View source for Honest John's Dealership

{{trope}}
[[File:used-car-salesman_7541.gif|frame|Is this the face of a man who would lie to you?]]


{{quote|''Vimes looked into the grinning, cadaverous face of Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler, purveyor of absolutely anything that could be'' ''[[Coat Full of Contraband|sold hurriedly from an open suitcase in a busy street]]'' ''and was guaranteed to have'' ''[[Fell Off the Back of A Truck|fallen off the back of an oxcart.]]''|''[[Discworld (Literature)/Guards Guards|Guards Guards]]''}}

You're in a sticky situation; you need to get something and there doesn't seem to be a legal way of getting it. (It could be banned, rationed, from overseas or possibly just made in extremely limited quantities). If you're unlucky, you'll have to visit [[Trope Namer|Honest John's Dealership.]]

These are the guys who'll attempt to sell you anything, mostly items that [[Fell Off the Back of A Truck]]. The prices are usually dodgy too, either too good to be true or obnoxiously overpriced. (The former usually catches more people out than the latter). All in all, [[Greed|their main goal is money]].

Like its cousin trope, the [[Friend in The Black Market]], Honest John can fit anywhere on the neutral or chaotic side of the [[Character Alignment]] spectrum: a good comparison would be the [[Jerk With a Heart of Gold]] [[Only Fools and Horses|'Del Boy' Trotter]] or [[Discworld (Literature)|Mr. CMOT Dibbler]] types VS [[Jerkass|Jerk-Asses]] like [[Matilda (Literature)|Mr. Wormwood]] or [[Complete Monster|Complete Monsters]] like [[The Third Man|Harry Lime]]. After all, selling malfunctioning blow-up dolls is a far more forgivable occupation then selling [[The Alleged Car]] that [[My Car Hates Me|hates you with a passion]] or [[Snake Oil Salesman|fake pharmaceuticals to orphanages.]]

Expect him to wear an obnoxious outfit ([[Unmoving Plaid|plaid]] suit jackets seem to be popular), record [[Insane Proprietor]] advertisements, and say "[[But Wait There's More]]" every other sentence. If this character is rendered as a [[Funny Animal]], chances are quite high that he'll be a weasel or a fox.

Compare and Contrast [[Friend in The Black Market]], who also sells items at a premium but at least guarantees he's giving you the good stuff.
See also [[Snake Oil Salesman]], [[Shady Real Estate Agent]], [[Why Do You Keep Changing Jobs]], [[Crooked Contractor]].

Completely straight examples tend not to last long in [[Real Life]], but we've probably all met one at least once. They're called "gray market salesmen," in business/econ terms.
{{examples|Examples}}

== Anime & Manga ==
* The '''N'''ight'''M'''are '''E'''nterprises/Holy Nightmare salesman in ''[[Kirby of the Stars (Anime)|Kirby of the Stars]]''. Dedede gave him nearly 100 episodes worth of payback when they finally meet personally.
** In the 4kids dub he's like a car salesman, while the original version is based on a polite and humble Japanese salesman -- but the roles are just about the same.
* Nabiki Tendō from ''[[Ranma One Half (Manga)|Ranma One Half]]''. In one episode she became Ranma's "financée", rented him out to her classmates, tried to get Ranma to break up with her and pay a "consolation fee", then tried to sell him back to Akane for anywhere from (what's equivalent to) $19 to $50. As she said in another episode:
{{quote| '''Akane:''' Whose side are you on?<br />
'''Nabiki:''' I'm on the side with money. }}
* In ''[[Vandread (Anime)|Vandread]]'', Rabat (or as [[Word of God]] said, a contraction of [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|Rat Bastard]]) is a Honest John. Only later we learn his true purposes, but until then, he sells everything from weaponry to cosmetics to ship drive boosters.
* In the manga and anime series ''[[Area 88 (Manga)|Area 88]]'', the base quartermaster McCoy is a prime example of this, stocking everything from toilet paper to nuclear weapons. He is not above tricks like placing a photographer's bag in the sun to force him to buy new film or selling faulty Sidewinder missiles at $20 each.
* Lina Inverse of ''[[The Slayers]]'' qualifies. In the very first episode, she actually haggles over how much she can get paid to save the town she's in from an attacking dragon, stating to her companion that "Necessity drives a hard bargain". A couple of episodes later, she sets prices for several items in her possession at 100 times the street price, and accuses the would-be buyer of having no balls for balking when he explicitly stated that he'd pay ''any'' price she named. Even her normally easy-going traveling companion was floored by that one.
** The same exchange occurs in the original light novel; Lina justifies herself to Gourry, saying that the extreme paranoia with which the buyer conducted himself (refusing to even specify which item he wanted to purchase until he was actually handing her the money) piqued her curiosity, so she deliberately named outrageous prices so that the buyer would buzz off long enough that she could have a closer look to find out what was so damn important about three valuable, but otherwise unremarkable, tchotchkes. Not that she would have complained if the buyer had actually ponied up...
* Pretty much everybody in ''[[Black Lagoon (Manga)|Black Lagoon]]'' who's not a [[Friend in The Black Market]], given it's a [[Wretched Hive]].
* The Magikarp Salesman that often appears in ''[[Pokémon (Anime)|Pokémon]]'' also acted as such, often tricking Team Rocket with useless things. A notable example was in James' first meeting with the salesman, where he tricked James into buying a Magikarp by making him think that it was essentially a Hand of Midas. James seemed to wise up and be very suspicious of any new encounters with him, although Jessie's a different story.


