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I Have to Wash My Hair: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}{{Needs Image}}
A woman (and [[Always Female|it is almost always a woman]]), subjected to the advances of an [[Abhorrent Admirer]], indicates that she doesn't want to date him but is trying to let him down easy. Unfortunately she [[I
Named for the [[Stock Phrase]] that has become ''such'' a [[Dead Horse Trope|clichéd excuse]] that it doesn't let the target down easily at all, but instead says ''"I wouldn't go out with you if every other man on the planet was radioactive!"''
Compare and contrast [[I
{{examples}}
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== [[Literature]] ==
* Magrat does this in ''[[
** Its use gets lampshaded when after being repeatedly rebuffed by Magrat, The Fool convinces her to watch the play with him and that there's even a pump available "in case you want to wash your hair".
** A further lampshade later: To indicate that the Fool ''hasn't'' been asking Magrat out lately, Nanny Ogg says to her: "Your hair looks a bit grubby. It looks as though you haven't washed it for a month."
* When Richard shows up without his date in [[Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency]], [[Absent-Minded Professor|Reg]] muses about why she hadn't come, and asks if this was the excuse she gave. He adds that it's only for lack of hair that he has to participate in the school as much as he does. (It turns out that Richard [[What an Idiot!|completely forgot that he had invited her]].)
* In ''[[Help!
▲== [[Live Action TV]] ==
▲* In ''[[Help Im A Teenaged Outlaw]]'', Lady Devereux tells one of the servants in one episode (who is asking her out) that she will not be coming out with him because she is "washing her hair."
* Played with on ''[[Dawson's Creek]]'' when Joey tells Dawson that if he can't find a date for a double date, he should call Jen and tell her he can't go out because he needs to "wash his hair"
* In ''[[Kenan and Kel]]'', after being rejected in the phone with this answer, Kenan suddenly remembers that the girl he was asking is bald.
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* A different excuse in Kirsty McColl's "In These Shoes";
{{quote|''He said, "Let's make love on a mountain-top,
''Under the stars, on a big hard rock"
''I said "In these shoes? I don't think so"'' }}
** ...Also a direct subversion, since the next line is "Let's do it here".
* Lily Allen's "Knock 'Em Out" is essentially a string of these, ranging from the girl saying she's getting married next week to claiming she has to go because her house is on fire.
==
* Used in a ''[[Dilbert]]'' comic strip in which the titular character asks a girl out. She gives him this line and offers coffee at the workplace instead. Dilbert declines, preferring someone with "clean hair."
** Another woman blows Dilbert off with the excuse, "[[I
** ''Clue for the Clueless'' gives two versions of this excuse: The first is vague but plausible, such as "I have 'plans' this evening", the second is specific and implausible, for example "I have to wax my cat", and is generally reserved for losers.
* A ''[[Garfield]]'' book listed this line as a way for a girl to refuse a date offer from Jon Arbuckle, adding onto it "each one individually".
** The others in that book would mention listing here if they didn't venture dangerously close to [[I
* A variant shows up in a [[Jack Chick]] tract: The daughter of a man whose soul the angels and demons were fighting over gets sent to go wash her hair by a guardian angel so that her Christian friend would try to convert the dad while she waited for the girl to finish washing her hair (because apparently [[Jack Chick]] thinks that it takes hours).▼
* [[Riff Trax]] "Skipper Learns A Lesson"▼
{{quote|Narrator: "Larry said: Come play with us. We're digging a trench."▼
Bill Corbett: "Susan suddenly remembered that she needed to wash her hair." }}▼
* In the furry comic ''[[I.s.o.]]'' by Vince Suzukawa, when the main character Cody Frost is trying to work up the nerve to ask his crush, [[Gentle Giant]] Doug, out on a date, his [[Imagine Spot]] comes up with various reasons why Doug might turn him down. This excuse is one of them.▼
== [[Theater]] ==
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== [[Western Animation]] ==
* Used and promptly [[Lampshade Hanging|lampshaded]] in ''[[The Grim Adventures of Billy
* In a [[Flash Back]] episode of the animated [[Spin-Off]] ''[[Beetlejuice (animation)|Beetlejuice]]'', young Beetlejuice receives this blowoff from a girl he has invited to the prom. The girl is a skeleton with no hair.
* Used against Dexter on ''[[Freakazoid!]]!''.
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* In ''[[The Simpsons]]'', Barney announces to the bar that he has a date "with the crazy lady who's always yelling stuff in front of the drug store," and a dejected Moe sighs and says "she told me she was washing her hair tonight."
* Parodied in ''[[Doug]]'', where one of Doug's [[Imagine Spot]]s shows Patty Mayonnaise presented with a ''[[Dating Sim]]''-like choice between Roger, Doug, or washing her hair.
* In [[SpongeBob SquarePants]] when Sandy says she'll tear a new one to the person who caused Clamu pain, to prevent her from revealing he threw a peanut at Clamu he says "I have to get my hair cut!" and Sandy [[
* ''[[Venture Bros]].'' has an episode where Dr. Venture is pursuing another date with Charlene, or Dr. Girlfriend, calling The Monarch's cocoon. When Dr. Venture calls yet again for Dr. Girlfriend, the Monarch yells flustered, "Tell him you're washing your hair, or something, I don't care."
* Isabella states this almost word for word to [[Phineas and Ferb]] in "Robot Rodeo", but it's subverted since the phrase isn't used for the situation above; it's merely used to segue into [[Crowning Moment of Funny|one of the weirdest songs on the show]].
* In the ''[[My Little Pony:
{{quote|'''Rarity''': See? Dirty.}}
* In ''[[The Swan Princess]]'', Odette tries to use the excuse not on the prince himself, but on her father to delay leaving for the prince's kingdom.
{{quote|'''Odette''': I haven't packed or washed my hair, and Father, I get seasick!}}
==
▲* A variant shows up in a [[Jack Chick]] tract: The daughter of a man whose soul the angels and demons were fighting over gets sent to go wash her hair by a guardian angel so that her Christian friend would try to convert the dad while she waited for the girl to finish washing her hair (because apparently [[Jack Chick]] thinks that it takes hours).
▲* [[Riff Trax]] "Skipper Learns A Lesson"
▲{{quote|Narrator: "Larry said: Come play with us. We're digging a trench."
▲Bill Corbett: "Susan suddenly remembered that she needed to wash her hair." }}
▲* In the furry comic ''[[I.s.o.]]'' by Vince Suzukawa, when the main character Cody Frost is trying to work up the nerve to ask his crush, [[Gentle Giant]] Doug, out on a date, his [[Imagine Spot]] comes up with various reasons why Doug might turn him down. This excuse is one of them.
== [[Real Life]] ==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20100503135809/http://www.outpostnine.com/gaijin_smash/2009/01/japanese-people-say-the-darndest-things---version-xp.html This post] on [[Gaijin Smash]] discusses the cultural gap on date excuses.
{{reflist}}
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]▼
[[Category:Love Tropes]]
[[Category:Stock Phrases]]
▲[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]
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