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{{quote|''"Subject is abnormally stubborn. She never gives up. '''[[The Determinator|Ever]]'''. [[Spanner in the Works|DO NOT TEST.]]"''|'''Aperture File''', on Chell}}
[[File:Portal_Chell_6795.png|frame]]
{{quote| Modeled after Alésia Glidewell, voiced by Mary Kae Irvin}}
 
The silent main character of both games, Chell is an [[The Determinator|incredibly determined]] woman wearing an orange jumpsuit. Her exploits begin when GLaDOS awakens her from stasis to run a series of tests in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center for mysterious reasons.
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* [[Badass]]: Just [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX9Sc88qreg look at her moves in this trailer] and try to claim otherwise. Then again, [[Action Survivor|being put through 20 chambers of testing hell]] will make anyone into a chiseled badass.
* [[Determinator]]: ''Pathologically'' so. According to her personnel file (in the ''Lab Rat'' comic), she's way ahead of the bell curve for tenacity. As it turns out, when you're dealing with GLaDOS, cleverness and athleticism are ultimately less important than sheer stubborn refusal to give up.
{{quote| '''Proctor's note:''' Test subject is abnormally stubborn. She never gives up. '''Ever'''. Do NOT Test.}}
* [[Guile Hero]]
* [[Heroic Mime]]: GLaDOS even complains about her lack of response in the final chamber. {{smallcaps|"Are you even listening to me?"}} In the sequel, Wheatley seems to think that overexposure to the stasis process left her unable to talk; when he asks her to, she just jumps. GLaDOS even calls her a "mute lunatic."
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** In ''Portal 2'', these have been updated to full shoes called the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX9Sc88qreg Aperture Science Long Fall Boot], a "foot-based suit of armor" that's implied to have some kind of balance system forcing the wearer to land on her feet no matter what. This makes their ability to protect her ''slightly'' more justifiable.
* [[Shut UP, Hannibal]]: When {{spoiler|Wheatley tells you to do yourself a favor and commit suicide because once you reach his lair he'll definitely kill you}}, you can set up a portal network that throws a mine at his monitor.
{{quote| {{spoiler|'''Wheatley:'''}} I'll take that as a "no," then.}}
** She can smash monitors in almost all the test chambers, and can even get an achievement for doing it eleven times.
* [[Stock Footage]]: The reason the [[Heroic Mime]] character has a voice credit here is because her grunts of pain from the first game are recycled from the female Citizens in ''[[Half Life]]''.
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== Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System (GLaDOS) ==
[[File:P2_GLaDOS_8772.jpg|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by [[Ellen McLain]]}}
 
