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True Capitalist: Difference between revisions
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[[caption-width-right:182:[[Catch Phrase|"I am your host, the man they call Ghost."]]<ref>[[Stupid Statement Dance Mix|"I'm a fat fruity bastard, and I'm a nice guy!"]]</ref>
Meet John Conquest, AKA [[Only Known By Their Nickname|Ghost,]] [[Authority in Name Only|King of the Mexicans,]] a racist, tiger shrimp-eating, [[Camp Gay|flamboyant,]] [[Fat Bastard|morbidly obese,]] [[Shapeshifting|shapeshifting]] [[Canada, Eh?|Canadian]] [[Informed Judaism|Jewish]] [[The Reptilians|lizard]] who [[Domestic Abuse|abuses his family,]] proclaims his love of ''[[My Little Pony]]'', and takes advantage of the welfare system all the while [[Ho Yay|having a torrid affair with Herman Cain]] and pining after [[Sarah Palin]].
...well, if you listen to his [[Troll|fans]], anyway.
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Ghost is actually a Texan pundit who broadcasts True Capitalist Radio on blogtalkradio.com. He is an ardent capitalist (at least he [[You Keep Using That Word|calls himself one on every possible occasion]]; True Materialist Radio might be a more appropriate name for the program), and his show goes through the usual topics, starting with the markets, then on to coverage of recent political headlines. And like all good political talk shows, he also frequently takes calls from listeners.
Here in lies the problem (at least for him, anyway). Listeners have noticed that he has a [[Hair
Though, when he's ''not'' raging, Ghost ''is'' a relatively good pundit (if you, er, share his views); he knows where the money is, and he knows how his listeners can get in the action themselves (unless they're doing it with welfare checks, of course)
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There has been much speculation regarding whether Ghost is genuine in his antics, or if he's a [[Troll]]. Following the show's (alleged) cancellation on May 23, 2012, it was revealed in a final chat session that {{spoiler|both sides are sort of right. His rages were exaggerated and he is, in fact, friends with the troll Amy Daly, but he was also a Texan capitalist and a genuinely angry man when he started the show- three hours a day of ranting about politics and being trolled helped him get it all out of his system. However, knowing his nature, it is likely all of this is suspect and that this may be a hiatus.}}
{{tropelist}}
* [[Abhorrent Admirer]]: Amy Daly and Tri$ha are both in love with Ghost.
* [[Actually Pretty Funny]]: Despite his feuds with The Ghetto Capitalist, even Ghost admitted that Ghetto Capitalist [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv-DfnHyM_c&t=10m35s making his baby cry like T-Pain] was actually funny.
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** The Engineer speaks this as his first language.
* [[A Day in The Limelight]]: On 12/6/11, the Engineer hosted the end of the show, and again on 1/09/12. Ghost was not happy.
* [[And Your Little Dog, Too]]: Ghost threatens trolls who really piss him off with tracking them, go to their houses, beat their asses, bang their wife, beat their dog and [[Beyond the Impossible|drown their goldfish.]]
* [[Ascended Meme]]: Ghost is now actually fond of NavyHuskie's "Taco Tuesday" remix, mainly because it declares him the "king of Mexicans", and its about his favorite day (ignoring the parts where he calls himself a hambone and the "king of racist", of course)
** Tara Strong (a ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Animation)|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]]'' voice actor) uses the term "melting pot of friendship." Also, as he ended his show, she tweeted him saying "I don't know u, but the fans love u, so u must be #twilightlicous...& your rant about that lil song made me laugh.."
** And unlike Mike Pollock, even after she found out the significance of the term, she said she'd still very gladly do voice requests for fans, actually finding the meme pretty funny. So Tara Strong.... you ARE a champion!
* [[Artifact Title]]: Apparently, the show used to be called "True ''Conservative'' Radio", boy things have changed.
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** Taken [[Up to Eleven]] with a recent broadcast: ''people being born in the Spring enrages him.''
** Playing advertisements for other stuff, enraging Ghost and his capitalistic lifestyle.
** [[What Do You Mean
** Mocking KaraszKun can send him into impressive rages.
* [[Big Damn Heroes]]: Senator [[Running Gag|Pooptickler]] and a group of assorted [[Enemy Mine|bronies and capitalists]] came to Ghost's rescue on January 31st, 2012, trolling Celticbrony and convincing the Prognosticator of Prognosticators not to quit the show.
