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{{work|wppage=Quark (TV series)}}
{{quote|'''Quark''': They're chasing us? Ficus, who are they?
'''Ficus''': Well, commander, there are three possibilities. Either they are the dreaded Gorgons, in which we'll probably all be killed, or they're the allies of the dreaded Gorgons-
'''Quark''': Ficus, I don't have time for long lists!
'''Ficus''': -in which case we'll probably also be killed.
'''Quark''': Ficus, what you're saying is that all possibilities end in our death.
|"All the Emperor's Quasi-Norms, Part 1"}}
Not a [[Deep Space Nine|Ferengi bartender]], nor a [[
The show was set on the ''United Galaxies Sanitation Patrol Cruiser'', a garbage scow working for the United Galaxies Space Station Perma 1. It regularly satirized ''[[Star Trek]]'', ''[[Star Wars]]'', ''[[2001: A Space Odyssey]]'', and ''[[Flash Gordon (
* '''Adam Quark''': [[The Captain]], who longs for glamorous assignments, but ends up picking up garbage bags. Often gets into adventures without meaning to.
* '''The Bettys''': The [[Bridge Bunnies]], navigators and pilots of the ship. One of them is a clone of the other, but neither one will admit which. Both of them lust after Quark. Notably played by a pair of Doublemint gum twins.
* '''Gene/Jean''': [[Number Two]], with the twist that he's a "transmute," with both male and female chromosomes (and both sets of hormones). Thus, as Gene, he's a [[Jerkass]], but as Jean (complete with a [[Cross
* '''Ficus Pandorata''': [[The Spock]] taken to the extremes, he's a "Vegeton," a member of [[Plant Aliens|sentient plant race]]. He always speaks with [[Spock Speak]], has no emotions at all, cares about no one, and breeds by pollinating.
* '''Andy''': A [[Cowardly Sidekick]] [[Robot Buddy]], he was basically a stupid Marvin a year before ''[[
* '''Otto Palindrome''': The [[Obstructive Bureaucrat]] who is in charge of Perma 1. He loves making Quark miserable.
* '''Dink''': The [[Non
* '''The Head''': The [[Bad Boss]] crossed with a giant [[Rubber Forehead Aliens|Rubber Forehead Alien]], Otto answered to him, and he frequently assigned Quark to bizarre jobs.
{{tropelist}}
* [[Affectionate Parody]]
* [[
* [[
* [[Cloning Blues]]:
* [[Cool Starship]]:
* [[Death Trap]]:
* [[Evil Overlord]]:
* [[Evil Twin]]:
* [[Fan Service]]:
* [[Friday Night Death Slot]]
* [[Gender Blender Name]]:
* [[Lotus Eater Machine]]:
* [[MacGuffin]]:
▲* [[Lotus Eater Machine]] (in "Goodbye Polumbus," the Gorgons' machine designed to drain the minds of brilliant scientists traps the crew in their own fantasies, in a parody of the ''[[Star Trek]]'' episode "Shore Leave")
* [[Mad
▲* [[MacGuffin]] (in "All the Emperor's Quasi-Norms," Zorgon demands Quark tell him where "it" is. Quark, having no idea what "it" is, lies. We never find out exactly what "it" is, but Quark ends up with a worthless rock necklace.)
* [[Meaningful Name]]:
▲* [[Mad Scientists Beautiful Daughter]] (Princess Libido, daughter of Zorgon, who wants to marry Ficus)
* [[Multi
▲* [[Meaningful Name]] (parodied - Ficus is a plant, Palindrome's first name is one, Gene/Jean has male and female chromosomes in their genes, Andy is an android, etc.)
▲* [[Multi Armed and Dangerous]] (in the pilot there was Interface, a four-armed alien woman who controlled communications between ships)
* [[Overnight Age
▲* [[Negative Space Wedgie]] (couldn't avoid 'em as it parodied ''[[Star Trek]]'')
* [[Perpetual Poverty]]:
▲* [[Overnight Age Up]] (in a parody of the ''[[Star Trek]]'' episode "The Deadly Years," Quark due to some [[Applied Phlebotinum]] starts aging two years for every hour)
* [[Planet of Hats]]:
▲* [[Perpetual Poverty]] (when Palindrome and the Head have to send a [[Science Marches On|telegram]] to Quark in the pilot, they end up spending the entire episode arguing about the cost of sending it and trying to reduce the number of words)
{{quote|
▲* [[Planet of Hats]] (The Gorgons are all sort of a [[Proud Warrior Race Guy|proud warrior race]] that's evil, too. For example:
▲{{quote| "People of Spartan, this is the High Gorgon. I command your unconditional surrender. You shall be treated with compassion, honor and patience. You have twenty seconds before I blow you out of the galaxy."}}
* [[The Force]]:
▲* [[Techno Babble]] (satirizes it)
* [[Twin Threesome Fantasy]]:
▲* [[The Force]] (parodied, along with ''[[Star Wars]]'', in "May the Source Be With You.")
▲* [[Twin Threesome Fantasy]] (both Bettys love Captain Quark, but there's a stigma against sleeping with a clone, so since he never knew which one was a clone, he couldn't sleep with either)
▲* [[Science Marches On]] (see above, re: sending a telegram. In the 23rd century.)
** Despite the fact that "telegram" is an archaic term, the general principle of keeping messages short to save on costs is one that will probably be with us for many centuries to come. Today, in the early 21st century, users of cell phones typically keep text messages as short as possible so as to fall under their calling plan's texting limit, to the point of using standard abbreviations. The cost per bit of sending a transmission across ''interstellar distances'' would have to be enormous.
* [[Single
* [[Small Annoying Creature]]:
* [[Split Personality]]:
* [[Suspiciously Similar Substitute]]:
* [[That's No Moon]]:
{{quote|
'''Leader of the Spartans''': A ship? We see no ship. All I see is a large maroon planet.
'''High Gorgon''': That is my space ship!
'''Leader of the Spartans''': ''(pause)'' Just give us a few minutes to move our things out of the palace. }}
* [[The Unintelligible]]:
* [[Tin Can Robot]]:
* [[You Mean "Xmas"]]:
{{reflist}}
[[Category:TV Series]]
[[Category:Speculative Fiction Series]]
[[Category:Fantastic Comedy]]
[[Category:American Series]]
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