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Line 1: {{~~trope~~work}}{{DISPLAYTITLE:legolas by laura}} Describe '''''legolas by laura''''' here.▼ ▲Describe ''legolas by laura'' here. Do we have to? Officially, it's titled "legolas." But this legendary badfic has become inextricably linked with its author in the minds of the [[The Lord of the Rings]] fandom, with good reason, and it is now generally known as "legolas by laura", complete with lack of capitalisation. The story begins with Legolas riding through the woods and finding a baby "whaped" in "colth". Thanks to [[Mary Sue\|Suvian]] influence, he picks her up, names her "laura", and goes to his house to show her to his father and mother. They then adopt her. Ten years later, laura asks Legolas to teach her how to ride a horse. He agrees. Soon after, Aragorn and Gandalf visit Mirkwood. Despite it being ten years since Legolas adopted laura, they don't know about laura. Sauron plans to kidnap her for no reason at all. Legolas and laura "horseride" through the forest and meet Aragorn and Gandalf. Legolas introduces laura to them. Later, they go back to Legolas's "castle". Legolas asks Aragorn and Gandalf if they can stay. They say yes. After having tea, they go to bed, and a random bunch of Orcs capture laura. The guards do nothing, and laura is taken to "Mondor". There, Sauron tells the Orcs to throw laura in a cell and do whatever they want with her as long as they don't kill her. The orcs "stripe" her and rape her, but laura fends them off by saying, "go away you bastard". Because of that, they "whipe" her and "bet" her almost to death. Then, Sauron goes into the room with a bottle of "posion", which he "injets" into her. A few hours later, Legolas, Gandalf, and Aragorn get to the front gates of "Mondor". After an inept shouting match, Legolas climbs up to the cell, while Aragorn and Gandalf "run" into "Mondor". There, Gandalf has a duel with Sauron despite the huge power disparity between them. Meanwhile, Legolas frees laura and kills the Orcs. Aragorn appears. In Sauron's Throne Room (presumably), Gandalf is having a "fun" time trying to kill the Dark Lord and wishes that the Hobbits were there. They then appear. Frodo tells Sauron that he got rid of the Ring, and the Dark Lord is destroyed by Gandalf. A few more hours pass, and Legolas and laura are on their way back to "Milkwood". She gets sick (due to the "posion"), and Legolas diverts the party to Rivendell, also a few hours away from "Milkwood". There, Legolas stands by laura's side until she wakes up. When she does, he kisses her, and she asks him if he wants to be her boyfriend. He says yes even though he's supposed to be her adoptive brother and laura is ten years old. They discuss their terrible experiences, and Aragorn enters the room. The story ends there, never to be resumed. The story can be found [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615115007/http://www.freewebs.com/me_gaya/legolas.html here], courtesy of the [[Protectors of the Plot Continuum]]. All The Tropes will take no responsibility for brain damage suffered should you choose to read it.<ref> [[Driven to Suicide\|Cttttlik! BANG!]] </ref> The [http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=legolas+by+laura&search_type=&aq=f dramatic readings] may help to soften the blow. There is also a review done by [[The Fan Fiction Critic]] for it, which might help more. And now a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IECKGp-tLb0 live-action trailer], complete with ''[[My Chemical Romance]]'' and a baffling shoutout to ''[[Megatokyo]]''. God help us all. There's also a riffing found [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5948484/9/Mystery_Science_Theater_1000 here] and a PPC mission [https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1PZ2DmYKQ2Z0-sW425KcdTXyUBkTURKfn8RiUxUKum44 here]. Compare with ''[[My Immortal]]'' and ''[[My Inner Life]]''. Line 73 ⟶ 56: '''Laura:''' how did you know that '''Legolas:''' when I was your age they did the same thing to me }} ** This fic being... this fic, it's [[~~Big~~Non ~~Lipped~~Sequitur ~~Alligator Moment~~Scene\|never mentioned again]]. * [[Wife Husbandry]] * [[You Fail Geography Forever]]: Mirkwood is ''not'' five minutes' walk away from Mordor, and Rivendell is on the ''opposite'' side of Mirkwood behind a mountain range. Then again, as far as we know, "Mondor" might be quite close to "Milkwood". Line 79 ⟶ 62: {{reflist}} {{Tolkien's legendarium}} [[Category:Describe Topic Here]]▼ [[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]] ▲[[Category:Describe Topic Here]] [[Category:Fanfic]] [[Category:The Lord of the Rings/Fan Works]] [[Category:Defunct Fan Works]]