Microsoft/Quotes: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
{{quote|"To have a heart-to-heart, you have to have two hearts."
|Novell chairman Ray Noorda about smoothing over relations with Microsoft.}}
{{quote|'''Q:''' [[Light Bulb Joke|How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?]]
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{{quote|Microsoft's... promised support for open protocols is always leveraged against or bridged to its internally controlled, Windows-centric standards.
Put it this way: If Microsoft invented gasoline and a consortium of vendors found a way to run car engines on Jell-O, Microsoft would support that open standard by building a 1,200-pound attachment that converts Jell-O to gasoline.
|Nicholas Petreley, ''Infoworld'', May 6, 1996}}
{{quote|After all, how do you give Microsoft the benefit of the doubt when you know that if you throw it into a room with truth, you'd risk a matter/antimatter explosion?"
|Nicholas Petreley, ''Infoworld'', September 16, 1996}}
{{quote|When I was one-and-twenty
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:Howe'er should I escape?}}
{{quote|The day Microsoft produces something that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
|Ernst Jan Plugge}}
{{quote|That's not to imply that Microsoft's marketing hype is always unreliable. Even as a longtime critic of the company, I must admit that Microsoft occasionally flirts with the truth. Well, perhaps "flirt" is too strong a word. Let's just say Microsoft sometimes honks and waves as it drives by her house.
|Nicholas Petreley, ''Infoworld'', June 14, 1999}}
{{quote|I love the way Microsoft follows standards.
|Paul Tomblin, sdm}}
{{quote|The code of tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. [But lawyers] often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: buying a stronger whip; changing riders; saying things like, "This is the way we've always ridden the horse"; appointing a committee to study the horse; ...declaring the horse is better, faster and cheaper dead; and, finally, harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
|Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson, during the Microsoft antitrust trial, February 2000, quoted in ''Wired'', November 2000}}
{{quote|Asked whether Microsoft could threaten Linux, Torvalds said:
|From the .sig file of Gus Hartmann}}
{{quote|There are lies, damned lies, and Microsoft brochures.
|''Brief History of Linux (Part 3)'' by James Baughn}}
{{quote|"Microsoft discovered that word processing was a "killer app" and killed off all the competition with it."
|Spotted on Slashdot}}
{{quote|Atlanta, Ga. - Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control today confirmed that hoof-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email application, believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus.}}
{{quote|Microsoft is a cross between The Borg and the Ferengi. Unfortunately, they use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming.
|Simon Slavin in asr}}
{{quote|"And now for some irony: Microsoft's print ads touting its .Net development tools as the solution for DLL hell -- a bit like a cobra advertising antivenin, don't you think?"
|Bob Lewis, "Survival Guide", ''Infoworld'', 7 March 2003}}
{{quote|Doing anything with Microsoft software is like doing brain surgery in the Amazon while being stalked by a leopard. They've built an amazing amount of really cool camping gear that actually makes it doable, but wouldn't it have been smarter to build a hospital first?
|Peter DaSilva}}
{{quote|All I know is that I'm being sued for unfair business practices by Microsoft. Hello, pot? It's kettle on line two."
|Michael Robertson, founder, Linspire}}
{{quote|If Microsoft is innovative in any area, it is in creating new forms of intimidation.
|Ralph Nader}}
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