Parental Favoritism: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
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{{quote|''"My father says she was [[Born Lucky]]. He says I was lucky to be born."''|'''Zuko''' (about his sister Azula), ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]''}}
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It's tough being a kid in Fiction Land. Bad enough when you're an only child, but if you're among a pack of siblings, this particular trope is nearly guaranteed to raise its head at some point in order to make life even more difficult.
Parental Favoritism is just what it sounds
It may show itself in a variety of ways. If there is an argument or fight, the parent(s) will always take the side of one particular sibling, and the other(s) will be the ones being scolded/punished. The parents may brag about one child in particular and be admonishing or dismissive of the others for their faults and regardless of the achievements of the brothers and sisters. A regular line that may be entailed with this is a variant of, "Honestly, (insert name), why can't ya be more like (insert favourite's name)?" There may always be one particular kid who gets out of doing their chores, even if the other kids get pulled up for forgetting to tidy their room.
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** Occasionally, the parent(s) will favor a child who shares their own place in the birth order over the other children, due to their own childhood experiences with their siblings. For example, a parent who was bullied by their older siblings as a child being more likely to take the side of the younger child, regardless of the older sibling's guilt or innocence.
* Gender
** Preference by gender often relies on the boys:girls ratio within the family. If there are several of one sex and only one of the other, the sibling with a different gender from the others will probably be "the favorite." This can backfire
** If there is one son and several daughters, the son will probably acquire the title of "heir to the family." His parents may believe him to be "more important" than his sisters, and they might be expected to obey him/take care of him.
** If there is one daughter and several sons, she will probably be the "baby" of the family regardless of birth order (possible exception if she is the oldest sibling, in which case she'll be de facto babysitter). Strangely, brothers are seldom shown as resenting their
* Personality
** Sometimes, one child is funnier, more gregarious, or more talented than the others, making them "the favorite" almost automatically. In some cases, this sibling will be sweetness and light to everyone else, but the [[Devil in Plain Sight]] to their brothers and sisters. Although, in other cases, the other child could have a negative personality so the fault could partly fall on them. Alternatively, a [[Dead Little Sister]] situation might occur with the parents...or parent, since this applies especially if a spouse has died. In this case, one child will be favoured because of their resemblance to a particular person. Particularly narcissistic parents however, tend to favour the child that most looks/acts like him/herself.
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** This is also commonly inverted - the [[Cheerful Child|adopted child will be well behaved]], the [[Spoiled Brat|biological child will be spoiled]] and jealous, and when the inheritance or the call to adventure is passed down to the adopted child instead of the "true" inheritor, expect the biological child to start a [[Cain and Abel]] situation rapidly.
Any of these criteria can backfire. For example, one child might be the favorite because they look and act just like their [[Too Good for This Sinful Earth|saintly, deceased mother.]] Another might be just the opposite -- [[The Unfavourite]]
Occasionally, parents have a child that naturally requires more care and attention than the others, because they're very young, disabled or psychologically damaged. This will still seem unfair to the other kids who get less of their parents' time, but it's necessity rather than favoritism...usually. This is a favourite plot for children's books and television, where the lead character is jealous of a new baby sister or brother only to be reassured that "we love you just as much." On the other hand, if the favorite is [[Too Good for This Sinful Earth]], the parents may never learn to appreciate their living children.
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Of course, it is common that the parents are not aware of their favoritism and may be appalled at themselves upon realizing it. Very few parents would actually pursue favoritism with the knowledge of the other children's hurt feelings.
In fact, the obligatory "talk with the parents" is normally part of a
This is all too often [[Truth in Television]].
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== Film - Live Action ==
* Zach from the Quebecois film ''C.R.A.Z.Y'' is the fourth son of five and manages to be a case of both
* In ''Dead Poets' Society'', Todd receives a birthday present from his parents - a replica of what they sent him the previous year. It comes out that his brother's birthdays are a big deal, but his own are clearly an afterthought. He throws it away angrily; one of his friends then jokingly tells him to cheer up; he'll get another one next year.
* [[Subverted Trope|Subverted]] in ''[[Repo! The Genetic Opera]]''. Rotti Largo is utterly disappointed with all three of his grown-up children, and starts looking among the children of his employees for a worthy heir.
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== Literature ==
* [[The Bible|Biblical]] example: The story of Joseph and his brothers. Jacob favored Joseph because of his resemblance to Jacob's favourite wife (he had two, as well as both of their maids, all of whom he'd had children by), who had died. The multi-coloured coat (actually a translation
** Actually, it's claimed that Joseph looked just like Jacob. And the coat is originally described as a striped coat, no more. The idea that Joseph looked like Rachel probably came from the musical.
