The Onion: Difference between revisions

A [[Satire|satirical]] newspaper devoted to all aspects of American life and culture, frequently parodying tropes mentioned on [[This Very Wiki]]. Started in 1988 as a print newspaper in Madison, Wisconsin (by a pair of students at the University of Wisconsin), it has since branched off into the internet, including video clips supposedly originating from the [[CNN|Onion News Network]].

 

 

''The Onion'' also has an entertainment/pop culture newspaper and website called [http://www.avclub.com/ the AV Club], which features pop culture news, reviews of almost every form of media (TV, albums, books, etc.) and interviews presented in a humorous but factual tone. The site's head writer is [[Nathan Rabin]]. The AV Club maintains a separate identity and has very little (if anything) in common with ''The Onion'', mostly to avoid people mistakenly thinking that the AV Club presents fake news like ''The Onion''.

 

* [[Aborted Arc]]: The [http://www.theonion.com/articles/mysterious-congressman-announces-dark-horse-candid,2141/ mysterious congressman's presidential campaign] initially seemed like just another funny article, but it was then followed up by [http://www.theonion.com/articles/mysterious-congressman-challenges-leading-candidat,2245/ him challenging the other candidates to a debate at dawn]. Since then, nothing.

* [[A Day in The Limelight]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-is-pundit-duncan-birch-a-worthless-idi,18591/ Is Pundit Duncan Birch A Worthless Idiot?]"

* [[Adventurer Archaeologist]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38680 Archaeologist Tired of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils]".

** [http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/ In the Onion Sports Network's main page], if you look at the list of sports categories, "[[Soccer]]" is lumped in the same category as "Women's Sports".

** "[http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/video/suffering-cleveland-bans-all-professional-sports,19701/ Suffering Cleveland Bans All Professional Sports]".

* [[And I Must Scream]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-hearing-loved-ones-voice-induces-excru,27035/ Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients]".

* [[Animal Wrongs Group]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39180 Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit]".

* [[Animated Adaptation]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/aaron_sorkin_announces_new_west Aaron Sorkin Announces New 'West Wing' Animated Series At SorCon]".

* [[Antiquated Linguistics]]: The book ''[http://store.theonion.com/product/our-dumb-century-paperback,17/ Our Dumb Century]'' loves these.

* [[Artifact of Attraction]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45795 Wool Blanket Destroys Commune]".

* [[Artifact of Doom]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-moves-on-from-demi-dating-evil-black-disc,26880/ Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/budget-mixup-provides-nations-schools-with-enough,20350/ Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation's Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students]".

* [[Black Comedy Rape]]:

** From ''Our Dumb Century'', "January 30, 1969 - U.S. TROOPS PULL OUT OF VIETNAMESE PEASANT GIRL; 27th Infantry Division ordered to fully withdraw from Sia Nguyen, 14. 'That's enough for now, boys' says captain."

* [[Blatant Lies]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/massive-flow-of-bullshit-continues-to-gush-from-bp,17564/ Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters]".

* [[Bothering By the Book]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/regulation-spitefully-obeyed-to-the-letter,430/ Regulation Spitefully Obeyed To The Letter]".

* [[Bottled Cool]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27642 Area Man Buying Not So Much A Soft Drink As An Image]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/when-you-think-mcdonoughs-auto-repair-you-think-cr,17998/ When You Think McDonough's Auto Repair, You Think Craftsmanship, Murder, And Pride]".

** An autistic reporter covering a [http://www.theonion.com/video/autistic-reporter-train-thankfully-unharmed-in-cra,20098/ train accident]: "Before the train came to a complete stop, it ran over three trash bags, a piece of gum, a Snickers wrapper, a man, and a glove."

** There's a ''lot'' of articles that involve dreadful things happening to former U.S. President [[George W Bush]].

** Madison Daly and Tucker Hope are treated poorly by Brooke Alvarez.

* [[Call Back]]: One article makes reference to an online voting system that allows millions of masturbators to take part in the voting process. Two days later, the article "Nonvoter Knew It Would Turn Out This Way" ends with the nonvoter admitting he might start voting if the online voting for masturbators was up by 2012.

