Jackass Genie: Difference between revisions

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What differentiates the Jackass Genie from the [[Literal Genie]] is sheer malice. This genie has it in for whoever has the misfortune of being its master, and will make whatever bizarre interpretation is necessary to make the master's life a complete living hell. A [[Literal Genie]] will grant the wish as is, with no additional magic good or bad. The Jackass Genie will be the precise opposite of the [[Benevolent Genie]], inserting the absolute worst, but still technically valid, version of any wish.

Wish for a hot girlfriend? The [[Literal Genie]] will give her a fever (Or maybe hook you up with a female Efreet). The Jackass Genie will set her on fire. Try to head it off and wish for an attractive girlfriend? The [[Literal Genie]] will make her magnetic. The Jackass Genie will make her attract ''tigers''. Wish for a beautiful girlfriend? The [[Literal Genie]] will give you a [[Brainless Beauty]]. The Jackass Genie will give you a beautiful [[Ax Crazy]] girlfriend who has [[Yandere|killed all her previous boyfriends horribly]].

In short, you just can't win; no matter what you wish for, the Jackass Genie will find a way to twist it so you end up worse off. And taking the [[Literal Genie]] approach of making your wish very specific is nothing but a trap when dealing with a Jackass Genie. Unless you know a rule that he absolutely ''has'' to follow, he'll just [[Moving the Goalposts|move the goalposts]] and screw you over anyway. "Oh, the words you used mean something else in a very obscure dialect in [[Another Dimension]]." Even worse is when he grants your wish normally, and then sets you on fire "because you didn't say you didn't want to be set on fire."

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A variation on the theme is for the Jackass Genie to interpret ''anything'' you say as a wish, [[Rhetorical Request Blunder|even if you didn't intend to make one.]] Suffice to say, never say "I wish I were dead" when this particular genie is within earshot. Your "wish" ''will'' [[Be Careful What You Wish For|be granted]]. Even the [[Literal Genie]] tends to have a tenuous grasp of the concept of hyperbole.

As you can plainly see, oftentimes the Jackass Genie just seems to be [[Kick the Dog|taking cheap shots at characters who are literally helpless before them]]. As a result, expect the Jackass Genie to be the clear villain in whatever work of media it appears in. The [[Literal Genie]] can be excused somewhat if they're just naturally [[The Ditz|ditzy]] or are trying to teach you a lesson [[An Aesop|about being careful what you wish for]], but the Jackass Genie can lay no such claim. If there is any lesson to be learned with them, it might be "if an offer seems too good to be true, it is" -- after all, this genie acts like a supernatural [[Con Man]], and you [[Greed|always had the option to walk away]].

Genie jackassery is a natural repercussion of the [[Genie in a Bottle|original mythology]] since most wish-granting djinn were demons imprisoned and enslaved by sorcerers (usually [[wikipedia:Solomon|this specific one]]) and are ''rather unhappy with their servitude''.

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* In ''[[Ah! My Goddess]]'' demons are like this in contrast of [[Benevolent Genie|Benevolent Genies]] of Heaven.

** When it's just standard wish fulfillment, anyway. If the wish involved falls in line with the demon's desires as well, they'll pull out all the stops to get everything right.

* In one of ''[[Devil May Cry: The Animated Series|Devil May Cry]]'' TV series there was a genie who offers to grant your wish, but he will not grant your wish to be rich or beautiful, because "it's impossible" or "I don't like the idea." Instead he will stalk you and wait until you say to someone: "I wish you die."

* In a chapter of a ''[[Doraemon]]'' manga, Doraemon introduces a robot genie that is literally this trope. Incapable of magic, the robot goes out to ''rob'' and even ''abduct'' people to fulfill Nobita's wishes. Though in this case, the jackass part is that it's a jackass to the people it's robbing/abducting and ''not'' to Nobita.

* Kameo from ''[[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]]'' fit this role to perfection (not surprisingly, as he was one of Dio's servants). He encountered Polnareff alone and promised him 3 wishes. Polnareff first wished for gold, and at first Kameo seemed honest, creating a glittering pile of treasure with no negative effects whatsoever. Then Polnareff remembered his guilt over not being able to save Sherry or Avdol and wished that they both be brought back to life. Kameo interpreted this as ''two'' wishes (giving Polanreff no way to escape the consequences), then leaded Polnareff to his newly-raised sister and ally...which were actually twisted simulacrums that promptly attempted to kill him.