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* [[Bittersweet Ending]]: Bitter in that the show had a lot of life left in it and a tiger shrimp/Karaszkun story arc of sorts looked like it was about to get off the ground before being abruptly cut off; sweet in that everybody involved gets a [[Happily Ever After|pretty happy ending.]]
* [[Black Comedy Rape]]: "The next subject I'd like to talk about is... [[Crosses the Line Twice|rape]]."
* [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKT7IRavGOo A caller starts out talking about TSA airport security], {{spoiler|then abruptly goes into a very graphic description of him masturbating at the airport}}.
* [[Breather Episode]]: The December 24th show can be considered this.
* [[Brick Joke]]: Throughout October, trolls called in wishing Ghost a merry Christmas, causing him to rage that it wasn't even Halloween yet. And then, months later, in the Christmas show...
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* [[Butt Monkey]]: Ghost is the butt monkey of his own show!
* [[Camp Gay]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZjcSA9luic Caller 111]/The Internet Buttstalker, who calls in a ridiculously effeminate voice while making ''very'' suggestive requests.
* [[Canada, Eh?|Canadia, Eh?]]: Ghost seems to have a thing against Canada for some reason...
{{quote| "Y'know, there's something very ''Canadian'' about you calling me from the tub."}}
** According to Ghost he hates Canada because [[Too Soon|they booed the national anthem a few days after 9/11]].
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* [[Day of the Week Name]]: Taco Tuesday, Baller Friday.
** However, he does ''not'' want the show to turn into Carpet Munching Monday, Fruitbowl Wednesday, or Bathhouse Thursday.
* [[Deconstruction Fic]]: Predictably, in response to all the pony-hate he propagates "''THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!''", someone got the bright idea to do a complete send-up of Ghost's show, but discussing ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Animation)|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]]'' instead; complete with calling people "carrotbowls" and hating on capitalists. The result? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQJv7tkSOZQ True Equestrian Radio].
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: "Slanderous lies".
** "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYz2lIJUqVE All you remixing jerks are jerks]".
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** He said Bullets4Bronies was going too far.
** He got very angry at some twitter names mocking MCA's death.
* [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"]]: The Engineer.
** Ghost himself, which is obviously not his real name.
* [[Exact Words]]: He said that [[Your Mom|your mother]] was at T.G.I. Friday's looking for "Alabama black snake." Presumably ABS is an obscure cocktail that few of us have heard of, and ''not'' a black man's penis?
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* [[Fat Bastard]]: Ghost actually called one of his younger trolls this. [[Crosses the Line Twice|The troll reacted by pretending to have an orgasm.]]
* [[Face Heel Turn]]: Equestrian Citizen [[The Reveal|revealed himself]] to be [[Pretty Fly for A White Guy|a white guy using a voice changer]] and promptly began sucking up to Ghost.
* [[Five
** Early lineup:
*** [[The Hero]] — Internet Buttstalker
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*** [[The Big Guy]] — Hambone Ghost
*** [[The Chick]] — Goat
* [[Five
** Early lineup:
*** [[The Big Bad]] — Ghost
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* [[Godzilla Threshold]]: After [[Despair Event Horizon|Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary,]] Ghost was so disgusted with the crop of Republican candidates that he considered supporting Ron Paul.
** He has also considered moving to "Canadia" since, in his words, they're getting more capitalist than America
* [[Hair
** Hell, even staying on topic makes him rage sometimes. Just having a voice he doesn't like makes him think "Your voice doesn't fit my idea of machismo, therefore, you're destroying America and your point is moot." This even happened with a caller who agreed with him on 10/4/11.
** He even makes ''himself'' rage. This is especially prominent in his early shows.
* [[He
* [[Hidden Depths]]: Darker example. The Engineer is a racist, and Ghetto Capitalist [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnjZGOD04so wants to incite a race war.]
* [[Hostile Show Takeover]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7eS7NTMeWk&feature=g-u The Engineer, of all people]
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* [[Interrupting Meme]]: "SUCK MAH DIIIIICK!" was used in such a manner on one occasion.
