Noodle Implements: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Noodle.jpg|link=Jimmy Carr|frame|This is going to be great, guys!]]
 
{{quote|''Wow, with a '''[[But You Screw One Goat!|goose]]'''? I didn't even know that was possible...''|''[[Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff|Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal]]''}}
|''[[Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff|Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal]]''}}
 
Sometimes the best way to describe something is to give a few hints and let imaginations run wild, especially if you [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|aren't allowed]] or can't be bothered to get explicit. One common way is to imply the general feel and mention a few outlandish items to be used but not ''how'' they are used.
 
[['''Noodle Implements]]''' (related to the [[Noodle Incident]]) is used to suggest an act that would normally be unthinkable to show, by listing a set of objects in context. The most common uses are for an especially [[Zany Scheme]], some [[Head-Tiltingly Kinky|delightfully exotic sex]] or some truly ingenious torture. The phrasing and circumstance makes it obvious, but the unknown act appears much more intense. Or more silly.
 
If the [['''Noodle Implements]]''' are used erotically off-camera while a character or characters observe, they may find the results [[Head-Tiltingly Kinky]].
 
Noodle Implements can cause [[Fridge Logic]] (and/or Fridge [[Squick]]) if you attempt to work out exactly what you do with a snorkel, a feather boa and a stuffed giraffe that's so incredibly erotic. Unfortunately, someone will have worked it out. There's probably [[Rule 34|pictures online]]. If the use is well known, it may become a form of [[Shout-Out]].
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In some cases, [[Genre Savvy]] characters will intentionally invoke this trope when questioning someone they've captured. Differs from [[Maximum Fun Chamber]] in that the character in question doesn't really know how to use the items to torture someone.
 
See also [[Maximum Fun Chamber]] and [[Lost in Transmission]]. Compare [[Cow Tools]], [[That Mysterious Thing]].
 
{{examples}}
== [[Advertising]] ==
* A Mastercard commercial starring Richard Dean Anderson as [[MacGyver]] implies that he fixed a truck using a paperclip, a ballpoint pen, a rubber band, a pair of tweezers, some nasal spray and a turkey baster.
 
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* The Region 1 DVD of ''[[Excel Saga (anime)|Excel Saga]]'' has, in place of the standard legal warning, a parody thereof which warns that violations will be "dealt with in the most severe manner possible, most probably involving chicken feathers, cod liver oil and a very, very depraved walrus."
* When Nozomu is following Abiru's father around in ''[[Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei]]'', believing that he's abusing her, even the most mundane of items (and a copy of ''[[Ichigo 100%|Strawberry 100%]]'') are taken as tools of abuse in some way that people aren't quite clear on.
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** Presumably, this is an actual folk remedy. This method is also suggested (and apparently actually ''used'') when Yuuto, the main character of ''[[Omamori Himari]]'', has a cold in chapter 34. That or Matra Milan just likes ''Negima'', which would make sense, [[Fan Service|all things considered.]]
* In one episode of ''[[Di Gi Charat Nyo]]'', Puchiko's guardians get ready to make a Phantom Cake, pulling out everything they need, which amounts to quite a pile, including (but not limited to) a bucket, a cactus, a tire, an umbrella, a drum, a [[Eenie Meenie Miny Moai|moai]] and a Christmas Tree.
* ''[[Durarara!!]]'' has mention of barrels of gasoline being rolled down the third floor of the highschool back when Izaya and Shizuo attended. No further information, not even a quirky name for this incident, is given.
* The dub version of ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]'' features Germany claiming to have "killed a man in his sleep with only his own moustache and a grape".
 
== [[Comic Books]] ==
 
== Comic Books ==
* [[Don Rosa]]'s ''[[The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck|Uncle Scrooge]]'' story "The Treasury of Croesus" opens in the aftermath of "Magica de Spell's most complex and bizarre scheme yet" to get Scrooge's [[Number One Dime]]. Apparently it involved, among other things, fireworks and animals in ridiculous costumes.
* ''[[Johnny the Homicidal Maniac]]'' does this in the end of his last issue when {{spoiler|he attacks Squee's dad and says he may go blind, but that means Squee can get away with stuff more easily}}. He then decides to completely disable him, asking if he has a lick-em-aid stick to cause deafness and tweezers and shoelaces to alter his central nervous system and render him unable to "Fine Tune his Sensitivity to Vibrations"...Then realizes he might become an Olfactory Ninja.
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* ''[[Nextwave]]'''s Dirk Anger claimed he killed his wife because she would no longer do "that thing with the wig and the chickens and the bath of acid" for him.
* ''[[Amelia Rules]]'' has them playing a game called 'Thank God you're open,' which specifically invokes this trope; you're supposed to rush madly into a shop with $5 or so, breathlessly tell the cashier the name of the game, and ask for the most outrageous combination of items they can get.
* In ''[[Twisted ToyfareToyFare Theatre]]'', [[Star Trek|Jim Kirk]] had to deal with mirror universe versions of Vulcans that embraced non-logic. So, he told the highly insecure and polite version of himself some implements he needed: Three teenage girls and a squeegee. That plan was promptly dropped when the Vulcans took him by surprise.
* An issue of ''[[Batman]]: No Man's Land]]'' has a scene where the Joker, one of his past torture victims (that is alive at the time of the scene), and some of his goons threatening said victim with yams. The victim's reaction says it all: "No please, not the yams!"
 
== [[Fan FicWorks]] ==
 
== Commercials ==
* A Mastercard commercial starring Richard Dean Anderson as [[MacGyver]] implies that he fixed a truck using a paperclip, a ballpoint pen, a rubber band, a pair of tweezers, some nasal spray and a turkey baster.
 
 
== Fan Fic ==
* The ''[[Naruto]]'' fan fic ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4041162/1/Naruto_the_Overlord_Kage Naruto the Overlord Kage]'' (a crossover with the game ''[[Overlord]]'') had this memorable line in chapter seven from Axel. "Okay, we got mace, grenades, six-pack of beer, bazooka, flamethrower, a box filled with genetically enhanced mutated demonic vermin, and a ticket for a free bowl of ramen, ok, we're all set!! Let's go cause some chaos!!" Turns out the rats grow 10 times their size when lit on fire so they never got around to using much of the other items.
* Another ''[[Naruto]]'' fanfic, ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5288868/1/Uprooted Uprooted]'', has Tsunade recite the [[Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon|following]] to the Third Hokage: "You don't get a say in this, old man. Tar. Feathers. Gelding knife. Superglue, walnut groats and two hundred rabid squirrels. Do not tempt me."
* ''[[Yet Again|Yet again, with a little extra help]]'' has the Pirate Space alien Giraffe bondage incident (also a [[Noodle Incident]]).
* From [https://web.archive.org/web/20130925020229/http://www.freewebs.com/torchingleaves/Leaves01.htm this] ''[[House of Leaves]]'' parody: "'Wax' got his nickname after an especially colorful incident in the Himalayas involving three empty water bottles, a ball of twine, one extremely smelly and hideous yak, and two sherpas with a warped sense of humor. Trust me, you do ''not'' want to hear the details."
* The ''[[Ranma ½|Ranma 1/2]]'' fanfic ''One More, From the Top'', had Soun mention (towards Genma) the Tendo Family Torture, which involves "bubble gum and fluorescent light bulbs". Once Genma leaves the room, Kasumi mentions that she's never heard of the Tendo Family Torture. Soun reveals that he just made it up, that he had no idea how to torture someone with bubble gum and fluorescent light bulbs, and that Genma "always did have a... creative mind."
* ''[[Potter Puppet Pals]]'' short "Wizard Angst": "You will be dragged by your ears to the basement, where a drunken Filch will be waiting with a cactus and a croquet mallet..."
* The short "Wizard Swears" also gives us the dreaded Elder Swear: "Your mother is a [bleep][bleep][bleep]ing [bleep] lorem ipsum [bleep][bleep][bleep] admitem venium [bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep] traguna [bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep] hippopotamus [bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep] Republican [bleep][bleep]ing Daniel Radcliffe [bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep] with a bucket of r[bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep] in a castle far away where no one can hear you [bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep] Soup! [bleep][bleep][bleep][bleep] with a bucket of d[bleep][bleep] Mickey Mouse [bleep][bleep] and a stick of dynamite [bleeeeeeeeep] magical [bleep][bleep][bleeeeeeeeeeep] alakazam!"
* [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3946501/2/Thousand_Shinji The] Evangelion/40k crossover ''[[Thousand Shinji]]'' has Shinji (having converted to the worship of Tzeentch, god of [[Magnificent Bastard|Magnificent Bastardry]]ry ) feeling pleased at having finally "managed to perfect the plan involving a car battery, a geisha, a metric tonne of boiling ramen, and a rubber chicken" that could kill off his father (although he never actually uses it).
** He also wonders "But where would I get that much tapioca?"
* The ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' 'fic, [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3835684/2/Misatos_Second_Childhood Misato's Second Childhood] has [[Manipulative Bastard|Gendo]] torturing Kaji with 'a live trout, a feather duster, a fireworks Sparkler, a nine-iron, a pack of already-chewed-bubble gum, half a pound of salt, two 6-inch candles, a rusty grill scrapper, two rolls of duct tape, and a copy of "Barney the Dinosaur Goes To Washington".
* Another ''Eva'' fic, ''[[Nobody Dies]]'', has Kei Ayanami (sic) demanding some... interesting things from Tokyo-3 after taking over one of NERV's outposts, including one million helicopters, one dollar, and Shinji and Asuka dressed only in ribbons.
** Rei herself is no slouch in the use of [[Noodle Implements]]: she seems to have a thing for doing unspecified things to people with vegetables (it's a really bad sign if she decides to use ''cabbage'').
{{quote|'''Maya''': "I have ''no'' idea how she managed to destroy Fuyutsuki's car with [a squeaky mallet]!"}}
** There is also Gendo's and Yui's conversation about subtly undermining Kyoko Sohryu's authority: [[Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?|"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"]] "I think so, but I don't know where we're going to get that much Saran Wrap."
* From a ''[[Harry Potter]]'' fansite, [https://web.archive.org/web/20131104162009/http://www.mugglenet.com/funlists/deatheater.shtml this] guide to being a Death Eater includes the line "The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly."
** Any lists in said guide invariably have similar implements. For example, the equipment list has "Disguise kit, containing: Nun's outfit, false beard, beekeeping veil, Muggle policeman's costume, etc" and a pointy stick, and the list of skills includes yodelling.
** 99% of all good ''[[Harry Potter]]'' humor fic about the Marauders includes a list of [[Noodle Implements]]. Because sadly, some people just don't have Rowling's imagination.
* ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1553429/1/South_Down_The_Coast South Down The Coast]'', a ''[[Final Fantasy VIII]]'' fic has Quistis doing paperwork and receiving the following supply request: "One hundred metres nylon rope. One nun's habit. Motorcycle. Seven rolls duct tape. The list grew longer. Hyne, what did they ''need'' ten packs of Triple Triad cards for anyway? Not to mention the fertiliser."
* ''Zelda'' fic ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4788937/21/The_Legend_of_Zelda_Big_Brother_House The Legend Of Zelda Big Brother House]'' mentions that the reason Link never talks in the video games has something to do with Like Likes and Fire Keese in a bathroom and some yeast settling. Then there's the ingredients to Zant's meals, which include ingredients that try to run away.
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* In ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4576903/1/Wondy_goes_to_WalMart Wondy Goes to WalMart]'' Green Lantern needed the following items to fix his green lantern ring: A roll of duct tape, a knife with a gut-hook, three popsicle sticks, four feet of 30-amp dryer cord, a caulking gun, a USB cell phone charger, a ping-pong ball, a lithium ion-powered wrench, a carbon filter, a bug zapper, and a rotisserie chicken.
** What's more, [[Crazy Prepared|Batman actually gave him most of the stuff.]]
* ''[[Harry Potter and Thethe Methods of Rationality]]'': Harry buys a Feather-Falling Potion, Gillyweed, a bottle of Food and Water Pills, and a medical kit. He also asked goblins how much it would cost to mint a ton of silver into sickles, and had trouble answering when asked if he was trying to [[Take Over the World]]. He bought most of that stuff just to be [[Crazy Prepared|prepared]], but [[Mc Gonnagal]]McGonnagal didn't realize that.
* ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6713795/1/New_Games New Games]'' a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' fic, does this with several items including a Simon playset, a joy-buzzer and a rubber chicken.
* In the ''[[Teen Titans (animation)|Teen Titans]]'' fanfic [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3851787/1/The_Jokers_Wild The Joker's Wild], the Joker sends Harley Quinn out to get torture implements, and when she gets back he asks her "Did you get everything? The drills? The nails? The acid? The matches? [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|The custard?]]"
* Andy's [[Overly Long Gag|overly long list]] of objects needed to take Sherman to the vet in ''[[Calvin and Hobbes: The Series|Calvin and Hobbes The Series]]'':
{{quote|'''Andy:''' "Let's see… Iodine, band-aids, gauze, bullwhip, small strait-jacket, helmet, pan, shampoo, gloves, tranquilizer, chloroform, tennis racquet, ice cubes, [[Banana Peel]], cage, snare trap, baloney, modem…"}}
 
== [[Film]] ==
 
== Film ==
* In ''[[Pulp Fiction]]'', Marsellus Wallace tells Butch that he's going to call several of his men to "go to work" on his rapist Zed with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch, then proceeds to tell Zed that he's going to "get medieval on his ass." <ref>Pinch skin with pliers, apply blowtorch, make burn hole?</ref>
* The 1970s film ''Charley Varrick'' is the source of ''Pulp Fiction'''s famous "pliers and a blowtorch" line.
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'''[[MacGyver]] Friend''': We don't have a corkscrew.
'''[[MacGyver]] Smoker''': All right. Then get me an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel. Trust me, bro. I've made bongs with less. Hurry up! }}
* In the [[Weird Al]] comedy ''[[UHF (film)|UHF]]'', one of the characters has a public access television show. "Hello, my name is Philo and welcome to...Secrets Of The Universe. Today we are going to learn how to make plutonium from common household items." The additional footage that was cut lists "an egg beater, a car battery and a bowl of strawberry Jell-O. Put these items in a microwave for twelve minutes at 8000 degrees, and leave your house for several hours."
* In ''[[The Wrong Guy]]'' the main character is told its possible to kill someone with only two teabags and some wax paper. When attacked by the villain he waves these items around in the air since he has no idea how it's supposed to work.
* ''[[Monty Python and Thethe Holy Grail]]'': "Explain again how sheep bladders can be used to prevent earthquakes?" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfGpVcdqeS0 (at 0:09-14)]
** It probably has to do with the fact that animal bladders can be cured and blown full of air like balloons, making them absorb the vibrations in large enough numbers.
* [[Full-Name Basis|John Spartan]] never does learn how to use those three seashells in ''[[Demolition Man]]''. According to the director, {{spoiler|two of the seashells were to be used together to pick up most of the crap, while the third was used to scrape away the rest.}}
* The Danish ''[[Olsen-Banden]]'' (''The Olsen Gang'') movies are largely a subversion of this trope. Pretty much all of Egon's plans involve a number of baroque requisites. The subversion comes when we actually get to see all those items being used for surprisingly coherent purposes. The same holds true for the Swedish remake ''Jönssonligan'' and the Norwegian remake, which includes six nappies, a violin, a crowbar and a machine gun.
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'''Lord Rathbone''': Does your incompetence know no bounds? }}
* In [[The Great Muppet Caper]], scenes of the diamond thieves going over their list of thieving equipment are inter-cut with scenes of the Muppets going over THEIR list of equipment, which includes a whoopie cushion, rubber vomit, underpants, and a variety of other odds and ends.
* In ''Down By Law'', the jailbreak plan.
* ''"[[What's New Pussycat?]]"'' - at a country hotel which is a popular rendezvous spot, the desk clerk on the phone calls out to her husband "The party in the 'Marquis de Sade' suite asks for a Boy Scout uniform and a dozen loaves of bread!"
* In [[Brazil (film)|Brazil]], the torture tools seem regular, until you see the bouncing ball and the pacifier.
* In ''[[Ratatouille]]'', one of the chefs claimed to have "killed a man, using only this thumb!" Also, he "robbed the second largest bank in France using only a ballpoint pen".
* In ''[[Grosse Pointe Blank]]'':
{{quote|MARTIN BLANK: They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?" }}
* ''[[Paycheck]]''. Ben Affleck's character has had his memory erased after reverse-engineering a complex device. Rather than the huge sum of money he was promised for completing the job, he leaves himself a series of seemingly unrelated items -- amongitems—among these, a ring, a lighter, a key with a BMW logo on it, a digital wristwatch -- eachwristwatch—each of which later ends up being useful.
* In ''[[Fight Club]]'', when Tyler is interrupted having sex with Marla, he's wearing a heavy-duty rubber cleaning glove on one hand. Its purpose is never explained.
* From ''[[The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension]]''. As the group is running through the Banzai Institute after the Lectroids, New Jersey sees a watermelon in a metal press and asks what it's for. Reno just says, "I'll tell ya later." Explained later by [[Word of God]]: The Banzai Institute is developing ways of delivering food to famine-struck regions of the world by breeding a watermelon capable of being airdropped. Eggs are next.
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{{quote|Jack: We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us will have to learn to play the trumpet while the other one goes like this (waggles hands)}}
 