== Comics ==
* ''[[Asterix]] and the Banquet'' (''Le Tour de Gaule d'Astérix'') has a <s>car</s> chariot dealer selling Asterix and Obelix a shiny, sparkling, good-as-new chariot pulled by a strong black stallion... only problem is, the carriage breaks with the first stone in the road, and the strong black stallion turns out to be an old, battered white horse painted with black dye...
** There's also a Phoenician recurring character, Ekonomikrisis, who calls his slaves "partners with the right to row". He's just a humble partner ''without'' the right to row, of course.
* In the ''[[Super Mario]] Adventures'' comic serial, Mario and Luigi buy a Yoshi language learning book from a man named Friendly Floyd, only to find that it's worthless because all the sentences are translated simply as "Yoshi." Later on, though, Luigi manages to get help from Floyd in rescuing Mario from the Koopalings.
* In the ''[[Tintin]]'' series, our eponymous hero meets Mr. Oliveira da Figueira, a gent who manages to sell him a whole lot of junk, including a pair of skis with poles, ''in a desert''. This is also after Tintin assures his dog that he wouldn't be conned into buying anything he didn't need.
** Worse, Tintin actually points out to his dog how he AVOIDED being conned.
*** Depending on the specific translation, Tintin sometimes even points out that it was Figueira that got conned
* Played for laughs with Manolito from the ''[[Mafalda]]'' comic books.
* Cosmo, Camp Swampy's resident "shady entrepreneur" in the ''[[Beetle Bailey]]'' comic strip.
* Peter occasionally takes this role in ''[[BC|B.C.]]''
* Elvis Zimmerman in ''[[Piranha Club]]'' is one of them. Sid, too, who runs a shady real estate business.
* Honest Abdul in ''[[Beau Peep]]'', perveyor of tat to [[Cloudcuckoolander|Cloudcuckoolanders]] Dennis and the Nomad. A typical Abdul strip will have him reflecting that no-one will buy his latest product, then a [[Gilligan Cut]] to Dennis proudly showing it to a [[Only Sane Man|disbelieving Peep]].
* In ''Alan Ford'', the never-seen Bing (and perhaps his brother) is such a dealer. Sir Oliver is only ever seen conducting business with him over the phone, and then not buying but selling stuff fallen from the back of… well, everyone.
* One issue of Marvel's Transformers series had Big Steve, a slimy dealer who used every dirty trick in the book.


== Films -- Animation ==
* Disney's ''[[Pinocchio]]'' gave us the [[Trope Namer|actual Honest John]] who was a fox that cheated Pinocchio on several occasions.
* The Merchant at the beginning of the [[Disney Animated Canon]] ''[[Aladdin (Disney)|Aladdin]]''.
* Similarly, in the Disney ''[[Hercules (Disney)|Hercules]]'', when Hercules lands in Thebes, a man appears, opens his vest, and says "Wanna buy a sundial?" Of course, Hades himself would be this trope if his deals involved actual money. James Woods even modeled Hades after a used car salesman.
* ''[[An American Tail]]'' actually ''has'' a character named Honest John. However, he is more of a [[Loveable Rogue]] politician trying to get people to vote for him. Including ''dead'' people.


== Films -- Live Action ==
* The entire movie, ''[[Used Cars]]''.
* Reversed in ''[[Borat]]'' in which they wanted a really cheap vehicle just to get across the country, so the guy tells them that he can sell them a used ice-cream truck which isn't very well equipped but it will at least get them where they're going (i.e. the guy told the truth).
** It was a real used-car salesman who was being filmed, and thought it was a documentary, not a parody of one. The salesman [http://www.salon.com/ent/feature/2006/11/10/guide_to_borat/index2.html declared] "I just feel bad I wasted three hours of my time for 150 bucks. And I had nothing to do with selling him an ice cream truck."
** The website ''How it should have ended'' essentially makes the argument that Sasha Baron Cohen is an Honest John's Dealer delivering a movie that was (he assumes) not to most people's taste then telling them "so long suckers, you can't have your money back." 
* Bobby Bolivia, Bernie Mac's character in the ''[[Transformers (Film)|Transformers]]'' film, when he isn't masquerading as a [[Magical Negro]]. "Honest" enough to present an old, battered Camaro (which wasn't there yesterday) as a very awesome ride. Ironically, that Camaro turns out to be a very awesome [[Humongous Mecha]]...
* The Hutts are turned into this in the ''[[Star Wars Expanded Universe]]''. Understandable due to the Law Of Unequal Returns, but that part is never mentioned.
* Flash Harry in the ''[[St Trinian's]]'' movies. 
* Ferdy the Fence in the movie version of ''[[Stardust (Film)|Stardust]]''.
{{quote| '''Lamia:''' You'd better be telling the truth, you two-faced dog.<br />
'''Ferdy:''' I can get you one of them, actually. Very good guard dogs. They can watch the back and the front door at the same time. }}
* Limbo in Tim Burton's ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' grabs some random stuff from a space pod and starts hawking it within 20 minutes of touchdown.
* The [[Robin Williams]] movie ''[[Cadillac Man]]''.
* His goods may be a quite a bit more high dollar than your average Honest John, but ''[[Iron Man]] 2'''s Justin Hammer certainly has the attitude down pat as well as the [[The Alleged Car|cluster of malfunctions]], if the videos from the Senate Briefing at the beginning are any good sign.
* In ''[[Mad Max]]'', Max encounters a shady gas station repairman who tries to sell him repairs on everything but Max's car frame. It's implied that his parts are all stolen as well. Max is too canny for the man and escapes with his pocketbook intact. The mechanic ultimately foments Max's downfall, though unwittingly.
* ''[[Flywheel]]'' has one in Jay Austin (pre-[[Heel Faith Turn]], of course).
* The father of the bicyclist hero in ''[[Breaking Away]]'' was a used car dealer like this. He told one customer that the reason the car he was test-driving had stalled was that it had premium gasoline in its tank instead of regular, and had a heart attack at the possibility of giving a refund for a crappy car.
* [[The Three Stooges]] got in on this more than once. Including one time set in [[Ancient Egypt]], of all places, where they sold used chariots that [[The Alleged Car|were about as good as you'd expect.]] It had a truly comical line from Moe:
{{quote| ''"Greetings, friend! I'm Honest Moe, that's Honest Shemp, and that's... that's Larry."'' }}


