My Little Panzer: Difference between revisions

[[Olympus Mons]] could be considered the organic equivalent; just replace "toys" with "pets."

 

{{examples}}

* ''[[Bakugan (game)|Bakugan]]'' should get a warning sticker of their own as of New Vestroia's second season. Good thing their real world equivalents cannot transform into their [[Eldritch Abomination|true forms.]]

* ''[[Battle B-daman]]'' launchers cause some pretty painful (if minor) injuries in the anime. Real life versions can put an eye out under certain circumstances.

* ''[[Crush Gear Turbo]]'': Crush Gear vehicles have a tendency to fly apart.

* Taken to the extreme with ''[[Danball Senki]]''. LBX literally have a military application and have been used in assassinations before. However, due to the creation of the [[Applied Phlebotinum|Fortified Cardboard]], it has become the most popular children's toy the world has ever seen!

* ''[[Medabots]]'' carry weapons that can damage the surrounding landscape, concrete and steel included. They're quite popular with the kids. Fortunately the live weapons have only appeared in video games. However this doesn't change the fact that the Medabots have self-healing capabilities and are VERY durable. If it weren't for the fact that their medals can be ejected with enough damage (or manually) these thing could take over the world.

* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh (Tabletop Game)|Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': Duel Monsters really should come with the following disclaimer: "WARNING -- May cause getting kidnapped by evil organizations, [[Freak-Out|Freak Outs]], [[Mind Rape]], the emergence of a [[Super-Powered Evil Side]], summoning of [[Eldritch Abomination]]s, [[Grand Theft Me|soul-stealing]], and various physical hazards up to and including ''death''. Not for [[Loners Are Freaks|loners]] or anyone with [[Parental Issues]]." ([[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|Not to mention]] skipping school and [[Crack is Cheaper|going broke]].) Note to Pegasus: never design a children's card game based on ancient Egyptian mythology. ''Especially'' if you have an ancient Egyptian [[Artifact of Doom]] implanted in your eye socket!

 

* ''[[The Beano]]'' had a long-running strip featuring "General Jumbo", a schoolboy who had a fully functional remote-control set of toy soldiers and military vehicles created for him by a friendly neighbourhood [[Mad Scientist]]. He used them to fight crime. A number of British comic creators have gone on to create [[Expy|Expies]], most notably Robin "Toybox" Slinger and her father "Colonel Lilliput" in ''[[Top Ten]]'' and "General Tubbs" in ''[[Jack Staff]]''.

 

== Fan Works ==

* The short story ''Bobo's Star'' has kids in the future being given their own miniature star-creation kits at home. The titular character's star turns into a black hole and devours the Earth because [[Not Now, Kiddo|nobody would listen to him]].

* The [[Stephen King]] story "Battleground", part of the "Night Shift" collection, has a hitman who killed a toy designer attacked by an army of toy soldiers, complete with air support. {{spoiler|They eventually kill him by breaking out a tiny nuclear weapon.}}

* ''[[Harry Potter (novel)|Harry Potter]]''

** Playing cards that [[Made of Explodium|explode]], albeit without much force.

* [[Confessions of Georgia Nicolson|Georgia Nicolson]] worries about her little sister's "Pantalitzer" doll, described as having a terrifying face, steel forks for hands, and easily detachable parts that hurt when thrown at Georgia.

 

* In the 70's, ''[[Saturday Night Live]]'' had toy maker Irwin Mainway (played Dan Aykroyd) appear on a consumer watchdog show called "Consumer Probe", and hopelessly defend his company's extremely dodgy and dangerous products, and drawing comparisons with the dangers of actual commonplace products. Of note was an episode where he attempted to defend a series of Halloween costumes, including "Johnny Space Commander Mask" (simply a plastic bag and a rubber band), "The Invisible Pedestrian" ("NOT FOR BLIND KIDS!"), "Johnny Combat" (which comes with an actual working rifle, ammo not included. Allegedly popular in Detroit), and "Johnny Human Torch" (oil-soaked rags and an oversized torch. "It lights up the night!")

** Then you got "Bag O' Glass", along with its spin-offs Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, and last but not least, Bag O' Sulfuric Acid.

