All Jews Are Ashkenazi/Quotes: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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{{quote|''On a Jewish holiday in Tokyo, Harry Siegel, far, far from his home in Staten Island, asked the Japanese hotel clerk, "Excuse me. Would you happen to know if there is a Jewish synagogue here in Tokyo?"''<br />
{{quote|''On a Jewish holiday in Tokyo, Harry Siegel, far, far from his home in Staten Island, asked the Japanese hotel clerk, "Excuse me. Would you happen to know if there is a Jewish synagogue here in Tokyo?"''
''"Synagogue?" replied the clerk. "Ah, so Siegel-san. Ah, yes! Is synagogue! Leave hotel, walk down street two blocks, turn left -- banzai! -- is synagogue!"''<br />
''"Synagogue?" replied the clerk. "Ah, so Siegel-san. Ah, yes! Is synagogue! Leave hotel, walk down street two blocks, turn left -- banzai! -- is synagogue!"''
''So Mr. Siegel left the hotel, followed the clerk's directions, and there -- lo and behold -- was a synagogue. He entered. All of the worshipers were Japanese, as was the rabbi, and the Purim services had begun. Mr. Siegel happily joined in. When the services were over, he went up to the rabbi and said, "My name is Siegel. I'm from America. I just want to tell you, Rabbi, how very happy I was to be with you tonight."''<br />
''So Mr. Siegel left the hotel, followed the clerk's directions, and there -- lo and behold -- was a synagogue. He entered. All of the worshipers were Japanese, as was the rabbi, and the Purim services had begun. Mr. Siegel happily joined in. When the services were over, he went up to the rabbi and said, "My name is Siegel. I'm from America. I just want to tell you, Rabbi, how very happy I was to be with you tonight."''
''The Japanese rabbi beamed. "Is honor! But excuse, you Jewish?"''<br />
''The Japanese rabbi beamed. "Is honor! But excuse, you Jewish?"''
''"Certainly" replied Mr. Siegel.''<br />
''"Certainly" replied Mr. Siegel.''
''"That's funny," said the rabbi. "You don't look Jewish."''|'''Traditional'''}}
''"That's funny," said the rabbi. "You don't look Jewish."''|'''Traditional'''}}


{{quote|''Actual headline: "Chief Rabbi: Buffalo Meat Kosher." Chief Rabbi [[You No Take Candle|bring big good news]] to all Jewish Indians.''|'''Fark.com''', 5/10/06}}
{{quote|''Actual headline: "Chief Rabbi: Buffalo Meat Kosher." Chief Rabbi [[You No Take Candle|bring big good news]] to all Jewish Indians.''|'''[[Fark|Fark.com]]''', 5/10/06}}


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Latest revision as of 19:31, 12 December 2014


On a Jewish holiday in Tokyo, Harry Siegel, far, far from his home in Staten Island, asked the Japanese hotel clerk, "Excuse me. Would you happen to know if there is a Jewish synagogue here in Tokyo?"
"Synagogue?" replied the clerk. "Ah, so Siegel-san. Ah, yes! Is synagogue! Leave hotel, walk down street two blocks, turn left -- banzai! -- is synagogue!"
So Mr. Siegel left the hotel, followed the clerk's directions, and there -- lo and behold -- was a synagogue. He entered. All of the worshipers were Japanese, as was the rabbi, and the Purim services had begun. Mr. Siegel happily joined in. When the services were over, he went up to the rabbi and said, "My name is Siegel. I'm from America. I just want to tell you, Rabbi, how very happy I was to be with you tonight."
The Japanese rabbi beamed. "Is honor! But excuse, you Jewish?"
"Certainly" replied Mr. Siegel.

"That's funny," said the rabbi. "You don't look Jewish."
Traditional
Actual headline: "Chief Rabbi: Buffalo Meat Kosher." Chief Rabbi bring big good news to all Jewish Indians.
Fark.com, 5/10/06