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{{work}}
=== {{color|#2ED73A|D}}{{color|white|o}}{{color|#2ED73A|c Scratch}} ===
 
{{quote box|[[File:Docscratch_8599.jpg|frame]]}}
A very mysterious gentleman whose goal is to bring about the end of the universe, thus summoning an omnipotent [[Eldritch Abomination]]. The First Guardian of Alternia and is thus extremely powerful and ''extremely'' intelligent. He was created by the trolls' Black Queen, using genetic code scribed unconsciously by the trolls as well as Vriska's magic cueball and a dimensionally displaced Lil' Cal.
 
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* [[Abusive Parents]]: As the Handmaid's father figure, and likewise towards Vriska.
* [[Affably Evil]]: He casually tells Spades Slick to help himself to some candy before they continue their negotiations, which consists of {{color|#2ED73A|SScratch}} beating him until Slick agrees to do what he wants.
* [[Angrish]]: When he gets angry, his chat color changes from white to [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004163 Text To Run Away From Really Fast].
* [[Asexuality]]: Heavily implied, although not stated outright.
{{quote| {{color|#b536de|TTT: And does this mean you are attracted to me?}}<br />
{{color|#b536de|TTT: Suddenly this conversation is kind of terrible.}}<br />
{{[color|white:Of course I am not. Not in the way you mean.}}]<br />
{{[color|white:And anyway, you are applying standards of conduct frowned upon for your kind which make no sense to apply to me.}}]<br />
{{[color|white:I am an immortal entity with a large cue ball for a head, and no biological means of reproduction.}}] }}
* [[Badass Boast]]: "{{[color|white:I have power and knowledge far surpassing a god.}}]"
** [[A God I Am Not]]: "{{[color|white:But I am not one.}}]"
* [[Bait the Dog]]: DS is presented at first as a gentlemanly villian with a good sense of humer. Then we find out what he's been doing to the Handmaid.
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** The End of Act 5 proves that Scratch is the undisputed master, by volume if not by success. ''Each and every playable character'', Jack Noir'''s''' included, were being set up in order to help him create the Green Sun, when everyone who knew about the Green Sun thought that they were trying to destroy it.
** Instead of killing each other like he wanted, Slick and Snowman have a hatred-induced make out session with each other. When Doc Scratch intervened, he gave Slick the gun he ultimately used to kill Snowman anyway, showing that [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005520 this was his intention all along.]
{{quote| {{[color|white:But when that bullet clears the barrel, it won't be my finger on the trigger.}}]}}
* [[Battle Aura]]: Acquires one when beating the ever-loving hell out of Spades Slick.
** [[Sickly Green Glow]]
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** When he discovers that Vriska has one of his magic cueballs, he reacts... badly.
** Also, when Slick destroys his clock.
{{quote| {{[color|white:I can tolerate many things from a guest. Curt manners. Egregious womanizing. Murdering the help. Casual arson. Even atrocious candy bowl etiquette. But it is the desecration of a priceless timepiece where I must draw the line. I'm afraid I must now insist that you take your beating ''quite'' personally.}}]}}
* [[Big Bad]]: Of Act 5, before his death.
* [[The Blank]]: As {{color|#2ED73A| The Felt}}'s cueball, he has no facial features whatsoever.
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Suddenly and completely takes over as the narrator twice in the story. The text even becomes white to show this.
* [[Brutal Honesty]]: Unlike Hussie, he doesn't screw around with wordplay or otherwise try to downgrade serious occurrences with comedy while narrating. His narration of what we would've seen if Disc Two wasn't damaged in his own words: Rose dies, John doesn't, the end.
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* [[Cryptic Conversation]]: As befitting the cue ball's role of nudging things. "Don't turn your back on the body". [[Nightmare Fuel|WHICH BODY, Scratch? WHICH ONE?]]
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: Usually.
* [[Death Seeker]]: His death is a necessary step in summoning {{color|#2ED73A| Lord English}}.
* [[Do Not Taunt Cthulhu]]: When he attempts to make amends with Vriska and implies that she will come across a monopoly of misfortune if she refuses, her only response is a torrent of childish insults. Rejected, he almost-outright states that Vriska will not survive the destruction her actions will cause. She didn't.
