So Bad It's Horrible/Fan Works/Fanfic A-D: Difference between revisions

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 ** Synopsis: Micki (or Miki — consistent spelling is not its strong point) is caught harboring a Jewish family and carted off to Auschwitz. After being raped by a guard, she's taken in by the [[Sarcasm Mode|good doctor]] Mengele and sets off a "torrid" affair that predates ''Twilight'' in its creepiness (the fact she displays no emotion whatsoever amps up this to Eleven). Along the way she [[Moral Event Horizon|burns a room full of innocent Jewish people while getting back at the guard that attacked her]], and she and Mengele fight/break up/make up many times. In the end she's abandoned, goes insane, and is gunned down while trying to leave the camp.
 ** Comments: This is one of the "Golden Oldies" from the GodAwful Fanfiction Forum, just say "Josef Mengele [[Mary Sue]]" and many people will know ''exactly'' which fic you mean. As if the subject matter wasn't Squicktacular enough, the author's "Disclaimer" at the end shows an unbridled arrogance:
-{{quote|''As an "author", I try to take what you might see as a BAD situation and turn it into a GOOD thing. A "romantic" thing, if you will. I will try to take the worst, most appalling things imaginable, and, (if I write the story to the best of my ability), actually make you wish you were there.''
+{{quote|''As an "author", I try to take what you might see as a BAD situation and turn it into a GOOD thing. A "romantic" thing, if you will. I will try to take the worst, most appalling things imaginable, and, (if I write the story to the best of my ability), actually make you wish you were there.''}}
-}}
 *** Clearly, the author failed at that...
-* '''[[Chibi Usa's Seventh Birthday|Chibi Usa's 7th Birthday]]'''. (explicit sex {including ''pedophilia'' and ''parent/child incest'', brutal rape, and a lot of [[O-Ring Orifice|physical impossibility]]})
+* '''[[Chibi Usa's Seventh Birthday|Chibi Usa's 7th Birthday]]'''. (explicit sex including ''pedophilia'' and ''parent/child incest'', brutal rape, and a lot of [[O-Ring Orifice|physical impossibility]])
 ** Fandom: ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.
 ** Pairing: Chibi-Usa / ''absolutely everyone'', plus random pairings in the background.
 ** Synopsis: All the Sailors and Tuxedo Mask (her '''father''') decide to give Chibi-Usa a "special" birthday celebration.
-** Comments: The ''other'' classic contender for worst fanfic ever written back in the day. Along with the brutality (the crying, the bleeding), the sheer anatomical impossibility of most of what's described (has the author seen a ''human being'', ever?), and the fact that [[Squick|by the end, she likes it]], there's spelling and punctuation errors, terrible formatting, and the [[IKEA Erotica|robotic description of what gets stuck where when...]] Now we know what you're thinking — "Oh, it's just a badly-written porn fic. I can handle it." No, you can't. You really can't. Don't read it as a joke, don't read it out of curiosity, don't try to [[MST]] it with your friends — don't read it. Ever.
+** Comments: One of the classic contenders for worst fanfic ever written back in the late nineties. Along with the brutality (the crying, the bleeding), the sheer anatomical impossibility of most of what's described (has the author seen a ''human being'', ever?), and the fact that [[Squick|by the end, she likes it]], there's spelling and punctuation errors, terrible formatting, and the [[IKEA Erotica|robotic description of what gets stuck where when...]] Now we know what you're thinking — "Oh, it's just a badly-written porn fic. I can handle it." No, you can't. You really can't. Don't read it as a joke, don't read it out of curiosity, don't try to [[MST]] it with your friends — don't read it. Ever.
 * '''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6410693/1/The_Chonicles_Of_Sono_Asahina The Chronicles of Sono Asahina]''' ([[Beige Prose]], [[Self Insert]] [[Copy Cat Sue]], [[Lolicon|attention drawn to the breasts of young female characters]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|horrible formatting]].
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 ** Synopsis: [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|Cloud mows the lawn]] with Tifa watching him. She gets so engrossed in watching him that she craps on the floor. Then he comes in and [[Conveniently-Common Kink|discovers that he likes scat, too]]. [[Coitus Ensues|Sex ensues.]]
 ** Comments: Possibly the most dramatic case of a [[Non-Indicative Name]] in the history of fanfic: the fic ''starts'' with Cloud mowing the lawn but progresses in such a way that the reader wishes it had stayed there. Cloud simply mowing the lawn would have been boring as hell, but it wouldn't have been ''Cloud Mows the Lawn'' - and this would have been a good thing. This isn't just included for the [[Squick]]; it's poorly written, and the set-up could hardly be more illogical and contrived. Who takes a dump while watching their lover mow the lawn and thereby discovers a scat fetish?
-*** The crazy thing is, it doesn't even promote scat well! It almost looks like a satire of scat porn...as if that needed to be satirized. Seriously, "Gassy poo"? And it's a twenty-year-old woman in the story saying it! [[Flat What|What.]]
+*** The crazy thing is, it doesn't even promote scat well! It almost looks like a satire of scat porn... as if that needed to be satirized. Seriously, "Gassy poo"? And it's a twenty-year-old woman in the story saying it! [[Flat What|What.]]
 *** It says something when even [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/22486-cloud-mows-the-lawn Bennet The Sage] says it's utterly disgusting.
 *** Aerith comes back to life in one chapter just to squat down and crap next to Tifa. It's an odd reason to rise from the dead.