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“I guess, upon breezing through Space Thunder Kids a third time, you could claim that the things on the DVD cover indeed could have happened even though it is never expressly stated in the movie itself — sort of like how some assholes will lay all sorts of Star Wars nonsense and back story on you, and when you tell them, ‘That dude didn’t even have a name in the movie,’ they get all huffy and explain to you that if you’d read the biographies of the Mos Eisley cantina aliens that was available in the Star Wars screensaver from 1995, you’d know this basic information. I guess I never got the fucking Star Wars screensaver and didn’t know that a screensaver was a legitimate avenue for fleshing out the back story of a movie. Are Burger King glasses considered canonical, too?”