Downton Abbey/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Series 1

Episode 1

Lady Edith: [About the Titanic] I thought it was supposed to be unsinkable.
Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham: Every mountain is unclimbable until someone climbs it; so every ship is unsinkable until it sinks.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: I'm very sorry about poor Patrick, of course. He was a nice boy.
Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham: We were all so fond of him...
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: But I never cared for James. He was too like his mother, and a nastier woman never drew breath.
Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham: Are we to be friends, then?
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: We are allies, my dear, which can be a good deal more effective.
Lord Grantham: You do seem very well informed on this family's private affairs. But you ought, perhaps, to know that I do not intend to fight the entail--not any part of it.
Duke of Crowborough: You can't be serious.
Lord Grantham: It pains me to say it, but I am.
Duke of Crowborough: You'll give up your entire estate--your wife's money into the bargain--to a perfect stranger? You won't even put up a fight?
Lord Grantham: I hope he proves to be perfect, but I rather doubt it.
Duke of Crowborough: A very odd thing to joke about.
Lord Grantham: No odder than this conversation.
Daisy: Seems like a lot of food, when you think they're all in mourning.
Mrs. Patmore: Nothing makes you hungrier or more tired than grief. When my sister died, God rest her soul, I ate my way through four plates of sandwiches at one sitting and slept round the clock.
Daisy: Did it make you feel better?
Mrs. Patmore: Not much, but it passed the time.

Episode 2

Matthew Crawley: Mother, Lord Grantham has made the unwelcome discovery that his heir is a middle class lawyer, and the son of a middle class doctor.
Isobel Crawley: Upper middle class!
Lady Grantham: It's a cottage hospital, of course, but quite well equipped.
Isobel Crawley: Who pays for it?
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Oh, good, let's talk about money.
Lord Grantham: My father gave the building and an endowment to run it. In a way, he set up his own memorial.
Isobel Crawley: But how splendid!
Lord Grantham: And Mr. Lloyd George's new insurance measures will help.
Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Please don't speak that man's name; we are about to eat.
Lord Grantham: [About Matthew Crawley, Lord Grantham's new heir] I thought you didn't like him?
Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: So what? I have plenty of friends I don't like.
Lord Grantham: You do not love the place yet.
Matthew Crawley: Well, obviously, it's...
Lord Grantham: No, you don't love it. You see a million bricks that may crumble, a thousand gutters and pipes that may block and leak, and stone that will crack in the frost.
Matthew Crawley: But you don't?
Lord Grantham: I see my life's work.
Lord Grantham: You do know I mean to involve you in the running of the estate?
Matthew: Oh, don't worry, there are plenty of hours in the day. And of course I'll have the weekend.
Lord Grantham: We'll discuss this later, we mustn't bore the ladies.
Violet: What is a weekend?

Episode 3

Mrs. Patmore: Daisy! What's happened to you? I said you could go for a drink of water, not a trip up the Nile!
John Bates: You can change your life if you want to. Sometimes you have to be hard on yourself, but you can change it completely. I know.
Mrs. Hughes: Mr. Bates, what's the matter?
John Bates: Nothing, not a thing. I'm fine.
Mrs. Hughes: Let me help you.
John Bates: I'm perfectly alright. Thank you, Mrs. Hughes.
Mrs. Hughes: Are you sure? You're as white as a sheet.
John Bates: It's my wonderful complexion, inherited from my Irish mother.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Oh, my dears! Is it really true? I can't believe it. Last night he looked so well! Of course, it would happen to a foreigner. It's typical.
Lady Mary: Don't be ridiculous!
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: I'm not being ridiculous. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house, especially someone they didn't even know.
Lady Sibyl: Oh, Granny, even the English aren't in control of everything.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Well I hope we're in control of something, if only ourselves.
Mr. Bates: I saw this advertisement for a limp corrector. What does it do exactly?
Salesman: It corrects limps.
Mr. Bates: Does it work?
Salesman: Well, as I make it and I advertise it, is it likely I'd say no?

Episode 4

Lord Grantham: You are my darling daughter, and I love you, hard as it is for an Englishman to say the words...If I had made my own fortune and bought Downton for myself, it should be yours without question. But I did not. My fortune is the work of others, who labored to build a great dynasty. Do I have the right to destroy their work, or impoverish that dynasty? I am a custodian, my dear, not an owner. I must strive to be worthy of the task I have been set.

Episode 5

Daisy: I was only trying to help.
Mrs. Patmore: Oh, Judas was only trying to help I suppose, when he brought the Roman soldiers to the Garden!
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: You are quite wonderful, the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
Isobel Crawley: I take that as a compliment.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: I must have said it wrong.
Lady Mary: How many times am I to be ordered to marry the man sitting next to me at dinner?
Lady Grantham: As many times as it takes.
Anna: I love you, Mr Bates. I know it’s not ladylike to say it, but I’m not a lady, and I don’t pretend to be.
Mr. Bates: You are a lady to me. And I never knew a finer one.
Carson: Gwen, may I ask why you are sitting on Lady Sybil's bed?
Gwen: Well, you see, I had a turn, like a burst of sickness, just sudden-like. I had to sit down.
Anna: It's true.
Carson: Well, you'd better go and lie down. I'll tell Mrs. Hughes.
Gwen: No, I don't need to interrupt her morning. I'm sure I'll be fine if I could just put my feet up.
Carson: How many bedrooms have you still got to do?
Anna: Just one. Lady Edith's.
Carson: And you can manage on your own.
Anna: Well, she's no use to man or beast in that state. Go on. Shoo.
Carson: Daisy, may I ask why you are holding Lady Sybil's biscuit jar?
Daisy: Em...I was just...Polishing it...Before I put it back.
Carson: See that you do.

Episode 6

Branson: Politicians often can't recognize the changes that are inevitable.
Lady Mary: I was only going to say that Sibyl is entitled to her opinions.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: No, she isn't until she is married--then her husband will tell her what her opinions are.
Lord Grantham: Poor old Edith; we never seem to talk about her.
Lady Grantham: I'm afraid Edith will be the one to care for us in our old age.
Lord Grantham: What a ghastly prospect.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: My poor niece never uses one word when twenty will do.
Branson: I may be a socialist, but I'm not a lunatic.
Lady Mary: I'm not sure Papa knows the difference.

Episode 7

Lady Rosamond: There's nothing like an English summer, is there?
Lady Mary: Except an English winter.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: We can't have him assassinated. I suppose.
[The newly installed telephone is ringing]
Mrs. Patmore: Oh my Lord, listen to that! It's like the cry of the banshee! [Branson walks in]
Branson: That's Mr. Carson's telephone ringing. [the phone rings again] Is someone going to answer it?
Mrs. Patmore: I wouldn't touch that thing with a ten foot pole!
Branson: Well, I will then.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Well, Rosamund, I'm afraid your meddling has cost Mary the only decent offer she'll ever get.
Lady Rosamund: I'm sorry, Mama, but you know me. I have to say what I think.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Why? Nobody else does.
Carson: I know you have spirit, my lady, and that's what counts. It's all that counts in the end.