== Literature ==
* This trope used to be named after Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, Ankh-Morpork's most famous entrepreneur and inedible-sausage-inna-bun vendor, from the ''[[Discworld]]'' novels by Terry Pratchett. The true CMOT Dibbler is, if nothing else, an excellent salesman for his ability to continue selling his horrible products, even after everyone knows just how bad they are. And, in addition to the first Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, the Discworld is host to [[Inexplicably Identical Individuals|a multitude of variations on the theme]], including:
** Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala,
** Fair Go Dibbler,
** Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah,
** Al-Jiblah (His self-harming descriptor doesn't come up, but probably exists)
** May-I-Never-Achieve-Enlightenment Dhiblang,
** Dib Diblossonson,
** May-I-Be-Kicked-In-My-Own-Ice-Hole Dibooki,
** Swallow-Me-Own-Blowdart Dhlang-Dhlang.
** Point-Me-Own-Bone Dibbjla
*** This has been described by the author as parallel evolution; he writes in ''The Discworld Companion'' that "Wherever people are prepared to eat terrible food, there will be someone there to sell it to them."
*** In fact, in ''[[Discworld (Literature)/Making Money|Making Money]]'', Dibbler's proper name is cited as Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler, meaning that it's not just a nickname based on his catchphrase, he really ''is'' CMOT Dibbler.
**** Alternatively, his name could have come out of the catchphrase, and was created to make his application for a loan more... legitimate, shall we say. Back in ''[[Discworld (Literature)/Night Watch|Night Watch]]'', before the infamous catchphrase had crossed his mind, his cart was simply marked "Dibbler Enterprises, est". It's entirely possible he doesn't even HAVE a first name.
*** Rincewind once observed that if CMOT Dibbler ever shook hands with one of his international doppelgangers, there would probably be some sort of explosion.
** While unrelated to the Dibblers, Heme Krona, proprietor of Camels-R-Us, in the ''[[Discworld]]'' novel ''[[Discworld (Literature)/Pyramids|Pyramids]]'' also qualifies.
** Mention should also be made of Hobson's Livery Stable, which employs an [[The Igor|Igor]] as a vet, but is rumoured to use his extreme surgery skills as a horse "chop-shop".
* Mr. Wormwood in [[Roald Dahl]]'s ''[[Matilda (Literature)|Matilda]]''. The tinkering with the cars differs between the book and movie. Maybe because the books is several decades older, and the Honest Johns had to update their methods meanwhile.
** In this case, he crosses the line into outright criminality - his entire business model is built on selling cars that appear to run fine, until they get about thirty miles off the lot, when the customer's Sudden Onset Unbridled Rage is suddenly aggravated by whatever means he should choose to use to prove he doesn't owe them a refund. He's also involved with dealing in stolen cars too.
* In ''[[Arthur (Literature)|Arthur]]'', Muffy Crosswire's super rich father sells used cars of questionable value, what with his [[Punny Name]]. Ironically, one of the episodes of Arthur reveals that he hates liars.
* In the [[Harry Turtledove]] [[Alternate History]] ''The Two Georges'', [[Richard Nixon]] is a salesman for used ''steam'' cars.
* Subverted in ''[[The Crying of Lot 49 (Literature)|The Crying of Lot 49]]'' with Mucho Maas, who -- during his time spent as a used car salesman -- was terrified of becoming one of these and developed a psychosomatic allergic reaction to pencil shavings and a fear of checked suits.
* The car dealership where the Joads buy their car in ''[[The Grapes of Wrath (Literature)|The Grapes of Wrath]]''. An unusual example in which this is not played for comedy.
* Milo Minderbinder from ''[[Catch-22]]'' begins as a light-hearted version of this trope, paying far more attention to his various moneymaking schemes than the actual war he's supposed to be fighting. However, his financial syndicate grows so large and arcane that he eventually bombs his own air base, firmly believing that it's in everyone's best interest because it brings profit to his investors. 
* Mundungus Fletcher from ''[[Harry Potter (Literature)|Harry Potter]]''.
* Tom Dennis Fitzgerald, the title character in ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Brain The Great Brain]'' children's book series.
* Jack from the book ''Little Men''.
* Silk from the ''[[Belgariad]]''.
** This is even somewhat lampshaded in one of the books, when he ends up receiving a bottle of Rivan perfume, and is unable to set a good price (In his mind this meant good as in making an exorbitant profit without setting it so high he'd be laughed out of the Fair), In the end, he gives it to Polgara, who 'thanks him for a princely gift', which only disgruntled him further.

* [[Robert Heinlein]]'s novel ''Red Planet''. Smythe, a student at Lowell Academy.
* Sylvester McMonkey McBean of [[Dr. Seuss]]'s ''The Sneetches'', who manages to con the eponymous creatures into repeatedly paying to use his star-applying and star-removing machines, [[Fantastic Racism|so they can remain "different from the inferior type"/indistinguishable from their former oppressors]]. He only leaves when the Sneetches are all completely broke, laughing at their stupidity. This being a children's book, however, [[An Aesop|they do learn a valuable lesson]], and stop discriminating based on belly stars or the lack thereof.
* Brax the Salesdemon from ''[[The Exploits of Ebenezum]]'' and ''[[The Wanderings of Wuntvor]]''-- complete with extremely obnoxious, loud checkered suit.
* This is [[Cal Leandros|Robin Goodfellow's]] day job.
* Jack from ''[[Enchanted Forest Chronicles|Searching for Dragons]]''. Telemain actually warns him not to pad the bill on a magic carpet repair after learning that he's doing the job for a princess and the King of Dragons.


