Automoderated users, Autopatrolled users, Bureaucrats, Comment administrators, Confirmed users, Moderators, Rollbackers, Administrators
213,685
edits
All the Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows: Difference between revisions
All the Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows (view source)
Revision as of 16:42, 11 May 2021
, 3 years agono edit summary
mNo edit summary |
No edit summary |
||
| (11 intermediate revisions by 4 users not shown) | |||
Line 1:
{{
Extensions to the [[Evil Overlord List]]. They're written by the editors here, so don't expect sanity.
Sanity may not be expected, but remember... '''[[Dangerously Genre Savvy|DANGEROUSLY GENRE SAVVY!]]''' (Seriously, I got a short way down and had to come up here to add this. Apparently, many tropers are not as genre aware as they think they are.)
Be sure to read [[Jack
Also, don't just add things villains have done that annoy you unless they're actually counterproductive to the [[Evil Scheme]].
Line 82:
** I will always use protection, and all the harem members will be on the pill. The last thing I need is bastard offspring trying to kill me and take my place. Or syphilis. That's no fun, either.
** Better yet - I just [[Take a Third Option|won't have a harem at all.]] Anything that requires this much effort to keep safe just isn't worth it.
***Still better I will give a lifetime stipend to the children of every woman in my harem. I will also marry at least one woman from each [[The Clan|clan]] in my empire or at least each clan that can field a minimum of [[Asskicking Equals Authority|a thousand warriors.]] I intend to make sure everyone in my kingdom knows I am their cousin. Once I have accounted for all the bride collecting I need for such matters there is plenty of time for my own personal pleasure.
*** If I need women that badly, I will just buy Pay-Per-View, or if such technology does not exist, a "Gold Pass" to the local Brothel (Preferably one on the payroll, or at least one who keeps track of who's working for them). They won't want one of their prime customers dead, and I will enter and leave while disguised.
** If I need to have a harem, for whatever reason, I will hire a mix of those aforementioned hot amazons (doubling as bodyguards) and regular prostitutes. They still would be required to occasionally have (protected) sex with me, but they will be allowed to come and go as they please, sleep otherwise with whoever they like (in secret), get lavished with gifts, and most importantly, their families will be well taken care of. Helping their sickly little sisters become healthy will be the real loyalty winners. The baubles will just be bonuses.
Line 87 ⟶ 88:
* I will make sure to have ''two'' dining halls, and only rig one like this. Having something like this happen to my trusted lieutenant just because I'm paranoid and he forgot which seat it was isn't just a setback, it's bloody ''embarrassing''.
* My jail/prison/dungeon/gulag will be as far away from my primary base as physically possible. The base will have cells for temporary confinement, but all prisoners will be transferred to the main dungeon as quickly as possible. Their equipment will be sent to a different facility, preferably at least 20 miles or more from the prison.
**I will not live in my jail/prison/gulag. That will be far off in a desolate wilderness where if someone escapes I could not care less. I will live in a palace with gardens, concubines, artwork, and rich delicacies. And not an [[Evil Tower of Ominousness]]. What is the point of being an evil emperor if you cannot enjoy it?
* All of my [[Meido|maids]] will be [[Hot Amazon|hot]] [[Ninja Maid]]s. They will be treated well and given plenty of downtime, but will act as if they were enslaved. That way, when the hero inevitably tries to free them from my 'oppression', they will kill him before he knows what happened. Additionally, if they desire companionship beyond me, I shall encourage them to form a happy relationship with [[Bishounen]] [[Battle Butler]]s who are in a similar position. This way, I can also counter any potential female heroes and [[Action Girl]]s.
** As an added bonus, if Evil Overlording proves not to be my style, this will allow me to seamlessly reinvent myself as a harem anime protagonist.
Line 103 ⟶ 105:
* I will not rape anyone, ever. Doing so is a [[Moral Event Horizon|one-way ticket]] to a [[Karmic Death]], and those are ''never'' pleasant. Besides, if I want to be a competent overlord, I have to be able to control my desires.
** I will not tolerate rape on the part of any of my subordinates. Anyone caught doing so will be executed. [[Stuffed in A Fridge|Brutally]], [[Bloody Hilarious|slowly]], and [[Forced to Watch|in full view of the public.]] I mean, like ''horribly''. What's [[Rumble in The Bronx|that movie where someone gets stuffed into a woodchipper]]? Like that, only worse.
**If I am on campaign I especially will execute any rapist in a horrible manner. And I will invite all the local civilians to watch and give them plenty of food while they enjoy the show. My army is like all armies dependent on the population for intelligence and rations. It will not do to make them mad at me.
* If I have a wife, girlfriend, or significant other, I will remain faithful. The wrath of a [[Woman Scorned]] is probably the most powerful force in the universe (or at least right up there), and I'd rather not face it. I'm not having my plans shot to hell because I couldn't keep my pants on.
