Embarrassing First Name/Quotes

Nick: "Who's Jack?"

Tawaki: "C. S. Lewis. You try going by the name of Clive Staples sometime."

—Protectors of the Plot Continuum, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Real Story

777: "Daisukenojo"

Beat: "Bwahh!"

—The World Ends With You

Well my daddy left home when I was three

And he didn't leave much to ma and me,

Just this ol' guitar and an empty bottle of booze.

Now I don't blame him 'cause he run and hid,

But the meanest thing that he ever did

Was before he left, he went and named me 'Sue'.

—Johnny Cash, A Boy Named Sue

"This Marmaduke business. I want to take that up with you some time. Fancy you keeping that dark all these years."

"There's nothing wrong with being christened Marmaduke." said Chuffy, a little heatedly.

"Nothing wrong, no. But we shall all have a good laugh about it at the Drones."

"Bertie," said Chuffy tensely, "if you breath a word of it to those blighters at the Drones, I'll track you to the ends of the earth and strangle you with my bare hands."

—PG Wodehouse, Thank You, Jeeves

There are only two ways a child can go with a name like Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, and Pepper had chosen the other one.

—Good Omens

Gumshoe: [To Phoenix] Anyway, get the name right. And don't go calling me "Dick"...

Police: Hey, Dick! Get over here!

Gumshoe: Y-yes, sir!

—Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney

You shouldn't name a boy "Cyril" or "Percy", because the other boys will want to punch him repeatedly in the mouth, and I can't say as I blame them. And you shouldn't give a girl's name a cute spelling, such as "Cyndi", because no matter how many postgraduate degrees she gets she will never advance any further than clerk-typist.

—Dave Barry, Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home

Sonic: If you don't get out of here right now, I'll tell everyone your real name is "Miles"!

Tails: No! Not that!

—The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog