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{{trope}}
[[File:atomic-energy-lab-.jpg|link=Aluminum Christmas Trees|
{{quote|'''Yogurt:''' [[The Merch|Merchandising, merchandising!]] [[Toyetic|Where the real money from the movie is made!]] Spaceballs the T-shirt, Spaceballs the coloring book, Spaceballs the lunch box, Spaceballs the breakfast cereal, Spaceballs '''''[[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick|da flamethrowah]]!'''''
[turns on flamethrower]
'''Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink:''' Ooooh!
'''Yogurt:''' The kids love this one.|''[[
Who says [[Evil Is Not a Toy]]? Some fictional children's toys are so dangerous, they have no business being children's toys!
[[Values Dissonance]] often comes into play, due to cultural perceptions both of what is and is not dangerous for kids and how long it takes for kids to "grow up." ([[Theodore Roosevelt]] reportedly could fire a gun at age 10, whereas most kids that age nowadays might still be playing with Play-Doh.)
[[Olympus Mons]] could be considered the organic equivalent; just replace "toys" with "pets."
The trope name is a pun on ''[[My Little Pony]]''. Not to be confused with [['Allo 'Allo
{{examples|Examples:}}▼
== Anime and Manga ==
* ''[[Bakugan (
* ''[[Medabots]]'' carry weapons that can damage the surrounding landscape, concrete and steel included. They're quite popular with the kids. Fortunately the live weapons have only appeared in video games. However this doesn't change the fact that the Medabots have self-healing capabilities and are VERY durable. If it weren't for the fact that their medals can be ejected with enough damage (or manually) these thing could take over the world.▼
* ''[[Battle B-daman]]'' launchers cause some pretty painful (if minor) injuries in the anime. Real life versions can put an eye out under certain circumstances.▼
* ''[[Beyblade]]'': With some of the things Beyblades do to each other in the anime, they wouldn't be approved for kids in most real countries. The real ones are much less dangerous, but you should always make sure the parts are on ''tight''.
* ''[[Crush Gear Turbo]]'': Crush Gear vehicles have a tendency to fly apart.
* Taken to the extreme with ''[[Danball Senki]]''. LBX literally have a military application and have been used in assassinations before. However, due to the creation of the [[Applied Phlebotinum|Fortified Cardboard]], it has become the most popular children's toy the world has ever seen!▼
▲* ''[[Battle B-daman]]'' launchers cause some pretty painful (if minor) injuries in the anime. Real life versions can put an eye out under certain circumstances.
* ''[[Girls und Panzer]]'' is [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin]]: high-school girls (and in the spinoff ''Little Army'', ''middle-school girls'') who fight battles with WWII tanks as a sport. Live ammo. No helmets or seatbelts. Inexplicably, there's never any serious injuries shown, even when tanks get shot or ''flipped over'' -- the worst is some scrapes, smudges, and cracked glasses, but there's always a chorus of "[[I'm Okay|We're okay!]]" (in one case, said while the girls were ''putting out a fire near their ammo supply).''
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh (Tabletop Game)|Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': Duel Monsters really should come with the following disclaimer: "WARNING -- May cause getting kidnapped by evil organizations, [[Freak Out|Freak Outs]], [[Mind Rape]], the emergence of a [[Super Powered Evil Side]], summoning of [[Eldritch Abomination|Eldritch Abominations]], [[Grand Theft Me|soul-stealing]], and various physical hazards up to and including ''death''. Not for [[Loners Are Freaks|loners]] or anyone with [[Parental Issues]]." ([[Arson Murder and Jaywalking|Not to mention]] skipping school and [[Crack Is Cheaper|going broke]].) Note to Pegasus: never design a children's card game based on ancient Egyptian mythology. ''Especially'' if you have an ancient Egyptian [[Artifact of Doom]] implanted in your eye socket!▼
▲* ''[[Medabots]]'' carry weapons that can damage the surrounding landscape, concrete and steel included. They're quite popular with the kids. Fortunately the live weapons have only appeared in video games. However this doesn't change the fact that the Medabots have self-healing capabilities and are VERY durable. If it weren't for the fact that their medals can be ejected with enough damage (or manually) these thing could take over the world.
▲* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh (Tabletop Game)|Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': Duel Monsters really should come with the following disclaimer: "WARNING -- May cause getting kidnapped by evil organizations, [[Freak
** Even worse near the start, where just about every game or toy was turned into a game that resulted in someone breaking psychologically.
