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Asbestos-Free Cereal: Difference between revisions
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* Fat-free hard candy. In case anybody thought hard candy contains anything besides sugar and flavoring.
* There was a bit of a scandal in the Netherlands some years ago when chupa chup lollies came on the market and made a big point about 'being healthy' (on account of the fruit-juice in it). Of course they aren't: they are full of sugar and the fruit is way to much processed to have any nutritional value. They were laughed off the market.
=== Only one to contain a trademarked ingredient ===
* Certs is advertised as the only breath freshener with Retsyn. Retsyn is a combination of ingredients which is made by Certs under the trademarked name "Retsyn," [[Don't Explain the Joke|so nobody else is allowed to use that name even if they use the same ingredients]].▼
** Ditto with Trident Xtra-Care gum, which advertises calcium-based Recaldent to "remineralize" teeth. (Recaldent, of course, is just a combination of the prefix "re-", the word "calcium", and the French "dent", meaning tooth.)▼
* Several yogurt companies do this as well, having invented their own trademarked names for certain bacteria that appear in the human digestive system; therefore, Activia really can say that they are the only yogurt that contains B.L. regularis, because they are the only ones with the rights to that particular name for it.▼
* "Only Birdseye peas have Birdseye's Vitamins In Peas guarantee!" Yes, because you are hardly going to give that marketing gimmick to your competitors are you?▼
* Brompton's bicycles claim to have over X amount of specialized parts on every bicycle (usually in the triple digits). Brompton also patented each part in a way that no other company can make parts that will fit on a Brompton. What this means is that Brompton has a monopoly on its parts. If your Brompton needs even the slightest bit of maintenance or repair, be prepared to pay through the nose because Brompton can charge any price it wants. (By contrast, there is a standard on most bicycle parts that frequently need repair, such as brakes and inner tubes, that nearly all other bicycle manufacturers follow, including those of higher quality than Brompton's.)▼
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** at least eggs and milk are kinda good for you. but nutella's main sales-argument is also 'gives you energy', yeah, refined sugar tends to do that. sugar is also the main ingredient in 'energy-drinks', with the caffeine and taurine more of an afterthought.
* Bell Canada advertises their high-speed Internet as "perfect for laptops". Well, it really doesn't matter what form of computer you're using, but sometimes an included Wi-Fi router does come in handy.
▲* Certs is advertised as the only breath freshener with Retsyn. Retsyn is a combination of ingredients which is made by Certs under the trademarked name "Retsyn," [[Don't Explain the Joke|so nobody else is allowed to use that name even if they use the same ingredients]].
▲** Ditto with Trident Xtra-Care gum, which advertises calcium-based Recaldent to "remineralize" teeth. (Recaldent, of course, is just a combination of the prefix "re-", the word "calcium", and the French "dent", meaning tooth.)
▲* Several yogurt companies do this as well, having invented their own trademarked names for certain bacteria that appear in the human digestive system; therefore, Activia really can say that they are the only yogurt that contains B.L. regularis, because they are the only ones with the rights to that particular name for it.
* Many types of washing powder ads. There was one that loudly advertised it used/contained 'blue energy'. A consumer show ridiculed it, by interviewing people and asking if anyone had any idea what 'blue energy' is supposed to be. It turns out it was actually just blue dye. Since blue neutralizes yellow in the color spectrum, washing yellowed garments in heavily-diluted blue dye will give the illusion of the material coming out whiter. (It's the same thing that gave us the [[Elderly Blue Haired Lady]]).
* Many [[Role Playing Game|Role Playing Games]] (especially in the 16-bit era) had advertisements or box blurbs boasting "Over XX hours of gameplay!" Depending on the game, [[Fake Longevity|a good number of these "XX hours"]] would unfortunately be devoted to [[Level Grinding]].
** ''[[Tales of Symphonia]]'' did one better: They advertised "over 80 hours of gameplay". Actual time to the completion of the storyline, with obnoxious [[Level Grinding]] and dubious [[Sidequest|Side Quests]]: around 40 hours. But they've got a [[New Game+]] feature, so that's forty hours, ''twice'', which is ''totally'' the same thing as eighty hours!
▲* "Only Birdseye peas have Birdseye's Vitamins In Peas guarantee!" Yes, because you are hardly going to give that marketing gimmick to your competitors are you?
* In the NES and SNES era, video game ads which trumpeted that the game in question possessed "The Nintendo Seal of Quality". The Nintendo Seal of Quality only meant that the game was guaranteed to run properly and met Nintendo's standards of censorship, and the publisher had paid Nintendo the licensing fee. It had nothing to do with whether or not the game was any good. Today the seal is simply called the "Official Nintendo Seal", disclaiming any particular guarantee of quality.
* Sega used to tout the greatness of "blast processing" technology that their consoles used. "Blast processing" doesn't exist.
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* An advertisement for a device amplifying one's hearing starts out by cheerfully saying "How would you like to have SONIC HEARING?!" 'Sonic' is, by definition, a part of hearing.
* In 2011, the Belgian cable company Telenet has been advertising its internet via the cable as "[[Unit Confusion|Surf at the speed of light]]!" Virtually all internet traffic uses fibre-optic connection at some point in the process, which moves at the speed of light. The only thing that improves download speeds is ''how many'' signals can be sent at the same time over the same connection.
▲* Brompton's bicycles claim to have over X amount of specialized parts on every bicycle (usually in the triple digits). Brompton also patented each part in a way that no other company can make parts that will fit on a Brompton. What this means is that Brompton has a monopoly on its parts. If your Brompton needs even the slightest bit of maintenance or repair, be prepared to pay through the nose because Brompton can charge any price it wants. (By contrast, there is a standard on most bicycle parts that frequently need repair, such as brakes and inner tubes, that nearly all other bicycle manufacturers follow, including those of higher quality than Brompton's.)
== [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshade Hangings]] and [[Parodies]] ==
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