* [[The Cameo]]: [http://www.theonion.com/video/psa-ben-stiller-speaks-out-against-shaken-manchild,19732/ Ben Stiller], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjmW_20-iYA Rachel Maddow], and Mike Huckabee were all on the TV show. The last two were on the same episode.

** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/perky-canada-has-own-government-laws,19927/ Perky 'Canada' Has Own Government, Laws]".

** From the cartoons, "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/editorial-cartoon-november-12-2007,12321/ The THREAT Across the OTHER Border]".

* [[Circles of Hell]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28898 Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly-Growing Hell]".

* [[Clap Your Hands If You Believe]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obama_warns_he_may_cease_to Obama Warns He May Cease To Exist Unless America Believes In Him]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-massive-wildfires-geopolitical-crises-aids,20830/ Report: Massive Wildfires, Geopolitical Crises, AIDS, Human Rights Violations, Deadly Shootings, Africa, Trapped Travelers, Ethical And Moral Issues, Child Labor, Drug Wars]"

** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-to-bet-the-farm-on-one-last-big-bill,21192/ Congress To Bet The Farm On One Last Big Bill]".

* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: Several of the columnists, but particularly flaky stoner dude Jim Anchower.

** Jean Teasdale is a vicious and tragic deconstruction, as she's almost (but not entirely) oblivious to the living hell that is her life. This is [[Played for Laughs]].

** "[http://zorak.best.vwh.net/toc/fuckingmoon.html Holy Shit: Man Walks On Fucking Moon]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of Sony Releases Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work]".

* [[Dinner Order Flub]]: In ''Our Dumb World'''s entry on Burkina Faso, there's a joke about the very low literacy rate of that country when one of their diplomats tries to order a notice that an extra gratuity may be charged for large groups.

* [[Disproportionate Retribution]]: "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDWo6m5hbG4&feature=channel Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar]".

* [[Doorstopper]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27769 Girlfriend Stops Reading David Foster Wallace Breakup Letter At Page 20]".

* [[Downer Ending]]: See [[Mood Whiplash]] example below.

** Type 2: "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7c_OMWp21g Has Obama Failed To Reduce Hostility Toward Obnoxious Americans Abroad?]"

* [[Early Bird Cameo]]: In "[http://www.theonion.com/video/biden-criticized-for-appearing-in-hennessy-ads,14392/ Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy ads]", a spokesperson for Hennessy was seen on ''Fact Zone'', which is where the show on IFC would take place about a year after the video was released. The show would occasionally be mentioned on the news ticker on some other videos.

* [[Everything Is Big in Texas]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/texas_constructs_u_s_border_wall?utm_source=a-section Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans]".

** [[Brain Food]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38541 Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet]".

** [[Zombie Apocalypse]]:

*** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676 Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack]".

*** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/low-voter-turnout-blamed-on-electionday-zombie-att,1102/ Low Voter Turnout Blamed On Election-Day Zombie Attacks]".

* [[Evil Power Vacuum]] / [[Jerk Jock]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/secondmost-popular-kid-in-school-assumes-power-fol,18088/ Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback]".

* [[Evil Old Folks]]: T. Herman Zweibel, the fictional Editor of the ''Onion'' since 1888, is the epitome of this Trope.

* [[Glorious Leader]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-declares-self-president-for-life,191/ Clinton Declares Self President For Life]," complete with [[Commissar Cap]] and [[Chest of Medals]]

* [[Glurge]]: [[In Universe]], "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27621 Nation Afraid To Admit 9-Year-Old Disabled Poet Really Bad]".

* [[Good Cop Bad Cop]]:

** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/good-cop-avidstampcollector-cop-routine-not-workin,6088/ Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working]".

* [[Hype Aversion]]: [[In Universe]], "[http://www.theonion.com/video/new-apple-friend-bar-gives-customers-someone-to-ta,17693/ New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products]".