== [[Literature]] ==
 
* ''[[Discworld]]'':
== Literature ==
* [[Discworld]]'s* ''[[Discworld/The Truth|The Truth]]'' spoofs seven shades of green out of ''[[Pulp Fiction]]''.
{{quote|''..."An' then... then I'm gonna get ''medieval'' on his arse."''
''There were more pressing problems, but this one intrigued Mr Pin.''
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''"I thought maybe a maypole," said Mr Tulip reflectively. "An' then a display of country dancing, land tillage under the three-field system, several plagues and, if my --ing hand ain't too tired, the invention of the --ing horse collar."''
''"Sounds good," said Mr Pin.'' }}
** Pratchett also had a lot of fun with this one in ''[[Discworld/The Science of Discworld|The Science of Discworld]] II: The Globe'' (Although it's possible to figure out what they were going to do with the items). In order to make sure [[William Shakespeare]] gets born and can write his plays (long story), the wizards need (at different points):
*** "a length of string, a leather ball of some kind, and a large bunch of flowers." (Problem: Shakespeare's parents failed to meet)
*** "the probable date of conception, a stepladder, and a gallon of black paint." (This one is passable if obscure, as in Yorkshire, I believe, painting the ceiling black in the kitchen is a folk remedy to ensure a male child.)
*** "some strong disinfectant"... "and a lot of carbolic soap." (Problem: Shakespeare died of a childhood illness)
*** "some drab clothing, a dark lantern and a very large cosh." (Problem: Shakespeare is killed by a gameskeeper while poaching)
** Perhaps the best example of all, from ''[[Discworld/Wyrd Sisters|Wyrd Sisters]]'', is the [[Footnote Fever|terrible fate* ]] of King Murune of Lancre (709-745).
{{quote|* Involving a [[wikipedia:Edward II of England#Death|red hot poker]], [[wikipedia:Henry I of England#Death and legacy|ten pounds of live eels]], [[Ra Ra Rasputin|a three mile stretch of frozen river]], [[wikipedia:George Plantagenet, 1st Duke of Clarence#Death|a butt of wine]], a couple of tulip bulbs, [[Hamlet|a number of poisoned eardrops]], an oyster and a large man with a mallet. King Murune didn't make friends easily.}}
** And then we have The Ginger Beer Trick, a surprisingly minimalist example of this trope which nonetheless manages to [[Squick]] characters and readers (in part) by never revealing the ''particular'' orifice involved. {{spoiler|Word on alt.fan.pratchett is that it's your nostrils that get fizzed (true, and reportedly used in both Mexico and Colombia)}} but that's unnecessary knowledge for the gags.
*** The trick is done with a bottle of Coke in the movie ''[[Traffic]]''.
*** And also by Miguel Prada's unhinged brother Ramon {{spoiler|in the nostrils of someone he suspects of being the Skinner}} in the third season of ''[[Dexter]]''.
** Leonard of Quirm is described as having 'accidentally blown up the Alchemists' Guild using nothing more than a glass of water, a spoonful of acid, two lengths of wire, and a ping-pong ball.' (''[[Discworld/Jingo|Jingo]]'')
*** Which sounds like he figured out a battery using acid and two different types of wire and electrolysised the water into hydrogen and oxygen. And then blew it up (old-style ping-pong balls were made with nitrocellulose, which, after ground, is a common component in modern explosives). Most of Pratchett's [[Noodle Implements]] are actually references to real things.
*** Unless it's something that "Bloody Stupid" Johnson was involved in, as he apparently achieved the same effect using nothing but water and common sand.
** Also, from ''[[Discworld/Lords and Ladies|Lords and Ladies]]'': "There are no delusions for the dead. Dying is like waking up after a really good party, when you have one or two seconds of innocent freedom before you recollect all the things you did last night which seemed so logical and hilarious at the time, and then you remember the really amazing thing you did with a lampshade and two balloons, which had them in stitches, and now you realize you're going to have to look a lot of people in the eye today and you're sober now and so are they but you can both remember."
** And of course there's the joke in ''[[Discworld/Carpe Jugulum|Carpe Jugulum]]'' about "the old woman, the priest and the rhinoceros", which even Nanny Ogg didn't understand until she was forty.
*** Probably a reference to the joke about the priest, the nun, and the camel. Stranded in the desert.
{{quote|'''Punchline''': {{spoiler|Then stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!}}}}
** The Rite of Ashk'Ente. All we know is that it's a way to summon Death, involving three small sticks and 4ccs of mouse blood (or two sticks and a fresh egg).
*** This one was actually ''shown'' in ''Discworld II: Missing, Presumed...?!'' PC adventure game. Let's just say it's... somewhat less epic than one could judge from the description.
*** While the purpose of the sticks is unclear, the mouse blood or fresh egg are most likely required because something living needs to perish if you want Death to come for a visit. The minimalistic amounts of the living substance just indicates what is the bare minimum that counts for "life".
** Then there are those rumors about the manufacture of [[Gargle Blaster|scumble]], which is made ''mainly'' from apples, but is also alleged to make use of: rats, snake heads, lead shot, a dead sheep, and/or a trouser button. Subverted in that these [[Noodle Implements]] are a complete fabrication, although the rumor about the dead soldier isn't.
* Invoked in the ''[[Wheel of Time]]'' series. Juilin Sandar asks for a basket of figs and a pair of mice when questioning someone, [[Squick|squickingsquick]]ing not only the subject but his allies. The subject quickly starts singing like a canary. When asked, Sandar admits he has no idea what he'd do with the items, either - he was simply counting on the subject's own imagination coming up with something horrible enough to get her talking.
** He does it again asking for salt and cooking oil.
** A fair number of Elayne's curse words work like this. We're informed that they're particularly vile, but as Elayne doesn't know what they mean the reader is never informed. For example, Mother's milk in a cup and Bloody buttered onions.
* In ''[[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|The Restaurant at the End of the Universe]]'', Zaphod Beeblebrox is the son of Zaphod Beeblebrox the Second, who is the son of Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third, and so on, due to an "accident with a prophylactic and a time machine." In ''Life, the Universe, and Everything'', [[Who Wants to Live Forever?|bored immortal]] Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged was granted his immortality in a [[Freak Lab Accident|Freak Office Accident]] involving "a liquid lunch, a particle accelerator, and a pair of rubber bands."
** The latter is explained in ''And Another Thing''. He was working through lunch, and flicked a few rubber bands into an inactive particle accelerator. He tried to get them out, someone turned on the accelerator, whammo, instant immortality. Effectively the same thing that happened to [[Watchmen (comics)|Dr. Manhattan]].
** Another novel by [[Douglas Adams]], ''[[The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul]]'', includes a reference to a horror writer who habitually orders a dozen live chickens to his hotel room, where they are never seen again. Towards the end of the book, however, one character reveals {{spoiler|they know someone who had the job of smuggling them straight out again}}.
* In the comical Scifi novel ''[[Illegal Aliens]]'' by [[Nick Pollotta]] and [[Phil Foglio]]:
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{{quote|'''Wedge''': We'll need a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing.
'''Hobbie''': [[Genre Savvy|Boss, please tell me you're not putting us in women's clothing]].
'''Wedge''': [[Blatant Lies|Very well. I'm not putting us in]] [[Cross DresserCrossdresser|women's clothing]].
[[Gilligan Cut|The Next Chapter]]
'''Hobbie''': You lied to me. }}
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** I'm not sure it's the trope if we know what she does with them.
** In Lemony Snicket's autobiography it's established that VFD members are equipped with a standard [[Noodle Implement]] ''disguise kit''. (One photograph purports to show a young woman convincingly disguised as a 1950s-model pickup truck.)
** In place of a summary on the back of the book, any of these books will typically have a letter to the reader that explains the setting, provides a typical [[Snicket Warning Label]], and lists many a few of the tragedies and horrors (read: random things) that will befall the characters, ending with a case of [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]. For instance: "Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system." These things always eventually show up in the story, but at first reading, the blurb seems like nothing more than a list of [[Noodle Implements]].
* In ''[[Dilbert|The Joy of Work]]'', the author suggests a method of avoiding work by invoking this method. Simply carry a pair of unrelated objects (such as a flashlight and an oil funnel) with you and walk in a hurry through the office. If anyone asks what they're for, quickly say "[[You Do NOT Want to Know|You don't want to know]]" and walk off.
* ''[[Dave Barry]]'s Guide to Marriage and/or Sex'':
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* In the second book of ''[[The Darksword Trilogy]]'', Simkin whispers to the emperor of Merilon. The words "Contessa", "Chafing dish" and "Discovered naked" are audible to those around. The emperor surprises everyone by proving he can indeed laugh.
* [[Lewis Carroll]]'s ''[[The Hunting of the Snark]]'' features several examples; the method of hunting a Snark, for example, involves thimbles, care, forks, hope, a railway share, smiles and soap.
** But at least what is used for what was explained once per fit from 3 to 8. Though not in details, sadly -- likesadly—like how exactly you charm a snark with soap.
* From ''[http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/29487 Forever]'' by [[Robert Sheckley]]: "The ingenious way in which Dennison and his colleagues broke out of their seemingly impregnable prison, using only a steel belt buckle, a tungsten filament, three hens' eggs, and twelve chemicals that can be readily obtained from the human body, is too well known to be repeated here."
* ''[[Horrible Histories]]'' example: "Yay! Our gallant navy has captured the nasty Spaniards with only one small leaking boat, two men, one cannon, a pistol, a sharp stick and a sponge!"
** Another one (from the show), where a prehistoric human is explaining in a whisper how they built Stone Henge: "Woah! And what did you do with the jelly?"
* In the first of G K Chesterton's ''[[Father Brown]]'' stories, the priest explains how he knew master criminal Flambeau was a wrong-un: "It's that little bulge up the sleeve where you people have the spiked bracelet." The fact that none of us have ever heard of the spiked bracelet is intended to show that Father Brown's knowledge of the underworld is something special. He follows it up with what might be called Noodle Techniques: "I rather wonder you didn't stop it with the Donkey's Whistle... I couldn't have countered it even with the Spots myself; I'm not strong enough in the legs." This works because we know that criminals have picturesque names for classic scams like the Gypsy Switch (which Flambeau uses on Brown, though he doesn't call it that,) and since there really is one called the Badger Game, there might be one called the Donkey's Whistle.
** To make matters worse, by the time Father Brown gets to the Spots, Flambeau doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. Some things are too wicked even for him.
* The second ''[[Doom]]'' novel ends with Arlene and Fly trapped in a building with the monsters, and Arlene asks Fly to get "some duct tape from the toolbox, an armload of computer switch wiring, and the biggest goddamned boot you can find!" Sort of subverted in that the next book opens with Fly and Arlene relaxing on the beach, giving their companions [[Unreliable Narrator|conflicting accounts]] of just how they used those objects to escape.
* In ''[[The Gallagher Girls|Only The Good Spy Young]]'', the girls consider ways of getting into an underground, highly booby-trapped vault- the last Item on the list is as follows: " That thing Bex's parents did in Dubai with liquid nitrogen, an earthquake simulator, and a ferret." They rule out this option because they don't have a ferret.
* In ''The Lost World: [[Jurassic Park]]'', the character Jack Thorne is notorious for having pulled these on his students at the university as a form of engineering improvisation. Such assignments included constructing a chair to support a 200 pound man using only paper Q-tips and thread, pulling the answers to the final exam off the roof using only a shoebox containing licorice and toothpicks, and dropping an egg off the building and ensuring it doesn't break using only cardboard toilet paper rolls (that one famously didn't work). Eddie Carr later notes the irony when they face a similar situation making a cast for the baby Tyrannosaur, although eventually they figure it out.
* Invoked in ''[[The Thief Lord]]'', when an incident which the readers got to hear about in detail is only described as having involved "pasta and tomato paste".
* Robert Sheckley, ''Forever'':
{{quote|''The ingenious way in which Dennison and his colleagues broke out of their seemingly impregnable prison, using only a steel belt buckle, a tungsten filament, three hens' eggs, and twelve chemicals that can be readily obtained from the human body, is too well known to be repeated here.''}}
* In ''[[The Pale King]]'', Toni is last seen hauling around a dozen bricks and ordering several feet of copper tubing. Given how mentally unbalanced she is, the results probably won't involve construction.
* According to a ''[[Babylon 5]]'' [[Expanded Universe]] novel, part of Ranger training involves telling a funny story to the other trainees. Catherine Sakai told a story about an incident from her time attending the EarthForce academy involving a hated drill instructor, a visiting senator, an exotic dancer, a keg of beer, the academy's goat mascot, and several mistaken identities. [[Noodle Incident|No further details are provided, except that her story was funnier than the teacher's]].
* In ''[[The Dresden Files]]'', Harry first met Father Forthill when he asked him to sanctify an entire keg of water. We know that this holy water served to surprise some ghouls, but precisely ''how'' Harry used it is never stated.
* From ''Jurgen'' (1919) by James Branch Cabell:
{{quote|Then Jurgen tricked Phobetor by an indescribable device, wherein surprising use was made of a cheese and three beetles and a gimlet, and so cheated Phobetor out of a gray magic.}}
 
== [[Live -Action TV]] ==
 
* This is how every episode of ''[[MacGyver]]'' works, hence the parodies. Though we do get to see how he puts it all together, he can make ''anything'' out of ''anything''. So if you've got [[Noodle Implements]], he can get it done. Duct tape usually helps, though.
== Live Action TV ==
* Subversion: Most of the lists of things the [[Myth BustersMythBusters]] need to carry out [[For Science!|their plans]] only SOUND like this--butthis—but then again, why WOULD you need a piano tuner on a bomb range? Or a microwave, for that matter? Not to mention the cement truck... And then there's the pig viscera and the diving suit...The duct tape, the lard, the air tank, the Pykrete, the tongue stud, the Tesla coil and the playing cards..You know, [[Myth BustersMythBusters]] needs a folder all its own on here. To be fair, we see on-screen how the stuff eventually gets used, but I DARE you to come in never having watched the show before and figure out how anybody can do science with a jar of salsa, rubber cement and eight raincoats. Or a duck, some bulls, old glassware, liquid nitrogen, 400 cigarette lighters, a cell phone, silicone breast implants, some tubes of biscuit dough, an octopus, buttered toast, a semi-automatic and an airline toilet. Also, Jamie's wall in the back of M5 has many, many totes with names of these taped on them, including one allegedly containing "Raw Meat".
* This is how every episode of ''[[MacGyver]]'' works, hence the parodies. Though we do get to see how he puts it all together, he can make ''anything'' out of ''anything''. So if you've got [[Noodle Implements]], he can get it done. Duct tape usually helps, though.
* Subversion: Most of the lists of things the [[Myth Busters]] need to carry out [[For Science!|their plans]] only SOUND like this--but then again, why WOULD you need a piano tuner on a bomb range? Or a microwave, for that matter? Not to mention the cement truck... And then there's the pig viscera and the diving suit...The duct tape, the lard, the air tank, the Pykrete, the tongue stud, the Tesla coil and the playing cards..You know, [[Myth Busters]] needs a folder all its own on here. To be fair, we see on-screen how the stuff eventually gets used, but I DARE you to come in never having watched the show before and figure out how anybody can do science with a jar of salsa, rubber cement and eight raincoats. Or a duck, some bulls, old glassware, liquid nitrogen, 400 cigarette lighters, a cell phone, silicone breast implants, some tubes of biscuit dough, an octopus, buttered toast, a semi-automatic and an airline toilet. Also, Jamie's wall in the back of M5 has many, many totes with names of these taped on them, including one allegedly containing "Raw Meat".
** Played straight in the following exchange:
{{quote|'''Jamie:''' Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Line 232 ⟶ 228:
** "Get me a roll of toothpaste, a shower curtain, 10 bottles of apple juice, and Gameboy! and meet me at my house around seven"
{{quote|[CatchPhrase: "awwwwww, here we go again"]}}
* The [[Britcom]] ''[['Allo 'Allo!|Allo Allo]]'' had two German officers who were turned on by the waitresses with wet celery, egg whisks and flying helmets, among others.
{{quote|'''Colonel:''' (in response to whether he wants the egg whisk) "No, not the egg whisk. The electric mixer!"
'''Yvette:''' (horrified gasp) }}
Line 252 ⟶ 248:
* In the first episode of ''[[Salute Your Shorts]]'', a kid is threatened with an "awful waffle". It apparently involves maple syrup and a tennis racket.
** This is actually a real camp hazing ritual where you pour syrup on someone's stomach, then smack them repeated with the tennis racket so a sticky grid of marks is made. However, we never see it actually performed, and later episodes add more and more unrelated items to the mix.
* In one episode of ''[[Stargate Atlantis]]'', Sheppard finds himself stuck with Lucius Lavin, trying to come up with a plan to rescue his teammates. Lavin throws out some truly ridiculous ideas which end with him suggesting they get "a magnifying glass and some tape. .....Some poisoned tape."
* In one early episode of ''[[Malcolm in the Middle]]'', the boys were locked in their room until one of them confessed to some misdeed. When we see them next, they're wearing helmets with flashlights taped to them, have strapped pillows to themselves, and are trying to remove a light fixture from the ceiling. Malcolm comments "I swear, on paper this was a great idea." In the DVD commentary, the writers admit that they had no specific escape plan in mind and had just come up with something random.
* From ''[[Castle]]''
Line 314 ⟶ 310:
** He got back into the act on his show. While speaking about the changing of 90-year-old Canadian magazine ''The Beaver'''s name to ''Canada's History'' because the magazine's title was getting blocked by on-line porn filters, Colbert mentioned that the Canadians must not know that in America, the term "Canada's History" is a euphemism for [[Noodle Incident|a sex act so depraved he couldn't describe it on television]]. He could only mention that it involved [[Canada, Eh?|moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.]]
** And again on ''[[The Daily Show]]''. When Jon Stewart and John Oliver are discussing torture, at one point John Oliver pulls a turkey baster out of his pocket and suggests that Jon "use it on him." We never find out exactly what he means by that, although we can guess...
* In an episode of ''[[NCIS]]'', the team needs to question a pair of teens, but Gibbs refuses to use actual interrogation techniques. Tony picks up the phone and tells the "person" on the other end that he needs to requisition a pair of "genital cuffs", pausing briefly to ask the teens if they have any family history of testicular cancer. When he leaves, the teens spend some time trying to figure out if genital cuffs really exist, and what their specific uses could be--andbe—and their fear leads them to reveal the information the team is looking for, right in the range of Tony's off-the-hook phone.
* The opening quotes of an episode of ''[[Andromeda]]'' described a variety of bizarre implements not the least of which was a nuclear device followed by an explanation 'Surprise party for the ambassador'
** Specifically: "Requested: One Mark V ECM unit, 1000 km of Fullerene cable, one low-yield nuclear warhead. Purpose: Surprise party for foreign dignitary. --Argosy Special Operations requisition form, CY 9512"
Line 328 ⟶ 324:
'''Maxxie:''' Rabbits?
'''Chris:''' Don't ask man. }}
* The reason behind the [[Food Network]]'s [[Last Man Standing (graphic novel)|Last Man Standing]] show ''[[Chopped]]''. What dish would you make in 30 minutes that incorporates bone-in pork loin, watercress, taro root, and a melon?
* ''[[Beakman's World]]:'' One mysterious experiment calls for a bowling ball, a chainsaw, a Macintosh apple, and a picture of Raymond Burr in short pants sitting on vinyl furniture.
* From the Bolivia Special episode for ''[[Top Gear]]'' (subverted, in that they used nearly everything):
{{quote|'''Richard:''' [Voiceover] Finally, we were all off the ramp, and as a reward, the producers gave us a box of things to help us survive the perils that lay ahead.
'''Jeremy:''' [Going through box] ...Some rubber tubing... Durex...
Line 345 ⟶ 341:
** An episode focusing on Wilson gives only brief glimpses into the patient of the week; House's completely unexplained first theory revolved around the fact that his patient was a tennis pro.
* As announced on ''[[Argumental]]'' one of John Sessions sexual fantasies involves Liza Minnelli, a crossbow and an alsatian.
* Played with on ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway?]]'' with the Party Quirks game. Collin Mochrie plays an overly dramatic private investigator finding ridiculous clues to a murder.
{{quote|'''Colin''': What we have here is a pickle.. A piece of thread... And a Don Ho album.
'''Chip''': [[Completely Missing the Point|You're MacGyver!]] }}
Line 352 ⟶ 348:
* ''[[Burn Notice]]'''s Michael Westen is an expert at turning collections of ordinary items into implements of doom, including [[Duct Tape for Everything|the old standby]].
{{quote|'''Michael:''' Fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.}}
** Averted in this case, because we see exactly what he uses the duct tape for.
* In a story presented on Weekend Update of the 30 January 2010 episode of ''[[Saturday Night Live]]'', a Roman Catholic priest in Illinois was arrested for attempting to shoplift some butter and a sofa cover from a Wal-Mart. The joke was, "It's unfortunate that they didn't follow him home so they could at least find out what part 2 of that plan was."
** [[Step Three: Profit]]?
Line 390 ⟶ 386:
{{quote|'''Barack Obama''': Larry, I admit my greatest moral failure in high school was using marijuana, cocaine and alcohol. But there's no truth to the rumor I went to the sophomore toga party with a duck and a can of Crisco.}}
* [[The Addams Family]]: You're never entirely sure how Pugsley manages to get money out of a living piggy bank.
* Col. Flagg from '[[MASHM*A*S*H (television)|M*A*S*H]]'' was infamous for this. In the midst of preparing for a manhunt, he gives Radar the following instructions:
{{quote|'''Col. Flagg:''' And, uh, round up a box of scorpions. About a dozen.
'''Radar:''' You mean, uh, "scorpions" scorpions?
Line 400 ⟶ 396:
* In ''[[Game of Thrones]]'', while "confessing" his "crimes", Tyrion Lannister starts confessing one incident, but is cut off before he can give more than the noodle implements.
{{quote|'''Tyrion:''' I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel--*}}
* In ''[[Pair of Kings]]'', Brady and Boomer are trying to prevent the dark side from reaching Zadoc(a stone statue) which will allow him to back to life. Leading to this exchange:
{{quote|'''Brady:''' Since the dark side has moved 2 feet, we're gonna buy this island some time and move Zadoc back 4 feet.
'''Boomer:''' Impossible! We'll need like 20 yards, a thick rope, an intricate pully system, and at least several strong men.
Line 406 ⟶ 402:
'''Boomer:''' That'll work too. }}
* In ''[[The Young Ones]]'' episode "Bomb" three things Vyvyan needs to use to dispatch the bomb are "the drill, the hedge trimmers, and some ordinary household bleach."
* In the ''[[iCarly|]]'' episode "iWant My Website Back]]", Mandy's plan involves three zebras. She doesn't get to the rest of her list, because Sam immediately cuts her off.
* [[Mock the Week]] has a game called "If This Is The Answer, What Is The Question?" (rather like ''[[Jeopardy!]]''). Sometimes the words given seem to make up a set of noodle implements, and the panelists have great fun with this trope by suggesting what the items might be used for, with varying degrees of detail and/or [[Squick]].
* ''[[Wings (TV series)|Wings]]'': Roy finds the subject of one's parents having sex distasteful:
{{quote|'''Roy:''' Look, my mother was a saint. My father was a pillar of the community. The last thing I want to do is imagine mom wrapped in cellophane and dad wearing tights and a miner's helmet. I didn't wake up and ask for a drink of water again for 25 years.}}
 
== [[Music]] ==
* [[Sufjan Stevens]] wrote a song titled "To the Workers of the Rock River Valley Region: I Have an Idea Concerning Your Predicament, and It Involves an Inner Tube, Bath Mats, and 21 Able-bodied Men." It has no explanation and no lyrics.<ref>Note: this is the song title as listed on the vinyl version of ''Illinois'', which extended the titles of several tracks. For this particular song, the CD version of ''Illinois'' omits everything after "Predicament".</ref>
* From ''[[Rent]]'s'' "La Vie Boheme:" "Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawnchair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred." (The line is spoken in jest, but the mental image is nonetheless interesting.)
** And then there's "Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the 11th Street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello . . . which she has never studied."
* From a parody of ''[[Mister Wizard]]'' on the ''[[Doctor Demento]]'' show:
{{quote|'''Mr Wizard:''' Today Timmy, we're going to learn how to make a nuclear reactor out of this spatula, an old inner tube and some macaroni noodles!
Line 422 ⟶ 416:
** Another Ray Stevens song "Shriner's Convention" featured some spoken lines where Bubba the Illustrious Potentate is scolding a Shriner named Coy over the phone. Several Noodle Incidents and implements are mentioned:
{{quote|''Oh! Hello! Coy? Where have you been? No, you wasn't at the meeting! Well, I found out that at three o'clock this mornin' you was out there in your Fruit of the Loom's in the motel swimmin' pool with a bunch of them waitresses from the cocktail lounge! I just hope Charlene don't find out about this, Coy! What? Well, how'd you get that big motorcycle up there on the high dive, Coy?''}}
* "[https://web.archive.org/web/20131220023705/http://classicalconvert.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/150301671_ca7d422981_o.gif Fairie's Aire and] [http://www.flickr.com/photos/ch/150301737/sizes/o/ Death Waltz.]" (One piece, two pages, more may exist.)
** . ....The Hell?
*** Tune the ''[[Uke]]''? Please tell me I just got told to [[Have a Gay Old Time]]...
*** It means "Ukelele". Mind OUT''out'' of the gutter.
*** It's got penguins and explosives. There are less logical assumptions.
* Unsure whether this belongs in here or Western Animation, since it's a [[Real Song Theme Tune]], but Bowling For Soup's "Today is Gonna Be a Great Day" lists supplies required for... something. Said list includes, among other things: yogurt, gumballs, rubber bands, a unicycle, and a beach towel. Given [[Phineas and Ferb|the show in question]], I'd say that a "Great Day" is what we should be expecting, by this point.
* [[The Traveling Wilburys]]' "Cool Dry Place" has a moderately eclectic set of things, many of which are musical instruments though the list also includes "old athletic shoes" and "things that sometimes hum." However, they're not actually being used to build or do anything, they just apparently all need to be stored in a cool dry place.
* Tom Waits' "What's He Building?"
* A mammoth one in The Fiery Furnances' "Seven Silver Curses"; Matt's grandmother and her sister are running all over town collecting items to cast a spell on her husband so he'll stop cheating on her:
Line 437 ⟶ 431:
The silver teeth of a man killed by a jealous wife! }}
* The song "Odalisque" by [[The Decemberists]] contains this line: "What do we do with ten baby shoes, a kit-bag full of marbles, and a broken billiard cue?"
 
== Music Video ==
* "Gimme a bottle of anything... and a glazed donut... [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsC7oEjCHAM to go!]"
 
 
== [[Newspaper Comics]] ==
* ''[[Garfield]]'' and Odie devise a plan to get Jon out of bed that involves [https://web.archive.org/web/20110818072520/http://garfield.nfshost.com/1992/07/12/ a wagon full of random objects.] Jon gets up immediately upon seeing them... or whatever they crafted it into. Which may have been Garfield's [[Plan]] all along.
** In [http://images.ucomics.com/comics/ga/2010/ga100525.gif this] new Garfield strip, we have a rather hilarious example. What on earth happened to Jon that would require these...random objects?
*** A belt to hold up the remains of his pants, a Fire extinguisher to put them out, and... I don't know about the fishbowl.
**** The fishbowl is to help put out the pants if the Fire extinguisher runs out.
* In ''[[Dilbert]]'', Alice temporarily becomes a telecommuter. The Pointy Haired Boss and Asok develop a plan to get her back in her cubicle, which involved tranquilizer darts, a giant flatbed truck, and a giant shoehorn (harpoon optional).
Line 452 ⟶ 443:
* [[Brewster Rockit]]. Read the strips for September 18 and 19 of 2007 for a glorious example. The July 20, 2004 strip contains an example including a chicken suit and monkeys in space.
 
== [[Radio]] ==
 
== Radio ==
* An implied example: ''[[The Goon Show]]'', "Tales of Old Dartmoor". Grythpype-Thynne asks Neddie for a "strange request". Neddie announces he'll do it at once. After some receding footsteps, most of a minute of strange sound effects including grinding, slams, bells, and then approaching footsteps, Neddie returns and says...
{{quote|'''Ned Seagoon''': {{spoiler|What was it you asked for again?}}
Line 469 ⟶ 459:
** One sixty foot explodable granite statue with built in plunger.
** Detailed plans of what to ''do'' with long bent thing with a sort of lump on the end.
* [[Cabin Pressure|Douglas Richardson]] manages to steal some extremely expensive whiskey without getting caught, despite the fact that he is on everyone's watch list, using nail varnish and a non-existent television aeriel.
** The following year he manages the same feat, even though he is constantly supervised and frisked twice. He used a treatment for nail-biting, that time.
 
== [[Recorded and Stand Up Comedy]] ==
 
== Stand Up Comedy ==
* One of [[Jeff Foxworthy]]'s jokes involves the fact that singles have more interesting sex lives than married folk. "So there I was, tied down to her bed. Had motor oil ''smeared'' all over me. She came in with a saddle and a pair of jumper cables..."
* Australian comedic trio [[Tripod]] had a song explaining what happens when Mummy and Daddy love each other very much... basically Daddy installs a special sling from the ceiling, Mummy wears a pig mask and Daddy wears scuba gear, then they put on their favourite H.R. Pufnstuf video and it's apparently on for young and old. Who knew?
Line 480 ⟶ 469:
'OK, try aisle 12.' }}
** It's true though. Where else can you save the world on a beer budget?
* [[George Carlin]]'s famous bit "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLoge6QzcGY A Place For My Stuff]", as it progresses, tends to accumulate more and more [[Noodle Implements]].
** Another great line from Carlin (when describing the removal of a growth): "This was a part of my head a minute ago! But not anymore; I pried the bastard off with paint thinner and a Phillip's-head screwdriver."
* [[Carlos Mencia]] once related an incident where he attempted to purchase vaseline and jumper cables (for his car repair) and a box of condoms (favor for a friend who was out). The cashier came to the conclusion that these were all for the same event and asked "Dude, what are you going to do to her!?!"
* During one of his shows Larry the Cableguy said he once went to Cosco and bought a 10 gallon drum of ky jelly and 5000 cocktail weiners, just to mess with the head of the cashier.
* British comedian Lee Evans discusses how detergent ads always come on when a serial killer is on the loose:
{{quote|There's always an advert with a wife sorting her husband's washing, and she's all "'''''Oil? Blood? And grass stains? Ha!'''''" ...is she not the slightest bit fucking suspicious?!}}
 
== [[Tabletop Games]] ==
 
== Tabletop Games ==
* ''[[World of Darkness]]'' game books describe each skill or ability with a paragraph or so vignette describing a situation in which it's used. For the Intimidate ability in one ''[[Old World of Darkness]]'' book, a character asks for a combination of threatening items (but ones which don't make much sense when you put them together). He reveals to his companion after the subject squealed that he was leaving it up to the subject's imagination.
* At least one ''[[Forgotten Realms]]'' novel and one game accessory mentions Green elf druidess Aerilaya who "made vague comments about being involved in a scandal with a Chauntean monk, an oak tree, and a cask of ale (as well as [...] garrison commander and an elven archer with a traveling circus), and implied that her life would be somewhat more sedate" after [[Hidden Elf Village|retreat]] from that ''continent''.
** The Dean of Abjuration from the Wizards Guild of Raven Bluff dislikes gnomes to the point of rudeness and not even speaking directly to his fellow Dean of Illusion. He refuses to speak about the incident which caused this, but it's known to involve an obelisk, a five-headed dragon and talking spiders.
** In [[Side-Story Bonus Art|spin-a-yarn]] the first of [httphttps://ww2web.archive.org/web/20191216164556/https://dnd.wizards.com/Booksproducts/mirrorstonefiction/Article.aspx?doc=fr_spinayarn2006pt1novels Shorter Buckleswashers] adventuring band was killed in an incident involving "a narcoleptic dragon, several angst-ridden teen-aged mages, a flying carpet that was convinced it should be their leader rather than a mere possession, and a magical glowing chicken that turned out to be a transformed and furious drow priestess."
* In a scene from the DVD that accompanied the ''[[Demon Hunters]]'' core rule book, one of the Demon Hunters, Gabriel, is addressing the audience. He is relaying advice his mentor once gave him saying, "Whatever you do..." which fades out to static. Through the static, a few words can occasionally be made out. Eventually, the picture returns, with Gabriel still speaking. He continues, "...with a yak. That's the worst way to go."
** It's a [[Shout-Out]] to the ancient Hillary Song: [[In Soviet Russia, Trope Mocks You|in the Himalayas]], [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22never+knock+the+yak%22&filter=0 cow tipping attempts are not recommended]. Which itself is a [[Noodle Incident]], but more transparent one.
Line 498 ⟶ 486:
* This item from the List of 1675 [[Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do In An RPG]]
{{quote|1549. The totalitarian government tends to notice large purchases of cows, trebuchets and surveying gear.}}
** That's a reference to the French castle in ''[[Monty Python and Thethe Holy Grail]]''.
* Any time a Junker builds a [[Magitech]] device in [[Deadlands|Deadlands: Hell on Earth]], you can get a list like this quite easily. Justified since it's [[After the End]]; They're generally working with scraps from other devices.
* One [[Pathfinder]] expansion lets your bard tell a story so funny, it can free creatures turned to stone. The description notes that this story is about a humorless old woman who was eventually made to smile by "increasingly unlikely events involving a cart of horse manure, a king, and a flying carpet."
 
== [[Theatre]] ==
* From ''[[Rent]]'s'' "La Vie Boheme:" "Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawnchair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred." (The line is spoken in jest, but the mental image is nonetheless interesting.)
** And then there's "Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the 11th Street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello . . . which she has never studied."
 
== [[Toys]] ==
* In ''[[Bionicle]]'', [[Kid Appeal Character|Lewa]] apparently likes to tell a very disturbing story involving three [[Little People|Matoran]], a [[Giant Enemy Crab|Manas Crab]], and a bucket. It even managed to freak [[The Stoic|Kopaka]] out!
 