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== Comic Books ==

* The 1990s [[Marvel Comics]] series ''Sleepwalker'' had a demonic genie named Mr. Jyn who appeared to [[Unlucky Everydude|down-on-their luck losers]] and pretended to grant their fondest desires, but actually manipulated his "masters" into letting him cause more and more chaos until he would be free to roam the Earth.

* Id, a ''JLA'' villain, started off as a [[Literal Genie]], granting a child's wish that everything was made out of chocolate, or Superman's wish that the Leaguers didn't have to maintain [[Secret Identity|two identities]]. When it reacted to a disfigured film star shouting "Don't look at me!" by turning everyone in the city blind, Green Lantern realised "It's getting creative."

* In Michael Dialynus's short comic ''The Knight Who Would Be King'' a [[Knight Errant]] helps an old man in exchange for a wish. Naturally he wishes to be king so the old man {{spoiler|turns him into a tree and carves a chess piece out of him.}}

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* During the the Inferno [[Crisis Crossover]] in Marvel Comics, the current Hobgoblin followed a group of demons to their lair, where he met their boss and offered up his soul in exchange for power. After he finishes laughing, the demon tells the Hobgoblin that his corrupt soul is worth nothing, but since he got a laugh out of this, decides to indulge his request for power... by fusing Hobby with a crazy [[Knight Templar]] demon outcast.

* In the first ''[[Excalibur (Comic Book)|Excalibur]]'' storyline, the team took on a band of alien mercenaries called Technet. One member of Technet, Joyboy, had the power to telepathically discern his victim's fondest wish and grant it in as unpleasant a way as possible. He was able to take out [[Intangible Man|Kitty Pryde]](who at this time had to concentrate to stay solid) by granting her wish for a solid body. A [[Fat Girl|five-hundred pound solid body]]. [[No Ontological Inertia|She reverted to normal once Joyboy was knocked unconsious.]]

* In [[Archie Comics]] there is an old man that fits this: he had with wish-granting powers, and Archie receives wishes that turn out to amuse the old man when they turn out wrong. Archie is so warped by anger over this that in a moment of evil, he wishes that REGGIE receive the remainder of his wishes.

** The moment of evil goes like this: "Are you kidding? I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!" (Archie's eyes glow with skulls for pupils and hellfire for irises as he gets an evil grin) "Or maybe...I would!" Which the old man provides. The first thing it leads up to? Reggie getting run up a tree by Moose.

* [[Demon Lords and Archdevils|Mephisto]], closest thing to [[Satan]] in [[Marvel Universe]], may sometimes dwell into this. Recently he decided to play along popular [[Urban Legend]] that sometimes devil may visit a bar and, if bartender will provide him with a good service, he will grant him a wish. When bartender asked for immortality, Mephisto dragged him to Hell, extracted all his blood when grinding him like a fresh meat and used it as an ink to write letters. Words are immortal.

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** For instance, the eponymous Eric wishes to live forever. He is promptly transported to the beginning of the universe, since that's when forever ''starts''. Enjoy the next couple billion years...

** He also wishes for the most beautiful woman and to rule the world. He gets a case of [[Values Dissonance]] and a country where people kill their rulers.

* In ''Shadowbridge'' by Gregory Frost, a tablet that grants any wish written on it mostly acts as a [[Benevolent Genie]]. The wish "Make them worship me like a god" seems to leave it fed up, though -- the wisher [[Taken for Granite|turns to stone]], and those nearby start to worship the statue.

* The Eelfinn in the ''[[Wheel of Time]]'' are like this. Mat mistakes them for their answer-granting cousins, and when they won't answer his questions, he starts venting his frustrations on them instead, which they take as his wishes. They grant his wishes in the laziest way possible, and the wishes also come with a price that can be negotiated. Since he doesn't name a price and doesn't specify that he wants to leave their realm alive, they hang him.

** Though he did end up with a rather nifty [[Anti-Magic]] artifact and a cool spear.

** Later, we learn exactly what happened when {{spoiler|Moiraine}} and {{spoiler|Lanfear}} passed into their realm in ''The Fires of Heaven''. {{spoiler|The Eelfinn grant both of them their three wishes. ''Then'' they torture them and drain them of their life-force, accidentally killing Lanfear in the process}}. Yeah, the Eelfinn are just assholes.