* [[I Read It for The Articles]]: Some people actually listen to Ghost for his political opinions.
* [[
* [[Is This Thing On?]]: How Ghost began his big comeback on April 17th.
* [[I Take Offense to That Last One]]: When accused of being, for example, a "racist, [[Shape Shifter|shapeshifting]] Jew," his response is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUAsAmhfBIw&feature=related I'm not a Jew!]". Could be considered a running joke.
** A caller sings a parody of "[[Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer]]" where he calls Ghost a racist, a fruitbowl, a hambone, and a reptile. But Ghost doesn't get offended until he says "Hannukah night".
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* [[Mistaken for Racist]]: Subverted. Ghost insists that this is what's happened to him, but his usage of terms like "Alabama black snake," and firm belief in racial stereotypes reveals a very different story.
* [[Mistaken Identity]]: "Is this Nikolai?!"
** [[Thoroughly Mistaken Identity]]: Someone [[Bullying a Dragon|prank-called]] [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?|the FBI]] with splices of Ghost's voice, and as a result he sounds completely, hilariously insane:
{{quote| '''FBI:''' Hello, this is the FBI.<br />
'''Ghost:''' Is this Nikolai?!<br />
'''FBI:''' ...no, this is the FBI.<br />
'''Ghost:''' You cock-eyed Russian. }}
* [[Mondegreen]]: In the November 1 Radio Graffiti segment, a caller, impersonating Twilight Sparkle from [[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Animation)|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]] says "suck my flank" to imitate the "Suck my dick" guy. Ghost mishears it and says "Are you kidding me?! Suck my BLANK?!"
** Ghost misheard Tri$ha saying "what do you have against the [[Transsexual|third gender]]" as "surf dinner", to which he replied "I ''like'' Surf 'n' Turf, what the hell you talking about?"
** Ghost has misinterpreted the word "[[Touhou]]" as "[[Blind Idiot Translation|toe hoe]]" on several occasions, causing him to rant that the fandom is made up of "[[Foot Focus|sick foot fetish freaks]]".
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* [[Older Than They Think]] ([[In Universe]]): Before it turned into Engineer's running gag, someone played the theme from [[Boss Nigger|that film]] during the June 17th, 2011 raid.
* [[Once an Episode]]: He always starts with the markets, then goes to political news, then Radio Graffiti, a call-in segment where callers get "three to four seconds to say whatever's on your mind"
* [[One
* [[One of Us]]: A truly bizarre example. Ghost, who is basically an old, angry redneck, seems to know just about everything about [[Nerd]] culture. This has been cited as evidence of him being a troll.
** In particular, he's surprising adept at recognizing ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Animation)|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]]'' quotes and songs, and clearly knows things about the show such as how ponies get their cutie marks and the Derpy Hooves fiasco despite claiming that he didn't watch the show and that it's for eight-year-old girls.
** February 28th, 2012: (in response to a caller playing a remix of "Bloody Tears") "Get out of here with your dumbass Mexican music... no, wait a minute, that's ''[[Castlevania]]''. Throw the Holy Water, I love that sound!" Ghost later went on to declare the second game in the series his favorite.
** He also likes Nirvana (specifically, the song "Rape Me") and is a big enough Marilyn Manson fan to know the b-side track "The Hands of Small Children" (and use it in his Woodchipper segment) and "We're From America."
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* [[Please Subscribe to Our Channel]]: "Spread it around LIKE WAHLDFAUR!"
** At times, he even does shoutouts for those who retweet his show posts on Twitter. However, given this show's reputation, if your screen name references one of the things he hates...
* [[
** He demonstrates his voice acting talents on many occasions, doesn't sound that Texan and is just too perfect trolling material. You'd think he'd learned by now not to answer calls from Dr. Pooptickler.
** On the other hand, if he '''is''' a troll, he's spent four years and anywhere from $1596 to $11,952 just to piss people off.
* [[Pound of Flesh Twist]]: Sure, Celtic's gambit might have worked, but Ghost's retirement made the whole thing moot.
* [[Precision F
* [[Put On a Bus]]: Asho has been sent off to rehab.