Series 2

Episode 7

Mrs. Patmore: Daisy!? What in God's name are you doing down here at this hour?
Daisy: I just wanted to check it were all right. That it hadn't, you know, caved in or anything.
Mrs. Patmore: Caved in? It's a cake, not a souflé.
Daisy: I know, but I've never made a wedding cake before.
Mrs. Patmore: Is that the one for tasting?
Daisy: Yes, Mrs. Patmore. [getting a piece off the shelf]
Mrs. Patmore: Well, bring it out, we'll give it a try. [after she and Daisy try a bite and both spit it out] What in God's name do you call this?
Daisy: I don't know. I did everything that you said. I promise.
Mrs. Patmore: Didn't you taste the mixture? [Daisy shakes her head] Well, then I'm afraid it's time to look at Thomas's ingredients. [walks over to counter and tries something and spits it out] Well, it's two thirds plaster dust. Where's the peel? [Daisy hands it to her] This were old when Adam were a boy. So, Thomas was happy to "let it go", was he? Well, it won't go anywhere near me in future. Chuck the whole bally lot out and we'll have to think again.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: No doubt you will regard this as rather unorthodox, my pushing into a man's bedroom, uninvited.
Matthew Crawley: Well, um...
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: It's just I don't want us to be disturbed. [she sits down] I'm sure you know how pleased I am that you will recover after all.
Matthew Crawley: Thank you.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Just as I am delighted that you can once more look forward to a...to a happy married life.
Matthew Crawley: I'm very lucky.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Now, this may come as a surprise but I feel I must say it all the same.
Matthew Crawley: Please do.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Mary is still in love with you.
Matthew Crawley: What?
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: I was watching her the other night when you spoke of your wedding. She looked like Juliet on awakening in the tomb.
Matthew Crawley: Mary and I have always had...
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Of course, I suspected long ago that the flame hadn't quite gone out, but then there was no chance of your recovery and it seemed best to let her try for happiness where she could.
Matthew Crawley: I quite agree, and Sir Richard is...
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: No, now let's not muddy the pool by discussing Sir Richard. The point is you loved her once. Are you sure you can't love her again?
Matthew Crawley: Cousin Violet, please don't think I mind your speaking to me in this way. I quite admire it. But consider this: Lavinia came back, against my orders, determined to look after me for the rest of my life, which meant that she would wash me and feed me and do things that only the most dedicated nurse would undertake, and all with no hope of children or any improvement.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Yes, yes, it's all very admirable. And I give her full credit.
Matthew: And giving her that credit, do you think it would be right for me to throw her over because I can walk? To dismiss her because I no longer have need of her services?
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Spoken like a man of honor, and we will not fall out over this.
Matthew Crawley: But you don't agree.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: I would just say one thing. Marriage is a long business. There's no getting out of it for our kind of people. Now, you may live 40, 50 years with one of these two women. Just make sure you have selected the right one.
Tom Branson: You're very late. Won't they worry?
Lady Sybil Crawley: They're all so excited, they won't care where I am.
Tom Branson: I'm pleased. I like Mr. Matthew.
Lady Sybil Crawley: He announced at dinner that he wants to get married at Downton. Somehow, it made me feel more than ever that the war is really over and it's time to move forward.
Tom Branson: Do you mean you've made your decision?
Lady Sybil Crawley: Yes. My answer is...that I'm ready to travel and you are my ticket to get away from this house, away from this life.
Tom Branson: Me?
Lady Sybil Crawley: No, Uncle Tom Cobley. [they both laugh]
Tom Branson: I'm sorry. But I've waited so long for those words, I can't believe I'm hearing them. You won't mind burning your bridges?
Lady Sybil Crawley: Mind? Fetch me the matches! [Branson leans forward but stops] Yes, you can kiss me, but that is all until everything is settled.
Tom Branson: For now, God knows it's enough that I can kiss you. [They kiss]
Carson: I wrestled with it, m'lord, I don't mind admitting. And I wanted to be there to help Lady Mary, and...
Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham: And protect her from Sir Richard.
Carson: Well, I would quite put it like that, but yes, I suppose. Only...
Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham: Only you felt you couldn't work for a man who would offer a bribe?
Carson: That is correct, m'lord.
Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham: Are you quite sure you won't regret it? I know how fond you are of Lady Mary.
Carson: But I couldn't work for a man that I don't respect. And I certainly couldn't have left Downton for him.
Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham: I shall take that as a compliment. For myself and for my house.
Lady Sybil Crawley: Doesn't it feel odd to have the rooms back?
Lady Edith Crawley: And only us to sit in them. I suppose we'll get used to it.
Lady Sybil Crawley: I don't want to get used to it.
Lady Edith Crawley: What do you mean?
Lady Sybil Crawley: I know what it is to work now. To have a full day, to be tired in a good way. I don't want to start dress fittings or paying calls or standing behind the guns.
Lady Edith Crawley: But how does one escape all that?
Lady Sybil Crawley: I think I've found a way to escape.
Lady Edith Crawley: Nothing too drastic, I hope.
Lady Sybil Crawley: It is drastic. There's no going back once I've done it, but that's what I want. No going back.
Lady Edith Crawley: I don't want to go back, either.
Lady Sybil Crawley: Then don't. You're far nice than you were before the war, you know.

Christmas at Downton Abbey

Christmas Special (2011)

Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: What on earth's the matter?
Sir Richard Carlisle: I'm leaving in the morning, Lady Grantham. I doubt we'll meet again.
Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess: Do you promise?
Matthew Crawley: You've lived your life and I've lived mine. And now it's time we lived them together.
Lady Mary Crawley: We've been on the edge of this so many times, Matthew. Please don't take me there again unless you're sure.
Matthew Crawley: I am sure.
Lady Mary Crawley: And your vows to the memory of Lavinia?
Matthew Crawley: I was wrong. I don't think she wants us to be sad. She was someone who never caused a moment's sorrow in her whole life.
Lady Mary Crawley: I agree.
Matthew Crawley: Then will you?
Lady Mary Crawley: You must say it properly. I won't answer unless you kneel down and everything!
Matthew Crawley: Lady Mary Crawley, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?
Lady Mary Crawley: Yes!

Series 3

Episode 8

Matthew Crawley: I will never be happy with anyone else as long as you walked the earth.


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