▲* ''[[Bakugan (Tabletop Game)|Bakugan]]'' should get a warning sticker of their own as of New Vestroia's second season. Good thing their real world equivalents cannot transform into their [[Eldritch Abomination|true forms.]]
▲* Taken to the extreme with ''[[Danball Senki]]''. LBX literally have a military application and have been used in assassinations before. However, due to the creation of the [[Applied Phlebotinum|Fortified Cardboard]], it has become the most popular children's toy the world has ever seen!
== Comic Books ==
* ''[[The Beano]]'' had a long-running strip featuring "General Jumbo", a schoolboy who had a fully functional remote-control set of toy soldiers and military vehicles created for him by a friendly neighbourhood [[Mad Scientist]]. He used them to fight crime. A number of British comic creators have gone on to create [[Expy|Expies]], most notably Robin "Toybox" Slinger and her father "Colonel Lilliput" in ''[[Top Ten]]'' and "General Tubbs" in ''[[
* There was/is an european (most likely franco-belgian){{verify}} comic called ''Charly'' that features a young boy and his Captain Lightning starship toy. It floats. It has lasers. It can blow a hole in a wall large enough to walk through (and kill an unfortunate sheep on the other side). {{spoiler|The goverment finds out about it, things escalate and the toy demonstrates that it is quite capable of annihilating a squad of special forces.}} At some point there was a background story about a different boy with a tank toy.
* [[Villainous Harlequin]] Madcap (who has fought a variety of heroes, including [[Captain America]], [[Daredevil]], [[Ghost Rider]], and [[Deadpool]]) subverts this, as the bubble gun he carries is, in fact, a regular toy soap bubble gun, purchased at a five and dime. He uses it to fool people into thinking that the temporary madness he can cause via his own powers is actually caused by the bubbles.
== Fan Works ==
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== Film ==
* ''[[
* ''[[Small Soldiers]]'': This is the premise of the movie. The reason the toys are so dangerous is that they used military-grade artificial intelligence so the toys could "play back". [[
** The Gorgonites are personable because their original designer conceived them as a subversion of [[Beauty Equals Goodness]]. **Although that really doesn't explain how that bled into their actual programming, since the programmer was a guy totally onboard with casting them as the villains.
*** They were programmed to be ''antagonists''. They are good because the other guys are evil.
* In the film ''[[Jumanji]]'', games of Jumanji could qualify, being a cursed artifact disguised as a game. Especially unfinished and abandoned games. ''[[Zathura]]'', too. Well, [[Schmuck Bait|they]] ''[[Schmuck Bait|do]]'' [[Schmuck Bait|warn you.]] ''Junmanji'' warns you and then pulls you into the game if you even ''glance'' at the pieces.
* ''[[Toy Story (franchise)|Toy Story]]'': Never outright addressed, but some of the toys seem a bit too dangerous for little kids to play with. The Buzz Lightyear figure alone is rather dangerous when you think about it. His wings have the capability to pop out with enough force to tear through duct tape like it was wet tissue, and the helmet flips back and forth rather swiftly too, it was enough to make Woody cry out in pain anyway. Also, while his laser certainly isn't a gun, the singular point it makes suggests it is an actual laser pointer, which can easily blind a child for life. In the sequel, Stinky Pete's pickaxe is apparently sharp enough to cut through fabric easy enough and function as a screwdriver.
** The "laser" on an actual Buzz Lightyear toy is a red LED. This probably applies in-universe as well. A scrapped plot point for the third film involved Andy ''actually getting hurt'' by a malfunctioning Buzz. Though, this is somewhat beside the point, since a fully functional Buzz is still pretty dangerous on its own.
*** The ''Toy Story Toon'' "Small Fry" parodied the subject of recalled toys. One kids meal toy in the support group was recalled because one of its parts fly off it. The toy doesn't explain about it, but after the recalled toy says "I was recalled because...", [[Crowning Moment of Funny|the part mentioned earlier flies off of the toy.]]
* The sci-fi movie ''[[Evolver]]'' features a robotic AI toy that just happens to have been installed with a state-of-the-art weapons-grade military AI chip; The robot is meant to be a harmless children's game, but it soon begins learning how to arm itself with more lethal weapons. The Evolver unit was originally a military battle robot prototype that was re-purposed after killing people in a field test. It got made into the grand prize for the top scorer of the Evolver VR Game so that they could play it in real life. The problem starts when its military programming that was left in gets reactivated by the protagonist's sister dramatically "dying" after it scores a "kill" on her and she gets back up. It realizes that its "weapons" aren't lethal, as they're "supposed" to be, to it the Evolver game is a live fire War Game and refits itself to compensate.
* ''[[Toys]]'': This Robin Williams vehicle focused on the new owner of a toy factory switching production to toy tanks and helicopters armed with real weapons he meant to sell to the military. He also starts a videogame division to get kids into violence in order to have future soldiers. The videogame was actually a simulation/prototype. The new owner's plan was to have kids ''[[Ender's Game|remote-control operate actual war machines without knowing it.]]''
* ''[[The Santa Clause (film series)|The Santa Clause]]'': Tim Allen's character speaks out against his company's design for a Santa in a tank as a toy for the kids.
{{quote|
* ''[[
== Literature ==
* In [[Robert A. Heinlein]]'s ''[[Have Space
** Note however that Kip is in his mid to late teens, old enough that entrusting him with flammable or corrosive substances wouldn't be considered out and out negligence even in this day and age.
* The ''[[
* In the [[Philip K. Dick]] short story "War Games", Earth has a safety board inspecting toys from Titan, with whom they are having a political Cold War, but whose goods are still popular. We see at least one dangerous
* The short story ''Bobo's Star'' has kids in the future being given their own miniature star-creation kits at home. The titular character's star turns into a black hole and devours the Earth because [[Not Now, Kiddo|nobody would listen to him]].
* The [[Stephen King]] story "Battleground", part of the "Night Shift" collection, has a hitman who killed a toy designer attacked by an army of toy soldiers, complete with air support. {{spoiler|They eventually kill him by breaking out a tiny nuclear weapon.}}
* ''[[Discworld]]'':
** Something similar happens when [[Death Takes a Holiday|Death substitutes for the local Santa equivalent]] in ''[[
** ''[[
* ''[[Harry Potter (
** Playing cards that [[Made of Explodium|explode]], albeit without much force.
** Marbles that squirt nasty-smelling liquid in your face when you lose a point.
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** Chess pieces that beat each other to death probably deserve a mention.
** Bludgers in the Quidditch games. They can give somebody a pretty nasty concussion if they hit you in the head, and knocking you off your broomstick at certain heights is also dangerous in and of itself.
** How about the actual broomsticks? They can travel over 100
*** Well, this is a world where broken bones can be fixed with a flick of a wand, provided the person actually knows the spell. Even missing bones can be regrown with a magic potion. And first years aren't allowed to have their own brooms. There are toy brooms that only hover a few feet off the ground.
* ''How To Be A Superhero'' warns the would-be superhero about putting his name to merchendise without checking its safety, citing such previous PR disasters as Captain Feline and Blackie the Wonder-Cat's "Kitty-Fun" playsets (a variety of ways for a child to torture a cat) and the Mr Inferno dressing-up kit (one costume, one bottle of kerosene, one box of matches)
* [[Confessions of Georgia Nicolson|Georgia Nicolson]] worries about her little sister's "Pantalitzer" doll, described as having a terrifying face, steel forks for hands, and easily detachable parts that hurt when thrown at Georgia.
* In the 70's, ''[[
▲== Live Action TV ==
▲* In the 70's, ''[[Saturday Night Live (TV)|Saturday Night Live]]'' had toy maker Irwin Mainway (played Dan Aykroyd) appear on a consumer watchdog show called "Consumer Probe", and hopelessly defend his company's extremely dodgy and dangerous products, and drawing comparisons with the dangers of actual commonplace products. Of note was an episode where he attempted to defend a series of Halloween costumes, including "Johnny Space Commander Mask" (simply a plastic bag and a rubber band), "The Invisible Pedestrian" ("NOT FOR BLIND KIDS!"), "Johnny Combat" (which comes with an actual working rifle, ammo not included. Allegedly popular in Detroit), and "Johnny Human Torch" (oil-soaked rags and an oversized torch. "It lights up the night!")
** Then you got "Bag O' Glass", along with its spin-offs Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, and last but not least, Bag O' Sulfuric Acid.
** One of those pathetic attempts to defend his products involved a harmless toy phone; Mainway argued kids could choke themselves with the long stretchy cord. These days, what with the CPSC wiping out long cords of all sorts on kids' toys, the dangerous phone is a [[Funny Aneurysm Moment|funny aneurysm]] (much like most things on ''SNL'').
** ''SNL'' also had "[[Happy Fun Ball]]". It was a kid's toy with an [[Yes but What Does Zataproximetacine DO|increasingly bizarre disclaimer]], containing warnings such as "May suddenly accelerate to unsafe speeds" and "If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, seek shelter and cover head," culminating with the famous quote, "[[Memetic Mutation|Do not taunt]] [[Happy Fun Ball]]". Link to sketch [https://web.archive.org/web/20090331101627/http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7358768984043835546
** Lots of the ''SNL'''s fake toy commercials are for toys that would no way in Hell be sold in real life (whether it's because they're physically dangerous, will cause complaints from [[Moral Guardians]] who think that kids are impressionable enough to be screwed up by what they play with, or are just plain useless and/or lame). Some examples include: Gangsta Bitch Barbie (comes with Jolly Ranchers, a pack of Newport cigarettes, and a restraining order against her boyfriend Tupac Ken), Nerf Crotch Bats, Big Red (A viking who sprays massive gushers of blood-red liquid), Litter Critters (using cat crap to make clay figurines), and the recent dangerous toy commercial, Li'l Poundcake (a doll that administers vaccinations against the HP virus for girls under 10).
* ''Merrick And Rosso'' had a sketch involving two modified remote controlled toys from hell; One being a [[Thomas the Tank Engine]] with a buzzsaw on the front, the other being a Barbie-style van with a [[Kill It
* ''[[Mad TV]]'' had [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xP-6xhauf4 "Spishak's 'Hey, It's Ovens for Kids!'"], a children's ''gas oven''.
** [[Acme Products|Spishak's]] products in general, actually. Besides the above, there's Yule Blazers (plutonium-powered Christmas lights), the Bris-O-Tine (a mini-guillotine designed for circumcision), the Snoorfpk (a spoon/fork/knife combo), etc.
* A number of the [[Mad Scientist|Mad's]] contributions to the Invention Exchange on ''[[
* In the ''[[
{{quote|
'''Maxwell Smart, Agent 86''': No 99, the real credit belongs to these toys. After all, we had at our disposal every fiendish and destructive plaything ever devised for the pleasure of little children. Those poor devils, all they had were real guns and bullets. }}
* In [[Loriot]]'s classic sketch ''Weihnachten bei Hoppenstedts'' (''Christmas at Hoppenstedts'''), Father Hoppenstedt buys for his son a model nuclear power plant. It makes "[[Stuff Blowing Up|poof!]]" if you did a mistake while assembling it.
** In the course of the sketch, it of course goes 'poof!',
* On ''[[
== Music ==
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** In "Lament for a Toy Factory", he mentions "babies with buzzsaws, dollies with knives, gasoline-filled super soakers" as the too-drastic toy designs that got him fired... and were later used for revenge against the factory.
*** Fortunately, he has an ever-growing volunteer army of Toy Soldiers who are trained to use them responsibly. And by responsibly I mean hilariously. [[Metaphorgotten|And by trained I mean gratuitously hinted.]]
* [[
== Newspaper Comics ==
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== Video Games ==
* In ''[[
* One of the early missions in ''[[Grand Theft Auto]] Vice City'' involves using a toy helicopter to carry timed explosives into an uncompleted building to blow it up. Security guards and construction workers come after it once they catch on to your charade, but you can kill them by [[Helicopter Blender|running the chopper into them]].
* Subsequently in ''[[Grand Theft Auto
{{quote|
** Oh, and the third? Seems like the actual use for these things: a car tries to drive a road into a base. Bentley's helicopter drops obstacles that your helicopter has to remove. Bentley also has actual tanks shooting at his car, albeit with low-powered ammo for their size. You have access to antitank bombs.
* ''[[Gotcha Force]]'' is a game about an invasion by toy-sized robots and the other toy-sized robots who resist them. {{spoiler|[[Combining Mecha|They get bigger.]]}}
* The ''[[
* While not [[Humongous Mecha|toys]] by any means, the [[A Mech
* The foot-tall Robos of ''[[
** That last bit happens only when the "safety switch" is off, which allows the robos to use their abilities to the fullest extent. Regular, day-to-day Holosseum battles are basically massive [[Nerf
* The weapons Alice uses in ''[[American McGee's Alice]]'' are referred to as Toys, but only a few resemble playthings. The Flamingo Croquet Mallet, Playing Cards, Jacks, and Demon's Dice qualify, but the Ice Wand and Jabberwok Eye Staff are more like fantasy RPG items, while the Vorpal Blade and Blunderbluss are real weapons.
