Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner: Difference between revisions

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== Films -- Animation ==
* In the opening of ''[[Kung Fu Panda]]'' we have: "The warrior said nothing, for his mouth was full. Then he swallowed. And then he spoke."
** "Enough talk! Let's fight!"
* In ''[[Superman/Batman: Apocalypse]]''...
{{quote|'''Superman:''' This ends now.}}
** He then proceeds to incinerate a whole army of Doomsday clones with a massive, sweeping blast of his heat vision.
* ''[[Team America: World Police]]'': "Hey terrorist... [[Verb This|Terrorize THIS!]]" The whole film is a parody of every cliché in action movies.
* Not an [[Action Hero]] example, but it ''does'' come before ass-kicking . . . . "[[The Nightmare Before Christmas|Hello, Oogie.]]"
* ''[[The Lion King]]'': [[In the Heat of the Night|"They call me MISTER Pig!"]]
 
 
== Films -- Live Action ==
* "I have come here to [[Chew Bubblegum]] and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum!" This famous example was used in ''[[They Live!]]'', but parodying the line has itself become a trope.
* ''[[Shoot'Em Up (film)|Shoot Em Up]]'', whenever [[The Gunslinger|Smith]]'s [[Berserk Button]] gets pressed: "You know what I hate?"
* In ''[[King Arthur (film)|King Arthur]]'', right before the Battle of Badon Hill, Arthur speaks to the Saxon leader Cedric, telling him to "Know this face, Saxon, as it will be the last thing you see before you leave this earth." With a somewhat grudging respect, Cedric mutters as he walks off, "Finally, a man worth killing."
* The first ''[[Blade (film)|Blade]]'', when {{spoiler|Whistler blows into the room where Blade is being held captive,}} "Catch you fuckers at a bad time?!"
** And later on, {{spoiler|before Blade finishes off Frost,}} "Some muthafuckas always trying to ice skate uphill."
* ''[[True Grit]]'', just before {{spoiler|Rooster guns down Ned Pepper and his cohorts in a four-on-one horseback gunfight}}. "Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!"
* ''[[Star Trek: First Contact]]'': Worf - "Assimilate this"
** Alternatively, Data's "Resistance. Is. Futile."
* Frequently subverted in ''[[Big Trouble in Little China]]''. Most of Jack Burton's attempts to offer a Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner seem to precede him either getting his own ass whipped, or putting himself out of action by doing something stupid. Ironically, his successes tend to be preceded by not-very-clever lines, such as saying, "What the hell!" right before he finally nails Lo-Pan (though even that attack initially misfires).
* ''[[Last Action Hero]]'' (Before kicking a police officer in the groin):
{{quote|'''Jack Slater:''' You want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of achers!}}
* ''[[Mystery Men]]''
** The Blue Raja (a second-string superhero with a cutlery-based gimmick) is frequently shown practicing these sorts of thing. ("But I'll forkgive you if you forkgot.")
** His teammate, Mr. Furious, has a plethora of really bad one-liners... Also, the first fight starts with one from each hero present.
* ''[[The Santa Clause (film series)|The Santa Clause]]'': "We're your worst nightmare -- elves with an attitude."
* ''[[The Princess Bride (film)|The Princess Bride]]'': [[Hello]]. [[My Name Is Inigo Montoya]]. [[You Killed My Father]]. [[Prepare to Die]]."
** [[To the Pain]]!
* From ''[[Beowulf (film)|Beowulf]]'':
{{quote|"I am ripper! Tearer! Slasher! Gouger! I am the teeth in the darkness! The talons in the night! Mine is strength! And lust! And power! ''[[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|I! AM! BEOWULF]]''!"}}
** "I'm 'ere to kill your monstah."
* ''[[300]]''
** [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|THIS! IS! SPARTA!]]
** And some other pretty awesome quotes: "Give them nothing! But take from them, everything!", "This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die! Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time.", "Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, FOR TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!!!", "No retreat, no surrender. That is Spartan law. And by Spartan law, we will stand and fight...and die. [[Politically-Correct History|A new age has begun: an age of freedom]]! And all will know that 300 Spartans gave their last breath to defend it!", "Spartans! Prepare for glory! ", "Persians! Come and get them!" (in response to an appeal to lay down their weapons),"We're in for one wild night.", "Spartans! Push!" Needless to say, ''[[300|Three Hundred]]'' was full of ridiculously awesome lines. If you saw only [[Ho Yay]] on the last two, my work here is done.
*** [[Truth in Television]], some of those—although English doesn't really have an exact analog to how "Molon labe" should be translated. Roughly speaking, what is being rendered as "Come and get them!" is more of a "You can have them if you can get to them." The modern English equivalent would be something along the lines of "You can have my weapon when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers." The line isn't really a Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner, it's a [[Facing the Bullets One-Liner|Pre Getting My Ass Kicked One Liner]], as was the other famous line from Plutarch: "Their" (meaning the Persians) "arrows will darken the sun!" "Then we shall fight in the shade."
***** The Spartans didn't get their asses kicked at Thermopylae. True they lost, but they did NOT get their asses kicked.