The artificial intelligence that seems to run Aperture Science. GLaDOS portrays herself as a helpful friend to Chell, but soon unveils a oddly sociopathic side to the testing protocols and a cruel side to her personality. As the game goes on, she becomes more and more sadistic, culminating in a violent confrontation as Chell attempts to escape the testing center. Chell apparently destroys GLaDOS, but at the end of the game she is revealed to have a backup memory and Chell is dragged back to Aperture Science. Years later, Chell and Wheatley unintentionally reboot her. Needless to say, she has a bone to pick with her murderer.
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* [[Ax Crazy]]: If slaughtering the majority of Aperture Science on ''bring-your-daughter-to-work-day'' within less than a picosecond of activation is any indication.
* [[Bad Boss]]: GLaDOS treats her custom robots the same way she treats everyone:
{{quote| {{smallcaps|"Don't disappoint me. Or I'll make you}} ''{{smallcaps| wish}}'' {{smallcaps| you could die."}}}}
* [[Bad Liar]]: GLaDOS is ''very'' surprised you successfully completed the test, and it shows.
* [[Back From the Dead]]: In ''Portal 2''.
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* [[Creepy Monotone]]: Or at least very passive-aggressive. And then when {{spoiler|you destroy the Morality Sphere}} and GLaDOS switches from robotic monotone to an emotive, almost ''seductive'' voice, the contrast is actually ''creepier'' than the robotic monotone that you've been listening to all game. By the second game she has achieved a happy medium between the two, sounding very close to a human with some slight robotic affectation.
* [[Curious as a Monkey]]: Her curiosity sphere.
{{quote| "Ooh, what's that? What's ''that''? What is that? Ooh, that thing has numbers on it! Hey, you're the lady from the test! Is that a gun? What's wrong with your legs? {{spoiler|Do you smell something burning? *SCREAM*}}"}}
* [[Cute Machines]]: Her spheres.
* [[Cyber Cyclops]]
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** In the sequel, {{spoiler|her taunting Wheatley after he becomes the central sphere enrages him so much that he puts her into a potato, barely able to function without using up the tiny amount of power it generates. She gets better.}}
* [[Humans Are Special]]: Sort of acknowledged in a cut line from ''Portal 2'':
{{quote| {{smallcaps|Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin -- something I failed to notice before; an intangible quality that makes their test results significant.}}}}
* [[Ignored Epiphany]]: From ''Portal 2's'' ending:
{{quote| '''GLaDOS:''' {{spoiler|{{smallcaps|You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.}}}}<br />
'''Announcer''': {{spoiler|{{smallcaps|CAROLINE DELETED.}}}}<br />
'''GLaDOS:''' {{spoiler|{{smallcaps|Goodbye, Caroline. You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest. Killing you? Is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me into a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what? You win. Just go.}} [laughs gently] {{smallcaps|It's been fun. Don't come back.}}}} }}
* [[In Love with Your Carnage]]: Gets especially excited at Cave's maniacal [[When Life Gives You Lemons]] rant, particularly when he talks of burning houses down.
{{quote| '''GLaDOS:''' {{spoiler|{{smallcaps|Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!}}}}}}
* [[Inspirationally Disadvantaged]]: When trying to boost the self-confidence of P-Body and Atlas, GLaDOS informs them that she was born with a crippling imperfection -- too much sympathy toward human suffering. She proudly informs them that she overcame that weakness.
* [[Killer Game Master]]: GLaDOS acts similar to this, throwing difficult scenarios at you, lying in order to confuse and torment you, and live-ammo courses in place of the original courses. When you go [[Off the Rails]], she tries to lasso you back in with lies before resorting to overkill methods.