* Amy's Piko-Piko Hammer in ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'', a lethal version of a popular Japanese children's toy of the same name.
== Web Animation ==
* It's implied that practically everything sold at [[Homestar Runner
** The Stab Yourself! Try ''not'' to stab yourself!
** Not ''everything'' Bubs sells is dangerous. The stuff he sells out back on the black market is quality goods. In fact, in his capacity as a black marketeer, he's so devoted to customer satisfaction (as opposed to his capacity as an official businessman, in which he relies on not having any competition) that if you specifically want something that will cause an allergic reaction, he'll totally sell you the allergenic stuff.
*** Though he sold Strong Bad a pinata that was filled with...
{{quote|
== Web Comics ==
* ''[[Narbonic]]'': In "A Week of December 18th Story", a parody of ''[[A Christmas Story]]'', little (future [[Mad Scientist]]) Helen's Christmas toy of choice is the BioBeam 8000 gamma irradiator with 5-liter containment chamber, cesium 137 radiation source, optional remote monitoring station, and a thing on top that tells the time.
** This is apparently [https://web.archive.org/web/20140309061234/http://www.gamma-medical.de/products_bestrahlungstechnik_biobeam.html a real piece of equipment].
*** Except for the thing on the top that tells the time.
* ''[[
{{quote|
== Western Animation ==
* The Boyfriend Helmet in ''[[Codename
▲* The Boyfriend Helmet in ''[[Codename Kids Next Door (Animation)|Codename Kids Next Door]]'' -- yes, a ''[[Mind Control]] device'' '''marketed as a toy for children.'''
▲{{quote| '''Number 4:''' They ''sell'' these things?<br />
'''Number 5:''' Well, they ain't cheap. }}
* In ''[[The Simpsons (
** Another example from ''The Simpsons'' was a cereal with jagged steel letter O's in it. Only one, and it was supposed to be a prize, not eaten. Not that the regular cereal is much better:
{{quote|'''Reporter:''' What about that little boy who got appendicitis from eating your cereal?
'''Krusty:''' To prove that this metal O is harmless, I will personally eat one. (eats the O) See? There's nothing-- ''(starts screaming and writhing)'' Oh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides!
▲'''Krusty:''' To prove that this metal O is harmless, I will personally eat one. (eats the O) See? There's nothing-- (starts screaming and writhing) Oh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides!<br />
'''Krusty:''' It's poison! }}
* On ''[[Squidbillies]]'', Dan Halen Industries sold a baby crib that was so dangerous, critics called it a "Baby Deathtrap". The company sued for trademark infringement, as it sold actual Baby Deathtraps: teddy bears bristling with electric spikes.
* An episode of ''[[Yin Yang Yo
* The ''[[
** Other dangerous toys on ''South Park'' include: Chinpokomon (the toys themselves weren't dangerous, but they were pawns in a plot to brainwash kids into bombing Pearl Harbor), Wild Wacky Action Bike (the kid who tried to ride it in the commercial crashed into the underside of a truck), Alabama Man and Wife (teaches boys to be drunken, wife-beating trailer trash), and Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (teaches girls to be like Paris Hilton), and a make-your-own Mr. Hankey play set, whose commercial was filmed in live action.
* The Reptar wagon in the first ''[[
** There's a store full of these played for laughs in an episode called Toy Palace.
*** Including Avogadro the Alligator, which is powered by cold fusion.
* In ''[[Superman:
{{quote|
* As a homage to superheroes, something similar shows up in ''[[Darkwing Duck (
* ''[[Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy
** As Eddy put it: "Nice toy!"
** He also has a cranked toy which walks forwards and chomps its jaws, which ''[[Amusing Injuries|ripped a hole through Eddy's stomach]]'':
{{quote|
* ''[[
* Subverted in ''[[Big Guy and Rusty
* In ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force
** Didn't you see the warning label? Not for [[Sufficiently Advanced Alien|children under 3 million years old]].
* On ''[[
** Who ''wouldn't'' want to play such wholesome games as "Left Hook", "Don't Get Shocked", and "Bag O' Tacks"?
* On ''[[Jimmy Two-Shoes]]'', Since [[Mega Corp|Misery Inc.]] seeks to torture everyone, it's no surprise that several of their products are aimed at kids.
