What an Idiot!/Film: Difference between revisions

* ''[[Pan's Labyrinth]]'' sees the normally intelligent and bookish Ofelia given the task to enter a magical room and retrieve a knife that's under the care of a monstrous, sleeping guardian. Said guardian will only ''remain'' asleep as long as Ofelia doesn't touch any part of the [[Schmuck Bait|sumptuous feast]] that's sitting on the table in front of him.<br />'''You'd expect''': That Ofelia would remember ''every'' single [[Fairy Tale]] she's ever read that featured a situation ''similar'' to hers that had gone sour; that she'd remember the admonitions of the ''very'' scary-looking faun who'd given her the task, the disturbing, sharp-nailed cenobite-like guardian who is sitting at the end of the table ''and'' the time limit that she's working under, AND that she would complete her task and get the hell out of there as quickly as her prepubescent legs could carry her.<br />'''Instead''': She stops to dawdle long enough to eat two grapes, thus awakening the ravenous guardian, which proceeds to chow down on the fairies and then try to eat ''her'' as well.

** Also in ''[[Pan's Labyrinth]]'', when Mercedes gives the key of the storage house to Captain Vidal, she confirms that it's the only key.<br />'''You'd expect:''' She would then proceed to tell the partisans she's aiding to bring some explosives or other means to break through the sturdy door.<br />'''Instead:''' She gives them a duplicate of the key, which they use in their very next raid to steal supplies. This immediately results in Vidal getting suspicious of the person originally in charge of the keys, i.e. Mercedes, and eventually leads to her getting captured, and inches away from horrible torture.

* In ''[[Passenger 57]]'' -- which, overall, makes perfect sense if it's intended to take place in a parallel universe where [[Idiot Plot|everyone is an utter moron]] -- one of the best moments comes when the Hero's Girlfriend is fighting one of the henchmen near the open luggage door of a moving airplane. She's about to fall out the door, clutching at the henchman's pant leg; he reaches desperately for his rifle, lying a few inches away. Finally he gets his fingers on it, gets it in his grip...<br />'''You'd Expect:''' he might consider, you know, ''shooting'' her.<br />'''Instead:''' he turns the gun around, and hits her with the butt. Guess who ends up falling out of the plane?

* ''[[Star Wars]]'' has so many it could take up a page.

** '''You'd Expect:''' That Obi-Wan would put a tracer on the robot that tried to murder Padme that way he and Anakin can get to a really fast floating car and then apprehend the assassin.<br />'''Instead:''' Obi-Wan jumps out the window and latches onto the droid all the way to the assassin. Not only could he have miscalculated his jump and die from the lose of air alone from a jump that high, but also this leaves Anakin to get a car and somehow find and catch up to Obi-Wan during the Coruscant equivalent to rush hour at night. And let's remember that Obi-Wan is struggling to hold on considering how his only means of survival is a goddamn floating sphere that's avoiding any random car that could not see it and hit straight into it. Because of Obi-Wan, he and Anakin couldn't just track the bounty hunter and sneak up on her and take her down, he alerted her because she say him randomly holding onto her droid a million miles up in the air causing her to run like hell and trying to escape into a sports bar. Sure Obi-Wan does manage to get her in the end but this entire chase scene ended in Jango Fett killing the only lead to the people that wanted to Padme. If Obi-Wan didn't jump out that window he would not only have a lead on Jango and the Separatist's base but he would know right away to tell the Jedi Council that Jango could have valuable information. As such they would capture Fett and interrogate him and get all the information he knows: Dooku having control over the clone and droid army's and that Palpatine was the SITH LORD!!! The simple act of Obi-Wan thinking for half a second and putting a tracer on an assassin's droid (a feat that he surprisingly had enough brain cells to do with Jango Fett's ship) could have not only save billions of lives and ending a galactic war but ALSO PREVENT THE EMPIRE FROM EVER RISING TO POWER AND ENSLAVING OR KILLING ANYONE WHO SO MUCH AS HIDE A COUPLE OF DROIDS!!!