** Given his omniscience and role in preserving the Alpha timeline, this may have been nothing more than an attempt to slip in a barb on Vriska. He knew she wouldn't act differently, and his job was to preserve the cascade of misfortune that brought about Lord English -- but he left her with the blame for it.
* [[The Dragon]]: Of a sort to {{color|#2ED73A| Lord English}}, even though we never see them together.
* [[The Easy Way or Thethe Hard Way]]: [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005524 Presents this option to his guest], even though he knows it'll be the hard way.
* [[Evil Mentor]]: He's the one who's responsible for post-Scratch Alternia's whole [[Crapsack World]] / [[The Spartan Way]] / [[The Empire]] thing through the use of Aradia's ancestor, as explained [http://mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005953 here].
* [[Exact Words]]: His M.O. for conning his marks. None of his direct statements are lies (with occasional exception made in the short term for jokes) except by omission, but he leads others astray with implications, hypotheticals, and generally presenting just enough information to lead his listener to the wrong conclusion.
* [[Expressive Mask|Expressive Cueball Head]]: Normally blank white, but sometimes it displays images.
* [[Famous Last Words]]: {{color|white|S u c k e r s .}} [[The Chessmaster|A perfect summary of what just happened]].
* [[Fan Nickname]]: Before he was revealed, he was named [[Exactly What It Says Onon the Tin|White Text]].
* [[Foreshadowing]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20131020162942/http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006011 He always claimed to be a magnificent host.]
* [[Fourth Wall Observer]]: He knows the viewers have control over ''Homestuck'' through commands, not to mention he speaks directly to us. At one point, he even has the "disc" for ''Homestuck''.
* [[Friendly Enemy]]: To everyone to an extent, but especially Spades Slick.
* [[Gambit Roulette]]: Justified - his plans ''can't'' fail, not because of their fiendish cleverness so much as the fact that anything which would deviate from the alpha timeline -- i.e. the one resulting in his creation and his death as Lord English's host -- creates an alternate timeline that is doomed to inevitable destruction. In other words, his plans are guaranteed success because [[You Can't Fight Fate]].
* [[Giggling Villain]]: "{{color|white|HHaa Haa Hee Hee Hoo Hoo}}"
* [[Hollywood Dress Code]]: Invokes [[The Mafia]] suspenders [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005524 removing his jacket] before beating his guest.
* [[Hostile Show Takeover]] / [[Interface Screw]]: At one point he hijacks the entire story and the MSPA site is changed to reflect this, having a green color scheme. It's impossible to view the pages any other way as well. He also changes the site's banner to reflect the events in the room as they happen while the comic continues on.
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* [[Living Weapon]]: [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005520 Admits to being his master's weapon].
* [[Made of Iron]]: Can literally not be harmed, so long as the Green Sun shines.
* [[Manipulative Bastard]]: From the end-of-Act 5.2 flash '''[S] Cascade''', when it's revealed that '''The Tumor''' doesn't destroy the '''{{color|lime|GGreen Sun}}''' but ''creates/created it'', that he tricked everyone into creating it, all technically without lying at all. Best summarized with his last words, to Gamzee:
{{quote| {{color|indigo| TC: that's all done motherfuckin white texted bro}}<br />
{{color|indigo| TC: NOW WHAT?}}<br />
{{color|white| (mystery text)}}<br />
{{color|white| (mystery text)}}<br />
{{color|indigo| TC: oh yeah?}}<br />
{{color|indigo| TC: AND JUST WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS IT}}<br />
{{color|indigo| TC: that we motherfuckin are?}}<br />
{{color|indigo| TC: :o?}}<br />
{{color|white| S u c k e r s .}} }}
* [[Man in White]]: His pants and his coat are pure white, but his shirt and tie are different shades of green.
* [[Man of Wealth and Taste]]: He's more or less analogous to a devil (and Hussie has even [https://web.archive.org/web/20110927034946/http://www.formspring.me/mspadventures/q/226538232941150929 outright called him] a [[Satan]] analogue), but he's still classy.
* [[Meaningful Name]]: He existed in Alternia's post-Scratch timeline, but not in its pre-Scratch timeline. In other words, he was only created because of the Scratch.