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* [[Mean Character, Nice Actor]]: GLaDOS's VA also plays [[Team Fortress 2|The Announcer]] and [[Half Life|The Combine Overwatch]]. But listen to her commentary in the first game. She's so nice! ...She does have a bit of a [[Evil Laugh]], though.
** When confronted on this at a book signing, Ellen jokingly said otherwise.
{{quote| '''Ellen McLain:''' I'm only sweet ''sometimes.'' ''(Points to her husband)'' Ask him.<br />
'''John Patrick Lowre:''' She's only sweet in public. ''(Begins to take off his pants)'' Here, I'll show you the scars. }}
* {{spoiler|[[Mind Hive]]: ''Portal 2'' reveals that she experiences those personality cores as maddening, constantly babbling voices in her mind. After [[The Reveal]], she becomes aware of Caroline's persona within her as "the voice of a conscience [...] ''my'' voice." She finds that even more disturbing.}}
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* [[Mission Control Is Off Its Meds]]: Oh, so very much.
* [[Moral Myopia]]: It's okay when ''she'' tries to kill you, but you kill her, it's murder.
{{quote| "The difference between us is that I can feel pain."}}
* [[Not Quite Dead]]: As if the ending song didn't give it away, GLaDOS is revived in the sequel and ready to conduct several new tests on the player.
* [[Obviously Evil]]: In ''Portal 2''. {{spoiler|At least, it was like that at first.}}
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* [[Self Proclaimed Liar]]
* [[Shaped Like Itself]]: Her Logic/Intelligence/Knowledge Core, when describing cake garnishes:
{{quote| "Sediment-shaped sediment."}}
* [[Shout-Out]]:
** GLaDOS is more or less a female [[2001: A Space Odyssey|HAL 9000]] in the role of [[I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream|AM]].
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* {{spoiler|[[Unwilling Roboticisation]]: See [[Was Once a Man]] below.}}
* [[Villainous Breakdown]]: When you try to invoke [[This Is My Side]] <ref>Refers to a [[Dummied Out]] line that still remains in the source files.</ref> ''during the final boss fight'' and spend most of said fighting making petty insults, you're broken. It probably doesn't help that Chell spent the fight ''ripping her mind to pieces and setting them on fire.''
{{quote| '''GLaDOS''': {{smallcaps|Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup! STOP! Okay enough, I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're ''dead.'' You're still shuffling around a little but believe me you're ''dead.'' The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the ''permanent record.'' Your entire life has been a mathematical error. ''A mathematical error I'M ABOUT TO CORRECT.''}}}}
* [[Villainous Rescue]]: {{spoiler|1=At the end of ''Portal 2'', GLaDOS [[Take My Hand|pulls you back]] out of the Moon portal.}}
* [[Visual Pun]] / [[Stealth Pun]]:
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* [[What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic]]: Seriously, her character has provoked a lot of professional analysis and extrapolation about her meaning and symbolism. [[wikipedia:GLaDOS#Character analysis|See for yourself]].
* [[Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?|Why Did It Have To Be Birds?]]: GLaDOS {{spoiler|as a potato}} quickly develops a massive fear of birds.
{{quote| {{spoiler|BIRD! BIRD! KILL IT! IT'S EVIL!}}}}
** Makes a return {{spoiler|1=in the Peer Review DLC for co-op mode. The facility is being "controlled" by the same bird that antagonized Wheatly and GLaDOS previously.}}
* [[Worth It]]: Says this about {{spoiler|tricking Wheatly into trying to give a hint about a test chamber, giving him a painful shock.}}
* [[You Are Fat]]: A good amount of her insults towards Chell in the sequel are about her weight. She helpfully informs ATLAS and P-Body that humans are very sensitive about weight variances.
{{quote| '''GLaDOS''': {{smallcaps|Did you know humans frown on weight variances? If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.}}}}
* [[Your Mom]]: In the Peer Review DLC, GLaDOS attempts one of these to turn the robots into killing machines. However, she stops mid-sentence because she finds it too [[Even Evil Has Standards|disgusting]].
 