* [[I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/ But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them]".

* [[I Have This Friend]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/bush_asks_advice_for_this Bush Asks Advice For This Friend Of His Who Invaded Iraq]".

** [http://www.theonion.com/video/political-talk-show-host-suddenly-very-interested,14340/ "Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes"]

* [[The Internet Is for Porn]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/naked_woman_picture_gains Naked Woman Picture Gains Popularity On Internet]". ([[NSFW]])

* [[It Is Beyond Saving]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0AEarudEdI "FDA Commissioner: I Give up On You Pigs"]

* [[I Want My Jetpack]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-thought-wed-have-flying-slaves-by-now,27000/ I Thought We'd Have Flying Slaves By Now]".

* [[Japandering]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-earns-money-for-us-by-appearing-in-japanese,21292/ Obama Earns Money For U.S. By Appearing In Japanese Television Commercial]"

* [[Jiggle Physics]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/new_video_game_technology?utm_source=c-section New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering Of Smaller Breasts]".

* [[Jurisdiction Friction]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/local_authorities_more_than Local Authorities More Than Happy To Let FBI Take Over]".

* [[Killed Off for Real]]:

** [http://www.theonion.com/articles/whiteonwhite-violence-claims-life-of-accounts-rece,5683 Herbert Kornfeld.]

* [[Mistaken Nationality]]

** [[Spexico]] "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38654 Restaurant Turns Out To Be Spanish, Not Mexican]".

* [[Mood Whiplash]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-bipartisan-law-would-make-dog-neckerchiefs-man,26301/ New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory]". Everyone gushes about how cute they all are, and then you get to paragraph 15: "As of press time, an estimated 800,000 dogs had been euthanized for failing to comply with the new law."

** [http://www.theonion.com/articles/person-who-will-one-day-become-warlordruler-of-wha,27406/ "Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital"] swings wildly between "D'awww, look at his cute widdle fingers" and "...which he will form into an iron fist and crush all who dare to oppose him".

* [[No Indoor Voice]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-enjoy-yelling-things,10821/ I Enjoy Yelling Things]".

* [[Not Listening to Me Are You]]: The AV Club reposted a wildly popular shot of two female leads from ''[[Community]]'' re-enacting a famous picture by [[Bettie Page]]. About halfway through [http://www.avclub.com/articles/fine-here-is-that-picture-of-alison-brie-and-gilli,59026/ the one paragraph article], they conclude [[Just Here for Godzilla|no one is there to actually read it]] and just start listing random factoids.

* [[Off With His Head]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/white-house-jester-beheaded-for-making-fun-of-soar,17495/ White House Jester Beheaded For Making Fun Of Soaring National Debt]".

* [[Old Shame]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29964 Energy Secretary Just Assumed Cabinet Knew He Did Porn Films In The '80s]".

* [[Perverse Sexual Lust]]: "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmmAdbDF1xA FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan]".

* [[Please Wake Up]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/daddy_put_in_bye_bye_box Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box]".

** The most famous example, arguably, is the Chinese newspaper falling for the story about Congress threatening to leave Washington D.C. unless a better building was built. The one about Harry Potter sparking a rise in witchcraft, as well as the video about the boy bankrupting the Make-A-Wish Foundation with infinite wishes, have shown up in some email forwards.

** [http://literallyunbelievable.tumblr.com/ This site archives Facebook reactions treating the articles as real.]

* [[Poor Communication Kills]]: In ''Our Dumb Century'', [[World War One]] ends when Archduke Franz Ferdinand is unexpectedly found alive; he had apparently been living as a Croatian peasant for several years and was completely unaware that everyone thought he was dead. The Allies are obviously displeased that the war was just a big misunderstanding, so the German chancellor orders Ferdinand's real execution to appease them.

* [[Popularity Polynomial]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28763 Lava Lamps Revert From Passé Retro Kitsch Back To Novel Retro Camp]".