** Also compare to [[The Devil|Old Scratch]]. "Doc" comes from Doc Holiday, from whom Andrew is also reportedly descended.
* [[Mistaken for Pedophile]]: His [httphttps://wwwweb.archive.org/web/20130815121354/http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005527 conversation] with Rose. He's quick to point out that, although he claims to enjoy the company of young ladies, every lady is young to a being millions of years old.
** Hussie decided to make him come off as "a creeper," [https://web.archive.org/web/20130309193653/http://dl.dropbox.com/u/40585720/Combined_Formspring_Web_Aug-28-2011.htm#mspadventures169701266631458587 after he noticed that Scratch was always spending so much time with the girls and almost none with the boys], though, due to his nonbiological nature, he's not an ''actual'' pedophile. Still, it retroactively makes the scene where he [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004138 distracts Aradia & Terezi] funnier.
* [[Mundane Utility]]: Hangs his coat on the map of Skaia.
* [[Morally -Ambiguous Doctorate]]
* [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast]]: "Old Scratch" is one of many nicknames for [[Satan]].
* [[No Biological Sex]]: {{[color|silver:I am an immortal entity with a large cue ball for a head, and no biological means of reproduction.}}]
* [[No -Holds -Barred Beatdown]]: And he hopes that Spades Slick took it ''quite'' personally. [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005764 BREAK.] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005765 HEADS.]
* [[Not So Stoic]]: Edges toward this whenever the gaps in his omniscience are made apparent. Flipped the fuck out when he learned that Vriska had one of his magic cue balls. Also [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005755 freaks out] (although not nearly as much) at Snowman and Spades Slick's hate snog.
* [[The Omnipotent]]: Combined with...
* [[The Omniscient]]: Well, ''mostly'' omniscient. [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005732 He admits that his understanding is limited to the alpha timeline,] though if he comes across something he doesn't know naturally, he's usually able to figure it out pretty quick. He still needed Terezi to tell him how Vriska was coming so close to beating him in their games, and he seems to have a lot of trouble when it comes to Spades Slick.
** [[Not So Omniscient After All]]: He also had a hole in his perception surrounding Equius's ancestor. It's unknown whether or not this is related to his (and his ancestor's presumable pre-scratch) role as the Heir of Void.
* [[Only Known Byby Their Nickname]]: He indicates to Slick that "Doc Scratch" is just a nickname.
* [[Percussive Maintenance]]: When the [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness|narrow fenestrated wall]] displays Spades Slick and Snowman's hate snog, he stats banging it to change the view.
* [[Physical God]]: He and the other First Guardians (like Becquerel) are near omnipotent. Because {{color|#2ED73A|SScratch}} was also created with a prophetic cue ball, he's nearly omniscient as well.
* [[Punny Name]]: Scratch is a pool term for pocketing a cue ball. Extends to Sburb too, as the term "Scratch" is used for a hard reset of a game.
** [[Stealth Pun]]: Scratch is around 600 million years old, making him [[Satan|Old Scratch]].
*** As he often implied: {{[color|white: I am an excellent host.}}]
* [[Red Oni, Blue Oni]]: Blue to Lord English's red.
* [[Relationship Sabotage]]: Auspisticizes between Slick and Snowman, as seen [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005758 here].
* [[Revolvers Are Just Better]]: Has one, and a holster to put it in.
* [[Schizo -Tech]]: Uses a typewriter to communicate with the trolls, who are using an online chat client.
* [[Sharp -Dressed Man|Sharp Dressed Cueball Puppet]]
* [[Shout -Out]]: Partially one to the [[Slender Man Mythos]], but aside from being evil faceless functionally omniscient sharply dressed men who have a special attraction to children, they don't have much in common. {{color|#2ED73A|SScratch}} for one is only 4 feet tall and prefers talking to people or manipulating them as opposed to stalking them.
* [[Smug Super]]: The fact that he calls everyone who isn't omniscient "suckers" should clue you in.
* [[Super Strength]]: [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005520 There goes a perfectly good horse hitcher].
* [[Technical Pacifist]]: A villainous example, in that he makes it a point not to kill anybody himself, but has no qualms against having others kill for him, even going so far as to equip Slick with a gun so he can shoot Snowman.