* In [[Diane Duane]]'s Rihannsu ''[[Star Trek]]'' novels, Romulan starships are frequently named ''Rhea's Helm''. The titular, legendary helm was the product of a sorcerer-smith who was asked to create a helmet that would make the wearer impervious to all harm. When the helm was donned, the demon she'd bound into it ''bit the wearer's head off''--nothing can harm a dead person.

* In ''[[The Bartimaeus Trilogy]]'', "demons" such as Bartimaeus highly resent the magicians who summon and bind them (well-deserved. It's basically slavery), and actively search for any loophole in the magician's power or orders. In addition to usual malicious literalness, one popular method they use is to creatively interpret pauses for breath as periods, rendering commands completely worthless if the magician can't get them off in one breath. Some spirits are more creative with this than others. Usually they ''do'' follow orders [[Literal Genie|as long as they are worded correctly without obvious loopholes]], but it is mentioned that Nathaniel once encountered one who allegedly required a command half an hour long just to correctly fill his bath.

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* The sandestin in [[Jack Vance]]'s ''[[Dying Earth (novel)|Dying Earth]]'' stories. They do their best to subvert the orders of the Arch-Magicians that control them.

* More the result of incompetence than malice, but the witch in ''[[Goosebumps|Be Careful What You Wish For]]'' crosses the line when Samantha Byrd wishes her enemy would just disappear - and then ''everyone on the planet'' goes with her. At the end, Judith says "Why don't you fly away, Byrd?" for the thirteenth time in the book, and Samantha is turned into a bird.

* The Nightwatcher from ''[[The Stormlight Archive|The Way of Kings]]''. She is a magical entity of unknown origin who will grant ''anyone'' any wish- but at the same time exact an ironic curse she feels is appropriate. POV character {{spoiler|Dalinar made an unknown wish some time ago- the curse was that he would lose all memories of his wife, and can't even hear her name spoken}}.

** It's possible that {{spoiler|Dalinar's is actually the other way around: He may have lost the memories in return for a curse}}. [[Cryptic Background Reference|It's unclear]].

* ''[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]'' has Mirri Maz Duur. Daenerys asks her to save his husband, Drogo's life, who has an infected wound. She can do it, right? She warns her that saving a life would cost another one. Dany cleverly asks if the price would be her life, for which the answer is no. [[What Could Possibly Go Wrong?]] {{spoiler|Dany's yet unborn son is killed, and while Drogo lives, he became a [[Soulless Shell]].}}

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*** The good news is that despite legends to the contrary, the 4e Efreeti can't actually grant wishes. The bad news is that they've cultivated enough connections and favors to perform a remarkable simulation. If you're kind enough to release one from servitude, it might grant a "wish" for you in thanks -- and actually uphold the spirit of the wish as best it can due to its sense of honor -- but it can also twist a "wish" or just generally make the rest of your (blessedly short) life hell if you try to force it into servitude.

*** The second Monster Manual brought back the actual Djinn (genies of air, described as "master engineers of the fabulous"), many of whom were sealed away in objects (like the traditional lamp) after the end of the Dawn War between Primordials and Gods. They don't grant wishes any more then the Efreeti do, but they are grateful to those who help them and will usually reward somebody who aids them considerably. Oppose them, however, and you're screwed.

** The effects of a Jackass Genie DM are arguably removed with the Wish equivalent psionic powers ''Bend Reality'' and ''Reality Revision''. They function the same as Limited and Unlimited Wish, respectively, but since Psionics is ''thought'', the power would effect the way the manifester ''thinks''. Intention over interpretation through the power of thought, no messy words to get in the way.

*** However, on that note, if you try to stretch these powers to far, it simply flat-out fails, and just wasted a bunch of psychic power and time to no effect.

*** On a related note, the Clerical version, "Miracle" is adjudicated by the caster's god- if they ask for too much, or something not following the god's philosophy, god says "no", and you waste time and a spell. and in the later case, the GM could reasonably have the god punishing the cleric for their temerity.