* ''[[Straw Dogs]]''. "OKAY! You've had your fun! And if you don't clear out now... there'll be real trouble. I mean it." Another example is "This is where I live. This is me. I will not allow violence against this house."
* ''[[Evil Dead]] 2''. "Groovy."
{{quote|'''Deadite:''' I'll swallow your soul!
'''Ash:''' Swallow [[This Is My Boomstick]]. }}
* ''[[Evil Dead|Army of Darkness]]''.
{{quote|'''Ash:''' Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
'''Ash:''' Come get some.
'''Ash:''' All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? [[This Is My Boomstick|This... is my BOOMSTICK!]]
'''Ash:''' Honey, you got reeaalll ugly.
'''Ash''': Yo, she-bitch. [''[[Dramatic Gun Cock|chick-chick]]''] Let's go. }}
* ''[[Grindhouse]]''. "They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!"
{{quote|'''[[Mooks]]:''' Have mercy, father.
'''[[Church Militant|Padre Cheech Marin]]:''' God has mercy. I don't. }}
* Casey Jones in the first ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (film)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' movie: "Now that, was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes. And this is the penalty." and "The class is [[Subject 101|Pain 101]]. Your instructor is Casey Jones."
* ''[[Highlander]]'': "[[Tagline|There can be only one!]]"
* [[Hellboy (film)|Hellboy]] in the first film: "[[You Killed My Father]]. Your ass is mine!"
* ''[[Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull]]'': {{spoiler|"I like Ike."}}
** An [[Don't Explain the Joke|explanation]] for those who don't remember the 1950s: Indy's line was one of President Eisenhower's campaign slogans.
* ''[[The Last Boy Scout]]'': [[Bruce Willis]] tells Damon Wayans, "This is the 90s, you can't just smack a guy in the face. You have to say something clever first. Like if you hit him with a surfboard, you say, 'Surf's up, pal!'"
** "Touch me again, and I'll kill you."
* ''[[Dirty Harry]]'': " 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
* And [[Clint Eastwood]] again, ''[[Sudden Impact]]'' (the fourth in the series) this time: "Go ahead, make my day."
** And then there's this gem:
{{quote|'''Harry Callahan:''' We're not gonna let you walk outta here.
'''Crook:''' Who's "we", suckah!?!
'''Harry Callahan:''' ''(reaching for his gun)'' Smith, Wesson and me! }}
** Also in ''[[The Dead Pool]]:
{{quote|'''Harry Callahan:''' Hey! You forgot your fortune cookie! ''(crumbles cookie, takes slip of paper)'' It says, "You're shit outta luck, punk'". ''(commence ass-kicking, .44 Magnum-style)''}}
** [[Terry Pratchett]] parodies that first one in ''[[Discworld/Night Watch|Night Watch]]''. After going back in time, Vimes attempts to pull a "Me, Mr. Burleigh and Mr. Stronginthearm," version with a crossbow, only to discover, to his great disappointment, that he's still got decades to wait before the first Burleigh & Stronginthearm crossbows will be invented. And it was SUCH a good line, too.
* ''[[The Lord of the Rings (film)|The Lord of the Rings]]'': "Do you not know death when you see it, old man? This is ''my'' hour!"
** "There's plenty for the both of us! May the ''best dwarf win!''
** "Let them come! There is one dwarf in Moria who ''still draws breath!"''
** The rooster crow would've been great, if they'd left it in the movie. Ah well.
** Not quite a one-liner, but "[[You Shall Not Pass]]!" and the little pile of taunts that preceeded it.
{{quote|'''Gandalf:'' You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor! The Dark Fire will NOT avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow!}}
** "[[No Man of Woman Born|I am no man.]]" (face stab)
** "If you want him, come and claim him!" by Arwen. Incidentally, it could be another translation of the Spartan "Molon Labe"
* ''[[Braindead|Dead Alive]]'': [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfkHkdu5IEI "I kick ass for the LORD!"]
* ''[[Bad Taste]]'': [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCzBwid1Ko "Suck my spinning steel, shithead!"]
* ''[[Silent Night, Deadly Night|Silent Night Deadly Night]] 2'': "[[Memetic Mutation/Film|Garbage Day!]]"
* ''[[Batman (film)|Batman]]'' (1989 version). Batman to Joker: "Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light"? {{spoiler|[[Ironic Echo|He stole it from Joker, who used it when he killed Bruce Wayne's parents.]]}}
** The Joker says it earlier to Bruce Wayne {{spoiler|who is puzzled by the line. Only quite some time later does he make the connection with his memory of the murder of his parents}}.
** Horribly disfigured Jack Napier before shooting Boss Grissom: "Just call me... Joker!" (Bonus funny: We suddenly realize that Jack is the name of a playing-card too).
* ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street]]'': "Freddy's gonna get you."
** Also, as delivered by the [[Final Girl]]: [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|Welcome to my world,]] [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|bitch!]]
* ''[[A Clockwork Orange (film)|A Clockwork Orange]]'': "Ho ho ho! Well if it isn't fat, stinking, billygoat Billyboy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles -- if ya have any yarbles, ya eunuch jelly, thou!"
* Guile—played [[So Bad It's Good|memorably]] by [[Jean-Claude Van Damme]]—attempts several of these in ''[[Street Fighter (film)|Street Fighter]]''. Attempts.
{{quote|'''Guile:''' I'm the Repo Man... and you're out of business.
'''Guile:''' This is the collection agency, Bison! Your ass is six month overdue... and it's mine! }}
* [[Scarface]]'s "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"
* ''[[Commando (film)|Commando]]'':
{{quote|'''[[Scary Black Man|Mac]]:''' Scared motherfucker? Well, you should be. 'Cause this Green Beret is gonna kick your big ass!
'''[[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Matrix]]:''' I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now I'm very hungry!
'''Cindy:''' ''(hiding under a table)'' I can't believe all this macho bullshit... }}
** and:
{{quote|'''[[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Matrix]]:''' Remember when I said I would kill you last? ... I lied.}}
* ''[[The Matrix]]'': "[[Verb This|Dodge This]]."
** Also in ''Revolutions'', where the Merovingian is attempting to get the main characters to give him something he wants in order for him to get Neo out of the Matrix. Trinity, with at least two dozen mooks pointing guns at the heads of her, Morpheus, and Seraph, simply says "I don't have time for this shit." and then begins beating the crap out of several of the bodyguards, catching a pistol and holding it against the Merovingian's head.
* Ripley's "Get away from her, you bitch!" in ''[[Alien (franchise)|Aliens]]''.
** As well as "Let's rock!", followed by a long burst of [[BFG|Smart Gun]] fire.
* ''[[The Dark Knight Saga]]'':
{{quote|'''Joker:''' ''(to Rachel)'' A little fight in you, I ''like'' that.
'''Batman:''' Then you're gonna love me.
''(...)''
'''Joker:''' You know how I got these scars?
'''Batman:''' No, but I know how you got these. }}
** And from the previous movie:
{{quote|'''Gigantic Con''': You are in hell, little man. And I am the devil.
'''Bruce Wayne''': You're not the devil, you're practice. }}
* ''[[The Chronicles of Riddick (film)|The Chronicles of Riddick]]''.
{{quote|'''Riddick:''' Remember that favorite game of yours?
'''Kyra:''' "Who's the better killer?"
'''Riddick:''' Let's play. }}
**
{{quote|'''Riddick:''' I can kill you with my teacup.}}
* ''[[Hot Fuzz]]'':
{{quote|'''Nicholas Angel:''' ''(riding into town carrying an obscene amount of weaponry)'' Morning.}}
** There's also this conversation:
{{quote|'''Danny:''' How's Lurch?
'''Nicholas:''' He's in the freezer.
'''Danny:''' Did you say "cool off"?
'''Nicholas:''' No, I didn't say anything actually.
'''Danny:''' That's a shame...
'''Nicholas:''' There was a bit earlier on that you missed, where I distracted him with a cuddly monkey, then I said "Playtime's over!" and hit him with the peace lily.
'''Danny:''' ''(delighted)'' You're off the fuckin' chain! }}
* One of the protagonists in ''[[Race for the Yankee Zephyr]]'' (1981) has a habit of describing the eating habits of the crocodile in disgusting detail to everyone he meets. When he and his friend are stopped at a roadblock of armed mooks, they begin to recite this description in unison—then as the mooks are looking at each other in bemusement launch a [[Groin Attack]].
* ''[[Gran Torino]]'': [[Clint Eastwood]]'s character has a ton of amazing [[One-Liner|one liners]], but some of the best Pre-Asskicking One-Liners are, "Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me." and "Yea? I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house... and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack fucks like you five feet high in Korea... use you for sandbags."
** "''Get off my lawn''".
* ''[[Air Force One (film)|Air Force One]]'': "Get off my plane!"
* ''[[Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen]]'' gives us this exchange as a prelude to (one of) Optimus' [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|CMoA]]:
{{quote|'''Megatron:''' Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
'''Optimus:''' You'll never stop at one... ''I'll take you ALL on!'' }}
** Also:
{{quote|'''Optimus:''' GIVE ME YOUR FACE!}}
** And then, he actually took his face.
** Another from the very beginning, when Optimus single-handedly takes down a decepticon around four times his size that's rampaging through a highway:
{{quote|'''Optimus:''' Pull over!}}
** From [[Transformers (film)|the first movie]], we have 3 from Megatron.
{{quote|'''Megatron''': No, it's ''just'' '''''me''''' Prime!
'''Megatron''': Then you can join them! Right into extinction!
'''Megatron''': Oh? So unwise...''*smashes the ground beneath Sam, sending him falling to his (almost) death*'' }}
** Optimus in ''[[Transformers: Dark of the Moon|Dark of the Moon]]'':
{{quote|'''Megatron''': ...Besides, who would be without me, Prime?
'''Optimus''': {{spoiler|Time to find out.}} }}
* ''[[Die Hard]]'': "Yippie-kai-yay, motherfucker."
* [[Serenity|"My]] [[V for Vendetta|tu]][[Iron Man|rn."]]
* ''[[Mad Max]]'': "Two men enter! One man leaves!"
* [[Tropic Thunder|"Here's my motherfuckin' farm"]]
** Followed up by, "I'm a ''lead'' farmer motherfucker!"
* ''[[Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy]]'' has the great quote by Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate): "Because I am good at three things: Fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be? Huh?"