== Live Action TV ==
* Most characters played by Frank "Yeeeeeeeeeees?" Nelson, especially on ''[[The Jack Benny Program]]''.
* The Ferengi of ''[[Star Trek]]'' are an entire [[Planet of Hats]] of scheming salesmen.
** Harry Mudd of ''[[Star Trek the Original Series]]'' is also an excellent example of this trope. (He ''thinks'' he's a [[Magnificent Bastard]]...)
** The same goes for Cyrano Jones, who's much like Mudd in personality -- he's just not quite as ambitious.
* Classic ''[[Twilight Zone]]'' episode in which the used car dealer acquires a used car that forces the owner to tell the truth.
** Lampshaded as a plot point in the episode "One for the Angels", where the CMOT Dibbler type uses his schtick  {{spoiler|to distract and delay Death, saving a young girl's life}}.
* Arthur Daley of ''[[Minder]]'' was definitely one of these. Played by George Cole who was [[Actor Allusion|known for]] his role as Flash Harry of the ''[[St Trinian's]]'' series (see above), Arthur constantly had his finger in a number of dirty pies which in at least one case did include selling shoddy cars, but was generally (at best) in the gray market, if not outright criminal.
* Rip-off Rodney in ''[[I Carly]]''.
* Del Boy Trotter from ''[[Only Fools and Horses]]''.
** In his first appearance in ''[[Only Fools and Horses]]'', Boycie is offered Trigger's car as part of a poker bet. His response: "You must be joking, I sold it to him!"
* In an episode of ''[[Due South]]'', Benton and Ray went undercover at a used-car dealership which was fencing stolen cars. While the real car salesmen were examples of this trope, it was subverted when ever-honest Constable Fraser proved to be an excellent car salesman simply by telling people the truth and helping them find the car they wanted. (Okay, and by inadvertantly being a magnet to female car buyers.)
* Explicitly lampshaded in ''[[Family Matters]]'', when Laura wants to buy a car from "Honest Joe's Used Car Dealership". Carl immediately warns against patronizing any business with "Honest" in the name.
* Mike Thecoolperson (yes, he changed his name) from ''[[The Young Ones]]''.
** Also, Reggie Balowski, the 'International arms dealer, scrap metal merchant and French cabaret chanteuse' of the Balowski family, to whom Mike tries to sell the unexploded bomb dropped on their house.
{{quote| '''Reggie:''' So, is that the atom bomb is it, eh? ''(sharp intake of breath)'' Oooh, naaaa, not in that colour, you know what I mean? See, that bomb, to me it's worth, well, a pony, couple of tortoises at most.[...] Tell you what, right, tell you what, come outside, I'll give you part-ex on a Reliant, right.<br />
'''Mike:''' Reliant? Thats a three wheeler, innit?<br />
'''Reggie:''' Usually, yeah...  }}
* Sergeant Bilko from ''[[The Phil Silvers Show]]''.
* Mr. Haney from ''[[Green Acres]]''.
* Sergeant O'Rourke from ''[[F Troop]]''.
* In ''Diili'', the Finnish version of the reality TV show ''Apprentice'' had Juhana Helmenkalastaja (his surmname meant "Pearl diver", which he had legally changed his name into), who actually talked a jeweller into selling him a gold bar for spare change. The incident, however was frowned upon by the big boss.
* Auntie Wainwright from ''[[Last of the Summer Wine]]''.
** And her counterpart Arkwright from ''[[Open All Hours]]'' (by the same author).
* The [[Starfish Aliens|mantislike alien]] N'Grath from ''[[Babylon 5]]''. Whenever a character needs to sneak around the station, he's there, willing to sell them plans, access keys, and anything else, for a "very expensive" price.
** Of course, N'Grath isn't ''exactly'' an Honest John, as he (she? it?) is also known to use and hire out hitmen if you don't pay her (him? it?); it (he? she?) implied to be some kind of crime lord, but since the B5 command staff can't pin him (her? it?) for anything and finds her (him? it?) somewhat useful at times, they more or less leave it ([[Overly Long Gag|him? her?]]) alone.
* Colin Mathews from ''[[Press Gang]]'', who has been known to sell, among other things, defective half ping-pong balls, cans of soft drink that stain people's faces green, homicidal "security" briefcases, and the services of a sadistic hypnotist. For some reason that is never entirely clear to the audience or the rest of the characters, he is somehow allowed to remain in charge of the newspaper's finances.
* Dan Aykroyd's early ''[[Saturday Night Live]]'' character, Irwin Mainway.
* The Dodgy Brothers from ''[[Australia Youre Standing In It]]''.
* Vinnie from ''[[Sreet Smartz]]''.
* Benke Bengtsson from ''[[Vintergatan]] 5B''. A rather extreme door-to-door salesman, you could say, who travelled around the cosmos in a yellow, truck-like thing, usually coming onto the protagonists' ''spaceship'' and offering to sell them an 'Intergalactic Multi-Tool'. Slightly subverted, as, despite his energetic salespitch causing him to be mistrusted, the Multi-Tool ''is'' actually useful (Or, as Benke says, "It's used for ''everything''!"). Looks like he actually ''was'' honest, for once.
* ''[[Hannah Montana]]'' has Rico's Surf Shop, a beachfront establishment that sells mediocre, overpriced food and merchandise, and has been investigated by the health department more than once.
* The ninth season episode of ''[[Seinfeld]]'', "The Dealership", features Jerry buying a new car from David Puddy, who can get him an insider deal. George tags along because hes positive that all car dealerships are Honest Johns and wants to protect Jerry. At one point in the episode Puddy and Elaine break up and Jerry loses his insider deal, so Puddy rings him up for thousands of dollars worth of useless junk and tries to sell Jerry a yellow car instead of the black he previously requested.  {{spoiler|At the end of the episode Puddy and Elaine get back together and Puddy happily admits the dealership doesn't even know what some of the expenses actually do. He gives Jerry a good deal, which Jerry blows by refusing to give him a high-five.}}
* Joey Jeremiah was the [[High School Hustler]] in the '80s versions of ''{Degrassi}''. He grew up to become a used-car dealer in [[The Revival]].
* Played for laughs with Junior Samples' used car lot on ''[[Hee Haw]]''.
* Private Joe Walker in ''[[Dads Army (TV)|Dad's Army]]''
* Furlow's garage in ''[[Farscape (TV)|Farscape]]''. There's nothing that woman can't fix, and nothing she won't sell to the one evil empire you really don't want getting hold of it.
* Averted/Played with on an episode of [[Newhart]]. George leaves the Stratford Inn and finds a job as a car salesman. Due to his reputation of informing the customers when a car actually was a lemon or not, he was given the nickname "Honest George" and would often be sought after by potential buyers. Another salesman tried to take advantage of this by [[Blatant Lies|saying he was Honest George. Even to Dick when he came looking for him.]]
* Kamekona in the remake of ''[[Hawaii Five O]]''


== Newspaper Comics ==
* Honest Ed from ''[[Garfield (Comic Strip)|Garfield]]''. As Garfield observes, his office is in a pickup truck with the engine running.
* Private Cosmo in ''[[Beetle Bailey (Comic Strip)|Beetle Bailey]]''; basically Ernie Bilko with a reduction in rank.