* [[Rage Quit]]: Ghost seems to be the master at faking going off the air, since usually something will end up happening which turns it into more of an intermission.
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** A frequent Skype caller with the username "[[Tara Strong|TaraStrong]]" often plays spliced quotes from everypony's favorite show, but has also played [[Drawn Together|Princess Clara]] lines, taking advantage of the fact that she shares the same voice actor as Twilight Sparkle. Ghost caught on to the part that mattered, and immediately dismissed them as being Pony-related.
** Averted when someone was playing [[Castlevania|Bloody Tears]] and Ghost thought it was Mexican music, until he heard a little more and realized it was from Castlevania.
* [[Refuge in Audacity]]: The entire show comes off as this. This is the audio adventures of a really [[Large Ham|loud]] Texan and his loyal engineer, and said Texan flips out over prank calls made by the likes of [[Troll|trolls]] playing splices, [[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Animation)|bronies]], a [[Get Rich Quick Scheme|suburban welfare receiver]], [[Camp Gay|a fabulous man in his tub]], [[Token Minority|an 8 year old Mexican kid]], [[Transsexual|a 'trans-testicle']] and other bizarre characters.
** The twitter shoutouts even more so:
{{quote| '''Ghost:''' Uh, we got "Knot See," uh, "Occupy Equestria," we got "Occupy Ghost's Ass" (GEDDIMOFF), we got "Low Fat Sperm," we got "Minor Crap Boy," we got "Ghostler," we got "Benito Ghostini," we got "Ghostef Stalin," we got [[Overly Long Gag|"Fidel Ghostro"]] (THESE SICK-ASS NAMES, MAN) we got "Kony's Sex Slave" (...you sick fruitbowls), we got "Slimy Gimp Girl," we got "Mug Ranny Saw Tranny-" AAAAAAAAUUGGHHH YOU SICK, SICK BASTARDS, AUUUUUUGHH! THESE SICK PRICKS! LOOK AT 'EM, ENGINEER!<br />
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** Spontaneously breaking into song (Junkyard America!)
** [[Twitter]] filled with usernames intended to make him rage ("PoopTickler?! What kind of a name is PoopTickler?!").
*** Twitter names taking the form of "_______ for ______" (i.e. Spongies for Ghost, Bronies for Ghost, [[Dude, Not Funny|Radiation for Japan,]] etc.)
*** Twitter names combining Ghost's name with that of communist or fascist dictators (i.e. Ghostler, Benito Ghostini, Ghostef Stalin, Fidel Ghostro, etc.)
** Ghost playing clips from "representatives" from various foreign locales (including "Mr. Fortune Cookie" from Communist China, Machmud, a "representative of the Libyan rebel faction", and "The Guru", a stereotypical Indian)
** NIKOLAI 2012
** Ghost's disdain for the Occupy Wall Street movement has led to a series of trolls and twitter names mocking him for it. Among them are OccupyCanadia, OccupyManehattan, OccupyCanterlot, OccupyPonyville, OccupySixthStreet, and [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick|OccupyGhost'sAss.]]
** There was a recurring joke throughout the January 20th show that Ghost was every member of the Today Show.
* [[Satan Is Good]]:
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* [[Show Within a Show]]: True Optimist Radio, created in response to a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ie0VxwSFN8 caller] that Ghost declared wanted everything sugar-coded with optimism, turning one of his mocking voices into a new persona, Mr. Optimism, who tries to conduct the show in a [[Lighter and Softer]] manner.
** Ghost being Ghost, this was more of a [[Bitch in Sheep's Clothing]]
* [[Shut Up, Kirk]]: When someone infuriates him in a call, he will tell them to shut up and call them out. One example was on February 3rd's Radio Graffiti segment, where a caller just tells him how to run his show. Ghost did '''[[Unstoppable Rage|not]]''' take it well and called him out for being "a Roman Polanski paedophile."
* [[Sitcom Arch Nemesis]]: Tzeki, Alex Jones, Howard Stern, [[Troubling Unchildlike Behavior|Asho]], [[Camp Gay|the Capitalist Queer]], the Ghetto Capitalist, DarkRazorZ, Equestrian Citizen, Tri$ha, NavyHusky, The Internet Buttstalker, and many more.
* [[Slash Fic]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSzND65vhvM This].