** One of those pathetic attempts to defend his products involved a harmless toy phone; Mainway argued kids could choke themselves with the long stretchy cord. These days, what with the CPSC wiping out long cords of all sorts on kids' toys, the dangerous phone is a [[Funny Aneurysm Moment|funny aneurysm]] (much like most things on ''SNL'').

** Lots of the ''SNL'''s fake toy commercials are for toys that would no way in Hell be sold in real life (whether it's because they're physically dangerous, will cause complaints from [[Moral Guardians]] who think that kids are impressionable enough to be screwed up by what they play with, or are just plain useless and/or lame). Some examples include: Gangsta Bitch Barbie (comes with Jolly Ranchers, a pack of Newport cigarettes, and a restraining order against her boyfriend Tupac Ken), Nerf Crotch Bats, Big Red (A viking who sprays massive gushers of blood-red liquid), Litter Critters (using cat crap to make clay figurines), and the recent dangerous toy commercial, Li'l Poundcake (a doll that administers vaccinations against the HP virus for girls under 10).

* ''Merrick And Rosso'' had a sketch involving two modified remote controlled toys from hell; One being a [[Thomas the Tank Engine]] with a buzzsaw on the front, the other being a Barbie-style van with a [[Kill It with Fire|flamethrower]], both tearing up mundane toys. (Except the official Merrick and Rosso [[Non-Action Guy|inaction]] figures)

'''Maxwell Smart, Agent 86''': No 99, the real credit belongs to these toys. After all, we had at our disposal every fiendish and destructive plaything ever devised for the pleasure of little children. Those poor devils, all they had were real guns and bullets. }}

* In [[Loriot]]'s classic sketch ''Weihnachten bei Hoppenstedts'' (''Christmas at Hoppenstedts'''), Father Hoppenstedt buys for his son a model nuclear power plant. It makes "[[Stuff Blowing Up|poof!]]" if you did a mistake while assembling it.

 

== Music ==

* The foot-tall Robos of ''[[Custom Robo]]'' are actually pretty harmless themselves, despite being able to shoot lasers, bombs, or [[Abnormal Ammo|swords]]. They can only work within specialized arenas called Holosseums. Except illegal parts can do rather horrible things to whoever uses them, and the local [[Eldritch Abomination|Cthulhu]] happens to have accidentally possessed one. These behaviors might be excusable, since they're not well known. The part where losing in a Holosseum knocks you head first into the ground and quite often knocks you unconscious might not pass the CSPA muster.

** That last bit happens only when the "safety switch" is off, which allows the robos to use their abilities to the fullest extent. Regular, day-to-day Holosseum battles are basically massive [[Nerf]]s of the robos so that no one is hurt. Illegal parts are actually capable of ''killing'' someone if the switch is off (though this is rare, even with the ridiculously powerful illegal parts)... this is why they're '''illegal'''.

 

== Web Animation ==

 

* ''[[Narbonic]]'': In "A Week of December 18th Story", a parody of ''[[A Christmas Story]]'', little (future [[Mad Scientist]]) Helen's Christmas toy of choice is the BioBeam 8000 gamma irradiator with 5-liter containment chamber, cesium 137 radiation source, optional remote monitoring station, and a thing on top that tells the time.

*** Except for the thing on the top that tells the time.

* ''[[Girl Genius]]'' presents... [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110209 Castle Heterodyne nursery]! With a doll of a [[Monster Clown]] to end all [[Monster Clown]]s (possibly by rolling them into one big clownball and then ripping it into ribbons).

 

== Western Animation ==

{{quote|'''Number 4:''' They ''sell'' these things?

'''Number 5:''' Well, they ain't cheap. }}

* In ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'', Homer buys Maggie an Army Base playset with actually working, '''explosive''' missiles. When Marge points out how dangerous it is, Homer claims it's perfectly safe, but is stabbed, maimed and shot by the toy.

{{quote|'''Reporter:''' What about that little boy who got appendicitis from eating your cereal?

'''Sideshow Mel:''' Er, Krusty, that wasn't the metal one, that was a regular Krusty O.