== Puppet Shows ==
* Convincing John from ''[[Fraggle Rock]]'' is a subversion of this in that he doesn't do it for money (of which Fraggles apparently have no concept) but for the lulz.
* Mad Man Mooney from ''[[The Muppet Movie]]'', who offers the traveling Muppets a $12 trade-in for ''both'' of their vehicles and claims a car that falls apart in front of their eyes is "collapsible, for narrow garages."
** He also has a "you pay the price you see on the sticker" policy. Although it usually means you're getting a lemon and no haggling, it proves to be his downfall when a slapped fly means that twelve-dollar trade-in means ''he'' owes ''the Muppets'' a nickel.
* [[The Sifl and Olly Show|THIS IS PRECIOUS ROY! A DOG CHASED ME IN HERE, I'M CONFUSED!]]
* ''[[Sesame Street]]''- the guy in the trenchcoat and fedora that ALWAYS cons Ernie out of his nickle.


== Radio ==
* British spoof radio comedy ''[[Radio Active]]'' featured frequent appearances by, and commercials for, a highly dubious businessman called Honest Ron, whose debt collection methods mainly revolved around half a dozen out of work jockeys with sledgehammers. Adverts for his extremely questionable products and services were invariably accompanied by his trademark jingle, sung in a near-tuneless drone which did not inspire confidence in the prospective buyer:
{{quote| ''Honest Ron, Honest Ron, the others are a con... Honest.''}}
* In ''[[The Navy Lark]]'' C.P.O. Pertwee will be glad to sell you anything from a pen lid to a Battleship (usually the same one he has sold to 3 other different people too). He has an extended clan of Pertwees that run the navy as their own personal supermarket. 
* The [[Firesign Theatre]] album ''How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?'' opens with a character buying a car from "Ralph Spoilsport", who definitely fits the trope.
* Sid James in ''[[Hancocks Half Hour]]''.


== Tabletop Games ==
* What do you get when you cross Honest John with [[The Mafia|Don Corleone]]? Probably something a lot like the Free Enterprise secret society in the ''[[Paranoia (Tabletop Game)|Paranoia]]'' [[Tabletop RPG]].
* The Yasuki family from ''[[Legend of the Five Rings (Tabletop Game)|Legend of the Five Rings]]'' have been described as "the Wal-Mart of Rokugan."
* One of TSR's add-on books for 2nd edition [[Dungeons and Dragons (Tabletop Game)|AD&D]] had an Underdark merchant playable class. As a class perk, this character is not only expected but ''required'' to moderately cheat any customers. If the character does a completely honest transaction, underdark NPCS such as Drow assume it's a ruse for something even worse and automatically attack.
* ''[[Magic the Gathering (Tabletop Game)|Magic the Gathering]]'' features a class called Mongers that...all have an ability that any player may activate, for the right amount of mana. Oddly, the Sailmonger grants any creature flying, which would be great...if she weren't blue, blue being the color that has the most flying already. The Warmonger, in red, has a similar problem, doing 1 damage to each creature without flying...and being in the color that is the most earthbound.


== Theater ==
* The Engineer from the musical ''[[Miss Saigon]]''.
* Thénardier from the musical ''[[Les Misérables (Theatre)|Les Misérables]]''.
* All of the vendors in the "Christmas Bells" scene in ''[[Rent]]'' (in particular the one who tries to sell Collins' stolen coat back to him).