** The Empire after the battle of Endor. Death Star 2.0 went kaboom, Palpatine is toast, and Vader is now a Force Ghost hanging out with his old pals Obi Wan and Yoda.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' Someone in the Imperial ranks with the brains and ambition would say to themselves, "Hey look, a power vacuum, this is my big break." and then seize this golden, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become the new Grand Poobah of the galaxy.<br />'''Instead:''' Nobody even bothers to step up to the plate. The Galactic Empire crumbles, The Rebels celebrate their victory by dancing with a bunch of midgets in teddy bear suits, and millions of people who were [[Star Wars]] fans up to this point take a header into the nearest wall.

** Admiral Motti boasts that the Death Star with its giant, planet-killing laser cannon is "the ultimate power in the universe." Vader admonishes the Admiral for such hubris by saying "the power to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force."<br />'''You'd Expect:''' Motti would smile and nod and avoid saying anything at this juncture that might piss off the Dark Lord of the Sith.<br />'''Instead:''' He kicks things off by insulting Vader and his religion right in front of everyone in that meeting room. That alone was highly uncalled for and would very likely get you fired in real life. As if he hasn't already committed an act of monumental douchebaggery at this point, he then insinuates that Vader is incompetent because he has yet to "conjure up the stolen data tapes or find the Rebels' hidden fortress." He's only saved from being telekinetically strangled to death when Grand Moff Tarkin orders Vader to stop.

** '''You'd Expect''' that aliens advanced enough to conquer interstellar travel would be somewhat intelligent, or at least technologically superior to humans.<br />'''Instead''', these aliens are unarmed, are outmatched by baseball bats and glasses of water, and are outsmarted by ''closet doors''.

** Finally, '''you'd expect''' that these hydrophobic creatures would finally be repelled in a scheme that makes use of the planet's prodigious water supply.<br />'''Instead''', news reports say that the invasion is repelled in the ''deserts'' of the Middle East.

** Police procedure as a whole suffered just so the Joker could be scary. Seriously, Leaving the Joker with a single guard, unhandcuffed and not locked up? One thing among many.<br />'''You'd Expect''': that a city police department up against a madman who uses dynamite would deploy a bomb unit at ''some'' point in time. Hell, even bringing one in from another city would be much cheaper than REBUILDING AN ENTIRE HOSPITAL.<br />'''Instead''': [[Holding Out for a Hero|They wholly depend on a costumed vigilante who isn't much saner than his archenemy.]]

* In the ''Transformers Generation 1'' movie, Megatron is stalling Optimus so he can grab a gun to shoot him while Optimus is busy [[Evil Gloating|talking instead of executing him]]. Hot Rod sees this and tries to stop Megatron.<br />'''You'd Expect''': Hot Rod shoots the gun, shoots Megatron in the back, or yells at Optimus "He's going for a gun!"<br />'''Instead''': He tries to tackle pound-for-pound one of the strongest and most dangerous Decepticons in the series, who easily overcomes him, thereby giving Megatron an Autobot shield from which be can blast Optimus with ease without fear of retaliation. Optimus dies as a result.

** The baddies want Picard. The good guys beam him over, and the transporters promptly fail. They do, however, have an prototype emergency transporter.<br />'''You'd expect:''' The good guys to beam over a bomb, use the independent transporters in the shuttles, have Data/a security team with a tech on it take a shuttle and hack their way in, or replicate the emergency transporter.<br />'''Instead:''' Data ''jumps'' for the enemy ship, finds Picard, slaps the transporter on him, then dies in the most pointless [[Heroic Sacrifice]] ever.

* ''[[A Clockwork Orange (film)|A Clockwork Orange]]'': Alex is welcomed into the house of the writer whom he left as a cripple and whose wife he raped and possibly caused her death. The writer doesn't recognize him due to he and his friends using masks by the time of the assault. Additionally, he is in a state in which he can't fight back to any kind of violence.<br />'''You'd expect''': Alex would try to make sure the writer absolutely wouldn't recognize him.<br />'''Instead''': While on a bath, Alex sings the exact same song he sang while raping the writer's wife, loudly enough for him to listen from the other side of the door.