** Screwing?
** Public news really deserves some credit for their sheer bad-assness.
{{quote|"Public news is taking time off for its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! NO MERCY!"
"Looks like we got a bilingual blood-fest." }}
* ''[[Watchmen (film)|Watchmen]]'':
{{quote|'''Rorshach:''' Men get arrested. Dogs get put down.
''(cue a prolonged scene of Rorshach hacking a man's skull in half)'' }}
* ''[[Harry Potter (film)|Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix]]'':
{{quote|'''Sirius:''' Get away from my godson. ''(SMACK)''}}
 
{{quote|'''Dumbledore''': It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way.
'''Voldemort''': By which point I shall be gone, and you...shall be dead.
*cue the most epic duel in the film franchise at that point* }}
 
{{quote|'''Harry''': "Sorry Professor, I must not tell lies." Cue Umbridge's ass kicking.}}
* ''[[Star Wars]]'' - ''[[Revenge of the Sith]]'': Obi-Wan drops from the rafters into General Grievous' midst. Grievous and his guards turn to look at him.
{{quote|'''[[The Obi-Wan|Obi-Wan Kenobi:]]''' Hello there.}}
** Shortly afterwards in that same scene, Grievous boasts about how he was trained by Count Dooku in the Jedi Arts.
{{quote|''' Obi-Wan:''' Good, because I trained the Jedi who killed Count Dooku.}}
** [[Samuel L. Jackson]] had one, too. It didn't ''work'', but you can't deny it was badass:
{{quote|'''Mace Windu:''' In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic... ''(fires up lightsaber)'' you are under arrest, Chancellor Palpatine.}}
* ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]: At World's End'': "Then what shall we die for?"
* ''[[Equilibrium]]'': "Not without incident."
* Subverted in ''[[United 93]]'' as the passengers psych up for the [[Storming the Castle|rush on the cockpit]]. Todd Beamer's famous, "Let's roll!" is treated as a barely noticeable throw-away.
* ''[[New Jack City]]'': "Idolater! Your soul is required in Hell!"
* "[[Ghostbusters|Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!]]"
* [[Kill Bill|"You and I have unfinished business."]]
** "Bitch, you don't have a future."
* ''[[RoboCop]]''
{{quote|"Dead or alive, you're coming with me."
"Your move, creep." }}
* ''[[Kick-Ass (film)|Kick-Ass]]'': It should be no surprise this has many, but probably the most famous is Hit-Girl's. Wherein she starts by inverting the normal order of things by killing the boss first, then addresses the mooks: "Okay you [[Country Matters|cunts]]...let's see what you can do now." *counts foes and watches to see which one makes a move first* "Eenie...meenie...minie..." *a mook goes for a weapon* "MOE!"
* ''[[Jaws (film)|Jaws]]''
{{quote|"''Smile, you son of a -''" *BOOM*}}
* Played and lampshaded in ''[[Pulp Fiction]]'', by Jules Winfield who recited Ezekiel 25:17 (although an extended version) and admits he liked to do it before killing someone.
* In ''[[Soldier]]'', one super soldier is getting ready to battle a squad of improved versions.
{{quote|"There are seventeen of them. What do you plan to do?"
"I'm going to kill them all." }}
* [[The Scorpion King|Who dies first?]]
* '''[[The Incredible Hulk (film)|HULK SMASH!]]'''
* [[Fatal Deviation|"Fuck you and your gun, ya prick!"]]
* From the final fight with Wesker in ''[[Resident Evil: Afterlife]]'':
{{quote|'''Alice:''' I told you I'd be bringing a few friends.
'''Wesker:''' *Smirking* ...You should have brought more. }}
* In ''[[Sahara]]'', Al Giordino says "Hi, how ya doin'?" several times right before knocking a Mook senseless.
* ''[[Scott Pilgrim vs. the World]]'' gives us this beauty:
{{quote|'''Scott: I dislike you.
'''Todd''': Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
'''Scott''': What?
'''Todd''': Because... because you'll be dust on Monday.
'''Scott''': Huh?
'''Todd''': Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend.
'''Scott''': I'm sorry... what?
'''Todd''': And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?
'''Envy''': What in the hell are you talking about, Todd? }}
* ''[[Judge Dredd (film)|Judge Dredd]]''. During Dredd and Rico's [[Final Battle]]. Slightly subverted in that Rico ends up doing most of the ass kicking at first.
{{quote|'''Rico''': I'm the only one who never lied to you.
'''Dredd''': I'll be the judge of that. }}
* Threatened in ''[[Juice]]'': "''Sit yo' five-dollar ass down before I make change!''"
* [[Precision F-Strike|Fuck you]], [[Leprechaun (film)|Lucky Charms]].
* ''[[Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country|Star Trek VI the Undiscovered Country]]'': [[Tranquil Fury|"Target that explosion and fire."]]
* [[Child's Play (TV series)||"This is the end friend."]]