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== The Weighted Companion Cube ==
[[File:cit_weighted_companion_cube_LIVES.jpg|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by no one as it, in fact, cannot speak.}}
A large, (apparently) inanimate cube with hearts printed on each face. That's it. GLaDOS tries to get Chell to form an emotional attachment to it, then forces her to incinerate it.
 
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* [[Real Life Writes the Plot]]: Among other things, beta testers caused the creation of the [[Companion Cube]]. Carrying it was necessary to complete the level, but beta testers didn't realise this until late on, and were annoyed to have to go back and get it. Over-emphasizing its importance to you fixed that problem.
* [[Talking Appliance Sidekick]]: To Doug Rattmann, at least. {{spoiler|1=GLaDOS claims the cubes are actually sentient in the sequel, but she's ''probably'' not being serious.}}
{{quote| '''GLaDOS:''' The Enrichment Center reminds you that the [[Insistent Terminology|Weighted Companion Cube]] will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Not Quite Dead|Still Alive.]]}}
 
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* [[Crazy Survivalist]]: As literally as possible. He's clinically insane, so he lived.
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: When he's on his medication, he's a match for GLaDOS.
{{quote| '''[[G La DOS]]:''' Have you refilled your prescription lately?<br />
'''Doug:''' '''''Bite me.''''' }}
* [[Disability Superpower]]: When Rattmann is on his schizophrenia meds, his Companion Cube doesn't appear. Without its advice, he seems to be a lot less effective, {{spoiler|eventually causing him to get wounded by a turret.}}
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* [[Prophetic Name]]: A name so convenient, you'd expect him to be a ''[[Spider-Man]]'' villain.
* [[Room Full of Crazy]]: "I [[Heart Symbol|<3]] [[Companion Cube]]." His dens are full of poetry adapted to mention the cube, pictures of things in the centre (mostly the cube, of course) and other scrawlings.
{{quote| the cake is a lie<br />
the cake is a lie<br />
the cake is a lie<br />
the cake is a lie }}
** In ''Portal 2'', it would seem his obsession changed to being centered around Chell, with vivid detailed murals of her sprawled across walls.
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[[File:Portal_Turret_8264.png|frame]]
 
{{quote| Voiced by [[Ellen McLain]]}}
 
Small white machines placed throughout the facility to ''{{smallcaps|[[Dummied Out|provide you with product.]]}}''
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* [[Apologetic Attacker]]: {{smallcaps|I don't blame you. I don't hate you. No hard feelings.}}
* [[Cartridges in Flight]]: As pointed out and [[Lampshaded Trope|Lampshaded]] in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGPIQ72-2Vg this trailer].
{{quote| '''Cave Johnson:''' We fire the whole bullet! That's 65% more bullet per bullet! }}
* [[Cute Machines]]: Well, until they pepper you full of lead. That doesn't stop them from being so damn adorable.
* [[Enemy Mine]]: {{spoiler|A mild version in 2, after Wheatley takes over the facility, the turrets seem just as eager to shoot at him (or at least his monitors) as they are at Chell.}}
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[[File:Portal_Wheatley_1943.png|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by [[Stephen Merchant]]}}
 
An artificially intelligent "personality core" reassigned to ensure the wellbeing of the test subjects. Practically a polar opposite to GLaDOS, Wheatley appears friendly and [[Cloudcuckoolander|slightly scatterbrained]]. He helps Chell in her second run through Aperture Laboratories, but accidentally revives GLaDOS.
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* {{spoiler|1=[[From Nobody to Nightmare]]: He started out as an [[Idiot Ball|intelligence-inhibitor]]. Then he gets plugged into GLaDOS's mainframe, and becomes even more unstable and destructive than she ever was.}}
* [[Genius Ditz]]: Even GlaDOS is forced to admit it at one point {{spoiler|1=as he's bringing Chell and GLaDOS to the "surprise"}}.
{{quote| '''GLaDOS:''' {{smallcaps|For a little idiot {{spoiler|[[Idiot Ball|built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans]], that was a pretty well laid trap.}}}}}}
* {{spoiler|1=[[Heel Face Turn]]: After Wheatley is removed from GLaDOS's body, he feels genuinely sorry. Too bad he's stranded in space now.}}
* [[Idiot Ball]]: A more literal example than usual.
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* [[Motor Mouth]]: His utter inability to shut up is one of the highlights of this game. So much so that even if you just sit there for a few minutes, he'll ''still keep talking''.
* [[Oh Crap]]: When he learns of GLaDOS and Chell's history.
{{quote| '''GLaDOS''': {{smallcaps|Oh, it's ''you''.}}<br />
'''Wheatley''': You know her?<br />
'''GLaDOS''': {{smallcaps|It's been a long time. How have you been?}}<br />
'''Wheatley''': I think she likes you.<br />
'''GLaDOS''': {{smallcaps|I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you ''murdered me?''}}<br />
'''Wheatley''': You did '''WHAT!?'''<br />
'''GLaDOS''': {{smallcaps|*sigh* OK, look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret...}} }}
* [[Percussive Maintenance]]: Uses this approach to hacking a few times, such as when he attempts a "manual override" of a "docking gate" by slamming Chell's relaxation chamber into it.
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[[File:Portal_Cave_Johnson_2626.png|frame]]
 
