Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff: Difference between revisions

In between epistolary moments where he marvels about modern life, Biff pens his gospel, filling in a lot of the blanks. Ever notice how [[The Bible]] [[Offstage Waiting Room|goes straight from Jesus as a kid (about 12 years old) to the beginning of his ministry when he was 30]]? Biff explains that the two of them went east so that Josh could learn, from the Three Wise Men, how to become the Messiah. Along the way, they absorbed many Buddhist, Taoist and Hindu attitudes which informed Joshua's later preaching. Biff looks out for his best friend, tempering Joshua's [[Virginity Makes You Stupid|innocent stupidity]] with his own brand of ruthless, practical [[Magnificent Bastard|Magnificent Bastardry]]. The only thing that gets him off-balance is the presence of his childhood crush, Mary the Magdalene ("Maggie"), who is depicted as [[All Love Is Unrequited|having a thing for Josh]]. And, because it's a humor novel, all sorts of silly things happen, be it the names of Balthazar's concubines, the explanation of how the martial art "judo" came about, or the start of the Jewish tradition of having Chinese food on Joshua's birthday.

 

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* [[Adorkable]]: Josh comes off as a bit of this. He literally cannot help himself from poking anyone who calls himself an Untouchable, and finds it hilarious every single time.

* [[Big Brother Instinct]]: A big part of Biff's heart of gold is his constant and never wavering desire to protect Josh, not just follow him. The one time he leaves Josh, he's at a complete loss at what to do until he goes back. Even the monks noticed it.

{{quote|''"If I was basking in the light of his holiness all of the time, how would I take care of him? Who would do all of his [[Necessarily Evil|lying and cheating]] for him?"''}}

{{quote|'''Biff''': And this golden stuff around you, this light, what is this?

'''Raziel''': The glory of the Lord.

'''Biff''': You're sure it's not stupidity leaking out of you? }}

* [[Brainless Beauty]]: Raziel is...dense. This leads Biff to theorize that Raziel might have been the [[Ur Example]] [[Dumb Blonde]].

* [[But You Screw One Goat!]]: Played with, a ''lot''.

* [[Chick Magnet]]: Josh. Biff had a pretty interesting way of utilizing this for apostle recruits, as he demonstrates with Matthew:

{{quote|'''Biff''': Sad. You're probably heartbroken. That's sad. You see those women? There's women like that all the time around Joshua. And here's the best part, he's celibate. He doesn't want any of them. He's just interested in saving mankind and bringing the kingdom of God to earth - which we all are, of course. But the women, well, I think you can see...}}

** Biff suggests that Joshua's mom (you know, the Virgin Mary) has a touch of this quality about her, which doesn't help the family much. (Of course, Biff finds it [[Charm Point|charming]]...)

** Raziel. To quote Biff: "The angel confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become [[Spider-Man]]..."

* [[Continuity Nod]]:

** Raziel is later an important character in ''[[The Stupidest Angel]]''

* [[Cute Shotaro Boy]]: Jesus himself. The scary thing is, in context, it actually makes a lot of sense.

* [[Happily Ever After]]: Biff, {{spoiler|after finding out that Maggie has also been resurrected to add ''her'' Gospel to canon}}.

* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]]: Yes, John, you have. No, John, you're not.

** Joshua's opinion of this "sarcasm" thing Biff invented (at least at first, before Josh starts using it in ways Biff never intended, i.e., against him). Other noteworthy ones include matches and gravity.

** Likewise, Biff's name for a big barrier used to keep some barbarians out: The Ostentatious and Unpleasant Wall Of China.

* [[Hot Mom]]: This is how Biff sees Mary, whom he plans to marry in case something should happen to her current husband Joseph.

* [[Hurricane of Puns]]: A lot of them, but one stand-out is the [[Martial Pacifist]] example below.

* [[Jerkass Gods]]: While Josh is cool, his dad's reaction to his pleading for humanity is "Fuck 'em".

* [[Jesus Was Crazy]]: A corner case. Jesus isn't crazy (and in fact is portrayed as closer to [[Crazy Awesome]]) but he's distracted enough by the whole Son of God thing that he comes off as a bit loopy.

* [[Jesus Was Way Cool]]: Basically the whole point of the book, along with...

* [[Kung Fu Jesus]] / [[Martial Pacifist]]: Biff and Josh are taught kung fu during their travels, but Joshua [[Technical Pacifist|refuses to learn the bits which involve weapons]], and indeed any direct violence at all. Instead he pioneers a totally reactive martial art which would forever be known as "the way of the Jew," or "''[[Incredibly Lame Pun|Jew do]]''".

* [[The Messiah]]: Well, yeah.

{{quote|'''Biff''': You would have liked pizza. The servant who brings it is named Jesus, and he's not even a Jew. You always liked irony.}}

* [[Noodle Implements]]: This novel provides one of the page quotes.

* [[Shaming the Mob]]: "Let he who is without sin..." (Josh himself is played completely straight in this scene, and in fact in most of the book; it's Biff who provides most of the silliness...mostly. Josh gets some good ones in as well.)

* [[Shown Their Work]]: Moore's depiction of life in Palestine is reasonably historically accurate, except that he threw out anything that wouldn't fit the [[Rule of Funny]].

** There's also that time that Biff asked to see Raziel's, err, equipment...

** Legion himselves show up, to be banished into some pigs and drowned...which causes some unpleasantness.

** The demon Catch.

* [[Values Dissonance]]: Invoked - Josh's "drive the demon Legion into the pigs and drown them" miracle doesn't go over so well when the onlookers are a) Gentiles and b) the ''owners'' of said pigs. As it was, [[Torches and Pitchforks]] were involved.

{{quote|'''Joshua:''' What? If they were Jews, it would have gone over great. I'm new at Gentiles.}}

** Another good example of how Moore both pokes fun at [[The Bible]] and plays it straight. Peter takes one step and goes straight in. Josh teases him for being dumb as a rock, but also praises him for the strength of his faith, claiming, "On this rock..."

** Also played with earlier in the book when Biff would ride on his elephant's head while it swam fully underwater. He claimed to be walking on water.

 

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[[Category:Historical Fiction Literature]]

[[Category:Comic Literature]]

[[Category:Literature]]