== Video Games ==
* The ''[[Monkey Island (Video Game)|Monkey Island]]'' games have fast-talking salesman Stan, who in the course of the five games has run a used-ship yard, a funeral home, an insurance company, a timeshare agency, and a law firm. And who sports a [[Unmoving Plaid|highly implausible]] jacket.
** Subverted (at least in Curse) because after being trapped in a coffin for some time, he decided to turn his life around; the insurance company was actually a legit business venture, so it's a shame that you can only progress by outright scamming him.
* Tiny, the used spaceship dealer in ''[[Space Quest]] I''. Of the 3 ships you can purchase from him, 2 will crash as soon as you get in them ([[Have a Nice Death|one fatally]]). And the third was just randomly parked next to the merchandise, and Tiny simply decided it was his to sell. As soon as you take off in it, the real owner shows up and demands to know where you're going with ''his'' ship. 
** Also, Droids B Us. If you buy the wrong droid, it breaks down, just like the R5 with the bad motivator in ''[[Star Wars]]''. In the remake, there are two droids you can buy that will explode in your face and kill you. (One blows up [[Everything Trying to Kill You|with no warning]], the other if you touch it a 3rd time, being warned twice by the game that the robot is too complex for you to possibly handle [[Press X to Die|without killing yourself]].)
* Perhaps as a nod to the Ferengi are the Goblins in ''[[Final Fantasy XI (Video Game)|Final Fantasy XI]]'', who are pretty much Ferengi <small>[[Recycled in Space|IN VANA'DIEL!]]</small>
* The goblins in the ''[[War Craft]]'' universe were first given this characterization in ''Warcraft III'', where they peddled magic items to all sides of the war. It was continued in ''[[World of Warcraft]]''.
{{quote| "Time is money, friend."<br />
"I've got what you need." }}
* Almost every game of the ''[[World of Mana]]'' series features a suspicious merchant who is either an anthropomorphic cat or rabbit named Nikita. Sometimes he is playable, but he's always out to bring "happiness" to his customers. Like selling them overpriced glass beads as jewelry.
** At exactly twice the normal buying price, at least in ''Secret of Mana''.
* In ''[[Animal Crossing (Video Game)|Animal Crossing]]'', Tom Nook has almost complete control over your town's economy, forcing you to buy a house, and then upgrade it several times [[But Thou Must|without really giving you a choice]]. His two nephews work for him when his store is fully upgraded, so he's also into child labor. He even manages to get control over the hair industry, having a salon in his store. And it's kinda creepy how he stalks you when you run around his store because he wants to be sure [[Kleptomaniac Hero|you don't steal anything]].
** Crazy Redd also fits this trope very well- he sells counterfeit paintings, after all.
* Bosco from the ''[[Sam and Max Freelance Police (Video Game)|Sam and Max Freelance Police]]'' games from Telltale Games, mainly in the first season, where he sells the Freelance Police various overpriced (but strangely effective) [[Homemade Inventions]]. In Season Two, he's too preoccupied with his conspiracy theories to sell Sam and Max any goodies. He lampshades his role as a CMOT Dibbler, pointing out that he keeps thinking of the most ridiculous prices he can, but Sam and Max keep buying his stuff.
* The Melnorme Traveller-Traders of ''[[Star Control]] II'' act a lot like this, selling the player a variety of useful goodies as the end of (nearly) all sentient life steadily approaches. That said, without the information and technology they provide, the game is [[Self Imposed Challenge|substantially harder]].
** The Druuge as well: they consider profit to be of utmost importance, therefore they will do ''anything'' they think they can get away with if it will net them a profit. Trading with them can yield some useful items, but one must be very careful in how one does it.
* Costalot ([[Meaningful Name|it's all in the name]]) from ''[[Viva Pinata]].'' While she probably wouldn't sell her own grandmother for a buck, she is doubtlessly extremely greedy -- she doesn't cotton to window shoppers at all.
* Arona Daal of ''[[Startopia]]'' is the absolute epitome of this trope. He'll be selling you ''anything'' you're looking for, all top quality; swear on all six of his grandmothers' graves. And at those prices, too; he's slitting both his throats.
* Tristam the [[Ninja]] from ''[[Final Fantasy Mystic Quest (Video Game)|Final Fantasy Mystic Quest]]'' indulges in this.
* In ''[[Final Fantasy X (Video Game)|Final Fantasy X]]'', Wakka calls out Rin on the fact that, if they fail to defeat the upcoming Boss, everyone would be in trouble. However, Rin calmly affirms his confidence in their abilities, and charges them for his goods anyway.
** Which is actually kind of funny, noting that said boss is usually considered to be [[That One Boss]].
* The Magikarp salesman, both in ''[[Pokémon Red and Blue (Video Game)|Pokémon Red and Blue]]'' and the anime, where one is a recurring character.
** Easily subverted in the games. Buy the Magikarp from him, train it well, and you can have a [[Magikarp Power|Gyarados]] by the time you'd be able to catch a Magikarp normally.
** Also averted in ''[[Pokémon Black and White (Video Game)|Pokémon Black and White]]'', as buying from him is the ''only'' way to get a Magikarp in Unova.
* Ribald Barterman from ''[[Baldurs Gate (Video Game)|Baldurs Gate]] II: Shadows of Amn'', proprietor of the "Adventurer's Mart" has the lingo, but most of the stuff he sells is actually good. There is however a merchant in the first ''[[Baldurs Gate]]'' who sells potions who is this trope to a tee. (each potion will increase one of your stats to 25... And lower all the others to 3) 
* Murgo in ''[[Fable II (Video Game)|Fable II]]'' is a classic example. He sells you several cursed quest items, and while he offers a variety of clothing, makeup & hairstyle cards, and other items, most of them are merely [[And Your Reward Is Clothes|aesthetic in purpose]]. The real invoking of this trope comes from his spiel about items he's selling in the "childhood" portion of the game as well as the things he'll hawk when you're standing near his kiosk as an adult. He actually does have some real magical items, but only sells them to serious customers (read, those who can defend themselves against the monsters in the places that said items teleport them to.)
* One of the salesmen on Volcania in ''[[The Legend of Kyrandia|Hand of Fate]]'' is like this. If you keep gathering seashells, coins, and starfish for him (not required and takes a long time), you eventually become so pissed off you punch him out.
* Ali Chica of ''[[Quest for Glory]] II: Trial by Fire''. His goods are guaranteed the best in town or you no getta your money back. However he does sell two useful items: the map and compass.
* Gheed from ''[[Diablo]] II'', one of the two merchants in Act I, is one of these. He offers you a lifetime guarantee and a two-day warranty on all items (presumably on the basis that he doesn't expect you to last any longer as a hero in a world swarming with monsters). He doesn't, of course, in gameplay terms, charge any more than any other merchants.
* Saxton Hale from the ''[[Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)|Team Fortress 2]]'' supplementary materials is a [[Testosterone Poisoning|Testosterone Poisoned]] version of this. He actually PRIDES himself in selling "dangerous, cheaply-made products that catch on fire!"
{{quote| ''"If you aren't 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!"''}}
* In ''[[Recettear]]'' you are playing one yourself.
** Not quite - everything you sell is in working order, but you charge through the nose for it. [[Con Man|Euria]] is a better example, selling [[Sarcasm Mode|rare, wondrous]] items and accepting a wider spread of prices for them... with that spread centered at ''500%'' market value.
* [[Crash Bandicoot 1996 (Video Game)|Pinstripe]] is implied to run one of a classic variety in the epilogue of [[Crash Team Racing|CTR]]. While there's no suggestion of quality, he does apparently seal a deal more quickly once his tommy gun comes out. A less typical example in the same game that references the the trope title would be 'Honest Joe's Wedding Ring and Rare Gem Outlet'. Joe was convicted for laundering Cubic Zirconias.
* Splodgy Dave in ''[[Dragon Quest Heroes Rocket Slime (Video Game)|Dragon Quest Heroes Rocket Slime]]'' comes off as this (he definitely got the name for it), but [[Gameplay and Story Segregation]] prevents it from affecting the stuff you buy.
* In ''[[Endless Frontier]]'' practically half the people you meet all get a turn at this. It gets Lampshaded quite a bit too, especially the pricing part.
* In ''[[Dizzy (Video Game)|Treasure Island Dizzy]]'' you need to buy a boat to get back to the civilization. Conveniently, you meet a shopkeeper who'll sell you a boat for one of the treasures you can find in the game ... with no motor. For the second treasure you can buy the motor ... with no fuel. For he third you get the fuel ... but you still need to buy the keys for the motor with the fourth treasure.