 
 
== Literature ==
* ''[[Harry Potter/Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows|Harry Potter]]'':
** "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
** Also: "You shouldn't have done that."<ref>Obviously not to be confused with ''[[Ben Drowned]].''</ref>
* In ''Summer Knight'', [[The Dresden Files|Harry Dresden]] rushes into a battle against a faction of [[The Fair Folk]], belting out, "I don't [[Clap Your Hands If You Believe|believe in fairies]]!"
** In ''Welcome To The Jungle'', when asked what his profession is, Harry replies he works in "accounts payable" because he "makes sure everyone gets what's coming to them." Later, when he's going off to confront the [[Big Bad]] we get this exchange:
{{quote|'''Will:''' But what if you need help? Where will you be??
'''Harry:''' Balancing some books. }}
** In ''Small Favor'', Harry comes up with this after {{spoiler|Michael is shot.}}
{{quote|[[Unstoppable Rage|''Fuego''. ''Pyrofuego''.]] '''[[Kill It with Fire|BURN.]]'''}}
** Later, in Changes, when vampires are attacking his building and the people inside it, Harry comments internally on wizards being subtle and quick to anger.
{{quote|'''Harry:''' Fuck Subtle. *steps around the corner and starts roasting some vampires*}}
** In ''Turn Coat'' we have [[Magical Native American|Listens-]][[Martial Pacifist|To-]][[Badass Grandpa|Wind]] versus Shagnasty the [[Eldritch Abomination|Skinwalker]].
{{quote|'''Shagnasty:''' You are not a holy man. You do not follow the Blessing Way. You have no power over me.
'''Listens-To-Wind:''' Don't plan to bind or banish you, old ghost. Just gonna kick your ass up between your ears. '''Let's go'''. [[Shapeshifter Showdown|Which he]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|proceeds to do]]. }}
** In ''Ghost Story'', we get this line from Mortimer right before he {{spoiler|obliterates the Corpsetaker's ghost}}:
{{quote|"But it seems to me, you half-wit, that you probably shouldn’t have left a freaking ectomancer {{spoiler|a pit full of wraiths}} to play with." }}
* [[Gaunt's Ghosts|"Men of Tanith! Do you want to live forever?"]]
** Based off an actual quote from the Battle of Belleau Wood during World War One by USMC Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly.
{{quote|"Come on, you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever?"}}
*** An even earlier version attributes it to Frederick the Great, King of Prussia at the battle of Kolin.
{{quote|"Ihr Racker, wollt ihr ewig leben?" }}
** This quote is echoed once again in ''[[Starship Troopers]]''.
** Also, in Necropolis, Kowle's "Where is your courage? Where is your strength? Where is your conviction?" with the questions punctuated by the execution of his own men.
* ''[[Discworld]]'': "Where's... my... cow? Is that my cow? It goes ''hruuugh'' IT! IS A HIPPOPOTAMUS! [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|THAT! IS! NOT! MY! COW!"]]
** AND NOW THERE REMAINS ONLY ONE FINAL QUESTION -- HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY... OR NICE?
** WHILE IT IS TRUE WE HAVE TO RIDE OUT, IT DOESN'T SAY ANYWHERE AGAINST ''WHOM''
** Subverted, but at the same time a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]]: '''"C'mon if you think you're hard enough!!!"'''
** Some old man told me you live and learn. Well, I have lived, and now I've learned that the edge of a sword is infinitely long. I've also learned how to make damn good yoghurt, although this is not a skill I intend to employ today. Shall we go get' em, boys?
** In response to a thug saying, "There ain't no law here," one Watch officer said, "Guess again." Dirty Harry would be proud to give an ass-kicking like the one that copper then handed out.
* ''[[The Last Battle]]'': "This is my password. ''The light is dawning, the lie broken.'' Now guard thee, miscreant, for I am Tirian of Narnia."
* ''[[Watership Down]]''. Bigwig's Determinator speech, "My Chief Rabbit has told me to defend this run, and until he says otherwise I shall stay here," scares the hraka out of the Efrafans, who mainly respect brute strength and have assumed up to this point that Bigwig ''was'' the Chief Rabbit of his warren. If he's not, there must be an even bigger [[Badass]] Bunny around somewhere. Has emotional meaning as well, since Bigwig swore never to call Hazel the Chief Rabbit until the day he stops fighting.
* Éowyn's speech to the Witch-king in ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]''. This is the second half.
{{quote|"But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund's daughter, and you stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you if you touch him."}}
* From a scene in [[David Weber]]'s ''[[Safehold]]'' book, ''Off Armageddon Reef,'' right before protagonist Merlin Athrawes attacks a [[Smug Snake]]'s [[Mooks]]:
{{quote|'''[[Smug Snake]]:''' After all, what do you think the odds are of you managing to defeat fifteen of my best?
'''Merlin:''' Better than average. }}
* In ''[[Illium]]'', Zeus and the Greek pantheon stand ready to destroy the combined Greek and Trojan armies (long, spoilery story), and then all of humanity. He delivers the classic "Any last words" line in a godly fashion... to which Achilles responds "Surrender now, and we'll spare your goddess's lives so they can be our slaves and courtesans." Despite being a fairly stupid (but awesome) asshole in this story, that may be the ''best'' response to such a line, ever.
* [[Tall, Dark and Handsome|Rastignac]]'s "It's between you and me now, Paris!" in ''Le Père Goriot''.