* ''[[Batman and Robin (film)|Batman and Robin]]'': Robin has just survived Poison Ivy's Kiss of Death by wearing wax lips.<br />'''You'd expect''' he'd keep them on, in case she tried it again.<br />'''Instead''' he pulls them off, remarking that wax lips are "immune to [her] charms".<br />'''You'd expect''' Ivy would take advantage of Robin removing his only protection against her lips and give him another snog, this one terminal.<br />'''Instead''' she just shoves him into a pond.

'''In that case''' all she'd have to do is spit in his mouth, since presumably the venom is present in her saliva.

** In the original ''Superman'', Lex Luthor has set into motion his plan to sink California into the sea using a nuclear missile aimed at the San Andreas Fault, and has incapacitated Superman both with Kryptonite and by sending a second nuclear bomb in the opposite direction. When he reveals that the second target is Hackensack, New Jersey, his girlfriend Ms. Teschmacher protests that her mother lives there.<br />'''You'd expect''' he would lead her out of the room, handcuff her to something and then maybe go back and watch Superman die.<br />'''Instead''' he shrugs her off, and leaves them both alone and unmonitored. Five minutes later, she's saved Superman from the Kryptonite and he's escaped through the ceiling, on his way to foiling the plan.

* ''[[Full Metal Jacket]]'': Although R. Lee Ermey defined the [[Drill Sergeant Nasty]] trope with his character Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, the climax at the end of the first half of the film proves that he was a failure in the end. Take "Pvt. Pyle"'s suicide, where Joker finds him in the bathroom, holding his rifle, and has it fully loaded. His loud shrieking of the Marine Corps Prayer garners the attention of GySgt. Hartman.<br />'''You'd expect''' that, upon discovering that the mentally shattered Pyle is holding a fully loaded rifle, he would get a hold of some military police to come and defuse the situation.<br />'''Instead''' Hartman taunts and speaks down to him ''more'', even when it's clear that the guy needs ''serious'' help. But after asking him, [[Famous Last Words|"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't mommy and daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?!"]], Pyle guns down Hartman.

* In ''[[Taken (film)|Taken]],'' Bryan Mills courteously warns his daughter's captors that he has [[One-Man Army|"a particular set of skills that will make their lives very miserable"]] and that he will [[Person of Mass Destruction|kill all of them]] if they do not let her go.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' That if you want to get into human trafficking in Europe, you'd get your supply from Eastern Europe, East Asia, Africa, and all those other places full of vunerable women without money. Hell, tell them that you'll take them to a 1st world country to work as a maid or something, and they'll climb into the truck and pay you for it. Their governments have little resources to defend them, their families are poor and without any international clout, and because they're in the country illegally, a lot of law enforcement will look the other way.<br />'''Instead:''' They kidnap young women from the airport. Yes, the ideal victim is a girl with a family rich enough to send her on vacations, from a countries with enough diplomatic clout to demand explanations. Better yet, let's do it at a post 9/11 airport where our actions will be taped by security cameras and since they just got past customs, all the women have been officially documented as having just entered the country. Yup, that'll end well.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' They'd consider the possibility that Mills is not bluffing, let the girl and her friend go, apologize for the inconvenience, and get the hell out of there while [[Papa Wolf]] is still in a charitable mood.<br />'''Instead:''' "Good Luck..." [[Hilarity Ensues]].