** Of course, Jacob had been his mother's favourite, and his rivalry with with his twin brother Esau (his father Isaac's favourite) was fuelled by this, and led to his fleeing his homeland...
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* Murphy in Jim Butcher's ''[[The Dresden Files]]''. In ''Blood Rites'', she asks that Harry time an assault on a vampire lair so that she can skip her family reunion. The timing is off, however; she attends part of the reunion, and learns that her younger sister - who their mother explicitly says is allowed more freedom as the youngest than Murphy had as a youngster - is marrying Murphy's ex-husband. The sister got involved with the ex when he failed to arrest her for underage drinking when she was spending an unsupervised vacation in [[The Big Easy|New Orleans]]. Their mother is A-OK with this, and criticizes Murphy for her reaction.
** Of course, only part of this is because Murphy's sister is the favorite sister. The other part is that Mrs. Murphy absolutely ''loved'' her son-in-law. She's thrilled that she's getting him back in the family again.
* Mercilessly deconstructed in ''Leaving Poppy'' by Kate Cann. The heroine, Amber, has a younger sister that is so favored by her mother it reaches ridiculous levels. At the start of the story, the heroine is due to go on holiday to celebrate her exam success. But
* In [[C. J. Cherryh]]'s ''Regenesis'', part of the backstory of Giraud and Denys Nye is that their mother wanted to raise a genius, and pressured Giraud, the eldest, to perform as a child; although he was bright, he wasn't up to that level, and was [[The Unfavorite]]. Denys, on the other hand, ''was'' a genius and was coddled. Denys grew up introverted and antisocial, depending utterly on Giraud to handle interaction with other people.
* Paula Danziger is another teen writer who was fond of this, although in ''Can You Sue Your Parents For Malpractice?'' she turns the trope on its
* A major part of the plot of ''[[Jacob Have I Loved]]'': Sarah Louise's younger twin, Caroline, received all the attention as a baby because she was always weak and [[Ill Girl|ill]]. She grew up beautiful, popular, talented at singing and the piano, sweet, and perfect, while Sarah Louise became a hard-working tomboy who "never gave her parents a moment's worry." Sarah Louise's mission in the novel is to find a life outside her sister's shadow.
* In [[Diana Wynne Jones]]' ''Archer's Goon'', the youngest of the seven magical siblings is the most powerful and favored of the group. His elder brothers and sisters are bound magically to protect him.
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** Breezepelt feels like this at first, bcause his dad never pays attention to him (but not knowing he {{spoiler|had more than one kit}}). So he starts working with the Dark Forest not only to destroy the Clans, but also to get revenge on Crowfeather.
* In [[Dorothy L. Sayers]]' [[Lord Peter Wimsey]] novel ''Busman's Honeymoon'', the Dowager Duchess explicitly tells Harriet that Peter is her favourite child.
* In [[J. R. R. Tolkien|JRR Tolkien]]'s ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]'', Boromir (the elder son) is heavily preferred to Faramir by their father, Denethor. It's especially emphasized in [[The Movie
* In ''[[The Silmarillion]]'', Fëanor and Fingolfin, who are half-brothers, fight for the love of their father Finwë, who shows no signs of favouritism. Then the eldest son, Fëanor, publicly threatens to [[Cain and Abel|kill Fingolfin]], setting the point of his sword to his brother's chest. He is exiled... and his father Finwë goes with him. Poor Fingolfin. (Though arguably this might have been necessary to keep the slightly unhinged Fëanor from going batshit crazy... which he did anyway, mind, but only later.) Even so, Finwë declares that as long as his son is exiled, "I hold myself unkinged" and refuses to see or talk to his people, even during the holiest festivals.
* Jacqueline Wilson has used this a few times:
** ''The Diamond Girls'' involves a mother who is desperate for her fifth child to be a boy, after having four daughters. She obsesses over it to the point of planning her new life around her
** ''Girls In Love'' has one character, Nadine, with a younger sister who is the favourite of their superficial and snobbish mother. Natasha is a [[Devil in Plain Sight]], but she looks cute, and later starts a career as a child model, so of course she's "Mummy's favourite."
* Goes both ways in the ''[[Conqueror]]'' books. Temuge is the youngest of five brothers, and his mother dotes on him as a result. This leads to him becoming a rather soft and chubby child who never learns to use a bow or sword effectively, making him the ''least'' favourite in his father's eyes.