* ''[[The Wheel of Time]]'' has :
{{quote|'''Mat Cauthon:''' Carai an Caldazar! Carai an Ellisande! Al Ellisande! (For the honor of the Red Eagle! For the Honor of the Rose of the Sun! The Rose of the Sun!)
'''Mat Cauthon:''' Dovie'andi se tovya sagain. (It's time to toss the dice.)
'''Mazrim Taim:''' Asha'man, Kill! }}
* [[The Elenium]]'s confrontation between King Wargun and [[Knight in Sour Armor|Sparkhawk]], when the King is pulling rank and Sparhawk doesn't feel like cooperating.
{{quote|'''King Wargun:''' I have a thousand picked men at my back!
'''Sparhawk:''' How many are you prepared to lose? }}
* The [[Sten]] series book ''Fleet of the Damned'' provides this: "We are now attacking a Tahn battlefleet. There are at least two battleships with the fleet. We are going to kill them." Ironically, Sten ''didn't'' consider this an example, and in fact felt it would be a waste of time to give an "England Expects." He was commanding an obsolete heavy cruiser, and {{spoiler|they ''did'' destroy one state-of-the-art battleship, and cripple the other beyond repair}}.
* Steven Erikson's [[Malazan Book of the Fallen]] - Memories of Ice
{{quote|After Quick Ben unleashes half of his warrens (sources of magical power) to blast Korbal Broach through a wall, Bauchelain, partner of the aforementioned Korbal Broach, notes that Quick Ben's power is most impressive, but that, in retrospect, he ought to have saved at least half his warrens.
"But Bauchelain," replies Quick Ben, "I did."
He then blows Bauchelain through the wall too. }}
* In the ''[[Codex Alera]]'' series by [[Jim Butcher]], Aldrick ex Gladius, one of the recurring antagonists, is widely renowned as the second best swordsman in the known lands, only being passed up by one other. He often uses this fact to unnerve his opponents, and his skill ensures that it's hammered in quickly enough.
{{quote|'''Aldrick''': The only man to best me with a blade was Araris Valerian....and you aren't Araris.}}
** Subverted, however, in the first book. The person he's attacking ''isn't'' Araris...{{spoiler|but he's very close by}}. Aldrick's brief [[Villainous Breakdown]] when {{spoiler|Araris intervenes}} is a sight to behold.
* From ''[[True Grit]]'' by Charles Portis (and both film versions), we have this exchange before the final showdown:
{{quote|'''Rooster:''' I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned, or see you hanged at Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
'''Ned:''' I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
'''Rooster:''' ''Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!'' }}
* [[Solomon Kane]], before his [[Knife Fight]] with the Fishhawk:
{{quote|"There be many fires, scum, some hotter than others - but save the fires of Hell - all fires - may be - quenched - by - ''blood!''"}}
* In Bryan Young's ''Lost At The Con'', the alcoholic gonzo journalist protagonist is trying to defend a young female cosplayer from handsy frat boys, and getting his ass kicked, when suddenly...
{{quote|'''Cybernetic!Abraham Lincoln''': A house divided against itself cannot stand. [''starts punching frat boys in the face'']}}
* [[Percy Jackson & the Olympians|Jason Grace]] in ''The Lost Hero'' has one badass and laconic enough to be worthy of a Roman Praetor; "My turn."
 
 
== Live Action TV ==
* Subversion: the ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' episode "[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Recap/S3/E12 Helpless|Helpless]]" had Buffy [[Brought Down to Normal]] for the duration, which also neutered her ability to deliver a suitable line when she finally managed to defeat the bad guy:
{{quote|'''Buffy:''' If I was at full Slayer power, I'd be punning right about now.}}
** In the episode "Anne", Buffy has run away from home and changed her name to Anne (her middle name). In the course of the episode, she finds herself trapped in a demonic dimension where humans are made into slave labor. One of the demons is trying to break the humans' spirit by asking them "Who are you" and hitting them if they answer anything but "No one". What does Buffy answers, just before kicking everyone's ass?
{{quote|'''Buffy:''' I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. And you are?.}}
** When Buffy is gone, Willow tries to replicate her punning—doing it herself between Seasons 2 and 3 (when Buffy was in L.A.), and programming it into the Buffybot between Seasons 5 and 6 (when Buffy was dead). With minimal success: "That'll put marzipan on your pie plate, bingo!"
** [[Break the Cutie|Dark/Royally Pissed Off]] Willow is actually quite adept at badass one-liners. Standouts include [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|I. OWE. YOU. PAIN.]] and "Bag of tricks?" "Bag of ''knives'' ".
** Which brings us to the most cold-blooded pre-killing line of all time: "Bored now." Which was made more poignant by the fact that it was [[Lesbian Vampire|Vampire Willow's]] catchphrase, last heard 3 years before.
* [[Angel]] attempted a ton of these. One of the few that stuck was in the series finale. Angel is being tossed around humiliatingly by one of the chief mooks, who takes time to gloat over this, explaining that Angel cannot defeat him, that the power of The Big Bad {{spoiler|flows in his blood}}. Cut to Angel switching to vamp face.