** Later in the same film, the girls, including the protagonist's daughter, are being auctioned off as sex slaves. One of the buyers finds <s>Liam</s> Bryan holding him at gunpoint and demanding he buy a girl who, yes, turns out to be his daughter. Bryan is caught, and [[Tap on the Head|clonked on the head]], [[Unwilling Suspension|hung him from a pipe]], and asks what the hell he's doing and why he just cost him over half a million dollars. <s>Liam</s> ''Bryan'' offers to pay the guy back.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' A number of options present themselves. He could scoff at the suggestion, sure that this anonymous attacker can't refund him over half a million dollars, whereupon said anonymous attacker would produce some proof that yes, he could (and [[Crazy Prepared|you know he would]]). He could say "Oh, well in that case I guess I can forget this ever happened," possibly demand a little extra for his silence (<s>Liam</s> '''Bryan''' didn't specify what he was paying for, or how much). Or, if he insists on being a [[Card-Carrying Villain]], he could [[Just Shoot Him|shoot him in the head]] with his own gun.<br />'''Instead:''' He goes on about how this is "a unique business, with a unique clientele", which completely fails to explain why he thinks it's a good plan to walk away, leaving him in the hands of his security guys, who <s>Liam</s> '''''BRYAN!!''''' has already proven himself quite capable of overcoming. He breaks out, of course.

* In ''[[Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom]]'', Indy is cornered on a rope bridge, with Thuggees guarding both ends of it. He threatens to drop the [[MacGuffin|Sankhara Stones]] from the bridge into the crocodile-infested waters below, but the Thuggee leader, Mola Ram just laughs and tells him that the Thuggees would eventually find them again, and would have no reason to keep Indy or his friends alive if he threw the stones away.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' The Thuggees to wait until Indy passes out from either thirst or hunger (granted, this might not have actually worked since Blumburtt and his troops were on the way, but Mola Ram wouldn't have known that). Alternatively, since Mola Ram is holding Willie and Short Round hostage, he could threaten to kill them unless Indy hands the stones over, and actually carry out the threat on one of them if Indy accuses him of bluffing.<br />'''Instead:''' Mola Ram and most of the Thuggees walk out onto the bridge themselves, making it easy for Indy to take them out by cutting down the bridge's supports.

* The backstory to ''[[Wishmaster]]'' reveals that if someone makes three wishes of a Djinn, it will destroy the barriers between our world and the Djinn's world and allow their kind to overrun the Earth. One such creature grants two wishes to an ancient sultan, the second of which inflicts all kinds of horrible suffering on his subjects. Just as the sultan is about to make a third wish to undo his previous one, the court sorcerer shows up and tells the sultan what will happen if he makes his third wish.<br />'''You'd Expect''' The Djinn to dismiss the sorcerer's accusations as nonsense, and to reassure the sultan into making his third wish.<br />'''Instead:''' He ''admits'' everything the sorcerer is accusing him of, and even goes so far to show the other Djinn that are attempting to break through the now-weakened barriers between the worlds. Naturally the sultan is reluctant to make a wish under these circumstances, and it gives the sorcerer time to imprison the main Djinn inside a jewel.

* ''[[Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'': The RDA corporation wishes to mine valuable mineral called [[Unobtanium]] on the moon Pandora. In order to get the Na'vi natives to move away and allow them to mine, they set up a program for creating Avatars, which they hope will allow them to infiltrate the Na'vi, earn their trust, and thereby make it easier to get them to move. The protagonist, Jake, ends up infiltrating the Na'vi, earns their trust and becomes one of them within three months, and even ''sleeps with the chief's daughter''. In other words, he's making an incredible amount of progress for what little time he spent.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' The RDA corporation, which is run by stockholders, and which has already poured millions of dollars into the Avatar program, to hold off the bulldozers for a second and ''allow Jake more time to work his magic''. As far as they know, he's managed to earn the chief (and the chief's wife), as well as the chief's daughter's trust. After all, it would be a heck of a lot more expensive to go using big scale bombs and artillery on the forest than to wait a bit longer and possibly have a spy get the village people to move. Especially considering that they already ''invested money'' into the Avatar program.<br />'''Instead:''' They decide (prematurely), and without ''even telling their spy'', that they won't wait any longer, and start bulldozing the forest. Extra idiot points in that they start bulldozing the part of the forest where their spy's ''Avatar body'' (which undoubtedly cost them a lot of money) was... and would've ran over it if his alien girlfriend didn't pull him away, buying him enough time to wake up in the Avatar. His reaction is, predictably, to jump onto the bulldozer and pound on their security camera to get them to stop. Their reaction? Tell him that he "went too far" and "betrayed their trust" by doing that, and [[You Have Failed Me|promptly lock him up]]. Which causes him to decide to side with the Na'Vi and lead a rebellion.