* In the ''[[Fanboy and Chum Chum]]'' episode "Total Recall", the titular duo has a toy octopus that spits corrosive ink, electrocutes them, has tentacles with the sucking force of a real octopus, and explodes randomly. Among Oz's collection of recalled toys, there's "baby's first nail gun", a fire truck that functions as a flamethrower, dolls that spit acid, a doll who's arms fly off at 100
* In the ''[[
* ''[[Robotomy]]'' has Tickle Me Psycho, a [[My Pet Monster]]-meets-Tickle Me Elmo-style doll with the screechy, nasal voice of [[Gilbert Gottfried]] who acts like a complete [[Jerkass]] to robot kids (in the commercial, he stole a kid's drink, drank it, and tossed the cup in the child's face, ripped another kid's fingers off and ate them, and tore a third kid's "I Love You" card and kicked him. It ends with Tickle Me Psycho yelling, "I can't stand kids!") and is plotting a war against them.
* One episode of ''[[My Life
* An episode of ''[[Robotboy]]'' had a store clerk copying Robotboy's image to create "[[Shoddy Knockoff Product|Roboboys]]" (note the omission of the 'T') that predictably went berserk. To differentiate them from Robotboy the horns, lower legs, and hands came in a multitude of colors.
* [[Averted Trope]] in just the setting you might expect to find this in, what with all the talk/creation of [[Your Mileage May Vary|dangerous]] summer activities in ''[[
* In ''[[Rick and Morty]]'', Beth had a lot of these as a child that her father made via her request; in the present, he uses them to convince her of what a terror she was:
{{quote|'''Rick:''' Look at some of the **** you were asking me to make you as a kid. Ray guns, a whip that forces people to like you, invisibility cuffs, a parent trap, a lightning gun, a teddy bear with anatomically correct innards, night-vision googly-eyed goggles, sound erasing sneakers, false fingerprints, fall-asleep darts, a lie detecting doll, and indestructible baseball bat, a taser shaped like a ladybug, a fake police badge, location tracking stickers, rainbow-colored duct tape, mind-control hair clips, poisoned gum, [[Talking Weapon|a pink,]] [[Evil Weapon|sentient switchblade...]]
''(Clicks open switchblade)''
'''Switchblade:''' [[Cute Is Evil| Hi, Beth! You've gotten taller! Shall we resume stabbing?]]}}
* A subversion occurs in a third season episode of ''[[Amphibia (TV series)|Amphibia]]'', where Anne manages to take down ''five'' of Mr. X's underlings with a toy lightsaber. It is indeed just a toy lightsaber, purchased at a Costco [[Expy]]. {{spoiler|Anne's ability to use it as a real weapon is due to her own previously unknown powers, as she is sort of the equivalent of an actual Jedi...}}
== Truth In Television ==
* The most infamous: Lawn Darts. Which are large, heavy, metal tipped darts that kids are given to throw at targets placed on their lawn. Needless to say, throwing spearlike "toys" is not a good idea.
** Considering lawn darts are pretty much the modern equivalent of the [https://web.archive.org/web/20150511150810/http://www.armchairgeneral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39726 plumbatae] of the Late Roman Empire...
** It gets worse - the placement of the targets? They were laid ''[[Too Dumb to Live|at the kids' feet]]''. Seriously, how on earth did any of them live to adulthood?<ref>MOD: What do you mean, "they"? ''We'' survived by not being stupid enough to stand at the target, no matter what the rules said.</ref>
* The Atomic Energy Lab pictured above was a real toy. In 1951, A.C. Gilbert introduced his U-238 Atomic Energy Lab, a radioactive learning set we can only assume was fun for the whole math club. For a mere $49.50,<ref>According
** [http://unitednuclear.com/ These guys] can hook you up, but it's not in one convenient set. And will run you a bit more than half a c-note.
* Home chemistry sets used to be quite popular for young science nerds. However, fears of poisoning, acid burns, and explosions soon brought the combination of [[Frivolous Lawsuit|lawsuits]] and [[Moral Guardians]] to stop sales. "Chemistry" sets can still be purchased, however they contain practically nothing of any use. Buying a box of baking soda is pretty much the same thing.