{{quote| {{[color|white:I'm a facilitator, not an assassin.}}]}}
* [[Thanatos Gambit]]: His death is the final step necessary for summoning Lord English, who bursts out of his corpse.
* [[Theme Naming]]: Like {{color|#2ED73A| Lord English}}, his name is a billiards term.
* [[Time Abyss]]: He's almost as old as Alternia.
* [[Troll]]: Juuuuuust a bit. For example, after misleading the reader to the identity of his houseguest:
{{quote| {{[color|white:Someone who would have suspected anyone else is a person I would also describe as a sucker.}}<br />
{{color|white|HHaa haa.}}<br />
{{color|white|HHee hee.}}<br />
{{color|white|HHoo hoo.}}] }}
** And then there's mean mind game he plays on Karkat where he tells him never to turn his back on the bodies -- shortly before a few of them go missing.
* [[Villains Never Lie]]:
{{quote| {{[color|white:Deception is only necessary for those like you to achieve their objectives.}}<br />
{{color|white|I play with my cards face up.}}<br />
{{color|white|Isn't it funny how during our various matches, I can tell you what my moves will be in advance, and still win?}}] }}
{{color|white|I}}] }}
** He later adds that he usually doesn't lie, except at short to middle term for the purpose of a joke or a prank. Note that he only considers it a lie if you don't find out.
** It should also be noted that in his chessmaster actions, he never actually lied at all. Rose just assumed they meant the same things. ''He even pointed this out to Rose specifically''.
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* [[Wicked Cultured]]: Types in a very sophisticated manner, wears a dashing suit, and lives in an elegant English-style home.
 
=== {{color|#2ED73A|LLord English}} ===
 
{{quote box|[[File:lordenglish_hstuck_7860.png|frame]]}}
The enigmatic leader of {{color|#2ED73A| The Felt}}. An omnipotent, time-traveling demon who appears at the end of the universe, emerging from Doc Scratch's body, killing him. Of course, given that he can travel through time, only showing up at the end of the universe is hardly an inconvenience. [[Nightmare Fuel|He's already here]].
<!-- %% Based on what Andrew has said on his Tumblr, there's no indication English came from somewhere outside the universe to possess Doc's corpse, so Body Snatcher and related tropes DO NOT APPLY until we get information contradicting that. -->
----
* [[Badass Longcoat]]: His massive [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003153 CAIRO] [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005128 OVERCOAT]. Which has a double as a time traveling sarcophagus.
* [[Bad Boss]]: He cares very little for the Felt and his manifestation in the universe kills his [[The Dragon|Dragon]].
* [[Be Careful What You Wish For]] / [[Jackass Genie]] / [[Literal Genie]]: As explained [http://mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005953 here].
* [[Big Bad]]: As far as the Midnight Crew was concerned, what with him being boss of {{color|#2ED73A| The Felt}}.
** [[The Man Behind the Man]]: Is the boss of Doc Scratch, who manipulated the entire series to ensure English's summoning.
*** [[Bigger Bad]]: To Jack Noir, Doc Scratch, and Betty Crocker all, though he has yet to directly interact with the protagonists.
* [[Bling Bling Bang]]: His pimp cane [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006705 turns into a gold-plated assault rifle] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006706 with a laser sight and strobing ammo clip.]
* [[Call Back]]: To WV and CD talking to their kids. Invokes [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]] as it quickly turns nightmarish.▼
<!-- %% Body Snatcher does not apply as of what we know. -->
▲* [[Call Back]]: To WV and CD talking to their kids. Invokes [[Bread Eggs Milk Squick]] as it quickly turns nightmarish.
** English is basically an enormous demonic Lil Cal with flashing billiard-ball eyes... [[Foreshadowing|which is exactly how Hussie told Cal to dress]].
*** Taken farther; during Scratch's conversation with Rose, Hussie outright showed [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005531 the cue ball] and a lizard in a Green Sun robe inside English's coat.
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* [[Diabolical Mastermind]]/[[Retroactive Preparation]]: Because he can time-travel, he sets up all the necessary requirements for his own summoning.