== Web Animation ==
* Bubs from ''[[Homestar Runner]]'', who sells an astounding number of things, often at ridiculous prices, out of his concessions stand. Snacks, drinks, broken computers, letters that fall off his sign, stolen artifacts, questionable medical care, bazooka-flamethrowers that throw throwing stars, chicken beaks, VCR repair, paint, Internet service, and so on. In the email "pom pom", he even tried to charge Strong Bad for "face smashings" and "severe pummelings" after Strong Bad tried to pick a fight with Pom Pom. He also attempted to sell Coach Z ''a used napkin''. Twice.
** Also, he'll take anything for his wares, including cash, money, cash money, Quesos, first-born children, and organs stolen from Strong Sad. And pencil shavings.
*** Isn't saying "cash" and "quesos" in the same sentence redundant? It's not like Strong Bad was using a credit card.
*** Since he's the ''only'' purveyor of ''anything'' in Free Country, USA, he also operates the black market out behind the concession stand. Of course, since the concession stand sells dangerous crap, naturally the black market sells quality goods. The Cheat even has an adverse reaction to the ferret ointment (which is apparently what Strong Bad looks for in a tube of ferret ointment).
** And then there's Senor Cardgage, but he's [[Lampshade Hanging|well aware of it.]]
{{quote| '''Senor Cardgage:''' ''(standing on a lawnmower)'' Why, hello, Miss Trela. Check out Senor Cardgage's Intregway. Dump Tell No Mandy -- it's just a landmower moved bankways!}}


== Web Comics ==
* Akbar from ''[[Eight Bit Theater (Webcomic)|Eight Bit Theater]]'': present every time the Light Warriors turn around, ready to sell them anything they desperately need. What a bargain! Even if getting into one of his airships is tantamount to suicide. Why they keep buying from him... he always claims to be an [[Inexplicably Identical Individuals|identical relative]] that isn't anything like the others. And the heroes are just [[Idiot Ball|incredibly thick]]. It's become a running gag to show some device failing to work (often catastrophically), then to reveal via flashback that the device was purchased from one of Akbar's many, many stores.
** Opposite Akbar is Jeff, the proprietor of "Jeff's Discount [[Death Trap|Death Traps]] (Not To Be Confused With Actual Airships)". His wares aren't any better than Akbar's, but he's ''completely honest about it'', thereby earning the trust of Red Mage. Of course, the Light Warriors also like him because he kicks [[Butt Monkey|Black Mage]] whenever BM speaks.
*** [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/08/12/episode-318-buckle-up-its-the-law/ When I say deathtrap, I mean deathtrap.]
** Thief also occasionally dabbles in this line of work. For example, when the Light Warriors end up on a frozen tundra, he successfully sells blocks of ice to his teammates, marketing them as Ice Armor and Ice Spells.
*** He's a [[Exactly What It Says On the Tin|Thief]]! He is extremely greedy, steals anything <s>that isn't nailed down or/and on fire</s>, considers anyone that won't steal something that is nailed down/on fire to be an amateur, and then manages to sell it back to you. So he's stealing your money ''twice''. Oddly enough, the player character can actually do this in the ''[[Fable (Video Game)|Fable]]'' games.
*** He was at one point very honest about his bad deals. Black Mage declared him a [[Magnificent Bastard]] upon finding that satisfaction was not, in fact, guaranteed.  {{spoiler|To elaborate, a contract had a tiny, harmless-looking dot between the words "satisfaction" and "guaranteed." Magnified to an extreme degree, the dot turned out to be the word "not."}}
* ''[[Station V 3]]'' features a used-spaceship dealer/all-around scheming huckster named "Honest J!on".
* Subverted in ''[[Misfile (Webcomic)|Misfile]]''. The car dealer is "honest John" to a tee, but Ash is enough of a [[Wrench Wench]] to [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|play him at his own game]]. [http://www.misfile.com/index.php?page=144\]
* An ''[[Adventurers (Webcomic)|Adventurers]]'' strip features [http://www.adventurers-comic.com/d/0111.html "Honest Cid's Used Airships."]
* ''[[Tales of the Questor]]'' features Merchant Max, a rather slick secondhand-goods salesman who isn't above selling cartloads of (mostly) total junk to a drunk Questor. To his credit, he later gave Quentyn some really canny advice of how to bargain for the quest items that would be in someone's possession. Yes, this was an excuse to make the hero take on a ship's load of low power magic trinkets as trade goods, but the general intent is decent.
* [[Double Subversion|Doubly subverted]] by [http://www.viruscomix.com/page495.html this] ''Subnormality'' strip: after giving honest information about cars on the lot, the salesman admits he's a member of Vendeurs Sans Frontières and is doing this as a public service.


== Web Original ==
* Nicolae of ''[[Gaia Online]]'', especially in the manga where he fences goods stolen from [[The Mafia]] to people who want to visit the local Don... In-game, users are more likely to notice the fact that he charges real-world money (via "donations" to the site) for ''zOMG!'' [[Power Up|Power Ups]].
* Parodied in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc&playnext_from=TL&videos=bPVqPEU41As&playnext=1 this] [[YouTube]] video (warning: [[Not Safe for Work|NSFW]]).