== [[Video Games]] ==
* "[[Metal Gear Solid|I need scissors!]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68mbFvenlaQ 61!]"
* From this very wiki's [[Cherry Tapping]] page: [[The Legend of Zelda|Ganondorf]], arguably the epitome of Nintendo evil, can be defeated by: A butterfly net, an empty bottle, nuts, and a fishing pole.
Line 519 ⟶ 510:
{{quote|'''Guybrush Threepwood''': I'm looking for thirty dead guys and a woman.
'''Meathead''': Whoah, I'm not sure what you're planning there but count us out! }}
** Arguably, most of the solutions to puzzles in this game are noodle implements. What requires a pot on a fire, wine, gunpowder, a rubber chicken with a pulley down the middle, breakfast cereals, ink, a jolly roger flag, breathmints, and some cinnamon? .<ref>Going to Monkey Island via voodoo spell</ref>.
*** Not quite as spectacular as that one, but in [[Tales of Monkey Island]] chapter 1, Guybrush misleads a guy by musing about how he's going to get past an ancient stone door, and mutters about going to gather "Several sticks of dynamite, a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle, and some sort of rudimentary ''lathe''..."
**** [[Zak McKracken]] is largely based around using utterly bizarre items (such as a crayon, a kazoo and an egg) for the purpose of saving the world from aliens.
Line 526 ⟶ 517:
** I've got a paint gun, a toy car and a radscorpion poison gland, now all I need is some surgical tubing and I'll be ready!
*** [[Don't Explain the Joke|However, once you actually make any blueprint, you can see how the seemingly random items are used in the model itself. For example, in the above the crutch is used as a weapon stock, the pressure cooker is the firing chamber, the fission battery is the firing pin, and the steam gauge assembly is the combined barrel and grip.]]
* See also the crafting into ''[[City of Heroes]]''. So you have a manila folder detailing a terrifying conspiracy ("[[Justice League (animation)|Who knew the true purpose of the aglet was so sinister?]]"), a gem, a [[Squick|piece of flesh that is regenerating into something]], and a device that can trace the temporal origin of a given object. With these, you can make your attacks do more damage.
* What if someone made this trope into an entire ''game?'' World, meet ''[[Scribblenauts]]''. ''Scribblenauts,'' world.
{{quote|"I got through that level with a chain, a [[Fairy Godmother]], a tranqulizer gun, and a baseball bat. You?"}}
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** Just to qualify, this one has nothing to do with the Shivering Isles expansion. By "Sheogorath's quest", it means one of those Daedric quests you can do if you find one of those Daedra statues in the vanilla game.
* In ''[[Tonic Trouble]]'', Doc constructs a catapult out of six each of the following items: springs, propellors, jumping stones, domino stones and piggy banks. While in this case, we do know what he does with them, we don't ever get to see ''how.'']
* One of the medic's quotes from [[StarcraftStarCraft]] II.
{{quote|'''Medic''': Here's some lotion, a comb, and a blowtorch. Good luck!}}
* Due to the nature of the item system of ''[[Dwarf Fortress]]'', some descriptions of events a player does, especially in adventure mode, can seem like this. Even if the character is a master thrower and picks up whatever they can find, the descriptions can just be confusing.
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* ''[[Team Fortress 2]]'': [[Boisterous Bruiser|The Heavy]] reveals that he has a [[PHD]] in Russain Literature in ''[[Poker Night At the Inventory]]''. When asked if it is useful in [[First-Person Shooter|his line of work]], Heavy claims, "More than you think..."
 
== [[Web Animation]] ==
 
== Web Animation ==
* ''[[The Leet World]]'''s Ellis does this a lot:
{{quote|'''Montrose''': What we need is a distraction.
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* The ''[[Homestar Runner]]'' short "Best Caper Ever" featured the end result of a prank where Strong Bad and The Cheat stranded Homestar on a tiny ice floe in the Arctic Ocean. However, Strong Bad and The Cheat are both bugged because [[What Did I Do Last Night?|all they can remember]] is stealing Homestar's melonade and The Cheat whizzing in it, and thus they can't properly gloat about their success.
 
== [[Web OriginalComics]] ==
 
* In ''[[Everyday Adventures of Joovia & Friends]]'' our redhead heroine, [https://web.archive.org/web/20110224053347/http://comicsgonebad.com/joovia/joovia-ipad-makes-you-cool-comics-297 Joovia] just got her new favorite toy. She ran into Jeremy at their spot in the coffee shop.
== Webcomics ==
* In ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'', [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0389.html Elan's original plan] to get to Azure City involved a corkscrew, some skis, a box of soap, a basketball, a traffic cone, dressing Thog in a leprechaun costume, and stuffing a giant wooden alpaca with potato salad. It should be noted, however, that, [[Prestige Class]] notwithstanding (and he didn't even have one at time), Elan is not precisely the sharpest spoon in the drawer, so his plan wasn't necessarily something a normal person would expect to work. And yes, [[Spoony Bard|"spoon" is the intended word]]. This was, of course, lampshaded in the episode's title: "As Good an Explanation as is Forthcoming"
* In Everyday Adventures of Joovia & Friends our redhead heroine, [http://comicsgonebad.com/joovia/joovia-ipad-makes-you-cool-comics-297 Joovia] just got her new favorite toy. She ran into Jeremy at their spot in the coffee shop.
* In ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'', [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0389.html Elan's original plan] to get to Azure City involved a corkscrew, some skis, a box of soap, a basketball, a traffic cone, dressing Thog in a leprechaun costume, and stuffing a giant wooden alpaca with potato salad. It should be noted, however, that, [[Prestige Class]] notwithstanding (and he didn't even have one at time), Elan is not precisely the sharpest spoon in the drawer, so his plan wasn't necessarily something a normal person would expect to work. And yes, [[Spoony Bard|"spoon" is the intended word]]. This was, of course, lampshaded in the episode's title: "As Good an Explanation as is Forthcoming"
** Later, when they need an excuse to leave the room...
{{quote|'''Elan''': Uh, dad? Haley and I need to go have sex.
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** Later, one "intricately choreographed" number from a sparky opera [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080206 is left to the imagination]:
{{quote|"For this performance, the Mechanikopera has recreated the original choreography, including all seventeen soup waiters, three ladder teams ''and'' the ''original'' roller skating giraffe!"}}
** Also, a [[Twitter]] based on [http://twitter.com/Othar Othar Tryggvassen] relies heavily on this and [[Noodle Incident|Noodle Incidents]]s for comedy.
** When "our favorite [[Axe Crazy|bloodthirsty maniac]]" Bangladesh DuPree [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070718 asked] about her choice in ways of killing amateur assassins, the visual interpretation has: dagger, pistol, axe and ''[[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|cheese]]''.
** We shall never know what a mad scientist can do with [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20090506 a thousand orphans, a hedge maze and enough cheese].
*** Presumably similar things to what less mad and less sciency scientists do with a smaller maze and mice.
** And after an incident that happens off-panel: "Thank goodness you had all those [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030829 clockwork ducks], Klaus."
* In ''[[8-Bit Theater (Webcomic)|Eight Bit Theater]]'', Red Mage is able to save the party (actually, the party minus Black Mage) from an aircraft crash with a portable hole, an immovable rod, a bag of holding and an ice spell. How, we'll never know.
** While he's explaining to Thief and Fighter that his unwillingness to part with his gear in the name of such plans was the one thing holding him back from the flexibility he claimed to rely on, Black Mage is crushed by a giant. He remarks that, ironically, he could get Black Mage out from under the giant with a portable hole, an immovable rod, a [[Bag of Holding]], and an ice spell. Go figure.
** [[Truth in Television]]: An adventurer can do ''anything'' with a portable hole, an immovable rod and a bag of holding! No idea where the ice spell comes in.
** [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/04/23/episode-1120-reading-material/ This strip] ends with a very weird visual one.
* In [[Ozy and Millie]] a number of Llewellyn's [[Historical In-Joke|Historical In Jokes]] seemed to involve whipped cream. Though knowing [[Cloudcuckoolander|him]] (and [https://web.archive.org/web/20100713160323/http://www.ozyandmillie.org/d/20030823.html this comic]) there's no guarantee that he [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|meant what you probably thought he meant.]]
** Three words: House Rules Parcheezi.
** Also on Take your Daughter to Work day, that conversation Ozy had with Llewellyn that got censored. [https://web.archive.org/web/20110808163320/http://www.ozyandmillie.org/d/20070507.html No shortage of implements here]
* Sam Starfall of ''[[Freefall]]'' had a [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1600/fc01515.htm great rescue plan].
** [[Word of God]] has stated that the reason Sam Starfall was exiled from his planet was an incident that involved a dirigible, a loop-de-loop and lots of pudding.
** His plan for a [[Pounds Are Doggy Prison|dog pound jail break]] required [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1600/fc01515.htm a dirigible, two ducks, and half a ton of explosives].
** Later his plan to smuggle Florence out of the E.U. compound is foiled by the guards being absent (and the gate is left open). It involved [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1700/fc01691.htm a coffee pot, half a ream of paper, and three fully automatic hot glue guns].
** [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1900/fc01841.htm Edge can convey doom in three words or less.]
** Sam's [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff2900/fc02891.htm scrounging] of random items.
** [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff2900/fc02896.htm Catapults, bungee cords and duck tape] (not particularly enigmatic, except in "how much can go wrong").
* Mr Tasey from ''[[Stickman and Cube]]'' is mentioned as having been fired from his first job after "a curious incident involving a goat, a jar of mayonnaise and a grand piano".
* ''[[Something *Positive]]'': Aubrey [httphttps://wwwweb.archive.org/web/20130510234427/http://somethingpositive.net/sp11062006.shtml has a plan] to prevent PeeJee doing something even she thinks is going too far: "I need four cellphones, ten balls of yarn, and two nights worth of cigarettes. I've got a miracle to perform." We do find out [httphttps://wwwweb.archive.org/web/20130510224232/http://somethingpositive.net/sp11082006.shtml what it is.]
* ''[[Station V3|Station V 3]]'' features [http://www.stationv3.com/d/20040716.html the following]:
{{quote|Is it the plan where they need finger paint, water skis, poker chips and inflatable cacti?
It's the plan where they disable the teleporter.
Too bad, the other one sounds more interesting. }}
* In [http://www.bitemecomic.com/?p=508 this] strip of ''[[Bite Me! (webcomic)||Bite Me]]'', Claire declares that in order to start a good-size revolutionary riot, all she needs is three tomatoes, a size nine-and-a-half shoehorn, a bit of string and a small wooden spoon. When questioned, she sighs "They ALWAYS ask about the spoon..."
* We get one of these near the end of ''[[Narbonic]]'', though it does get explained over the course of the next few weeks:
{{quote|'''Dave''': I have to retool the teleporter, crash the Dave Conspiracy, and buy a large bucket of fried chicken. Fast.}}
* One of the many deaths Kaguya and Mokou of ''[[Touhou]]'' fame inflicted upon each other in [http://dizzy.pestermom.com/?p=thcomic17 this] installment of ''[[Touhou Nekokayou]]'' apparently involved "a toilet plunger, the Buddha's stone bowl, a kendama, a Christmas tree, and three stuffed rabbits" and it "took weeks to find all the patches from (Mokou's) overalls again." (The creator "just wanted to make a comic involving death-by-noodle-implements.")
* A running gag in ''[[Cheer]]'' involves a character coming up with a plan that requires "two geese, a roll of duct tape, twenty-three toothpicks, and some sodium benzoate." It was initially coined by Tamara, though Jo and 32 have also used it.
* In [https://web.archive.org/web/20140902183456/http://www.cheercomic.com/?date=2006-09-14 this] comic, a guest artist actually speculates on how exactly those items could be used to "crush spirits and ruin lives, all while delivering a healthy dose of funny". He ultimately concludes that he has no idea but that they can set a "genuine sense of fear amongst those with weak constitutions".
* [http://www.insecticons.com/insecticomics/kickbackjunk.html This] ''[[Insecticomics]]'' comic.
* ''[[Starslip Crisis]]''. "Remember the [[Cryptic Background Reference|Harakkon disaster of '37?]] [[Badass Boast|That was]] ''[[Badass Boast|me.]]'' And ''six trained goldfish.''" ([https://web.archive.org/web/20110505235654/http://starslip.com/2008/01/16/starslip-number-697/ Link].)
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20191216164556/http://starslip.chainsawsuit.com/2006/11/22starslip/starslip-number-394/ Earlier]:
{{quote|'''Aldus Vanderbeam''': I also learned I wasn't good at talking to nude models, art professors, the dean of the art department, and campus police. You will never hear that story.}}
* [http://www.webcomicsnation.com/shaenongarrity/skinhorse/series.php?view=archive&chapter=34218#131453 This] ''[[Skin Horse]]'' strip:
Line 632 ⟶ 624:
** And turned into a plot [http://xkcd.com/521/ here]: "so long as the raptors don't invent lightsabers."
** Not to mention: "[http://xkcd.com/564/ Why do you have a crossbow in your desk?]"
** To say nothing of [https://web.archive.org/web/20140603203813/http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/secretary_part_3.png/ this] one.
{{quote|"And you were thrown out of microsoft headquarters for...trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?"
"I forgot about that! It was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Which I won, by the way." }}
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20110420054620/http://bukucomics.com/loserz/go/57 This strip] of ''[[Loserz]]''. A tutu, big coconuts, bear fur suits (to be worn without pants) and the key element is a little plush bear of doom?
* ''[[Penny Arcade (Webcomic)|Penny Arcade]]'''s Tycho creates something very much like this with ''one implement'' in [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/03/21 Exile from Guyville].
* ''[[Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures]]'' has genius Jyrras demand his friend to open the door or he'll do it himself with [http://missmab.com/Comics/Vol_663.php some floss and a spork].
** Sporks seem to be fairly common utility in DMFA, with Dan using one to defeat a legion of Death Knights.
* Gawain from ''[[The Adventures of Wiglaf and Mordred]]'' says [http://liliy.net/wam/2009/06/07/even-zombies-need-dental/ here] that how he became a zombie "involves a golden egg, a spork and a swamp witch... [[You Do NOT Want to Know|Anything you come up with is better than what actually happened.]] Oh and there was a puffer fish."
* ''[[Lackadaisy Cats]]'': "Some sort of high-speed, ballistic goose-related incident!"
* Common cold cure in ''[[Weesh]]'' somehow involves fish head, toe jam, and liverwurst...and that's not all of it.
Line 648 ⟶ 640:
* [http://megatokyo.com/strip/187 This] [[Megatokyo]] comic, in which Piro tunes out Largo's rant about how to defend their new apartment, and all we get to hear is "...And that's why we need to find a store that sells rocket launchers. Help me with this phone book."
* The thing they do with a protractor in [[The Way of the Metagamer]] requires [[Brain Bleach]].
* ''[[Questionable Content]]''
* In* [http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=707 thisThis] ''[[Questionable Content]]'' : "My Limit Break involves a moose, the demon Baphomet, and a Kuiper Belt object."
*** And the animation takes 4 hours.
*** So he uses Baphomet to summon Pluto... don't see where the moose comes in.
*** The moose rides on Pluto.
* [http://www.atlanticcartoons.com/inhumanrelations/2010/04/30/a-long-story/ It's a long story involving a pickle fork, a jug of lemonade, and the Kiwanis.]
** The hookup of May and Sven was weird enough before it started, but then [http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4008 they are surrounded by random objects after].
* [http://www.atlanticcartoons.com/inhumanrelations/2010/04/30/a-long-story/ It's a long story involving a pickle fork, a jug of lemonade, and the Kiwanis.]{{Dead link}}
* [http://www.threewordphrase.com/sadcomic.htm This] ''Three Word Phrase''. An [[Anti-Humor]] example because the "medical condition" requiring the implements is named, not just Noodle-implied. [[Insane Troll Logic|Makes even less sense]], of course.
* In ''[[Everyday Heroes]]'', [http://www.webcomicsnation.com/eddurd/everydayheroes/character.php?character_ID=1982 Matt O'Morph] gained his superpowers when, "during his college freshman chemistry class, there was a bizarre accident involving an unknown alkaline solution, a dash of monosodium glutamate, a live electrical wire, a pack of Big Red cinnamon gum, and a mosquito."
Line 658 ⟶ 652:
* ''[[Wapsi Square]]'' once mentioned a rather creative use of [http://wapsisquare.com/comic/10222004/ a toilet seat and a rubber chicken.]
* ''[[Wicked Awesome Adventure]]'' noted that an eye can be put out with the use of [http://www.wickedawesomeadventure.com/2010/06/121-123-show-him-what-for.html a funnel, sushi, and a small wager.]
** Subverted when use of the [[Noodle Implements]] was [http://www.wickedawesomeadventure.com/2010/06/124-convert-traffic-cone-dead-fish-and.html demonstrated.]
* In ''[[El Goonish Shive]]'', Dan was apparently going to start a new story involving ninjas, japanese bath houses, and ''hamsters''. [http://egscomics.com/?date=2006-10-02 Lots of hamsters] but this was scrapped because he had to deal with the aftermath of a party he threw celebrating the conclusion of the previous arc.
* ''[[A Modest Destiny]]'' [http://www.squidi.net/comic/amd/view.php?series=amd&ep=4&id=97 here]: "It's not quite as interesting as my plan, but since we seem to be all out of stilts and ventriloquist dummies, it'll have to do..."
Line 673 ⟶ 667:
TG: [[Lampshade Hanging|i completely understand everything about that practically entirely]] }}
 