* [[The Dreaded]]
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]: {{color|#2ED73A| Lord English}} is not only a mob boss, but also an [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004153 indestructible time-traveling demon, summoned at the end of the universe]. His eyes are rapidly [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scratch/room117.gif flashing pool balls.] The rest of his body is ''not'' any less disconcerting.
* [[Evil Counterpart]]: To the Genesis Frog / Bilious Slick. Just as the Genesis Frog is the Speaker of the Vast Croak at the beginning of the universe, Lord English is the Speaker of the Vast Honk at its end.
** Sort of one to Doc Scratch (the difference, of course, is that they're both evil); while Doc is affable and enjoys humor, English is violent and stoic.
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* [[Genius Bruiser]]: We haven't seen him plan yet, but from what we know, he's quite intelligent. He is also very large.
* [[Grim Reaper]]: Inspired the version in troll mythology.
* [[Gross Up Close -Up]]: His face may look goofy when it is viewed from afar, but when you see it close up... [[Nightmare Face|Well, let's just say it's far from pretty]].
* [[Handicapped Badass]]: When he emerges, he has a peg-leg styled after a billiard cuestick.
* [[Hero -Killer]]: Normal [[Hero -Killer|Hero Killers]] kill other characters. Lord English kills ''[[Up to Eleven|the author of the story]].''
* [[He Who Must Not Be Seen]]/[[Hidden Villain]]: His first appearance was after ''Act 5''. Prior to that, he was [[The Ghost]]; we only knew his title and only got to see his coat and eyes.
** All of his appearances ''so far'' have been during intermissions, and in places nowhere near the protagonists (the stuff in Jake's room notwithstanding).
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* [[Large and In Charge]]: He's built like [[The Hulk]], and his massive CAIRO OVERCOAT is way too big for most of the characters to wear without looking extremely silly.
* [[Large Ham]]: On the [[The Quiet One|odd]] occasions he speaks.
* [[Leitmotif]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20130922073309/http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/english English], used in the second Intermission.
* [[Lord British Postulate]]: He's rumored to be killable only through a number of glitches and exploits in space-time.
* [[Magic Pants]]: Just like the Incredible Hulk.
* [[Magic Wand]]: Has a scepter or cane similar to the White and Black Kings. The difference is that the scepter is gold, while the top is flashing multiple colors and is sometimes replaced with an image of the Green Sun. Also, it's bottom is a pool cue.
** [[Swiss Army Weapon]]: Can change into a [[Bling Bling Bang|golden assault rifle.]]
* [[Monster Modesty]]: Still wearing the torn remnants of {{color|#2ED73A|D}}{{color|white|o}}{{color|#2ED73A|c's}} pants.
* [[NamesName's the Same]]: There's been a lot of confusion with [[Ultima|Lord British]] in terms of name origin. Andrew later [[Sure Why Not|made the association meaningful]].
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]: [[Word of God|According to Hussie]]:
{{quote| ''LE is many things. A time traveling crime lord pimp. An omnipotent, indestructible puppet-based demon. A monster born out of an ancient, short, smug, cueball-headed gunslinger, the blight of two universes by his birth alone. An Egyptian pharaoh [[The Incredible Hulk|Incredible Hulk]] in shredded pants and suspenders with a green [[Saw|Jigsaw]] puppet-like skull for head, a gold fang, and flashing pool balls for eyes. And with his gold cuestick pegleg and long coat, appears to also be somewhat reminiscent of a pirate, and may or may not bear some tenuous connection to Skipper Plumbthroat, nemesis of all Squiddles, who have been clearly shown to be friendly cartoon-standins for the dark gods.''}}
* [[No Indoor Voice]] / [[Voice of the Legion]]: [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005976 Lord English's alt text is gigantic.]
* [[No Shirt, Long Jacket]]
* [[Offscreen Teleportation]]: He is already here. (Showing up unexpectedly is kind of his schtick.)
* [[The Omnipotent]]: See [[Physical God]] below.
* [[Only Known Byby Their Nickname]]: [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005530 According to Doc Scratch], '{{<span style="color|:#2ED73A|;">Lord }}English</span>' is just a title he goes by.
* [[Phrase Catcher]]: "He is already here," and variants thereof.
* [[Physical God]]: The most powerful character on-record in the comic; he combines both the time powers of the Felt with the reality warping of the First Guardians. The only thing he lost was Scratch's Omniscience due to the Cue Ball breaking when he emerged from Scratch.