{{quote|'''Angel (in vamp face)''': [[Nice Job Fixing It, Villain|Can you pick out the one word there you probably]] ''[[Nice Job Fixing It, Villain|shouldn't]]'' [[Nice Job Fixing It, Villain|have said]]?}}
* ''[[Dark Angel]]'': When Max catches a Peeping Tom.
{{quote|'''Max:''' What did I say would happen if I caught you peeping again?
'''Guy:''' Can't help it Max, you're the bomb.
'''Max:''' Kaboom. (''Max delivers a [[Groin Attack]].'') }}
* ''[[Doctor Who]]'': "EXTERMINATE!"
** [[Crowning Moment/Doctor Who|"Who are you calling small?"]]
** "This is a FIGHTING hand!"
** "I'm quite spry for my age..."
** "You're a bad dog." "Affirmative."
** "I'm River Song. Check your records again."
** "I'VE GOT A SAYING, FEEL THIS!"
** "Would you like me to repeat the question?" (more post-asskicking, but still awesome.) Before that moment, there was this. "<big> Where. Is. My. Wife. </big>" By the same guy: "Heil!"
* Gene Hunt of ''[[Life on Mars|Life On Mars 2006]]'' and ''[[Ashes to Ashes]]'' is especially fond of these—among the most memorable being his [[Incoming Ham|first line]] in the latter series:
{{quote|'''Gene:''' Today, my friend, your diary entry will read "Took a prozzie hostage and was shot by three armed ''bastards''."}}
** Which was based on his original, fondly remembered "You are surrounded by armed BASTARDS!" Gene get's a ton of these.
** Alex also gets a pre/post one-liner in the first series;
{{quote|'''Gene:''' *Generic prostitution insult*
'''Alex:''' [[Armor-Piercing Slap|*SLAP*]]
'''Gene:''' Better now?
'''Alex:''' No. [[Megaton Punch|*Punches him in the jaw*]] Better now. [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Come on ladies, let's get pissed.]] }}
* On ''[[Community]]'', during the second paintball game, a third City College stormtrooper runs up to the two celebrating that they've won. It's actually Pierce in disguise, and when asked who he is, his only reply is "Your mother's lover!" before opening fire and winning the game.
** In the first Paintball game they take down the chess club with "Checkmate, [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|bitches!]]"
* Possibly the most emphatic of all. In the finale of the second series of ''[[Primeval]]'', after Cutter is being played with by a Future Predator:
{{quote|'''Cutter''': Enough. *proceeds to shoot Future Predator*}}
** Cutter gets a lot of these.
{{quote|'''Cutter''': *when faced with giant mer creature* Time to go home.}}
* At the end of the first series of ''[[Merlin (TV series)|Merlin]]'', this gem.
{{quote|'''Merlin''': *Gets up from normally deadly injury* You should not have killed my friend. *And then proceeds to harness lightning by merely ''lifting his hand'' (in the Merlinverse, powerful magic requires incantation)*}}
* An episode of ''[[Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' had [[Whoopi Goldberg]]'s bartender character breaking up a bar fight with a big gun:
{{quote|'''Guinan:''' ''(fires a blast into the air)'' This is a little souvenir I picked up from Magus III. That was setting number one. Anyone wanna see setting number two?}}
* Meanwhile, on ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]'', Janeway has a couple, such as "Time's up!" and "[[Landfill Beyond the Stars|Time to take out the garbage]]." (It makes sense in context.)
{{quote|'''Janeway:''' ''(to a blustering Kazon captain)'' You know, I'm an easy person to get along with most of the time. But I don't like threats, and I don't like bullies, and I don't like YOU.}}
** "Hello. I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway. Welcome to the bridge." immediately before the self-destruct detonated and blew up a parallel universe duplicate of Voyager
* ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]]''. Both used and spoofed in the episode "To the Death", where the crew of the Defiant team up with the Jem'Hadar to track down some renegades.
{{quote|'''Jem'Hadar First:''' ''(to his [[Mooks]])'' I am First Omet'iklan, and I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead. We go into battle to reclaim our lives. This we do gladly, for we are Jem'Hadar. Remember: Victory is Life!
'''Chief O'Brien:''' ''(to his [[Red Shirt|Redshirts]])'' ''I'' am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien. I am very much alive, and [[Contractual Immortality|I intend to stay that way]]. }}
* Eliot from ''[[Leverage]]'' gets one in:
{{quote|'''Eliot:''' What smells like crank and cries like a little girl? ''(breaks his legs)'' Right answer!}}
* "[[Kamen Rider Den-O|Ore... SANJOU!]] [[Boisterous Bruiser|From start to finish, I'm always at a climax!]] [[Bring It|Let's go, let's go, LET'S GO!!]]"
* Mal from ''[[Firefly]]'' gets an awesome one of these against Niska in "War Stories":
{{quote|'''Mal:''' Looks like business ain't running so much as crawling away. ''You wanna meet the real me now?''}}
** Simon Tam: ''Yes, she always did love to dance.''
** River Tam: You've always taken care of me... ''My turn.''
* ''[[FlashForward]]'''s Simon had a good one, after confronting the good that chopped off his finger.