{{quote| Voiced by J.K. Simmons}}
 
The founder of Aperture Science, originally a shower curtain manufacturer before he succumbed to mercury and/or moon rock poisoning. The company's more esoteric inventions came about following Johnson's descent into madness.
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* [[The Artifact]]: Was slated to be a combination of {{spoiler|1=Wheatley's role in going power mad and Caroline's role of having been forced into GLaDOS' body, and the main villain of Portal 2}}. As part of the rewrites that wrote out most of the personality cores and upgraded Wheatley's status, Cave was also rewritten to be simply a recorded voice.
* [[Badass Boast]]: The following speech has followed in the footsteps of "[[The Cake Is a Lie]]" to [[Memetic Mutation|Memetic Mutationdom]]:
{{quote| "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! ''Get mad!'' I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life ''rue'' the day it thought it could give ''Cave Johnson lemons''! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'm the man who's gonna ''burn'' your house down! ''WITH THE LEMONS!'' I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a ''combustible'' lemon that ''BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!''"}}
** "He says what we're all thinking!"
* [[Bad Boss]]: His attitude toward anyone except Caroline can be most charitably described as "insensitive".
{{quote| "The bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive!"}}
* [[Brain Uploading]]: Prior to his death, he had his scientists working on this. The jury's out on whether he managed to live that long, {{spoiler|but his assistant Caroline certainly got the treatment}}.
** Perpetual Testing features a Cave who did indeed upload himself into a computer. He takes *slightly* longer to go murderously insane than Glados, {{spoiler|although we never learn what exactly he did to Greg and the boys.}}
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* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: His understanding of science is a little off, and the Conversion Gel poisoning certainly didn't help.
* [[For Science!]]: His motivation.
{{quote| '''Johnson''': Good enough for science...but not ''Aperture'' Science!}}
* [[Hey, It's That Voice!]]: J. K. Simmons is also known for playing [[Spider-Man (film)|J. Jonah Jameson]], another [[Ensemble Darkhorse|inexplicably popular]], [[Large Ham|loud-mouthed]] [[Bad Boss|jerk of a boss]].
* [[Large Ham]]: See his "Lemons" speech for proof.
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* [[Undying Loyalty]]: His employees followed his every word, no matter how crazy. Anyone else acting like this would have been thrown in jail, possibly murdered.
** Even {{spoiler|Caroline}} seems to have some of this -- even after {{spoiler|1=he inflicted involuntary [[Brain Uploading]] on her, she still seems to hold some affection for him, if GLaDOS's response to his final prerecorded message is anything to go by}}.
{{quote| '''GLaDOS''': {{spoiler|(sadly) {{smallcaps|Goodbye, sir.}}}}}}
* [[Unreliable Narrator]]/[[Retcon]]: The "official" timeline of Aperture Science on the website when the first game was released doesn't quite jive with Cave's speeches.
** Among other things, his illness wasn't apparently due to mercury poisoning, but an allergic reaction to ground-up moonrock gel used to make stable portal-surfaces. He appears to have lived at least until early 1980's. The Portal Gun appears to have been one of Cave's ''first'' inventions at Aperture (since all of his Enrichment Spheres basically require its use, and a poster in the 50s era test chambers depicts a test subject with an enormous early version of the portal gun), rather than an idea he imparted while on his deathbed... although since he was, according to the 'old' timeline, convinced time was going backwards, it could be both.
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[[File:Portal_Atlas_and_P-body_7012.png|frame]]
 