== [[Web Original]] ==
 
* An old, discontinued serial called "Gothic Survivor" (twelve stereotypical [[Goth|Goths]]s are sent to survive amidst the light and joy of Disneyland for 48 days) featured this. A relationship arises between two of the Goths, Angry Kitty and Doomboy, leading to some implied sex with rather kinky toys. Their idea of foreplay involves "a charred top of a grill and two barbeque forks;" they later run off to play with "a recently acquired pair of hot dog tongs and a pizza cutter." A later entry mentions Doomboy's thoughts of "Angry Kitty in a bikini, with a weedwacker and a stack of moist towelettes." Yeah.
== Web Original ==
* An old, discontinued serial called "Gothic Survivor" (twelve stereotypical [[Goth|Goths]] are sent to survive amidst the light and joy of Disneyland for 48 days) featured this. A relationship arises between two of the Goths, Angry Kitty and Doomboy, leading to some implied sex with rather kinky toys. Their idea of foreplay involves "a charred top of a grill and two barbeque forks;" they later run off to play with "a recently acquired pair of hot dog tongs and a pizza cutter." A later entry mentions Doomboy's thoughts of "Angry Kitty in a bikini, with a weedwacker and a stack of moist towelettes." Yeah.
* Professional wrestler [[John Cena]] used to do a Q&A session on WWE.com called "5 Questions with the Champ." When a fan would ask a question such as "How did you spend your birthday?" or "How do you plan to spend the holidays?" he would say that "to protect the guilty," he wouldn't say exactly, but that it did involve [ Insert Noodle Implements Here], some of which were: packets of Mayonnaise, children's golf clubs, a Samoan, Pay Per View cable, and massive amounts of alcohol.
* [http://needmorerage.blogspot.com/search/label/Galertruby Galertruby] is a master of this trope. As a zombie who's missing his jaw, most of his blog posts come out as complete gibberish, but the mouse-over hyperlinks work just fine. So when you come across a post titled "Galertruby's Guide to Dating" which is mostly composed of five paragraphs of nonsense, but which includes hyperlinks to a broken wine bottle, a gnome effigy, a flask of Big Mojo, and a set of plate-armored leggings, you '''know''' there's gotta be a good idea in there somewhere.
* [[Bum Reviews|Chester A. Bum]] in [https://web.archive.org/web/20130925195652/http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews/1670-bum-reviews-burn-before-reading this video].
** [[Wwb Video/The Nostalgia Chick|The Nostalgia Chick]] review of Grease features a subplot of BFF Nella being forcibly given a makeover from the Makeover Fairy. Tools the Makeover Fairy uses in her attempts to beautify include an eggbeater, a hammer, a skull, a ''power drill'', an iron (implied use on clothing ''not removed from her body'', a sanding file, pliers...
** In [http://twitter.com/BennettTheSage Bennett the Sage's Twitter account], several are referred to in relation to his upcoming review:
Line 702 ⟶ 695:
"Hm. D'you know where I can find some bullets?"
"Nowhere within a hundred miles of here!" *hangs up* }}
* On [https://web.archive.org/web/20100411051557/http://failbook.com/2010/04/07/what-the-hell-are-you-making/ Failbook]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7plwRplpa4 Episode 9] of Khenpoe's ''[[Bleach]]'' [[Abridged Series]] has Rukia plotting to persuade Ichigo to go to the upcoming Don Kanonji/[[Captain Ersatz|Trashy]] concert event with a pair of tongs, a rabid raccoon, and a third item (Rukia's "favorite part") that is left unnamed because Ichigo stops the flashback right there ("Let's just say I ended up going.").
* ''[[Cracked.com]]'' ain't bad with this. From "[http://www.cracked.com/blog/choose-your-own-drug-fueled-adventure-fk-the-lost-world/ Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Adventure]":
Line 718 ⟶ 711:
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I "just happen" to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car. }}
 