'''Krusty:''' It's poison! }}

* On ''[[Squidbillies]]'', Dan Halen Industries sold a baby crib that was so dangerous, critics called it a "Baby Deathtrap". The company sued for trademark infringement, as it sold actual Baby Deathtraps: teddy bears bristling with electric spikes.

* An episode of ''[[Yin Yang Yo!|Yin Yang Yo]]'' had a villain who manufactured these because he loved money and hated children. The most memorable and blatant were probably "Eyebiters", which were exactly what they say on the tin.

* An episode of ''[[Robotboy]]'' had a store clerk copying Robotboy's image to create "[[Shoddy Knockoff Product|Roboboys]]" (note the omission of the 'T') that predictably went berserk. To differentiate them from Robotboy the horns, lower legs, and hands came in a multitude of colors.

* [[Averted Trope]] in just the setting you might expect to find this in, what with all the talk/creation of [[Your Mileage May Vary|dangerous]] summer activities in ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]''. The toys we've been shown seem to go the opposite direction, including such gems as Shimmy Jimmy, Little Mary [[MacGuffin]], Perry the Platypus: Inaction Figure and [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|Brick]] <ref>[[Blatant Lies|It's fun]].</ref>

 

== Truth In Television ==

 

* The most infamous: Lawn Darts. Which are large, heavy, metal tipped darts that kids are given to throw at targets placed on their lawn. Needless to say, throwing spearlike "toys" is not a good idea.

* The Atomic Energy Lab pictured above was a real toy. In 1951, A.C. Gilbert introduced his U-238 Atomic Energy Lab, a radioactive learning set we can only assume was fun for the whole math club. For a mere $49.50,<ref>According to [http://www.measuringworth.com/uscompare/ this site], the price would come out to somewhere in the range of $700 to $800 in 2013. Even the latest-generation video game consoles on the day of release aren't worth that much!</ref> the kit came complete with three "very low-level" radioactive sources<ref>Which wouldn't be at all dangerous to handle, but are extremely toxic if ingested.</ref>, a Geiger-Mueller radiation counter, a Wilson cloud chamber (to see paths of alpha particles), a spinthariscope (to see "live" radioactive disintegration), four samples of uranium-bearing ores, and an electroscope to measure radioactivity.

** [http://unitednuclear.com/ These guys] can hook you up, but it's not in one convenient set. And will run you a bit more than half a c-note.

** The Walther P-38 version of Megatron was yet again redesigned as "Masterpiece" Megatron, now with a far more detailed and intricate transformation scheme. He still turned into a Walther P-38, but now one nearly twice the size of the actual weapon. It was not allowed to enter the US without a neon orange safety plug in the barrel, even though it ships in robot mode.

** The newest Walther P-38 Megatron toy, a Legends-class (read: really small) figure released in the 2011 "Reveal the Shield" line, still has an orange tip on its barrel, despite measuring about three inches from front to back.

* The Cabbage Patch Kids Snacktime Kid. Note to manufacturers: when building a toy that chews anything put between its teeth, including fingers and hair, '''install an OFF switch!'''

** There ''was'' one—remove the backpack and the doll shuts off—but this was only documented in the instruction book, and who reads the instructions on a ''doll?''

** The list exaggerates with the Kinder Surprise case, they are still sold in Canada, Mexico, Peru, much of Europe, and Argentina (among other places) and no one was stupid enough to swallow the toys, it just requires common sense.

* [[wikipedia:Aqua Dots#Recall|Bindeez]] (the precursor of Aqua Dots) were recalled due to the factory substituting a cheaper chemical that becomes GHB in the stomach if you swallowed them. Since they are so small, swallowing them is not a problem. They were re-released as Beados "Featuring the new bead formula."

* Similar to the ''Beyblade'' example at the top, Pogs could be painful but not especially harmful if one of the striker discs ricocheted... until some enterprising manufacturers decided to make ''small metal throwing stars'' to fit the role. How they got away with those boggles the mind.

** Likely because its edges were blunted. Yes, it's fine because, while it may have points, the heavy chunk of metal's edges are blunt.

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]

[[Category:Just for Pun]]