{{quote| Both voiced by [[Dee Bradley Baker]]}}
 
Two robots -- one adapted from a personality sphere (Atlas), the other from a turret (P-body) -- created by GLaDOS to run tests in the Enrichment Center. Atlas is assumed to be of masculine personality, and P-body to be feminine. See them in action [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkATYz_tF-U here.]
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* [[Cute Machines]]: Again, like the turrets and Wheatley, they are cute and silly.
* [[Death Is Cheap]]: The two robots are uploaded into a new body whenever they die, as illustrated by the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkATYz_tF-U trailer.] P-body dismisses its destruction (and Atlas's role in it) with a wave of its hand. Then gets him back [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tvx5XBS3cwY later]. In fact, they are transported to other test chambers by being disassembled and later reassembled.
{{quote| '''GLaDOS:''' {{smallcaps|Don't disappoint me -- or I'll make you ''wish'' you could die.}}}}
** The ''Portal 2'' team say this is a major reason for using robots as the co-op mode characters. They wanted [[The Many Deaths of You|your (many) deaths]] at the hands of badly-planned maneuvers, incompetent or jerky co-players, and just larking about, to be funny and more consequence-free than showing humans being crushed, shot, or falling in acid and so forth.
* [[Electronic Speech Impediment]]: Although their general dialogue is mostly unintelligible, if you listen hard enough you can make out specific word-analogues, such as them saying "Hello" to each other in the intro cinematic.
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* [[Red Oni, Blue Oni|Orange Oni Blue Oni]]: [[Color Coded for Your Convenience]].
** Also illustrated during the introductory cutscene where the two are assembled for the first time. P-body is happy enough to let the robotic arms weld it together, while Atlas is shown anxiously trying to dodge them and escape from the construction area.
{{quote| '''P-body:''' ''[cheerfully waving to Atlas]'' {{smallcaps|Hello!}}<br />
'''Atlas:''' ''[nervous]'' {{smallcaps|...Hi?}} }}
** Depending on how you view their personalities in gender terms, it can also be an example of either [[Tomboy and Girly Girl]] or [[Sensitive Guy and Manly Man]]. The fact still stands that P-Body is far more feminine-looking than Atlas, while the trailer mentioned above puts their personalities in a far different manner.
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== Defective Turrets ==
[[File:Portal_Defective_Turret_5389.png|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by [[Nolan North]] and [[Ellen McLain]]}}
 
Aperture Science's turret assembly lines are less than 100% efficient. These little guys have a few minor faults. Like having been assembled sideways. Or having been loaded with ammo still on the box. Or being completely insane.
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* [[Body Horror]]: Well, look at it from their point of view. Some of them have no casing. Some of them were put together ''sideways''.
** They're fairly upbeat about it though.
{{quote| "Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones aren't I?"<br />
"Shootin' blanks, [[Radio|every time, all the time]]."<br />
"Well, I tried." }}
* [[Evil Laugh]]
* [[Foreshadowing]]: There's a slightly-less defective turret on the [[Kill It with Fire|Turret Redemption Line]] early on, whose main defect seems to be babbling a mix of cryptic Foreshadowing and complete nonsense.
{{quote| '''Oracle Turret''': Her name is Caroline. Get mad, don't make lemonade. The answer is beneath us. It won't be enough. [[Greek Mythology|Prometheus]] was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.}}
* [[Harmless Villain|Harmless Villains]]: They're so enthusiastic... if only they could actually attack.
{{quote| "Hey lady, do me a favor. Tell 'em I killed you."}}
* [[It Works Better with Bullets]]: As GlaDOS eventually learns.
* [[Oh Crap]]: They say this every now and again.
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== Space Sphere ==
[[File:Portal_Space_Core_565.png|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by [[Nolan North]]}}
 
He likes space. His favorite thing about space is space. He is the best at space.
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* [[Motor Mouth]]: Oh my god YES.
* [[No Indoor Voice]]
{{quote| '''''"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"'''''}}
* [[Cloudcuckoolander|Space Cuckoolander]]
* [[Space Is Noisy]]: Especially with this guy in it.
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== Rick the Adventure Sphere ==
[[File:Portal_Adventure_Core_3679.png|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by [[Nolan North]]}}
 
