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Self-Abuse: Difference between revisions
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Not to be [[I Thought It Meant|confused with]] [[Self-Harm]].
{{noreallife|sorry, we have to impose Wikipedia's "reliable sources" rule on this one.}}
{{examples}}
== Anime and Manga ==
* In the hentai manga ''Bust to Bust'', one of the girls is enough of a nymphomaniac that she can't stop diddling herself when her boyfriend isn't around. She's also [[Cloudcuckoolander|kinda crazy]], which leads him to claim "I guess masturbation really does melt your brain. Better not report this to any scientific institutions..."
== Film ==
* In ''[[Police Academy
▲* In ''[[Police Academy 2]]'', the disgruntled prankster recruit Mahoney swaps the overbearing [[Drill Sergeant Nasty|man in charge of recruit training]]'s shampoo with fast-curing helmet repair epoxy. This has the desired effect of Supergluing the victim's hands to his head. When he finally manages to get his hands free, they are naturally covered with hair. When he asks a group of recruits if anyone can explain how this happened, Mahoney replies, "I can, sir. And if you don't stop, you'll go blind."
* ''[[Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' includes Dr. Augustine's blink-and-you'll-miss-it line as Jake is examining his new body's neural queue (in his hair, as a ponytail): "[[Parental Bonus|Don't play with that, you'll go blind.]]"
* In ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]: Dead Man's Chest'', when the other crew members see the hairy black spot on Jack's hand (the mark of a curse), he's quick to say that his eyesight's as good as ever.
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{{quote|'''Jim:''' Maybe Stifler can be nice, and nothing will go wrong.
'''Michelle:''' ...aw, sweetie. You've gotta stop masturbating. It's melting your brain. }}
* In ''[[The Love Guru]]'', the protagonist is told by his severely
== Jokes ==▼
* There are plenty of jokes about how parents will lecture their children about masturbation and its negative consequences. One gem we heard a lot in school was about a dad who tells his son to stop masturbating or he will go blind... and his son then tells him that he is looking in the wrong direction and that he is standing over here, [[Hypocritical Humor|implying that the dad can't see well as a result of him masturbating too]].▼
* Variations on the theme of "Masturbating'll make you go blind, you know!" "Who said that?" and "Masturbation'll go make you go deaf!" "What? Speak up!" are always popular in junior high.▼
== Literature ==
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I gulped. "Well, gosh, Junior..." Then I saw what he meant. "Yeah, sure I am, Junior. Six or seven times a night. It'll drive me crazy and no nice girl will marry me and all my kids will be idiots. Be sure to tell your old man that for me next time you write." I snatched up my towel and stalked off to the showers. }}
▲== Live Action TV ==
* [[Played With]] in an episode of ''[[Supernatural]]''. Sam and Dean wind up in a town where all the old wives tales - like "your face will stick that way" - actually come true, and Dean realises it's affecting them when he ends up with hairy palms. Sam is not amused.
* ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'', "Body Care and Grooming": "And remember, when you touch yourself, the saints cry. Good night."
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'''Graeme:''' ...Pardon?
'''Tim:''' ...Oh, I'm so sorry. }}
== Music ==
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I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter
my knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind." }}
== Radio ==
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'''Denis:''' ...What?
'''John:''' ...Right. }}
== Video Games ==
* ''[[Lunar Silver Star Story Complete]]'' for the [[PS 1]] had a part where the lights go out and leave the party blind. Kyle says "I can't see! I'm blind! But I thought that was only a myth!" to which Nall replies "What do you mean? The cave went dark!" Jessica says "Trust me, Nall, you DON'T want to know what he's talking about."
== Web Original ==
* Bakura in ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series]]'' gets afflicted with "the deadliest of all British diseases": Wanker's Cramp.
** In the closing credits of that episode we get the sage advice "Avoid Wanker's Cramp! Know your limits!"
▲== Jokes ==
▲* There are plenty of jokes about how parents will lecture their children about masturbation and its negative consequences. One gem we heard a lot in school was about a dad who tells his son to stop masturbating or he will go blind... and his son then tells him that he is looking in the wrong direction and that he is standing over here, [[Hypocritical Humor|implying that the dad can't see well as a result of him masturbating too]].
▲* Variations on the theme of "Masturbating'll make you go blind, you know!" "Who said that?" and "Masturbation'll go make you go deaf!" "What? Speak up!" are always popular in junior high.
== Western Animation ==
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[[Category:Did Not Do the Research]]
[[Category:Sex Tropes]]
[[Category:
[[Category:A Date with Rosie Palms]]
[[Category:No Real Life Examples, Please]]
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