* [[Pretty Fly for A White Guy]]: [http://www.theonion.com/personalities/herbert-kornfeld,1019/ Herbert Kornfeld], Accounts Receivable.

{{quote| '''Kornfeld''': 'Cause I keep my fly shit on my desk. I gots my dope spreadsheets, my hangin' file folders, my delinquent-account file, my paper clips, my Post-It note dispenser, my monthly desk planner, my Midstate Office Supply business cards, my four-color ball-point pen, my motherfuckin' dot-matrix printer address labels, and my stoopid-fresh three-hole punch. Not to mention my computer. I swear, if I see any of y'all within three feet of my computer, I'll put a [[Lee Van Cleef]] on your bitch ass. I'll come at you like a ''mother fuck''.}}

** Clifford Banes has [[The Ghost|never actually appeared]] in his self-titled panel-discussion series ''In the Know with Clifford Banes''; there's always a sit-in newscaster who gives a reason, often completely absurd, for Banes' absence.

** The Statue of Liberty crying appears in many Kelly cartoons.

** All the [[George W Bush]] injury articles (see [[Butt Monkey]] and [[Take That]]) end with "Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital."

* [[Sampling]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-rappers-down-to-last-two-samples,793/ Nation's Rappers Down to Last Two Samples]".

* [[Save Our Students]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39341 Naive Teacher Believes in Her Students]".

* [[Saw Star Wars Twenty Seven Times]]: [http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-takes-leave-of-office-to-stand-in-line-for,743/ One article] written during the [[Bill Clinton|Clinton administration]] mentions the President planning to see ''[[The Phantom Menace]]'' at least twenty times during its opening weekend, after which he will return to his office and follow a once-a-day viewing schedule.

** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38588 Driver's Ed Class Finally Gets To See Legendary Safety Film]".

** "[http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/kids-in-scaredstraight-program-visit-horrifying-cl,19156/ Kids In Scared Straight Program Visit Horrifying Cleveland Cavaliers Practice]".

* [[Schmuck Bait]]: During ''Fact Zone'''s intro, if you pause at just the right time you'll see a TinyURL address. It leads to a [[Rick Roll]].

* [[Screwed By the Network]]: [[In Universe]]. On the season finale of the show on IFC, ''The Cressbeckler Stance'' was canned so the network could introduce a new program about motorcycles {{spoiler|in the spirit of the new American Dream}}.

* [[Second Person Narration]]: The paper's preferred method to point out [[This Loser Is You]], such as "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/everyone-still-remembers-time-you-threw-up-in-5th,17291/ Everyone Still Remembers Time You Threw Up In 5th Grade]".

* [[Sequelitis]]: [[In Universe]], "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/vindictive-movie-studio-threatens-to-make-coyote-u,2719/ Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel]".

* [[Shout Out]]: An allusion to ''The Emperor's New Clothes'' in "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/apple_claims_new_iphone_only Apple Claims New iPhone Only Visible To Most Loyal Of Customers]".

* [[Side Effects Include]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28349 Pfizer Launches 'Zoloft for Everything' Ad Campaign]".

* [[Single Tear]]: The editorial cartoonist is fond of depicting the Statue of Liberty shedding this.

* [[Sophisticated As Hell]]: [http://www.theonion.com/personalities/smoove-b,1022/ Smoove B.]

{{quote| '''Smoove B''': Lay your body down, and I will show you love. I will drape you in the finest black silks. I will travel to the finest Asian nations to attain this silk. Then, I will run my fingers through your hair. I will caress your body slowly and whisper in your ear while I do so. I will tell you such things as, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world" and "Your skin is like the most expensive Swiss chocolate money can buy" and "Your eyes are like windows to paradise," and other romantic things that will make you tremble with desire. ''I will hit you doggy-style.''}}

** The entire point of Roger Dudek's "[http://www.theonion.com/personalities/roger-dudek,1027/ Write On The Funny!]"

** Also present in [http://www.theonion.com/personalities/jean-teasdale,1021/ Jean Teasdale's column] (with lines like "Osama bin Laden should take a chocolate pill!") and some of the cartoons (when they're not full of [[Patriotic Fervor]] and [[You Can Panic Now]]).

