Bears are Bad News/Quotes: Difference between revisions

{{quote|''And, ladies and gentlemen, the number one threat to America... BEARS!''|'''Stephen Colbert''', ''[[The Colbert Report]]''}}

{{quote|''"That's a scary-ass bear! That's, like, a ''[[Jaws (film)|Jaws]]''-sized bear! That's not even a bear. That's like a monster bear. What the fuck..."''|'''Nick and Brad from 4 Player Podcast''', [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixvh-8W1OS8 "Holy Crap That's a Bear!"] upon seeing The Bear from ''[[Condemned]] 2'' for the first time.}}

{{quote|''Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.''|Flavour Text for the ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card [http://sales.starcitygames.com/cardscans/MTG6TH/grizzly_bears.jpg Grizzly Bears]; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go}}

'''Spike''': Undo it! Undo it!|''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''}}

{{quote|"''The thing about a bear'', his father had always said, ''is that it can move as silently as breath. It could be watching you from ten paces away and you'd never know. Against a bear you have no defenses. You can't run faster. You can't climb higher. You can't fight it on your own. All you can do is learn its ways, and try to persuade it that you're neither threat nor prey.''"|''[[The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness|Wolf Brother]]''}}

{{quote|''"You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy."''|[[Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy|Brian Fantana]]}}

FUCKING BEARSTOP.|'''/v/'s most common variation of the FUCKING GAMESTOP [[Memetic Mutation|meme]].'''}}

{{quote|''No Andalite accustomed to our more pacific animal life could possibly understand what a grizzly bear charge means. Even most humans would fail to imagine it. Grizzly bears are not lithe and graceful like the big cats. They are more like dogs. They move with a rolling, lopsided gait that at first seems almost tentative, as if they might stop at any moment.''}}

{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}

{{quote|''"Bears, [[Trademark Favorite Food|beets]]. . . [[Battlestar Galactica]]."''|Jim Halpert's imitation of Dwight, ''[[The Office]]''}}

{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked.com|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}

'''Kathleen:''' “Well, let’s see. Why don’t I list off everything that makes me afraid of bears, and we’ll take off anything that seems unreasonable. Bears are very large, they have giant teeth and claws, they have been known to maul humans, they can crush a human skull in their jaws, and if they can be taught to dance, I’m pretty sure they can be taught to do kung-fu, and that would fuck you up.”|'''[[Loading Ready Run]]''', from the episode [http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/29/OMG-Bears/QT OMG! Bears!]}}

{{quote|Battle ''bears''? B E A R S?|'''[[George Takei]]''', ''[[Command and Conquer Red Alert]] 3'' outtakes, has the idea of the War Bear explained to him.}}

{{quote|''"Bears are crazy, Willie. They'll bite your head if you're wearing steak on it."''|'''Space Ghost''', ''[[Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]''}}

{{quote|''Bear? Is the bear back? [[What Measure Is a Mook?|We've already lost one intern!]]''|'''Bridgette,''' ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' "Aftermath Aftermayhem"}}

'''Abby:''' Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious. |'''[[Hobo with a Shotgun]]'''}}

{{quote|"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"|'''[[Team Fortress 2|The Scout]]''', describing the Heavy}}

{{quote|"Acid was always [[The Stoner|my]] [[Mushroom Samba|favorite drug.]] When we would do acid, we'd go out into the woods, because there was less chance of running into an authority figure--but we ran into a bear, and that was an even ''bigger'' buzzkill..."|'''[[Mitch Hedberg]]'''}}

{{quote|''"[[Exit, Pursued by a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winter's Tale|The Winters Tale]]''}}

{{quote|"Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!"}}

-- '''[[What the Fuck Is Wrong With You|Nash]]''', pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.