Stand back, lady. The Adventure Sphere is here to do the job.
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== Fact Sphere ==
[[File:Portal_Fact_Core_3855.png|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by [[Nolan North]]}}
 
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent and well-mannered of all of the 497,356 personality spheres in Aperture Science Industries. As a result, the Fact Sphere is well-respected by 99.99999% of the population and has many friends. The Fact Sphere would never lie to you.
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* [[Good News, Bad News]]: "Cellular phones will ''not'' give you cancer, only hepatitis."
* [[Jerkass]]:
{{quote| ''The Space Sphere will never go into space. You will never go into space.''<br />
''The likelihood of you dying violently within the next 5 minutes is 87.61%.''<br />
''You could stand to lose a few pounds.''<br />
''The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.''<br />
''You are about to get me killed. We will both die because of your negligence. This is a bad plan. You will fail.'' }}
* [[Little-Known Facts]]: Most of his repetoire of trivia includes things like "Humans can survive underwater, but not for very long," and "The square root of rope is string."
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== The Announcer ==
{{quote| Voiced by Joe Michaels}}
 
An (overly) cheerful AI Construct that regulates the Aperture Science facility and conducts testing in the abscence of GLaDOS. Unlike GLaDOS or the personality cores, he does not appear to be sentient, meaning his lines are pre-recorded and automatically stitched together, like a computerised phone operator.
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* [[False Reassurance]]
* [[For Inconvenience Press One]]:
{{quote| ''If you have questions or concerns regarding this policy, or require a Spanish version of this message, feel free to take a complimentary piece of stationary, and write us a letter''.}}
* [[For Science!]]: Utterly dedicated to making sure Science gets done, even in the face of [[After the End|"potentially apocalyptic circumstances"]].
* [[Mission Control]]: For the first part of the game.
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* [[Robo Speak]]
* [[Say Your Prayers]]
{{quote| ''If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.''}}
 
 
== Caroline ==
[[File:Portal_Caroline_3563.png|frame]]
{{quote| Voiced by [[Ellen McLain]]}}
 
Cave Johnson's personal assistant, described as the backbone of Aperture Science.
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* [[Hypercompetent Sidekick]]/[[Puss in Boots]]: Cave, at least, believed she was fully capable of doing his job, but she seemed to be perfectly happy as a secretary, which he attributed to extreme modesty.
* [[Married to the Job]]: According to Cave Johnson.
{{quote| '''Johnson''': "Sorry fellas, she's married... to science!"}}
* [[Morality Pet]]: Cave is generally pleasant to her and holds her in very high esteem, which helps balance the attitude of [[Comedic Sociopathy]] he tends to display otherwise. {{spoiler|In a well-intentioned yet horrifically misplaced show of his appreciation, he orders his scientists to upload her consciousness into an immortal A.I. against her will so that she can take over Aperture after his death}}.
* [[My Master, Right or Wrong]]: Since {{spoiler|1=GLaDOS experiences her persona as a sort of conscience}}, she presumably wasn't a complete sociopath, but she didn't seem to object to the constant stream of blatant ethical violations that characterized Cave's policies for running Aperture.
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* [[Real Life Writes the Plot]]: Originally Cave's assistant was going to be a put-upon [[Yes-Man]] named Greg. But they didn't have time to get a new voice actor, so it was decided Ellen McLain would do the voice. {{spoiler|1=Once that casting choice was made, the creators wondered why Caroline and GLaDOS had the same voice...}}
* [[Repeat After Me]]: [[Invoked]] with Cave and Caroline's homage to a ''[[Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In|Rowan and Martins Laugh In]]'' routine.
{{quote| '''Johnson:''' Say goodbye, Caroline!<br />
'''Caroline:''' Goodbye, Caroline! }}
* [[Shout-Out]]: It's unintentional -- she's actually named after the mother of one of the writers -- but the name Caroline means "[[Half Life|free man]]."
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