''.}}
* [[The Slacker]]: Téodor is an accomplished cook and has a few other talents besides, but he always sputters out when he tries to seriously apply them.
* [[Spoiled Sweet]]: Ray, sort of. He's not ''that'' sweet, but his privileged upbringing seems to have made him quite generous with his money and possessions, rather than the other way around.
* [[They Do]]: {{spoiler|Roast Beef and Molly}}
* [[Took a Level In Badass]]: For the first half of the Great Outdoor Fight arc, we ''know'' than Ray is a pretender, a claimer of false descent, a coward who would desert a dying man. And then another sees right through Ray, beats him to the ground and claims his army - and Ray ''rips the man's face off'' and claims his rightful place as the Son of Rodney.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Web Comics]]
[[Category:Completed Web Comics]]
[[Category:Web Comics of the 2000s]]
[[Category:Web Comics of the 2010s]]
[[Category:Webcomics Long Runners]]
[[Category:Embellished Webcomics]]
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▲[[Category:Webcomic]]
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