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*** In the ''[[Binder of Shame]]'', Ab3 of RPG.Net fame notes that some [[Killer Game Master|Killer Game Masters]] do this as their ''very style of running a game''. In the RPG.Net rant, "A Night At the Inn, A Day at the Racists," he recounts the tale of Psycho Dave, one particular such Game Master:

{{quote|''As you can see I soon realized that Psycho Dave ran a game in roughly the same way that Warwick Davis in the film ''[[Leprechaun (film)|Leprechaun]]'' [[Jackass Genie|granted wishes]]. Everything you said your character did was scrutinized for some way to screw you over and the dice ruled all. He was the only guy I know who used a random monster encounter chart for ''[[Call of Cthulhu]]''. You haven't lived until you've had a character [[Go Mad From the Revelation]] because he saw a [[Eldritch Abomination|nightgaunt]] sitting in a restroom stall reading a copy of the [[Artifact of Doom|Necronomicon]].''}}

** ''[[Ravenloft]]'' also has a monster called a Wishing Imp, a magical statue that you CANNOT get rid of, that will explicitly try to pervert anything even remotely possible to be interpreted as a wish... It DOES classify as a curse though, the idea is that you should want to get rid of it.

*** Similarly, the Dark Powers seem to spend a lot of time thinking up ways to give Darklords exactly what they say they want and take away what they actually want. Such as Strahd's desire to evade death bringing with it the deaths of everyone he cared about.

** The [[Deal with the Devil]] usually goes this way too, with the ''D&D'' devils being malicious but always keeping their side of the bargain. And you'll have problems with that, as they have literal "Lawyers out of Hell."

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*** [[Square-Cube Law]]+ [[Squishy Wizard]]?

** A story from the Tales Of The Ten Tailed Cat comic has three adventurers releasing a Lord of Tzeentch, who grants them all one wish. The first wishes to live forever, and is turned into a vampire and then killed by the dwarf. The second wishes for the power of flight, and is turned into a fly. Finally the dwarf wishes to be worth his weight in gold, and is {{spoiler|turned into a gold statue}}.

** Even worse, The Changeling (also a Tzeentchian Daemon): In ''[[Warhammer 40000]]'', he was "assisting" a rebellious governor who found himself standing on the wrong end of a [[Super Soldier|Dark Angels]] assault. The Changeling bargained the souls of the man's daughters for a device that would bring the siege to an end. It turned out to be the Teleport Homer for a squad of [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|Deathwing Terminators]]. Naturally, the siege ''quickly'' ended.

* This is one of the side effects ''[[Mage: The Awakening]]'' suggests to use on mages who abuse the Fate arcana. Bend fate so you meet a friendly, cute girl in the bar? OK. Do it over and over again? Turns out she's a pyscho-stalker, or she has an STD and 'whoops' looks like you should have used protection.

* In [[Exalted]], Infernals powered by Cecelyne can be this and are encouraged to do so.

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*** In the first game, the driver of Roadkill wishes to go back in time to undo the deaths of his platoon in the jungles of South America. Calypso tries to warn him of how dangerous this wish is, but grants it anyway. He is sent back in time and is almost immediately shot and killed at point blank range by an enemy soldier.

* ''[[Baldur's Gate]]'' 2 has a ''Limited Wish'' (and TOB a full-powered ''Wish'') spell. Just like the other D&D examples, it WILL twist your wishes if you are not careful. "I wish to be more experienced." makes it summon a horde of monsters for you to (try to) kill, for instance. "I want to go on an adventure like one I've never been on before!" sends you on a quest to track down someone's grandmother's gong from a variety of improbable characters... Wishing to be prepared against the undead makes it summon a group of hostile vampires while giving you no additional protection against them whatsoever.

** In this game, "being careful" means ensuring that your caster has a high enough Wisdom score to word the wishes properly, or by using "bad" effects to your advantage. Having the genie "summon an army" nets you 50 rabbits. Needless to say, a bunch of harmless, completely ordinary bunnies won't do any damage by themselves, but they make for a very nice distraction: enemies tend to attack the closest target, so if the rabbits are between you and the enemies, the enemies will waste turns attacking the rabbits while you pepper them with arrows and blast them with magic.

* Witsarnemitea of [[Utawarerumono]] has a little habit of granting some really jerkassy wishes, though it's mostly limited to his 'destructive' side. Want immortality? [[And I Must Scream|Have fun being an unkillable red blob for all eternity]]. Want to know more about me? [[Grand Theft Me|Have fun being my host while I possess you and destroy your id]]. Plus you have to [[Deal with the Devil|promise your soul into servitude]] to get ''anything.''

* TATARI, AKA 'Night of Wallachia' from [[Melty Blood]] does this. He manifests the rumors and desires of where he forms, but twists them all into his [[Omnicidal Maniac]] persona. A village hoped for good crops? He used their bodies as fertilizer. Two feuding villages desired peace? He killed them all, ending the conflict by proxy.

