Slumdog Millionaire/Funny: Difference between revisions

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The entirety of the scene where Jamal masquerades as a tour guide, making everything up as he goes along.

Jamal: (pointing) This is...the Taj Mahal.
(Long, slightly awkward pause as the tourist couple waits for him to continue)
Jamal: The Taj Mahal was built by the Emperor Khurram for his wife Mumtaz who was maximum beautiful woman in the whole world. When she died, the Emperor decided to build this five star hotel for everyone who wanted to visit her tomb...but he died in- in 1587, before any of the rooms were built. Or the lifts. (gestures towards fountains) The swimming pool, however, as you can see was completed on schedule in top class fashion.
Woman: It says nothing of this in the guide book.
Jamal: With respect, Madam, the guide book is written by a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing, Indian beggars.
Woman: Oh.
Jamal: And this, Lady and Gentleman, is burial place of Mumtaz.
Woman: How did she die?
Jamal: (solemnly) A road traffic accident.
Woman: Really?
Jamal: Maximum pile-up.
Man: (suspicious) I thought she died in childbirth.
Jamal: (pauses, then nods wisely) Exactly, Sir. She was on the way to the hospital when it happened. (moves on)
(The couple glances at each other)
Woman: (shrugs) You've seen the way they drive around here...

"I live at Loch Big Ben. It's right next to Sean Connery's flat"

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{work}}
 * The entirety of the scene where Jamal masquerades as a tour guide, making everything up as he goes along.
-{{quote| '''Jamal:''' ''(pointing)'' This is...the Taj Mahal.<br />
+{{quote|'''Jamal:''' ''(pointing)'' This is...the Taj Mahal.
-''(Long, slightly awkward pause as the tourist couple waits for him to continue)''<br />
+''(Long, slightly awkward pause as the tourist couple waits for him to continue)''
-'''Jamal:''' The Taj Mahal was built by the Emperor Khurram for his wife Mumtaz who was maximum beautiful woman in the whole world. When she died, the Emperor decided to build this five star hotel for everyone who wanted to visit her tomb...but he died in- in 1587, before any of the rooms were built. Or the lifts. ''(gestures towards fountains)'' The swimming pool, however, as you can see was completed on schedule in top class fashion.<br />
+'''Jamal:''' The Taj Mahal was built by the Emperor Khurram for his wife Mumtaz who was maximum beautiful woman in the whole world. When she died, the Emperor decided to build this five star hotel for everyone who wanted to visit her tomb...but he died in- in 1587, before any of the rooms were built. Or the lifts. ''(gestures towards fountains)'' The swimming pool, however, as you can see was completed on schedule in top class fashion.
-'''Woman:''' It says nothing of this in the guide book.<br />
+'''Woman:''' It says nothing of this in the guide book.
-'''Jamal:''' With respect, Madam, the guide book is written by a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing, Indian beggars.<br />
+'''Jamal:''' With respect, Madam, the guide book is written by a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing, Indian beggars.
-'''Woman:''' Oh.<br />
+'''Woman:''' Oh.
-'''Jamal:''' And this, Lady and Gentleman, is burial place of Mumtaz.<br />
+'''Jamal:''' And this, Lady and Gentleman, is burial place of Mumtaz.
-'''Woman:''' How did she die?<br />
+'''Woman:''' How did she die?
-'''Jamal:''' ''(solemnly)'' A road traffic accident.<br />
+'''Jamal:''' ''(solemnly)'' A road traffic accident.
-'''Woman:''' Really?<br />
+'''Woman:''' Really?
-'''Jamal:''' Maximum pile-up.<br />
+'''Jamal:''' Maximum pile-up.
-'''Man:''' ''(suspicious)'' I thought she died in childbirth.<br />
+'''Man:''' ''(suspicious)'' I thought she died in childbirth.
-'''Jamal:''' ''(pauses, then nods wisely)'' Exactly, Sir. She was on the way to the hospital when it happened. ''(moves on)''<br />
+'''Jamal:''' ''(pauses, then nods wisely)'' Exactly, Sir. She was on the way to the hospital when it happened. ''(moves on)''
-''(The couple glances at each other)''<br />
+''(The couple glances at each other)''
 '''Woman:''' ''(shrugs)'' You've seen the way they drive around here... }}
 * "I live at [[You Fail Geography Forever|Loch Big Ben]]. It's right next to [[Sean Connery]]'s flat"