Console RPG Cliches 169 to 192: Difference between revisions

#'''[[It's Going Down|It's Not My Department,]] [[Tom Lehrer|Says Wernher Von Braun]]:''' ''All space stations, flying cities, floating continents and so forth will without exception either be blown up or [[Colony Drop|crash violently to earth]] before the end of the game. ''

#'''[[Pull the Thread|The Best-Laid Schemes:]]''' ''The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.'' (Compare [[Spanner in the Works]])

#'''Poetic Villain Principle ([[Final Fantasy VI|Kefka]] Rule):''' ''All villains will suddenly become [[Poetic Serial Killer|poets]], [[Nietzsche Wannabe|philosophers]], and/or [[Large Ham|dramatic actors]] when a) [[Establishing Character Moment|they first meet the hero]], b) [[Just Between You and Me|they are about to win or their evil plan is finally ready]], c) [[Wham! Episode|some major event in the game is about to begin]], d) [[Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner|right before the final battle]], and e) [[Facing the Bullets One-Liner|right before they die]], when they will frequently be feeling generous enough to reward you with [[Fauxlosophic Narration|some homespun wisdom about making the most of life while you have it]]. ''

#'''[[Cosmic Deadline|Compression of Time:]]''' ''As you approach the final confrontation with the villain, events will become increasingly awkward, contrived and disconnected from one another -- almost as if [[Writer on Board|some cosmic Author]] was running up against a deadline and had to [[Ass Pull|slap together the ending at the last minute]].''

#'''Adam Smith's Corollary:''' ''No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of [[The Very Definitely Final Dungeon|the villain's castle]], selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.''

#'''The Long Arm of the Plot:''' ''Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: [[Karmic Death|obviously dead,]] or [[Heel Face Turn|on your side.]] [[Black and White Morality|There is no in-between]].''

#'''The Moral Of The Story ([[Lunar|Ghaleon]] Rule):''' ''Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right [[White-Haired Pretty Boy|long-haired prettyboy]] and beating the crap out of him. ''

#'''[[Bonus Boss|Weapon Rule]]:''' ''There's always [[That One Boss|a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat]] than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, [[Awesome but Impractical|whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless]] because [[Bragging Rights Reward|by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more]].''

#'''[[Chick Magnet|Know Your Audience]] ([[Skies of Arcadia|Vyse]] Rule):''' ''Every woman in the game will find the male lead incredibly attractive.'' (See also [[Most Gamers Are Male]])

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