== [[Western Animation]] ==
* In the ''[[Futurama]]'' episode "Proposition Infinity", when Bender is getting released from jail and is receiving the objects that were confiscated from him upon arrest, he receives a hat with a large feather on it, a roast turkey, and an accordion.
** In "Cold Warriors", Zapp Brannigan brings up the penultimate-resort plan for dealing with a common cold epidemic in Manhattan, called Protocol 62. President Nixon shoots it down, saying "Impossible, we don't have nearly enough piranhas!"
** Almost everything Bender pulls from his "compartment of mystery" qualifies. A short list includes: Charlemagne's skeleton, a human infant, the severed arm of the Prime Minister of Norway, and John Laraquette's spine,
* Whatever it was that Pinky '''was''' [[Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?|pondering]] in ''[[Pinky and The Brain]]''. ("I think so Brain, but how will we fit two flamingos into one pair of capri pants?") Of course, Pinky is insane, but what if he's not?
** "I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?"
Line 727 ⟶ 720:
*** When Brain takes the case to court, the company's lawyer ''does'' know how a microwave works and thus proves that it couldn't have caused the "accident"...only to go "oh" at the mention of the non-dairy powdered creamer.
*** "I think so, Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu."
** A list of further pondering examples can be found [https://web.archive.org/web/20100210001001/http://www.sph.umich.edu/~rwatt/ponderin.htm here] .
* ''[[Invader Zim]]'' had a "final test" to determine who his new best friend would be in the episode "Bestest Friend". It involved him walking menacingly towards the contenders with a beaver and a toy taxi, followed by a lot of horrified screaming.
** "Hello my Tallest! I'm in a bear suit."
Line 733 ⟶ 726:
** In Megadoomer as Zim walks down the street, talking to a kid who he obviously don't know, he keeps talking about how Dib will pay... but we never get to know why or if there even is a reason, or if he just wanted someone to talk to.
** Thanks to a ton of cut scenes from the show, a great amount of these appear on the show. The sandwich Zim recieves in the first episode, the little cup cake creatures Red and Purple have covering their faces, the room filled with chickens in Dib's Horrible Life of Doom... and the list just goes on.
* ''[[A Pup Named Scooby -Doo]]'', "Wrestle Maniacs": The Mystery Inc. kids get thrown out of the office of the manager of a cut-rate wrestling stable by "The World's Strongest Accountant". All we see is the gang getting thrown out the door in a heap, upon which Shaggy remarks "Like, I've never seen someone do that with a calculator before!"
* One episode of ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' showed a clip from a fictional wacky sitcom, in which Baby Doll had managed to cause a huge mess. Somehow, it involved the dog, a zebra, a giraffe and a pair of Scotsmen on rollerskates.
* In the ''[[Ren and Stimpy]]'' episode "Stimpy's Invention", two of the tools used to build the Happy Helmet are a beaver and a duck.
* In ''[[The Simpsons]]'' Marge is suffering from stress to the point where hair is falling out. She gets some relaxation time and her hair is strong enough to hold a <s>parasol</s> large beach umbrella. Homer takes this opportunity to ask her to come to bed. She smiles and removes the parasol. Homer's response: "No no - leave it in." They promptly scamper upstairs, leaving the viewer alone to think up a few [[Squick|Squicky]]y images.
** In the episode "Summer of 4 ft. 2," in a scene spoofing ''[[American Graffiti]]'', Homer is attempting to buy illegal fireworks from a Kwik-E-Mart and makes several other purchases in order to "act casual". His list of purchases includes a porno magazine, a box of condoms, some Old Harper, panty shields, and two enema kits. Marge's reaction upon his return:
{{quote|'''Marge:''' I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out.}}
** And the next morning she wakes up with a dreamy look on her face. This could be an accident, but stealthy [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|radar work]] is possible...
** Lionel Hutz uses ''people'' as Noodle Implements in "The Day the Violence Died" when Bart tells him to stall a trial while Bart retrieves a piece of key evidence. Hutz brings in all of his surprise witnesses again, including Ralph Wiggum, a guy with a ventriloquists' dummy, a Santa Claus with a broken leg, and those two obese twins who rode around on mopeds. How all of these characters were "surprise witnesses" in a cartoon plagiarism lawsuit is best left to the viewer's imagination.
* Spoofed in ''[[Dave the Barbarian]]''. As Dave works feverishly, the narrator informs us, "Thinking quickly, Dave fashioned a megaphone using only a squirrel, some string, and... a megaphone."
** The episode ends with Dave appearing to the audience behind-the-scenes-style. He says, "I bet a lot of you are wondering why I tied a squirrel to a megaphone." [[Beat]] "Well, bye!"
Line 774 ⟶ 767:
** The episode "Insheeption" begins with Cartman finishing a story: "And then, the guy hits the ping-pong ball with his dick, and it goes right in the other guy's mouth."
* In the second episode of ''[[Clone High]]'', Joan of Arc comes to JFK's house with a plan on how to win the school presidential election. She whispers her plan to him and he responds with, "Well, how about (whispers), dental dam, (whispers)?". Joan slaps him for this, to which he responds, "Okay, no dental dam."
* Before the premiere of the MTV animated series [[Undergrads]], there was a special "hosted" by one of that show's characters (I forget the name) showing a number of animated short films, and after each one plugging Undergrads. At the end of it, he signs off by telling people to watch the show when it aired, and if they don't... "Well, I can't legally say what I'm going to do to you, but it involves a truckload of peanut butter, your social security number, and evil clowns."
* The Trickster's second revenge plot in the [[Justice League]] episode "[[A Day in the Limelight|Flash and Substance]]" called for '50,000 rotten eggs and a chainsaw.'
** In "Fearful Symmetry," The Question manages to employ the [[Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique]] using synthpop. Exactly how he went about it is left to the imagination.
* ''[[American Dad]]'': You did the Tennessee Logjammer? Where are the other two guys? And did you at least put my ladder back?
** Another episode has Steve completely getting what Toshi said wrong (as usual): "Gross, Toshi, she'd never agree to that. And besides, where would we find that many ping-pong balls?"
* ''[[The Fairly Oddparents|OddParents]]'': "I'll get the monkey and the trampoline!"]]
* In ''[[The Critic]]'' Jay's father comments in one episode that he is working on the "fish-ma-baby-whilimagig...it'll be bigger than the badger-blaster."
 
== [[Real Life]] ==
 
== Real Life ==
* Troping wikis. Not being able to make head or tail of a trope example referring to very [[Story Arc]]- or [[The Verse|'verse]]-dependent events from a show, book, movie, etc. that you are not familiar with, when it is not put in context for those who are not familiar with it, and is described using lots of in-jokes, meta-references, and ambiguous sentences hyperlinked to other tropes that are self-evident only to the familiar, is one of the most entertaining and infuriating aspects of [[Tropes Will Ruin Your Life|this wiki.]]
* Cashiers sometimes have fun trying to piece together exactly what the random pile of stuff in a person's shopping cart will be used for.
** One post on [http://failbook.failblog.org/ Failbook] had someone posting that a customer had just bought a Miley Cyrus DVD, some lub, and a box of tissues...[[squick]].
* Misha Collins (Castiel in ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]'') has done this on Twitter: "Out of Gitmo. not going to go into details, but long story short, it involved 250 gal. gasoline, a catapult, a bandaid & a pr of raybans"
* Amateur radio operators have the wouff-hong and rettysnitch, tools meant for the enforcement of law and order and decency respectively on the airwaves. The wouff-hong, allegedly named after a garbled message received by pioneering ham Hiram Percy Maxim W1AW, is made of wood and vaguely resembles an offset "rabbit" dildo; the rettysnitch is a metal rod with a handle and a spiked wheel on it. No one is sure exactly how they were supposed to be used, and frankly, no one ''wants'' to know.
* People have been known to break out of prison using the following; a potato and some shoe polish ;<ref>you carve the potato (or a bar of soap) into a gun shape, and use the shoe polish to color it so that it looks more like a real gun and less like something you carved out of a potato</ref>; dental floss ;<ref>floss is one of the strongest strings you can buy, it is able to saw through steel bars</ref>; chilli powder ;<ref>use it as a pepper spray to blind your guard and run away</ref>; a green felt tip pen .<ref>get enough pens, dye your white prison uniform green, walk out with the prison cleaning detail</ref>. A man on death row once committed suicide by making a pipe bomb using only a leg from his bed and a pack of playing cards .<ref>the red dye on old fashioned cards are made from nitrocellulose, which explodes when soaked in water and heated</ref>. Seriously.
** Yeah, well, that playing card thing is ''highly'' overrated. The kind of cards you need to pull it off aren't even made anymore.
*** A very few companies still sell them, but in such low volume that the price is jacked up. They are only purchased by people with antiquated tastes and magicians with specific needs for an effect.
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* Any time you go to the store to buy items for two unrelated projects. For example, chili powder and shaving cream. They just happen to be the two things you've run out of today, but anyone witnessing you purchase them might think you're up to something... strange.
** This becomes the basis of [[Wal Mart]]'s latest commercials, though in a subversion, we see ''exactly'' what happens to the bought items.
*** People buying items they are embarrassed about (such as condoms) will often buy several other items which often consist of snacks, pens, etc. Most shopkeepers are Genre Savvy enough to know exactly what this means, but some might think this person enjoys eating snacks and drawing whilst having protected sex. An awkward variant is if someone buys baby items or items for the opposite gender but doesn't have their baby or partner with them, the shopkeeper may think the person in question is a fetishist and is going to use these items themselves.
**** This has become a game (appropriately titled the 'condom game') where you buy a pack of condoms, and two more odd/random/disturbing items and see who can gross out their cashier the most.
**** One internet story claims a lot of fun can be had by buying a selection of increasingly larger condoms, along with [[Gag Penis|plastic wrap and rubber bands]].
**** Conversely, the opposite assumption can be quite useful to fetishists who ARE going to use those items themselves.
* After the [[Libya|Libyan rebels]] conquered Tripoli, under its largest university they found a secret chamber, previously only accessible by the deposed [[Muammar Gaddafi]] and a select few associates. Among other things, it contained a bedroom, jacuzzi, and [[One of These Things Is Not Like the Others|a complete gynaecological equipment setup]].
* For the development of ''[[Left 4 Dead 2]]'', they had a whole folder of injuries to model the textures for the Zombies, so they can be realistically damaged. It was so horrifying that they had to use Potato skins and Insulation foam instead. One can only imagine what went through the cashier's mind when Valve Employees showed up with this in their basket.
* Usually the implements come in a group and that's where the comedy comes from. And then, there was the story of how [[Kevin Smith]] had to have the idea of "[[Prince]] World", the paradigm Prince lives in that seems to be made completely of [[Insane Troll Logic]], explained to him thus:
{{quote|'''Prince's Producer''': "Prince will come to us periodically and say things like, 'It's 3 in the morning in Minnesota. I really need a Camel. Go get it.'"}}
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Noodle Implements{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Absurdity Ascendant]]
[[Category:Dialogue]]
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[[Category:A Tortured Index]]
[[Category:Just for Pun]]
[[Category:Noodle Implements]]
[[Category:Show, Don't Tell]]