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(Import from TV Tropes TVT:Fanfic.IfIWasYourNazi 2012-07-01, editor history TVTH:Fanfic.IfIWasYourNazi, CC-BY-SA 3.0 Unported license)
 
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...well, except that their part-time job is in the SS. Did we forget to mention this is [[World War II]] Germany and the Holocaust is in full swing?
 
A notorious little fic, ''If I Was Your Nazi'' takes Organization XIII from ''[[Kingdom Hearts]]'' and rudely shoves them into the Holocaust... ''without'' giving up their [[Draco in Leather Pants]] status. Roxas and Axel run around being horrified by the Holocaust yet never doing anything about it, while other characters from the game pop in and out at seemingly random intervals to do nothing of much importance. In fact, WWII Germany feels a ''lot'' like an average American high school... Horribly offensive to just about everyone who had any part in the Second World War, combined with absolutely awful {{[[Beige Prose beige prose}}]] and [[Out of Character|characters so out of character]] it's unbelievable, it's worth a read if you can make it through the first three chapters without throwing something at the screen.
 
Oh, and Roxas and Axel are gay. ''[[Sarcasm Mode|Big surprise]]''.
 
After about seven chapters, the author abandoned the project, and under much scorn, finally pulled it from Fanfiction.net. The ''Snakes on a Sora'' Livejournal still holds [[http://snakesonasora.livejournal.com/tag/if<!-- 20i20was%20i%20was%20your%20nazi a sporking of it]], however, and the {{[[The Fanfiction Critic}}]] did a hilarious review. -->
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This fic contained examples of:
 
{{tropelist}}
* [[Adolf Hitler]]: Basically presented as [[The Simpsons (animation)|Mr. Burns]].
** His speeches are no longer the rousing, exciting, theatrical affairs they are in [[Real Life|canon]]. Instead, they're demoted to boring.
* [[Aerith and Bob]]: The names of the Kingdom Hearts characters are completely bizarre in Nazi Germany. Or just Germany in general. It's made worse by the author giving all the characters [[Gratuitous German|inexplicably German]] surnames.
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** And you can apparently get from Berlin to Auschwitz, Poland by car in just a few hours.
* [[Beige Prose]]: Somehow, this story manages to make descriptions of tormented concentration camp victims ''bland''.
{{quote| Jews and other undesirables were being loaded into trains and were deported to extermination camps. Hitler was still a very prominent figure of the Third Reich.}}
* [[Being Evil Sucks|Being An Evil Nazi Sucks]]: Yes. Yes, it does.
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: "“This kind of thing is disgusting.” Riku said, sticking out his tongue in disgust."
* [[Double Standard Rape (Male Onon Male)]]: Averted in that the supposed attempted rapist (although it isn't quite clear how a starving, fragile and traumatised victim of a concentration camp would even manage to attempt to rape a completely healthy, strong and physically fit SS guard...) is hanged. Ouch.
* [[Everyone Can See It]]: Several other characters remark on how unusually touchy and close Axel and Roxas are.
* [[Evil Makeover]]: '''Christmas trees''' get one. The stars on top get replaced with swastikas.
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* [[In the Past Everyone Will Be Famous]]: Axel's dad is ''Heinrich Himmler'', who is portrayed in similar terms to [[Neon Genesis Evangelion|Gendo Ikari]].
* [[The Matchmaker]]: At one point, ''Heinrich Himmler'' tries to be this to Rikku and Axel.
* [[Not That There's Anything Wrong Withwith That]]: "The occupants of the house were clearly proud of being Jewish, not that Roxas had a problem with it." (Though being a member of the SS, he probably ''should'' have...)
** [[Justified Trope|He actually has his reasons.]] Namely, the fact that ''he is Jewish himself''. The lack of a background check when he joined the SS is [[Hand Wave|handwaved]] by stating that [[Artistic License History|Hitler just liked him that much because of his blond hair and blue eyes]].
* [[Out of Character]]: Everyone, obviously.
* [[Politically -Correct History]]: Roxas holds ''amazingly'' modern views on Hitler, the Nazis, and the Holocaust.
** According to this fic, the ''Holocaust'' happened "because people don't understand".
* [[The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything]]: Horribly averted in that Axel and Roxas go on patrol, visit concentration camps and seem to have active duty as SS members (all while bitching and complaining about how ''boring'' it is...)
* [[Those Wacky Nazis]]: Impressively, this fic somehow manages to mostly ''avert'' this trope. The Kingdom Hearts characters are nowhere close to being stereotypical Nazis (with the possible exception of Seifer), mostly because of the whole [[Draco in Leather Pants]] thing going on with the Organization.
* [[Understatement]]: According to this fic, being gay in Nazi Germany was "looked down upon". '''''LOOKED DOWN UPON'''''.
{{quote| "Hanukkah wouldn’t be accepted well in the Third Reich, so this wasn’t really any surprise"}}
* [[Useless Protagonist]]: Axel and Roxas frequently voice their very modern views on the Holocaust and Nazi policy but never actually do anything about it. Ever.
** Nor do they get punished for expressing these views, despite discussing them where other people could overhear.
* [[UST]]: Axel and Roxas supposedly have it.
** During the incredibly pointless Axel-Rikku date chapters, Axel and Rikku have more [[UST]] than Axel and Roxas. Hell, Rikku and Axel come across as practically [[Tsundere]] for each other.
* [[Wham! Line]]: "He frantically took a shortcut through a side alley and found himself at his destination. After walking through the doors, the redhead found himself face-to-face with Himmler, the head of the SS and Axel’s father."
{{quote| [[MS TingMSTing|Axel: *SPITTAKE* SPFFFFFFFTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFF]]}}
}}
 
{{reflist}}
[[Category:If I Was Your Nazi{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Kingdom Hearts/Fan Works]]
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