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Blatant Lies/Quotes: Difference between revisions

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Blatant Lies/Quotes (view source)

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{{trope}}
 
{{quote|"Zozo? Never heard of it."|''Thief standing by the entrance of [[Wretched Hive|Zozo]], [[Final Fantasy VI]]''}}
 
{{quote|"Anyone see what happened?"<br />
"Of course not. They were all in the bathroom at the time."|''[[CSI]]''}}
 
{{quote|[[Memetic Mutation|"YOU LIE!!!!"]]|''[[Invader Zim]] on frequent occasions.''}}
 
{{quote|[After she wakes up and see their room-mate staring at her and her girlfriend's entangled bodies]<br />
'''Paulie:''' She... she gets serious nightmares.|[[Lost and Delirious]]}}
 
{{quote|Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying.|''[[Burn Notice]]''}}
 
{{quote| I'm making you a sales engineer, you'll be paid on commision. When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth. }}
{{quote|Try to avoid facts. |'''[[Dilbert]]'''}}▼
 
{{quote|'''Wedge''': We'll need [[Noodle Implements|a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing]].
▲{{quote|Try to avoid facts. |'''[[Dilbert]]'''}}
'''WedgeHobbie''': VeryBoss, well.please tell me Iyou'mre not putting us in women's clothing. <br />▼
 
{{quote|'''Wedge''': We'llVery needwell. [[NoodleI'm Implements|anot wheeledputting transport,us one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets ofin women's clothing]]. <br />
'''Hobbie''':(In Boss,the pleasenext tellchapter, me[[Gilligan you'reCut|the notfour puttingpilots usare in women's clothing. <br />]])''
'''Hobbie''': MyYou faithlied isto shatteredme.<br />▼
▲'''Wedge''': Very well. I'm not putting us in women's clothing. <br />
'''Wedge''': I did. [[Ass in Ambassador|With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators.<br />▼
''(In the next chapter, [[Gilligan Cut|the four pilots are in women's clothing]])''<br />
'''Hobbie''': YouMy liedfaith tois meshattered.<br />
'''Wedge''': You knew, when I said we needed four sets of women's clothing, that we were going to end up in them. You ''knew''. So any hopes you had to the contrary were just self-delusion.<br />▼
▲'''Wedge''': I did. [[Ass in Ambassador|With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators.<br />
▲'''Hobbie''': My faith is shattered.<br />
▲'''Wedge''': You knew, when I said we needed four sets of women's clothing, that we were going to end up in them. You ''knew''. So any hopes you had to the contrary were just self-delusion.<br />
'''Hobbie''': I understand that. But I'd rather blame you than me. |''[[X Wing Series|Starfighters of Adumar]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Dougal:''' Why didn't you lie to him?<br />
'''Ted:''' I did! I told him great big massive lies with feckin' bells hanging off them!|''[[Father Ted]]'', "Entertaining Father Stone" }}
 
{{quote|"I HAVE NO LASERS, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE."|'''[[Paper-Thin Disguise|Obviously Not Warmech]],''' ''[[8-Bit Theater (Webcomic)|8-Bit Theater]]'', "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/10/16/episode-1047-the-ol-180/ The Ol' 180]"}}
 
{{quote|''I'll just go in this police box and arrest myself.''|The Doctor, ''[[Doctor Who]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Maura:''' Hey, babe. Where've you been?<br />
'''Clango:''' Nowhere! I briefly ceased to exist in time and space!<br />
'''Maura:''' That doesn't sound suspicious at all.|''[[Diesel Sweeties]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Reimu:''' There's a limit, even to obvious lies.|''[[Touhou Project]]''}}
 
{{quote|''If you saw a bullet hit a bird and he told you he wasn't shot, you might weep at his courtesy, but you would certainly doubt his word.''|'''[[Emily Dickinson]]'''}}
|'''[[Emily Dickinson]]'''}}
 