* [[Pimp Duds]]: His CAIRO OVERCOAT. In fitting with the trope, he often enslaves and empowers women to do his dirty work, such as {{color|#2ED73A|SSn}}o{{color|#2ED73A|wwman}}, the Condesce, and the Handmaid.
* [[Punny Name]]: A reference to a type of spin used on a cue ball.
** His [[Badass Longcoat|CAIRO OVERCOAT]] is a pun on CHICAGO OVERCOAT, Mobster slang for a coffin. Its object double is a sarcophagus.
* [[Rage Against the Author]]: In Act 6 Intermission 2 he appears behind the fourth wall with Hussiebot's head. Later he shoots Hussie with an assault rifle.
* [[Red Herring]]: The trolls referring to an indestructible demon destroying their session [[Epileptic Trees|suggested to readers that Lord English was responsible for it]]. [[Jossed|This was deliberate misdirection]]; [[Word of God]] actually calls him a "red herring villain in that session to deter speculation."
* [[Red Oni, Blue Oni]]: Red to Scratch's blue.
* [[Shrouded in Myth]]: Very few characters have seen him. It's therefore surprising when Grandma English displays knowledge of what he looks like.
* [[Shrug of God]]: There's a lot of ambiguity about what exactly English even ''is''; whether being an omnipotent version of Doc Scratch (retaining his personality), an external entity that possessed Doc's corpse, or a general term for a natural stage that ''any'' First Guardian reaches, and those are just the most widely accepted theories. Hussie has avoided clarifying this.
* [[The Un -Reveal]]: No, [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005128 he's not actually] [[Author Avatar|Andrew Hussie]].
** And then [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005981 again], when he actually does appear. All we see are his eyes.
* [[Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?]]:
{{quote| <code>{{color|green|GGT: So im named after a demon? What kind of demon is named english anyway?}}<br />
{{color|orange|TTT: What kind of alien is named Crocker?}}</code> }}
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: "[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006690 CANE!]"
* [[Zany Scheme]]: Ties in with [[FinaglesFinagle's Law]] in that ''everything'' bad that has happened to our heroes is ultimately the result of Lord English's meddling. Crappy Troll society? Lord English. Omnipotent, omnicidal opponent who destroys the universe? Lord English. Queen who destroys ''her'' universe upon death? Lord English. [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|Betty Crocker from space?]] You'd better believe it's Lord English.
 
=== Her Imperious Condescension / The Condesce / Betty Crocker / B2 Queen of Derse ===
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In universe B2, she started a multi-global [[Mega Corp]] empire that is designated to be inherited by her great-great-granddaughter Jane Crocker (the post-Scratch incarnation of Nanna). Although presumed to be deceased, she is in fact controlling humanity through subliminal messaging.
 
She is eventually revealed [[Homestuck (Webcomic)/Characters/Trolls One/Characters|the Troll Empress]] in the service of Lord English, not that everyone didn't know already. She briefly shaped events on pre-scratch Earth before disappearing in an unknown fashion and arriving on post-scratch Earth. It is known however that she has somehow entered the B2 Session and became the new queen of Derse. In the future of B2 Earth, she has also openly taken over and flooded the planet.
 
==== Universal Tropes ====
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* [[Asskicking Equals Authority]]
* [[Big Bad]]: Of Act 6 thus far, though given that she's still in service of Lord English, presumably he'll prove to be the [[Bigger Bad]] or [[The Man Behind the Man]].
* [[Chekhov's Gunman]]/[[Chekhov's Boomerang]]:
** Betty Crocker was first mentioned as John's arch nemesis [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=001948 here] when John [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002878 discovers that Fruit Gushers are a Betty Crocker product and flips out]. It is [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003888 later revealed] that she was Nanna Egbert and Grandpa Harley's adoptive mother, and that Grandpa Harley inherited her business empire. Then [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005856 Nannasprite tells a story] in which it's revealed that she vanished without a trace, had many unspecified terrible secrets, and wasn't human.