** Also, at the beginning of the film, the human Sam Witwicky is selling the [[Plot Coupon]] on [[EBay]].<br />'''You'd Expect:''' The Decepticons hack themselves a Paypal account and bid on the item.<br />'''Instead:''' They send two Decepticons to interrogate Sam, running afoul of the Autobot sent to protect him.

* ''[[Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen]]'': Alice, {{spoiler|a Decepticon Pretender masquerading as a girl}}, is caught in a... tender embrace with Sam by Mikaela. Disgusted, Mikaela storms out of the room.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' Alice waits a while longer before continuing with her true purpose so that Mikaela will not be able to make it back in time if the latter smells a rat. If Sam resists, quickly and efficiently pin him down while raising minimal fuss.<br />'''Instead:''' When Sam does resist, Alice spends some time throwing Sam around. She also let Sam get off the bed at all. The noise alerts Mikaela, who is able to get back in time to help him.

* ''[[Space Mutiny]]'': When all the main engineering crew of the ''Southern Sun'' announce their intention to join in the titular mutiny in a meeting amongst themselves, one of the engineers, Parsons clearly isn't on-board with the whole plan. The other engineers mock Parsons, but don't actually act overly hostile towards him.<br />'''You'd Expect''': Parsons to sit out the meeting, maybe indicate that he would be amenable to joining in the mutiny, then go and alert the ship's commanders.<br />'''Instead''': He openly accuses the other engineers of mutiny and treason, and announces his intention to report them... and is then shocked when they turn on him and kill him horribly.

** Later on, one of the bridge crew, Lamont receives evidence that the mutineers were responsible for the destruction of a shuttlecraft. The ringleader, Kalgan, decides that she must be disposed of.<br />'''You'd Expect''': That in order to take advantage of the fact that the identity of the mutineers is still largely unknown, Kalgan would send some of his loyalists to "escort" Lamont from the ship's disco (don't ask), then dispose of her in a part of the ship he controls.<br />'''Instead''': He sends some of his loyalists, and they escort her to... right outside the disco, where Kalgan shoots her dead in person. Naturally this is heard by several people in the disco, including [[The Hero]], Dave Ryder, who promptly tries to chase Kalgan down. While Ryder fails to actually capture Kalgan, his stupidity ends up giving the good guys direct evidence that the mutiny exists, and that Kalgan is one of the ringleaders.

*** Also in the third movie, Magneto wants to kill the mutant whose DNA is being used to create the anti-mutant serum, who is located on Alcatraz Island. Magneto, in a stupendous display of power, ''lifts the freaking Golden Gate Bridge'' to get to Alcatrazz.<br />'''You'd Think:''' that since Magneto wants to kill this particular mutant, and doesn't really care about civilian casualties incurred in the process, that while he was lifting an object hundreds of feet in the air that weighs over 1000 tons, he'd just drop it on their heads or turn it into a blizzard of shrapnel to tear every living being on the island into shreds.<br />'''Instead:''' he uses it to form a bridge, marches across it and digs in for a long, difficult, and unsuccessful siege of the place.

** In ''[[X-Men (film)|X-Men First Class]]'', after successfully preventing the Cuban Missile Crisis from escalating into a full-out nuclear war due to the meddling of a psychotic mutant, mutants are now known to both the Russian and U.S. governments as a powerful force capable of causing hurricanes, flying, blasting people, and lifting an entire submarine out of the ocean!<br />'''You'd Think:''' both sides would see the potential for using these people in combat, especially given that they prevented a full-on nuclear war since the CIA was well-aware of the role that the mutants played in the incident. Or at the very least, acknowledging that these are the ''last'' people you'd want to provoke and make angry!<br />'''Instead:''' both sides just see the potential threat presented by these powerful individuals and try to blow them up with missiles. After just seeing one of the mutants lift a submarine with his power!