* [[Spoiler]]: [[In Universe]], "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/final_harry_potter_book Final Harry Potter Book Blasted For Containing Spoilers]".

* [[Stalking Is Love]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29546 Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested]".

* [[Testosterone Poisoning]] / [[Real Men Wear Pink]] "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-texasstyle-yogurt-to-feed-mansize-hunger-for-y,2422/ New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt]"

* [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill]]: “[http://www.theonion.com/articles/nypd-apologizes-for-accidental-shootingclubbingsta,739/ NYPD Apologizes For Accidental Shooting-Clubbing-Stabbing-Firebombing(-Choking-Impaling-Electrocution-Lethal-injection) Death]” - with officers accidentally shooting a man about 275 times at point-blank range, blowing him up with grenades, lighting him up with shotguns, then stabbing him, blowing up his severed head, skewering the remaining part of the body and administering a lethal injection.

** "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7mekhFTrXM NHL Woos Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line]".

** Inverted with "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/sun-chips-abandons-biodegradable-bag,18237/ Sun Chips Abandons Biodegradable Bag]".

* [[Trailers Always Spoil]]: "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBM3j7x4Lcw&NR=1 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film]".

* [[Transforming Mecha]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27590 Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot]".

* [[Transparent Closet]]:

** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29378 Area Homosexual Thinks He's Still In The Closet]".

* [[Video Game Settings]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/neighborhood-would-make-a-great-video-game-level,18196/ Neighborhood Would Make A Great Video Game Level]".

* [[Viewers Are Goldfish]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/fcc-all-programming-to-be-broadcast-in-adhdtv-by-2,1841/ FCC: All Programming To Be Broadcast In ADHDTV By 2007]".

* [[Villain Has a Point]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-authorities-cant-really-fault-alqaeda-for-deadl,19105/ U.S. Authorities Can't Really Fault Al-Qaeda For Deadly Bombing Of Carnival Cruise Ship]"

{{quote| Following Monday's deadly terrorist attack on a Carnival Cruise Line ship, U.S. officials have had difficulty issuing a stern condemnation of the incident, saying that while any act of terrorism is inexcusable, they couldn't completely blame al-Qaeda for wanting to blow up what is essentially a giant, floating symbol of everything that is truly god-awful about America.}}

* [[Wham Line]]: The very last line of the aforementioned "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/cult-divided-on-whether-to-let-women-become-telepa,17842/ Cult Divided On Whether To Let Women Become Telepathic-Vision Clerics]" article. {{spoiler|"This whole argument will be moot in six days when we board up the windows and [[Man On Fire|burn ourselves alive."]]}}

* [[What Could Have Been]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/97yearold-dies-unaware-of-being-violin-prodigy,18194/ 97-Year-Old Dies Unaware Of Being Violin Prodigy]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/excited_red_sox_fans_eagerly_await Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka's 'Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion']", complete with an "[[Dragonball Z|Over Nine Thousand]]" reference.

** "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU2SWgP9qao Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/yard-sign-with-candidates-name-on-it-electrifies-c,18321/ Yard Sign With Candidate's Name On It Electrifies Congressional Race]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25742 I Appreciate The Muppets On A Much Deeper Level Than You]".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39205 Freshman Term Paper Discovers Something Totally New About 'Silas Marner']".

** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27794 Grad Student Deconstructs Take-Out Menu]".

** [[Real Life]] example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam...meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article.

* [[When All You Have Is a Hammer]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-i-had-one-piece-of-advice-for-todays-youth-it-w,18438/ If I Had One Piece Of Advice For Today's Youth, It Would Be To Throw A Baseball Really, Really Well]".

* [[Where Everybody Knows Your Flame]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-bar-comes-out-as-gay,2447/ Local Bar Comes Out As Gay]".

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