==  Western Animation ==
* Cheddarman from ''[[Class of 3000]]''.
* Pete in ''[[Goof Troop]]''. Although you have to wonder how accurate the portrayal really is when you consider how relatively suscessful Pete's business is over the series. You'd think he would have been shut down at some point but he still makes a steady income; either he's not always as dishonest as he's shown to be, or the residents of Spoonerville are just [[Too Dumb to Live|too oblivious]] to complain about him too much.
* ''[[Rugrats]]'' had an episode play off the Grandpa's description of car salesmen being sharks, and it turned into a pseudo-''Jaws'' parody.
* Gwizdo in ''[[Dragon Hunters]]''; he negociates the contracts with villagers (while Lian-Chu does the actual [[Our Dragons Are Different|dragon]] hunting). One of his catchphrases is: "Can't read? No problem! Just make a cross here, here and here."
* Malfunctioning Eddie and the dealer who sells Amy her car in ''[[Futurama]]''. Not that Amy [[The Ditz|makes it very hard for him...]]
* Wacky Wally, owner of Wacky Wally's Weather Machines, who sells slightly-used devices for controlling the weather to supervillains, in an episode of ''[[Kim Possible]]''.
** It actually became a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] for Draken.
{{quote| '''Draken''': I'll take it!<br />
'''Wally''': Great, let's see the payment<br />
'''Draken''': No, I will TAKE it. }}
* In the 1943 [[Disney]] cartoon ''The Flying Jalopy'', [[Donald Duck]] runs into Ben Buzzard, the seedy proprietor of a "<s>wrecked</s> Used" ''airplane'' dealership. Ben is even nastier than most characters of this type; not only does he sell Donald the eponymous flying jalopy, he also attempts to knock Donald off as part of an insurance scam.
* The [[Looney Tunes]] short ''The Pest That Came to Dinner'' has Porky Pig trying to get rid of a termite. He enlists the aid of a fast-talking, shyster exterminator named Sureshot ("I'm here to help ya, son!") whose various schemes keep making things worse for Porky.
** Daffy Duck frequently played this type.
* Bluto often took on this role in the long-forgotten 1980s series ''[[Popeye]] and Son''.
* In one ''[[Tiny Toons]]'' short, Buster went to a bike dealer who claims his bikes will be perfect or [[Insane Proprietor|he'll eat a bucket of scorpions]]. Naturally, the bike fails to stay together for the initial "Warranty" length, and refuses to give Buster his refund or admitted that he sold shoddy bikes. Naturally, he makes good on his promise at the end ([[Edited for Syndication|except in the version that aired on Nickelodeon]]).
* Swindle, from the ''[[Transformers Generation 1]]'' cartoon (and comics), is a [[Transforming Mecha|giant transforming robot]] con artist. He once sold the rest of the Combaticons to the Russians (the equivalent of selling his own brothers), and has complained when being shot because it damaged his own resale value.
** His alternative continuity counterpart in ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' proudly continues the tradition with some blatant conning and extortion-at-many-gun(s)point thrown in for maximum profit. He's honest in that the things he sells tends to be exactly as he described them... but he makes absolutely no guarantees about not walking over and selling your opponent ''just what he needs'' to counter your expensive new upgrades and leave the fight at a standstill.
** Action Master Gutcruncher is arguably even worse than Swindle. While Megatron can tolerate Swindle because at least he's obvious about it, you never know what angle Gutcruncher is working.
* Trader Slick from the ''Jumanji'' animated series.
* ''[[Family Guy]]'''s Jim Kaplan. You name it, he'll try and sell it.
* ''[[Hey Arnold]]'' had Big Bob Pataki (beeper shop owner), who once said of gadgets he'd just discovered were defective "I'll make thousands!" The guy has no refund department, and was even shown in a later season episode telling off a woman demanding a refund for her defective beeper.
* Wes Weasley from ''[[Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'', who first appeared in the episode "Birth of a Salesman". It should be noted Weasley has a few similarities with Phil Silvers, namely his voice, clothing, and glasses. [[No Celebrities Were Harmed|This may have been intentional]]....
* ''[[Daria]]'' has a used-car salesman who is not only sleazy, but creepy, trying to pick up Brittany, who is in ''high school''.
* Eddy from ''[[Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'' is an Honest John [[Failure Is the Only Option|in training]].
* Hiroki Ishiyama of ''[[Code Lyoko]]'' is another Honest John in training. He's already quite good at selling overpriced concert tickets to the students of his school. Just give him a few years...
* ''[[The Berenstain Bears]]'' cartoon from the 1980s featured a con artist called Raffish Ralph as a recurring antagonist. He was eventually incorporated into the books and later, for some reason, renamed [[Meaningful Name|Ralph Ripoff]].
* Gil, the eternally luckless salesman from ''[[The Simpsons]]'' sometimes tries to pull this off, but lacks the backbone, charisma, and intelligence to do so.
** There was also that one car dealer that tried to sell Homer a car from [[Ruritania|a Eastern European country that no longer exists]].
* Pasha Peddler in the ''[[Jonny Quest]]'' episode "Calcutta Adventure". He might charge a lot for his goods, but he delivers great service for the money. For instance, when Benton Quest and Race Bannon are being pursued by [[Mook|Mooks]] in a mountain range, they suddenly find some skis and poles waiting for them to make their escape courtesy of Pasha Peddler, along with the bill. Obviously, they don't argue with such salesmanship. 
* Dishonest John, the villain in nearly every ''[[Beany and Cecil]]'' cartoon. He even runs a used car dealership some of the time.
* Al Swindler, he of the enormous nose, in several episodes of ''[[Garfield and Friends]]''.
* On ''[[Futurama]]'', almost any time Bender operates a scam business, he calls it "Honest Bender's [insert business description here]."
* Frenzel from ''[[Erky Perky]]''.
* A recurring unnamed Salesman on ''[[Jimmy Two-Shoes]]''.
* An episode of ''[[Rainbow Brite]]'' had a shady traveling salesman who conned Twink into trading the mine where the Star Sprites mine Color Crystals for some phony "color crystal seeds". The guy then proceeded to try and turn the mines into a tourist trap.
* The [[Dastardly and Muttley In Their Flying Machines|Dastardly & Muttley]] episode "A Plain Shortage Of Planes" has the Squadron getting a beat-up run-down plane at Bargain Bill's Used Plane Lot. Dastardly offers to pony up $10 for it (Bargain Bill asked for $1000, but he took the sawbuck if Dastardly threw in Muttley's medal).
* [[Danger Mouse]]: "The Man From Gadget" had DM and Penfold subjected to the dubious quality of the wares of Egregious M. Murphy, senior sales rep for Gadgets Incorporated. 


== Real Life ==
* In the city of Genava, Illinois, there are two stores that actually have "Honest John's" in the title. Honest John's Emporium, and Honest John's trading post. They're not really rip offs, just filled with a lot of cheap useless crap you'll never need but will have a compulsion to buy.

{{reflist}}
[[Category:Bargain Tropes]]
[[Category:Stock Characters]]
[[Category:The Trickster]]
[[Category:Honest Johns Dealership]]
[[Category:Trope]]