** Her Imperious Condescension was first mentioned [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004341 here] in a description of Feferi's status. [[Word of God|Andrew]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20130302223920/http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread.php?31279-Spades-Slick-Chat-XXXVII-Tesseract-confirmed-for-best-poster&p=4016193&viewfull=1#post4016193 on the forum] mentioned that she potentially survived the Vast Glub <ref>Read the posts after that one too</ref>. Then in Act 5 she appears on panel and is confirmed to be Feferi's Ancestor. It is then revealed that she did survive the Vast Glub and is further implied to have become Betty Crocker.
** And now she's usurped the Black Queen and taken over Derse in the post-scratch Session.
* [[The Chessmaster]]: Her company sent Dave the Miracles Video two years before it would even exist, which Dave would later send to Gamzee, who would go on a rage-filled murder spree, and who also ended up ''causing the Universe Cancer to go terminal'' and ''creating Li'l Cal and Doc Scratch''. All that with a single video.
** Justifed in that she serves Lord English who is all about [[Gambit Roulette|convoluted plans]].
** Just to drive the point home, she becomes the [[Chess Motifs|queen of Derse]] in the post-scratch session.
* [[Combo -Platter Powers]]: Time magic, Immortality, Mind control, the vast resources of Alternian science, and being ''really'' good with her [[Weapon of Choice]].
** Revealed to have done 'experiments' on herself, adding moreso to her powers. While she herself has some 'life' related powers, She was given Clockwork Magyyks by Lord English. The added powers revealed so far include those of a Gemini Troll (Telekinesis), Taurus Troll (Animal control) and a Scorpio Troll (Mind Control). These powers portray themselves as a blinking zodiac symbol in her tiara.
* [[The Corrupter]]: To Jane, post-scratch Earth, and possibly the entire post-scratch Session by becoming the queen of B2 Derse.
Line 221 ⟶ 219:
* [[Evil Is Petty]]: She ordered humanity to stop reproducing - with [[Subliminal Seduction]] no less - apparently because she finds human sex [[Squick|Squicky]].
* [[Evil Overlord]]
* [[The Faceless]]: Averted, her eyes are shown and she is shown out of her profile when she is revealed to be the new Black Queen. <!-- Mindfang had her eyes shown in Seer: Ascend -->
* [[Good Powers, Bad People]]: She has mild Life powers, which contribute to her longevity.
** She also has time magic, apparently taken from the Handmaid.
* [[I Have Many Names]]: About six.
** [[No Name Given]]: Yet all of them are titles or pseudonyms. Her true name is still unknown, though Aranea refers to her as by the name of her alternate, Meenah Peixes.
* [[Power Copying]]: Stole the Handmaid's time magjycks and unlocked [[Mind Manipulation]] abilities that allow her to control animals and people.
Line 238 ⟶ 236:
* [[Challenging the Chief]]: How she got the position.
* [[Cool Starship]]: The Condesce's flagship, the Battleship Condescension.
* [[Duel to Thethe Death]]: With the Handmaid
* [[Evil Counterpart]]: To Feferi.
* [[Evilutionary Biologist]]: When her original plans to repopulate her race went bust, she resorted to experimenting with splicing human and Earthling DNA.
* [[Fluffy Tamer]]: Glb'golyb being the Fluffy.
* [[Four Eyes, Zero Soul]]
* [[God Save Us From the Queen]]: Her Imperious Condescension is a pretty horrendous ruler. She flies around the universe, cordially greeting new civilizations, and leaves her vast armies to rip them apart after she leaves. She's mentioned early on as seriously wanting to kill Feferi to avoid having to compete with her for the throne, and it's mentioned later that she's fought and killed a number of potential successors in the past, giving them equal terms in battle ''only'' because her lusus demanded it.
** She also ran humanity into the ground by trying to integrate troll aspects into their society. [[Ax Crazy|She did not give a shit about this.]]
* [[Immortality Begins At Twenty]]
* [[Living Forever Is Awesome]]: Right up until the Troll Empire was wiped out at least... but she seems to have her hands full on Earth and Derse.
* [[Meaningful Initials]]: The '''''B'''attleship '''C'''ondescension''<ref>It could be reversed given it's the Daedric alphabet upside-down and backwards</ref>, a giant red fork to a certain batterwitch's big red spoon... and [[The Un -Reveal|big red fork]].