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*** This adds [[Fridge Horror]] [[Adult Fear]]. Think about what would happen if you owned a gun and your child found it (even without bullets) and decided to play "Cowboys" with it. Now imagine what would happen if a police officer was driving by as your child was playing.
** An arcade shooting game had its gun replaced with a bright colored model because of this. Apparently when police entered arcades they were not amused to have realistically looking toy guns pointed at them.
** Similarly, [[Transformers Generation 1|the original version]] of the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Megatron transformed from a robot into a Walther P-38 pistol. More recent incarnations have transformed from a robot into [[Beast Wars
*** The redesign of the original toy in 2006 turns into a differently-colored one-off of a Nerf Maverick blaster with orange safety cap, rather than the semi-realistic Walther P38. Despite this being ''legally mandated'', toy collectors ''still'' [[They Changed It, Now It Sucks|complained]].
**** This was mocked in the [[Insecticomics]]' [[Fourth Wall Mail Slot|Ask Vector Prime A Question]] feature, where said Megatron writes in to say he's still dangerous, [[Beware the Nice Ones|able to disguise himself as a simple Nerf gun.]]
** The Walther P-38 version of Megatron was yet again redesigned as "Masterpiece" Megatron, now with a far more detailed and intricate transformation scheme. He still turned into a Walther P-38, but now one nearly twice the size of the actual weapon. It was not allowed to enter the US without a neon orange safety plug in the barrel, even though it ships in robot mode.
** The newest Walther P-38 Megatron toy, a Legends-class (read: really small) figure released in the 2011 "Reveal the Shield" line, still has an orange tip on its barrel, despite measuring about three inches from front to back.
** The policy of having fake guns painted artificial colours has, of course, now resulted in a large amount of black spray paint being used to cover up these features ''and'' police concerns about real guns with [https://web.archive.org/web/20130120204210/http://blog.riflegear.com/archive/2007/12/26/hello-kitty-ar-15---evil-black-rifle-meets-cute-and.aspx unusual colours] or a spray-painted tip.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20101027124835/http://www.399animeshop.com/anime/naruto/naruto-metal-shuriken-11-scale.php "We have removed this (shuriken) from our list due to it being made of metal."]
* The Cabbage Patch Kids Snacktime Kid. Note to manufacturers: when building a toy that chews anything put between its teeth, including fingers and hair, '''install an OFF switch!'''
** There ''was''
* From ''[[Cracked.com]]'', we have [http://www.cracked.com/article_15764_5-least-surprising-toy-recalls-all-time.html The 5 Least Surprising Toy Recalls of All Time].
** The list exaggerates with the Kinder Surprise case, they are still sold in Canada, Mexico, Peru, much of Europe, and Argentina (among other places) and no one was stupid enough to swallow the toys, it just requires common sense.
* [
* [
* Similar to the ''Beyblade'' example at the top, Pogs could be painful but not especially harmful if one of the striker discs ricocheted... until some enterprising manufacturers decided to make ''small metal throwing stars'' to fit the role. How they got away with those boggles the mind.
** Likely because its edges were blunted. Yes, it's fine because, while it may have points, the heavy chunk of metal's edges are blunt.
*** Which doesn't change the fact that it's ''a heavy chunk of metal with points'' that you can presumably still ''throw like a ninja star''. (Which is the first thing that anybody did when they got one of those)
* Entertech Water Pistols were one of the reasons that toy guns are molded in garish colors now to keep police from misinterpreting a child's toy, and keeping criminals from using them in holdups. The commercial even clearly ''stated'':
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* Another ''[[Transformers]]'' example; there used to be a line of toys with the ability to "spark", they would produce light, sound, and exhaust similar to real engines and weapons. They work via an internal steel wheel rubbing a flint, much like a cigarette lighter. Skating ''[[Barbie]]'' dolls had similar roller blades to spark up the ground. Needless to say, Hasbro refuses to produce these anymore.
* Most knock-off toys (the kind of things you find at car boot sales, market stalls etc. they're normally based on a popular kid's film or cartoon, for example ''[[Spider-Man]]'' or ''[[Cars]]'') are made with lead paint or will fall apart VERY easily. This is generally done because they're cheap to make and they're generally bought by parents who don't realize the dangers and just see a cheap toy.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucO-tGMebZY Tie 'N Tangle], a game based on wrapping other players in a web of nylon string, would otherwise be [[So Bad
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[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]
[[Category:Just for Pun]]
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