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** Fifty years later, in ''[[Survivors Quest]]'', that person Lorana talked to ''finally'' stops neglecting the promise and arranges for Dean Jinzler to go to the ruins of Outbound Flight, where his sister died. Time has muddled up his anger, and although he still believes that she was unduly favored, he wants to put things to rest and say his goodbyes. During the events of the novel he realizes, in a [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming]], that he'd been lying to himself for years. Their parents ''had'' loved the absent Lorana, but they had loved the children they had just as much. All those years when Dean had been pushing himself to excel in his father's fields, they ''had'' been proud. He just hadn't seen it.
{{quote|"I'm an electronics technician. Like my father before me."}}
* Manny Heffley, the baby of the Heffley family from [[Diary of a Wimpy Kid]]. (Manny is three years old, Greg is around eleven to thirteen, while Rodrick is implied to be in between fifteen to seventeen.) Manny is allowed to do all sorts of stuff like bring toys to church, call his brothers names, throw fits to get his way, and crawl out of bed at night and stay up. Greg states that when he was Manny's age, he had none of that. The
** The only onscreen grandfather meanwhile actually subverts this. It's also why he is Gregory's favourite grandparent, for obvious reasons...
{{quote|"Gregory's my favorite!"}}
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== Live Action TV ==
* Subverted in many ways on ''[[Frasier]]''
** The female 'baby' of the family is also subverted slightly in Daphne's relationship with her
* Played with in ''[[Supernatural]]''. Throughout Season One, Sam thinks that John hates him (when he left for college, he told him to never come back) while Dean is the one who obsessively follows his Dad's orders and can't seem to comprehend not following an order. But it's slowly revealed that Sam is the one who John cares the most about (although this could just be through the eyes of Dean) while Dean is the one who had to grow up too fast and was treated, well, more like a soldier than a son. Although John ''did'' try to make it up by doing a deal to save Dean's life, Dean's Daddy Issues (the fact that he still thinks he wasn't good enough for him and that he still thinks he's the one who should have died) continue to this very day.
** And the Yellow-Eyed Demon knows this. He even taunts Dean by saying that John arguing with Sam was 'more concern than he's ever shown you.'
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* In ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'', Eugene Greenhilt favored his daughter Julia over his son Roy, because Julia became a wizard like him, while Roy became a fighter. ("I can tell because you never use the phrase, "crashing depression" when talking about her.")
** In a later example, Elan's father Tarquin favours Elan over his other son [[Evil Twin|Nale]], even though Elan is [[Character Alignment|the opposite alignment of both himself and Nale]]. Not only is Elan a lot closer to Tarquin in mentality, but Tarquin doesn't find Nale's [[It's All About Me|egomania]], arrogance and short-sightedness ([[The Starscream|which led to Nale trying to kill him just to satisfy his own ego]]) to be very conductive to a healthy father-son relationship. {{spoiler|Elan may want to kill him too, but at least he's got a good ''reason'' for it instead of "I want to be in charge".}}
* An unusual case in ''[[Misfile]]'', Ash Upton manages to be on both sides of the
** Also a subversion, as the change was due completely to Ash's actions. {{spoiler|In Ash's past (s)he wrote a letter to his/her mom. As a boy, masculine pride made him throw it away. As a girl, the letter was sent.}}
* A humorous variant is found in ''[[Something Positive]]''. Fred MacIntire has two (living) biological children, Davan and Dahlia, and an adopted daughter, Monette. His fourth "child" is Davan's [[Platonic Life Partners|friend PeeJee]], who lives with them; one strip has him admitting that ''she's'' his favorite. It's [[Played for Laughs]], of course, as it's made remarkably clear through all the [[Deadpan Snarker]] dialogue that Fred's actually a damn good father.
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== Real Life ==
* The memoirs ''Chinese Cinderella'' and ''Falling Leaves'' by Adeline Yen Mah tell the story of how she was victimized at the bottom of the pile in her family. She and her other siblings are treated far worse than her step-siblings, her especially for being the youngest and the one to whom their mother died giving birth. The family does some extremely cruel things to her, from giving her pet duckling to an untrained dog to maul, to sending her to a boarding school in a war-torn city which has been evacuated, in the hope that she will die there.
* Both [[Oda Nobunaga]] and [[Date Masumune]] had to fought a civil war within their domains during their early career that are the result of this. In either case, while the (late) fathers supported them, their mothers disliked them for a
* Laws throughout history have often geared parents from making the first born son the "favorite." Inheritance went to him first, and often the oldest boy had the second position of power in the house. Having only a daughter was (and some places, still is) a horrible dishonor because nobody can carry on you family name.
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