* [[More Teeth Than the Osmond Family]]: Has adult-sized versions of Feferi's pointed teeth, and shows them off at any opportunity.
* [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast]]
* [[Orcus Onon His Throne]]: [http://mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005963 The Condesce] does all her delegating from her ship off in deep space. Her connection with her psychic lusus allows her to threaten entire castes of trolls with total extinction if they don't obey her.
* [[Slasher Smile]]: The Condesce is rarely depicted without a smug/sinister, shark-like grin.
* [[X Meets Y]]: Dirk sums up her powers as "all the [[X-Men]] combined into one sexy fish woman in a skin tight suit."
* [[You Kill It, You Bought It]]: The Condesce defeated The Handmaid, and then serves Lord English in her place.
 
==== As Betty Crocker ====
Line 266 ⟶ 264:
* [[Kick the Dog]]: Killed B2 Halley just to spite the infant Grandma and Poppop. It ended up propelling Grandma to become the first member of [[La Résistance]] against her.
* [[Mass Hypnosis]]/[[Subliminal Seduction]]: Betty Crocker products in universe B2 carry sinister subliminal messages telling users to obey and consume, to cease reproduction and die, and to stay asleep.
** They [[Shout -Out|bear a resemblance]] to similar messages from the movie ''[[They Live!]]''.
** Eventually she proceeds to invade Earth directly.
* [[Mega Corp]]: Type 1 in universe B2. Crockercorp owns not just everything that the real-world General Mills owns or has once owned (e.g. Olive Garden) but is also involved in software, computer hardware, space colonization, and Gushers.
{{quote| "THE HEINOUS BATTERWITCH HAS HER GNARLED CLAWS IN EVERYTHING. What do Gushers have to do with baked goods anyway??" }}
** It's also implied that Crockercorp installed [[Diners, Drive -Ins and Dives|Guy Fieri]] (of all people) as [[Richard Nixon the Used Car Salesman|Chief Justice of the Supreme Court]].
*** It's probably a [[Stealth Pun]] as his name is greatly similar to Feferi's.
** Averted in the pre-scratch universe where Grandpa Harley inherited the business after she vanished and turned it to more benign means.
Line 279 ⟶ 277:
** And then on 2X3PRONG DAY, the Betty Crocker spoon turns into the Battleship Condescension fork...
* [[Theme Naming]]: "Baroness" follows the pattern of the Troll Ancestors' eight letter names. "Batterwitch" alludes to Feferi's (and presumably, her) Sgrub title, Witch of Life.
* [[The Un -Reveal]]: All we know is that [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005856 she wasn't human].
** At this point it's been all but outright stated that she's the Condesce, acting as Lord English's right-hand witch.
*** And it was fully confirmed with ''style'' as Jane entered.
* [[Villain Withwith Good Publicity]]
* [[Villain World]]: Post-scratch Earth seems to be this, under her control. In the future she rules openly.
* [[Wicked Stepmother]]: To Nanna and Grandpa when they were kids, and presumably to Poppop and Grandma.
 
==== As the Queen of Derse ====
* [[Chess Motifs]]: Her company's heavy use of red plays into her role of usurping the Black Queen, as red is often used interchangeably with black in traditional chess sets. (See also [[Alice in Wonderland (Literature)|Alice in Wonderland]].)
* [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]]: Killing the dreamselves of the kids before the story begins.
* [[Distinguishing Mark]]: Her [[Anime Hair]]. The first clue we have of her becoming the new Queen of Derse is Courtyard Droll mentioning the new Queen's grand and luxurious fluffy hair...[[Cloudcuckoolander|which he thinks is a hat]] (though hair is a foreign concept to carapace people).
* [[Right -Hand -Cat]]: [[Oh Crap|It's]] [[Physical God|GCat]].
* [[You Kill It, You Bought It]]: Implied.
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[[Homestuck (Webcomic)/Characters|> Go Back]]<br />[[Homestuck (Webcomic)|> Return to main page]]
 
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Homestuck (Webcomic)/Characters]]▼
[[Category:Homestuck The Felt Two]]▼
[[Category:Characters]]
▲[[Category:Homestuck The Felt Two]]
▲[[Category:Homestuck (Webcomic)/Characters]]
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