* ''[[Asterix|Asterix and Obelix versus Cesar]]'': Having usurped power and obtained a whole cauldron of strength enhancing potion, [[The Starscream]] leads an army of Romans against the reputed rebellious Gaul village.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' that he use the fricking potion! Maybe give some to his legioneers, maybe drink it himself, but use it. After all, obtaining it was a major plot point.<br />'''Instead:''' He just sits there in his command post, clutching the cauldron and ignoring his soldiers' requests for a gulp. Naturally the Romans manage against the Gauls just as well as they usually do, id est miserably, and the Gauls hold them back long enough for the main heroes to find the Phlebotinum and trash the Romans. Oh, and the cauldron of potion ends up spilled on the ground. What a waste.

* ''[[Ip Man]]'': Ip has just destroyed ten Japanese black belts and is rewarded with many bags of rice.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' that he would take the rice and use it to feed his family and people, having made his point and avenged {{spoiler|Master Liu's}} death.<br />'''Instead:''' He just rejects the rice.

* In ''[[Highlander II the Quickening]]'', [[Big Bad|General Katana of Zeist]] sends his two goons to kill Connor MacLeod on planet earth. However, [[Dumbass Has a Point]] by saying that MacLeod was banished on earth and from what we see can die of old age anytime.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' General Katana to agree with him and let MacLeod die of old age.<br />'''Instead''' Katana slaps the guy and send him to earth and, of couse, they die returning MacLeod to the immortal phase, thus remaking the gathering, thus obliging Katana to go himself and, of course getting himself killed.

* In ''[[Resident Evil Afterlife]]'', The T-Virus-infected Albert Wesker needs to eat human flesh. He thinks eating Alice's flesh will give him control of the virus. He has all the resources of Umbrella and two of Alice's former allies-turned-mind-controlled-puppets at his disposal.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' He'd use those resources to find Alice, specifically Claire, who knew where Alice was headed, and set a trap for her there.<br />'''Instead''' he gambles on Alice following the radio transmissions to Arcadia. Then when she arrives at Arcadia<br />'''You'd Expect:''' he'd unleash a horde of mind-controlled people to hold her down, or pull out a taser or do something to incapacitate her while he has the element of surprise.<br />'''Instead''' he has a single mook train a gun on her, explains his plan and expects to succeed by beating her in combat.

* ''[[The Mummy Trilogy|The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor]]'' -- in the film's prologue, the sorcererss Zi Yuan casts what she claims is an immortality spell on the titular Emperor, but is in fact a curse that will transform him and all his followers into terracotta statues. Before this becomes obvious, the Emperor tells Zi that she will marry him, and threatens to have her lover, Ming Guo, torn apart by wild horses unless she agrees to be his bride. However, Ming shouts out that he's doomed no matter what she does, so there's no point agreeing to marry the Emperor.<br />'''You'd Expect:''' Zi to try and keep the Emperor talking until the curse kicks in and immobilizes him and his followers, then she can free Ming from the horses.<br />'''Instead:''' She instantly refuses, promptly resulting in Ming's grisly death. Moreover, she is severely wounded and nearly killed herself by the Emperor, before the curse ''finally'' takes hold and transforms him and his followers into statues, allowing her to escape.

* ''[[Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan|Star Trek II the Wrath of Khan]]'': The ''Enterprise'' first encounters ''Reliant'' after sketchy reports that should suggest that something is seriously wrong with ''Reliant's'' handling of the Genesis situation. After hailing her numerous times with no response, ''Enterprise'' receives an excuse that a critical communications component is faulty, an assertion that does not survive a cursory scan of the ship by Spock. So now, whoever's on that ship is both acting suspicious ''and'' out-and-out lying.<br />'''You'd Expect''': Kirk, the combat veteran, who's probably trained extensively for these kinds of situations, heeds the sage advice of Saavik, the fresh-out-of-Academy cadet, and raises the shields until the situation can be clarified.<br />'''Instead''': He, and the allegedly intelligent Mr. Spock, shut Saavik up and blithely keep going on towards ''Reliant'' with shields down and weapons disarmed. Khan and his crew knock the stuffing out of ''Enterprise.''<br />