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To Absent Friends: Difference between revisions

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''I wish I could pick 'em the way you can!''|'''Grantland Rice'''}}
 
Two or more characters gather to grieve for a dead comrade, without a formalized structure. They reminiscence about the fallen, how much he will be missed -- ormissed—or has been missed.
 
An actual wake is possible, as the bereaved can talk and drink without a ceremony to go through. Or they may meet somewhere, and talk. (They may not even intend to grieve, but they end up doing so.) A bar is likely, because the wake often involves alcohol -- soalcohol—so often that it generally does not appear only if it is impossible. Expect the dead to be toasted. ([[Drowning My Sorrows]] may convert into this if the drinker bumps into another friend.) Sometimes the drink is poured on the ground as a [[Libation for the Dead]].
 
Soldiers on a mission may start to talk, and lead to this, if they are waiting for something and have lost a comrade. (The situation in which alcohol is least likely to feature. But the [[Military Moonshiner]] may have some.)
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May also feature long after the death (or deaths) as characters remember all their dead and [[Famed in Story|tell stories of them]]. The toast is often "To absent friends". This can overlap with [[Tell Me About My Father]].
 
Suitable for a [[Bittersweet Ending]] or a [[Downer Ending]], but can happen anywhere in a story -- evenstory—even as a [[Framing Device]] at the very beginning of a work that [[Starts with Their Funeral]]. Remembering the sacrifice may inspire characters to fight on, lest it have been a [[Senseless Sacrifice]].
 
Contrast [[Forgotten Fallen Friend]], [[Dead Guy, Junior]].
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** Weber manages a particularly vicious subversion of this in [[Honor Harrington|''Echoes of Honor'']], when Honor's Mother's pregnancy has been announced and that therefore Honor's sibling will secede her as Steadholder Harrington. Admiral Yanakov asks to make a toast. One expects this trope to be invoked, and is instead given: {{spoiler|''"Your Grace, My Lords and Ladies, Ladies and Gentlemen all, I give you Steadholder Harrington....''and damnation to the Peeps!''"''}}
* In [[Jim Butcher]]'s [[Dresden Files]] novel ''Turn Coat'', {{spoiler|Morgan}} is officially denied a [[Meaningful Funeral]] as part of the coverup. They resort to an impromptu wake instead.
* [[Gentleman Bastard|Locke Lamora]] practices the Camorri tradition of "pouring a glass to air," setting out a drink for a friend who's gone -- whethergone—whether that means dead, or simply long absent.
* In [[Robert E. Howard]]'s "[[Beyond the Black River]]", [[Conan the Barbarian]] and the sole survivor of the fort discuss the deaths at the end, particularly Valannus and Balthus.
* The first book of the Invasion cycle in the [[Magic: The Gathering]] books ends with this. The united forces of Dominaria have dealt a mighty defeat to the invading Phyrexians, and there's a massive celebration. But three men sit apart: Urza, {{spoiler|who lost longtime friend Barrin}}, Gerrard, {{spoiler|who lost his love Hanna}}, and Agnate, {{spoiler|who dealt a mercy kill to his 'brother' and comrade Thaddeus}}.
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* In one episode of ''[[M*A*S*H (television)|Mash]]'', Colonel Potter acts oddly. At the end, he reveals that he and some comrades had found some cognac in an abandoned French chateau during [[World War I]], saved the last bottle, and declared that the last survivor would drink a toast to the rest. Potter is now the last survivor, and draws in the MASH staff to hear his story and share the bottle.
* ''[[Battlestar Galactica Reimagined]]'' has this trope, like many others, to an art form. It's played quite frequently in the Viper rec room, especially. Apollo's retirement toast is an awesome example of the trope. (involving five shots of a potent drink--quitedrink—quite possibly [[Military Moonshiner|eau de flight deck]]):
{{quote|"To Galactica!" (Apollo takes a first shot amidst cheers)
"To the men and women of Galactica!" (Apollo takes a second shot, amidst more cheers)
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== Real Life ==
 
* "[[To Absent Friends]]" [http://www.history.navy.mil/library/special/mess_night.htm is a real toast offered at military banquets.] In particular, it is the traditional toast for Sunday night in Commonwealth navies. (And the US Navy, I think.). At some banquets, it is illustrated literally by [http://usmilitary.about.com/od/airforce/a/powmiatable.htm having an empty table set aside and specially decorated in memory of POW/MIA's.]
** At least the Golden Corral restaurant nearest me (don't know if they all do) keeps one small table always decorated thusly, with an explanation posted of each symbolic part of the table. It's touching and refreshing, oddly, all at once, to see such a memorial setting put out in the eye of the general public.
* In Russia, the obligatory third toast, as long as the company drinking contains at least a substantial minority of Army/Navy/Airforce men, both active and retired.
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== Other ==
 
* Subverted in an old joke about an Irishman (or other stereotypical hard drinker) who goes to a bar every week and orders a round of three drinks--onedrinks—one for himself and two for his brothers, who are alive but live far away. Each brother does this as a sort of long-distance show of kinship. One day he shows up and orders only two drinks--thedrinks—the bartender, fearing the worst, offers his sympathies but it turns out one of the brothers had just given up drinking.
** In some versions it was ''him'' who decided to quit drinking.
 
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