* If things between the wife and me go sour, I'll do my best to end things amicably and leave her with a decent alimony, to make her less tempted to help the hero. Or just quietly kill her.
Line 123 ⟶ 126:
** Or I will offer a raise for guards if they volunteer to become eunuchs (or for women whatever the female version is). Not only will it remove the want to chase tail but it also helps built muscle to kick tail instead. I will remember steers are stronger and bigger than bulls because "they focus on grass instead of ass".
** Alternately, I will ensure that my guards are provided with the opportunity to regularly visit brothels, or return home on leave to their significant others. After all, a sexually satisfied guard is less likely to fall for the hero(ine)'s charms.
***I will not however let them visit slave brothels. The [[Evil Overlord]] [[Moral Event Horizon|who does that]], [[Genre Savvy|always loses.]]
** Or I will combine the best features of the above two plans by researching suppressant drugs that render the subject biochemically incapable of sexual arousal, but which have no harmful side effects and wear off soon after you stop taking your daily dose. Elite Guards who are on duty in 'essential areas' will be required to ingest daily as a condition of volunteering for elite service and will be randomly screened for compliance. Elite Guards will also be granted relatively generous shore leave periods where they not only can stop taking their pills but also get opportunities to visit aforementioned significant others or brothels, as an additional incentive to volunteer for this duty in the first place.
* I could just use robots, of course. But make sure that the robots are ''actually'' robots, and don't [[Do Androids Dream?|dream]]. And I'll make sure they can't be reprogrammed without retinal clearance from my top roboticist, my head of security, and myself.
Line 145 ⟶ 149:
* I will put my most sensitive information in an obscure format only readable by my own software, [[Hidden in Plain Sight]] as a derelict terminal not connected to the Network and without any external ports or removable disc drives whatsoever, placed somewhere where no-one will bother to look for it, such as a museum.
** I will, along with this, make sure that the said terminal is readily accessible to myself and whoever must be in on it by the Need to Know Basis' requirements, and in a way that will not attract attention. Me and/or my trusted lieutenants paying visits to nondescript terminals will have great significance to the hero, as it signals that the nondescript terminal in question has some significance to me.
**I will put large amounts of information on computers that are easily accessed. These will include a deeply encrypted, most secret report on the number of paper clips stockpiled in the Quartermaster's Office of my Army of Doom. Before we got that new paperclip shipment that is. All information worth having will be in a closed circuit that is not accessible from outside my bases. The very most secret information will be carried by hand courier.
* I will not listen to the princess/heroine/love interest when she says [[The Scarpia Ultimatum|she'll marry me if only I spare the hero's life.]] The fact that she was not willing to entertain the idea when his life was ''not'' on the line suggests her priorities are elsewhere.
* I will have him executed out of her sight, dress up a similar looking minion dress up in his clothes, "release" the minion in front of her, and marry her.
** I will not marry the princess/heroine/love interest at all. I have little desire to have in my bed someone who only married me to save her boyfriend. The thought of being garroted with a necklace kind of [[Fan Disservice|takes the fun away.]]
* Although it's normally standard policy to remind myself that there are lots of other women in the world, I must consider the possibility that she may be a princess and I could need her politically. Under these circumstances, I will instead marry whichever heir is the weakest of will, regardless of her personal appearances. Nobody ever said I had to be faithful.
* I will strike a happy compromise. She might be [[Beautiful All Along]], and/or end up aiding the heroes, if I am unfaithful. Even if she does not, she may conveniently take me out after my utter defeat, which should not happen if I have read this list. Or it might be in my moment of triumph.
Line 186 ⟶ 192:
* I will not keep a gigantic, man-eating beast that is likely to eat just anyone who happens to dump into its moat or dungeon. If it can't be trained into never trying to eat ''me'', it's not worth the risk.
* When a noble hero convinces another, less noble hero not to kill me, it is not the right time for me to push my luck. In a situation like that, I will not mock them for being so naive and promise that eventually I'll kill them both. Instead, I will act humble and remorseful for as long as they've got me dead to rights.
**I will not spend my time near long drops at the end of the story. The viewers will not kill me if it [[Moral Guardians|results in seeing a corpse.]]
* I will not suddenly start acting evil again once they've no longer got me, either. I will at least wait until they're out of both sight and earshot.
* If I hear a suspicious sound coming from somewhere in my fortress or just outside my camp, I will send out three henchmen to investigate: one in the direction from which the sound was coming, two in the opposite direction.
Line 193 ⟶ 200:
* I will strive to avoid healing techniques that drain life from one person to heal another. It will only be considered if I have condemned criminals for execution; let their wasted lives be spent to save others.