* [[Small Name, Big Ego]]: Ghost has been this for a while, but it shows the most on the episode on 8/29/11. He actually believes that he is more significant to pop culture than 4chan, and says that he's making a mask for Ghost, and actually thinks it's going to overshadow the [[V for Vendetta|Guy Fawkes mask]].
** He repeatedly claims that he is "listened to by tens of thousands of capitalists THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!!"
** On 12/12/11, he actually states the possibility of a Ghostcon and said he had a band who "will be at the Grammies."
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* [[Some of My Best Friends Are X]]: "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who happen to be black"
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbP9rm-abOk&feature=related Some of his best friends are] [[Hypocritical Humour|Wops and Camel Jockeys]].
* [[Spin
** In September 2011, the usual trolls started targeting Goofy_Bone's show too. Despite trying to defend himself, he ended up caving in and doing his own version of Radio Graffiti. This continued over a slight hiatus Ghost had, but when he was alerted to this, he, predictably, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgrmf3JlsM4 called Goofy out and went off about it], as usual. He dubbed it a "poor man's Mexican version" and a "[[You Keep Using That Word|bean and cheese]]" version of his own show.
** Then in response, Goofy re-named it [[Take That|Bean and Cheese Graffiti]]
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* [[Troll|Trolls]]: They come. They try to make him look like a fool. He fires back by claiming they're wholly responsible for America's bad economy.
** There are also those [[Alternative Character Interpretation|who believe]] Ghost himself is a troll masquerading as a radio host.
* [["The Reason You Suck" Speech]]: Ghost loves delivering one to any caller he doesn't like that he feels he can make a broad, sweeping generalization about based on their voice, namely anyone he thinks sounds even a hair less masculine than he is (which he'll then assume is a fat [[Basement Dweller]] who wastes their time watching ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Animation)|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]]'' and/or effeminate male with [[Your Mom|bad parents]].)
** Ghost gets his fair share of these too, though they're usually in song form. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8lPG5MmPbI&context=C249ebADOEgsToPDskKWvDfS5CXHLPDdKCpxzLgn This one] is probably one of the greatest ones.
** Goofy Bone also received a well deserved one at the hands of Ghetto Capitalist.
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* [[Troubling Unchildlike Behavior]]: Regular caller Asho smoked weed and looks at pornography, knowing that his mom is elsewhere hitting on strangers.
* [[The Unintelligible]]: Engineer and the Guru.
* [["The Villain Sucks" Song]]: "Well [[Precision F
** In a way, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH7lXcUvgwY Melting Pot of Alcohol] is one.
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxurtdJD2eg Angry Racist Jewish Hambone]. Just listen to the lyrics!
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* [[Unexplained Recovery]]: Senator Pooptickler.
* [[Unknown Rival]]: ALEX JONES IS RUINING AMERICA ''*cans.wav*''
* [[Unstoppable Rage]]: Especially prevalent when his show was called True Conservative Radio. He'd start yelling for about a few minutes over anything. Whether it was bad parents, a [[Troll]] or over anything, he'd start yelling at the [[Hair
* [[Villainous Breakdown]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URv-elUk0MQ Tons] of 'em.
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr4erBxQ-Og&feature=feedf This] might be his biggest one
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* [[Wham Episode]]: January 30th and 31st, 2012.
** [[Cerebus Syndrome]]: Things got ''serious'' for a show revolving around some gleeful trolls and an over-the-top Texan.
** [[Enemy Mine]]: Ghost's [[Pre
** [[Reset Button]]: Pressed with much delight by the fandom toward the end of the day; [[We Want Our Jerk Back|Ghost ended up not quitting after all.]]
** [[The Reveal]]: Celticbrony as [[The Chessmaster]] ([[Villains Never Lie|maybe]])
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** [[Wham Line]]: "The end is near. February will be my last month."
** [[You Have Outlived Your Usefulness]]: Many of the major trolls were doxed or otherwise put out of commission by Ghost and Celticbrony.
* [[What Do You Mean
* [[Why
* [[The Wiki Rule]]: [http://truecapitalist.wikia.com True Capitalist Wiki] on Wikia.
* [[Worthy Opponent]]: Tzeki.
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