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* In ''Persian Wars'' your character will encounter a genie, and if he asks to never be thirsty, he will be turned into a fish. Later, on the same campaign, after a drought, you can ask a demon to make rain... resulting in him flooding the world.

* Used ''benevolently'' in the ending for ''[[Jak and Daxter|Jak 3]]'': {{spoiler|After granting Daxter's wish for a comfortable pair of pants, Daxter's human girlfriend innocently states that she wished she had a pair of pants like that. The Precursors grant her wish... and also turn her into an Ottsel so she can fit into them.}} Anywhere else, this would be a perfect example of this trope {{spoiler|except in this case, the ''Precursors'' are Ottsels, too!}}

** Earlier in the game {{spoiler|the Precursors (while talking through their floating hologram thing) offer to turn Jak into a Precursor. However, Count Veger shows up with a gun and demands that he be turned into one instead. You can guess what happens. While this may be an example of [[Literal Genie]] at first glance, keep in mind that during this scene, NO ONE (not even the player) knew what the Precursors REALLY looked like...}}

* In ''[[The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess|The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess]]'', one character asks a Poe for incredible wealth, so the Poe fills his house with treasure, [[And I Must Scream|paralyzes him, turns his eyes to gemstones,]] and [[And Your Little Dog, Too|turns his cat into solid gold.]] Ouch.

* In the backstory of ''[[Sacrifice]]'', protagonist Eldred summoned a powerful demon called Marduk and charged him to destroy the armies of his political rivals, who were rebelling against the empire he was stewarding. Marduk obliged by [[Omnicidal Maniac|destroying the entire world]], forcing Eldred to escape into another dimension.

* In the [[Interactive Fiction]] game ''[http://ifwiki.org/index.php/The_Djinni_Chronicles The Djinni Chronicles]'' you are a djinn who grants people's wishes. Apparently, due to the nature of the magic the djinn uses to grant the wishes, any wish-granting will inevitably carry something unpleasant with itself, no matter if the djinn wants it or not. The only exception are wishes free from 'San'--which apparently is best translated as 'selfishness'.

* ''[[Wizardry]] VI: Bane of the Cosmic Forge'' features the titular Cosmic Forge, which allows one to [[Rewriting Reality|rewrite reality]]. The titular Bane is its tendency to make what one writes happen in the worst possible manner. One minor character, for example, wanted to be loved by the queen and wrote as much with the Forge. He was promptly turned into a giant serpent because... the queen loves snakes.

* Erazor Djinn, the [[Big Bad]] of ''[[Sonic Storybook Series|Sonic and the Secret Rings]]''. Ironically enough, the one time he actually does fulfill a wish, he does them perfectly, and every wish is exactly how Sonic wants it.

* ''[[The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim]]'' has this with Clavicus Vile. Want to cure your loved one of lycanthropy? He'll give you an axe. Want a cure to vampirism? He'll have someone kill you. Want to end the Civil War? He'll do nothing, letting the dragons run rampant until everyone on both sides are dead.

** It's implied that he's gotten worse since his appearance in ''[[The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion|Oblivion]]'', where the player gave him an artifact which he used to [[Literal Split Personality|split]] himself and his [[The Conscience|conscience]], Barbas the dog.

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* In the [[Homestar Runner]] toon ''[http://www.homestarrunner.com/ween09.html Doomy Tales of the Macabre]'', Marzipan wishes on a crystal ball for a new boyfriend. Since Strong Sad is playing [[Killer Game Master]] with everyone's fates, she ends up with Coach Z.

{{quote|'''Coach Z:''' Hey there, my little [[Funetik Aksent|lovejorb!]] [[Gross Up Close-Up|These bunions, corns and calluses]] aren't gonna pumice themselves!}}

* Its a popular forum game to play "Wish Corrupter" the basic premise of the game is for Poster A to make a wish, Poster B grants it, but with either a literal or jackass twist. Poster B then wishes, Where Poster Q grants, and so on.

* In the ''Christmas Tree of Might'' special, ''[[Dragon Ball Abridged]]'' turned Shenron into one of these when Krillin wished for the best tree ever. Shenron was so flat-out pissed that he proceeded to summon space pirates to plant a Christmas tree (of Might!) that would consume all the joy in the world.

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[[Category:Villains]]

[[Category:Jackass Genie]]

[[Category:The Jerk Index]]