{{quote|''It was a difficult time. I did all that I could to protect my House and then other members of Court in attendance. More's the pity that I could not save that usurping, traitorous bitch.''|'''Lara Raith''', in one of her blunter moments, ''[[The Dresden Files]] - White Night''}}
|'''Lara Raith''', in one of her blunter moments, ''[[The Dresden Files]] - White Night''}}
 
{{quote|'''Jon''': [[Super Smash Bros Brawl|FALCON]] [[F-Zero|PAWNCH!]]<br />
'''Evan''': [[Sarcasm Mode|I wonder who you are.]]<br />
'''Jon''': I'm, uh, Mario.<br />
'''Azura''': Mario has the PAWNCH?<br />
'''Jon''': Mario has a poncho. He's, uh, from Mexico.<br />
'''Azura''': Sweet.<br />
'''Ashley''': Or is he from Spain?<br />
'''Jon''': Ethnic minority Mario! Collect them all!|'''[[Proton Jon]]''' and his friends, waiting for the [[Super Smash Bros Brawl|next match]] to begin}}
 
{{quote|(Antimony and Reynardine approach door, Antimony is wearing a headband with attached antennae.)<br />
'''Antimony''': Hello. I would like to enter, please.<br />
'''Doorbot''': Robots onl... what's that on your head?<br />
'''Antimony''': [[Paper-Thin Disguise|These are my antennas, because I am clearly a robot.<br />]]
'''Doorbot''': Oh! Well... it's true that some robots have antennas... hmm...<br />
'''Antimony''': [[Circular Reasoning|Also, robots never lie.<br />]]
'''Doorbot''': Hey, you're right! Come on in, friends!<br />
'''Antimony''': We are looking for a particular robot. A... '''fellow''' robot. Because we are also robots.<br />
'''Doorbot''': Administration is right down that way.<br />
'''Reynardine''': Your powers of deception and trickery are bewildering, child. |''[[Gunnerkrigg Court]]''}}
 
{{quote|[Superintendent Chalmers sees Principal Skinner's is glowing (as it is aflame)]<br />
'''Chalmers''': Good Lord! What is happening in there?!<br />
'''Skinner''': [[Implausible Deniability|Aurora Borealis.]]<br />
'''Chalmers''': A- Aurora Borealis? ''At this time of year? At this time of day?'' '''''In this part of the country? LOCALIZED IN YOUR KITCHEN?!'''''<br />
'''Skinner''': Yes.<br />
'''Chalmers''': ([[Beat]]) [[Seamless Spontaneous Lie|...may I see it?]]|'''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'''}}
 
{{quote|'''Mrs. Teasdale''': Your Excellency, I thought you'd left!<br />▼
'''Chicolini''': Oh no, I no leave.<br />▼
'''Mrs. Teasdale''': But I saw you with my own eyes!<br />▼
'''Chicolini''': Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes? |'''[[Duck Soup]]'''}}▼
 
{{quote|I can never tell when a thimblerigger does this stupid trick of linking to a source that contradicts the statement for which the link is offered in support, if the thimblerigger actually is unable to read English because his eyes are bewitched, but he somehow actually [[Believing Their Own Lies|believes his own lying spew]]? or if he knows it is lying spew, but is confident that the reader will not click through the link and read? Or perhaps, (and this is the most desolate and sad option of the three), the thimblerigger knows the reader will click, will see and understand that the lying spew is lying spew, but both reader and thimblerigger will admire and love the lying spew they both know to be a lie precisely because it is lying spew: and take it as a sign of virtue that they both together defy truth, reality, reason and judgment, in some sort of a mental suicide pact.
▲{{quote|'''Mrs. Teasdale''': Your Excellency, I thought you'd left!<br />
| ''[http://www.scifiwright.com/2016/04/we-also-call-them-morlocks/ We Also Call Them Morlocks]'' in '''[[John C. Wright]]'''<nowiki></nowiki>'s Journal }}
▲'''Chicolini''': Oh no, I no leave.<br />
▲'''Mrs. Teasdale''': But I saw you with my own eyes!<br />
▲'''Chicolini''': Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes? |'''[[Duck Soup]]'''}}
 
{{reflist}}
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