{{quote|'''Simon''': Word of advice? Next time, take the trigger finger.}}
* [[The Psycho Rangers]] from ''[[Power Rangers in Space]]'' have a pretty epic group one.
{{quote|'''Psycho Red''': We're the Psycho Rangers.
'''Psycho Black''': We're faster than you.
'''Psycho Blue''': Smarter than you.
'''Psycho Yellow''': Stronger than you.
'''Psycho Pink''': [[Card-Carrying Villain|But we're evil!]] }}
* Parodied, then discussed in ''[[Power Rangers RPM]]'' at the start of the "Ranger Red" episode, where Scott and Ziggy comes across a group of [[Mecha-Mooks|Grinders]] terrorizing a mother and her baby.
{{quote|'''Scott:''' Shh... You'll wake the baby.
'''Ziggy:''' Yeah, and if you wake the baby, I might just have to sing you all a sweet little lullaby, and then tuck you into bed without any dessert, or even a single goodnight kiss... ''(notices Scott staring at him)'' Oh, wait, wait, what am I even saying. That... that didn't even make sense. I'm really sorry, um... kinda new at being a Power Ranger. I'm, I'm still working on my, uh... my hero one-liners, so...
'''Scott:''' Look, Zig. I told you. They're called 'one-liners' for a reason. We're action heroes. When it comes to talking -- ''(Scott takes out three Grinders with a Capoiera kick)'' -- less is more. }}
* ''[[Boardwalk Empire]]'': more of a Pre-{{spoiler|Fingorn}} One Liner—Chalky sits down with a [[Acceptable Targets|Klansman]] and tells him a story about how his carpenter father was asked to build a bookcase by a white man, and after he worked long and hard on it, the man and his friends rewarded him for his troubles by {{spoiler|lynching him.}} Chalky then unrolls a set of his father's tools, and the Klansman nervously asks what he intends to do with them. Chalky just replies [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|"Well...I ain't buildin' no bookcase."]]
* [[Stargate SG-1|SG1's]] Jack O'Neill and [[Stargate Atlantis|Atlantis's]] John Sheppard, both of whom are masters of this trope, with too many examples to mention. And the rest of their teams are no slouches either.
* From ''Enos'': A cop pops out of hiding and pulls a gun on two thugs, saying, "Your tax dollars at work."
* From ''[[Sanctuary]]''
{{quote|'''Vampire Queen Afina''': You're out of your depth, mongrel.
'''[[Nikola Tesla]]''': I'd rather be a mongrel than a stuck up, inbred bitch. }}
 
 
== Music ==
* ''The Protomen'''s song Vengeance might as well be made up of Megaman one-liners, since the track is about Megaman slaughtering Robot Masters. An actual quote from the song is: "Send me the best you've got! Send me your strongest machines. The fight my brother fought here, now, will end with me" Also, after he actually trashes the first wave of robots he's not nearly satisfied so he says: "All you wounded, those of you who can, pick yourself off the ground, hurry back, tell your leader you'll need more men." as he prepares for the second wave.
* [[Limp Bizkit]] gets one in their song 'Break Stuff', that leaves the ass-kicking to your imagination:
{{quote|"I pack a chainsaw. I'll skin your ass raw. And if my day keeps going this way, I just might BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT!"}}
* An exaple that is both this and a Post Ass-Kicking One Liner (after one ass-kicking, but before the next) from [[Tenacious D|Tenacious D's]] ''Tribute''
{{quote|Needless to say, [[Our Demons Are Different|the beast]] was stunned.
Whip-crack went his whoopy tail,
And the beast was done.
He asked us: "Be you angels?"
And we said, "[[Large Ham|Nay! We are but]] [[Badass Normal|men!]] '''[[Power of Rock|ROCK!]]'''" }}
 
 
== Professional Wrestling ==
* [[CM Punk]], [[One of Us|a true comic fan]], has been using the Thing's catchphrase "It's clobberin' time!" throughout his career. Right as he comes through the curtain, he stops on the stage and delivers the line right before his match. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=dhl8mlKToTY\]
 
 
== Religion ==
* [[The Bible]]: "[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges%203:12-30;&version=31; I have a message for you from the Lord]."
** "[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Samuel%2017:45-50;&version=31; ... and He will give all of you into our hands.]"
 
 
== Theater ==
* [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]]'s action scenes often use Pre-Asskicking One-Liners—like ''[[Macbeth]]'' and ''[[Henry IV Part 1]]''.
** Macbeth: "Lay on, Macduff, and damn'd be him who first cries, 'Hold! Enough!'"
** Henry V, "God for Harry! England and Saint George!"
** Several from ''[[Romeo and Juliet]]'':
{{quote|'''Tybalt:''' What, drawn and talk of peace?! I hate the word. As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee. Have at thee, coward!
'''Mercutio:''' Come sir, your ''passado''.
'''Romeo:''' This shall determine that. }}
* ''[[Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (theatre)|Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street]]'': BENJAMIN BARKER!
 
 
== Toys ==
* ''[[Bionicle]]'' has Nidhiki's line to Tuyet:
{{quote|'''Nidhiki''': Hi, dear. I'm home.}}
 
 
== Video Games ==
* [[Command & Conquer|"I got a present for ya!"]]