"A player is never late, Dave. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when the plot dictates he should."
—Shamus Young
"When the players really, seriously, just won't get on with the adventure as planned it can be sorely tempting to very gently prod them tentatively in the vague direction of one possible path towards getting on the right track to accomplishing some of the things that might help them in their eventual quest to achieve the adventure goals. Only the most perversely twisted players appreciate this behaviour from the GM."
Aragorn: I hate this campaign so much. Gimli: Oh shut up, you're not the only one who hates this campaign you know. DM: [narrating] The dark door gapes before you like the mouth of -- Aragorn: No you don't understand, I'm wearing boots of +3 to hating this campaign. Legolas: Yeah? Well, I have ten ranks in the "Hating This Campaign" skill. DM: Are you guys about done? Gimli: I rolled a one on my saving throw vs. hating this campaign. DM:DO YOU MIND? CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?
[beat] DM: All done now? Good. [starts narrating again] The dark door gapes before you like the -- Gimli: At last level up I took the feat "Improved Hating This Campaign." DM:Rocks Fall. Everyone Dies.
DM: After many hard days of travel you reach Weathertop. Aragorn: You know what guys? I'm thinking... screw that. Frodo: Forget it. No way I'm climbing that thing. DM: You are too weary to go on tonight. You must rest, and there's nowhere else around to make camp. Frodo: We'll just sleep at the bottom of the hill then. DM: You're so tired that the ground around here is not restful enough. You need to rest in the more comfortable area on top of the hill. Frodo: Then we probably don't have the energy to climb the hill anyway. DM: No, you have just enough energy to climb this hill, but not enough energy to go on or look for somewhere else to camp. Frodo: That is a very specific level of tired. DM: Maybe. Anyway, it's also dark now. Aragorn: Hey guys, I have an idea. Let's camp on this huge hill tonight. DM: Good idea. Sam: Stupid DM.
Legolas: Oh no. It's like we've entered a non-interactive cutscene. Aragorn: Entered? We've been in one since Rivendell.