* I will encourage my soldiers to bring their children to work. The children will learn from common mistakes that are made, and be more likely to work as soldiers. Also, the hero will be less likely to attack my soldiers, in fear that they might hit a child, or leave a child without a father or mother. Also, children could make good back-up soldiers, due to their [[Infant Immortality|surprising resistance to bullets and cuts.]]
* I will allow each of my Legions of Doom to have a banner of their own as well as flying my banner. I will also encourage them to have traditions, fancy uniforms, and social organizations. This will encourage morale. They will not however wear these uniforms into battle. They will get muddy and will be impractical. Besides my enemies will be from a [[Ragtag Band of Misfits]] and I do not want my Legions of Doom to look to dandyish.
* I will make the first Friday of every month "Funny Hat Day". Not only will it raise morale of my Legions of Evil but the hero will think twice about [[Dressing as the Enemy|posing as one of them]] when they have to wear a hat made out of fake fruit.
** I will also grant rewards for the funniest hats. Forcing my minions to humiliate themselves is not good for morale.
Line 271 ⟶ 279:
*** If I don't need access to the item, I'll either leave it sitting in my own vault or break it. Even a health potion sitting in the dungeon will help anyone going through it. Hell, I'll put it in my vault if I do need it.
* I will hire my lieutenants based on their knowledge of Sun Tzu's "The Art of War".
** [[The Thirty
*** But they should have plenty of field experience. Ruperts that learned all they know from books tend to think everything goes exactly as planned.
* If I'm fighting a hero whose family, friends, or loved ones I murdered, I will not taunt them by telling them "[[Would You Like to Hear How They Died?|so-and-so begged me to spare his/her life]]". That's more than just flirting with death, that's raping him.
Line 304 ⟶ 312:
* After defeating the nearby, less [[Genre Savvy]] but [[Eviler Than Thou]] Overlord, if I find that there is [[The Cutie|a Cutie]] in process of [[Break the Cutie|breaking]], I will adopt her and have her train under same program with my other [[Ninja Maid]]s. This way, I will have a [[Morality Pet]] that can be useful, and since she has already seen a worse overlord, the risk of her pulling a [[Heel Face Turn]] is slim.
** I will also make sure to actually treat her as a [[Morality Pet]]. [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|That way, if I die,]] the heroes might suddenly have to deal with a [[Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds]].
* When I decide to go "super-evil" And destroy an entire town with burning fire, I shall do it at the dead of night. If circumstances permit me only to destroy the town in the middle of the day, I will order my troops to check any nearby hills for possible [[Kid Hero|children of the people I'm killing,]] and shoot them on sight. The last thing I need is another kid having [[Doomed Hometown|a reason to try and kill me.]] And if my goons miss the kid, and they run into the town and happen to find me burning it up, AND I find out that the kid has some sort of sacred power, I shall kill him immediately. I shall not let him escape, I shall not say that he has a magic power, and above all, I SHALL NOT [[So Bad It's Horrible/
* If I decide to make a giant mech to smite my enemies, I shall make a hidden button that activates a [[Weak Point]]. I shall not press this button untill my enemies try to override my mech, at which point I will press the button, eject out of the cockpit, wait untill the heroes get into the mech... and then blast the [[Weak Point]] with a rocket launcher/[[Laser/BFG|BFG]] (Whichever is the best avalible.)
* If the hero has a One-Winged Angel form and attempts to use it on me, during the stage in which he goes "HRAAAAARGH" with a deep red glow i will immediately smash him to the floor with a swift haymaker punch.
Line 618 ⟶ 626:
** [[Final Fantasy XII|try to wreck half the planet just to piss off the gods (Preferably, one should get on their good side if they are JerkassGods).]]
** [[Final Fantasy XIII|or throw a suicidal temper tantrum that daddy left me and my 1 million siblings alone to run a shitty little utopia in the sky.]]
** ALL of this has been done in the past, and none of them ended well for the Evil Overlords running the show thanks to a combination of [[Save Scumming]], [[Designated Hero|Designated Heroes]], [[The Power of Friendship]]/[[The Power of Love|Love]], et cetera. At best, they should be referenced has lessons on what NOT to do. If Necromancy exists in my Universe, it might be prudent to have a word with these individuals, they may have failed, but they still might have some useful pointers as more experienced Overlords...Except the Clown...(The information will be taken with a grain of salt, after all, they are DEAD).
* Even if all my advisors agree that [[No One Could Survive That|no-one could survive the blow]] I have just dealt to the hero, I will still chop his head off for good measure.
* If I'm ever seriously injured, I will fake being knocked stupid.
Line 814 ⟶ 822:
*If I have a [[It Only Works Once|single-use superweapon]], and a choice between targeting some minor person who has annoyed me personally and an actual threat, I will put aside personal jealousy for a few seconds and target the actual threat.
{{Evil Overlord Lists}}
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Evil Tropes]]
| |||