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{{quote|''"[[Can't Get Away With Nuthin'|No, you]] ''are'' [[Can't Have Sex Ever|a fool]]. But you're my favorite one..."''|Laurie (to Candi)}}
 
The Ciem webcomic series is a dramatic [[Pastiche]] [http://www.comixpedia.org/index.php?title=DSHW DSHW] [[Machinomics|Machinomic]] from Dozerfleet Productions, which specializes in playing around with various comic book and drama tropes whilst simultaneously showing off the storyboard capabilities of mixing Photoshop with ''[[The Sims|The Sims 2]]''. The series features the misadventures of the titular Candice "Candi" Marie "Stevens" Flippo-Levens-McArthur / Ciem, a teenage girl in 2019 who finds out that Phaelite aliens mutated her father while he was a baby, which allows her to have centipede powers. From there, she realizes that she is supposed to help her [[Big Screwed -Up Family]] battle their archnemeses: The [[Fantastic Racism|genocidal]] Hebbleskin Gang, made up of Meethlite aliens.
 
[[Resigned to The Call|Willing to go along with it]], albeit on her own terms, she tries to also get into college and manage her love life. Cue [[Doom Magnet|several loved ones being killed left and right]], several [[Apocalypse How|averted apocalypses]], and even a few pseudo-governmental [[Ancient Conspiracy|conspiracies]] [[Off With His Head|to turn her and her sisters into Duke Arfaas' trophies]], and the [[Determined Widow]] becomes more determined than ever to [[Acceptable Feminine Goals|finally settle down]]. In the meantime, she struggles with doubt, compromise, fear, lack of self-confidence, guilt, [[Wangst]], [[All Women Are Lustful|lust]], her boyfriend's health problems, and [[I Just Want to Be Normal|how to help Botan the Plant-Man get his wish]].
 
The trilogy initially began as an [[Affectionate Parody]] of the Spider-Man [[Spider-Man (Film)|film series]], and was a [[Spin -Off]] of an obscure comic called ''The Battle for Gerosha'', before becoming an entity all unto itself. Due to its heavy reliance on [[The Sims]] and related [[Game Mod|Game Mods]] as rendering tools, several tropes from that game are played with and repurposed rather freely.
 
In spite of coming out around the same time as Starline Hodge's much more popular ''[[Candi]]'', the two have nothing to do with each other, [[Strange Minds Think Alike|in spite of some]] [http://dozerfleetwiki2.wiki-site.com/index.php/Candi_Levens_vs._Starline%27s_Candi remarkable similarities].
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[[File:CiemWebCDCover.jpg|frame]]
Serving as an origin story, ''Ciem'' tells the origins of Candi Levens, an [[Stringy Haired Ghost Girl|onyro-haired]] teenage hermit and amateur crimefighter who was born with centipede-themed superpowers and several venomous tentacles ([[Reconstruction|reduced in size to glorified stingers in later versions]]) that hide inside her arms and legs, called her "centilegs." She is revealed to have a boyfriend, a nearing-retirement superhero named Donte McArthur/Emeraldon. Her sisters reveal to her that her family is more [[Big Screwed -Up Family|dysfunctional]] than she originally cared to know.
 
One afternoon, Candi decides to show up late for a party that her hacker sister Miriam is going to, so she can practice her [[Waif Fu|centi-fu]] fighting skills and say goodbye to her boyfriend before he goes off to war <s> on an alien planet</s>. She doesn't detain him as long as she would've liked to. But as soon as he leaves, she ends up in a fight to the death with a [[Not Brainwashed]] ex-boyfriend from her grade school years, who is working for the genocidal Hebbleskin Gang. She learns that this Meethlite alien gang, led by Duke Arfaas, wants her and her sisters' heads as trophies, in an effort to fight back against an oracle in which a "Gifted One" of the "[[Prophecy Twist|li Po]]" would destroy Arfaas' last remaining monsters, signifying the end of the Hebbleskin Gang.
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Arfaas and his gang finally decide that their target, the Gifted Flippo, is hiding somewhere in plain sight. Having taken control of the Dirbine Police, they decide to send a monster to do everyone else's dirty work, but have trouble finding the perfect take. They eventually create a metallic shrew costume, complete with an evil AI that will turn the wearer into a [[Brainwashed]] killing machine servant. This leads to them abducting Jeraime Malestrom, and turning him into their cyborg's glorified beating heart.
 
After failing to help an alien experimentation victim named Jeral Cormier, Candi decides to give Denny a chance at dating her. However, the fact that she does so, and the fact that she attends Viron University, [[My Girl Is Not a Slut|led some townsfolk to assume the worst about her]]. Old enemies begin haunting Candi as visions when she cannot overcome her newfound bad reputation. This culminates in Denny barely surviving an attempt on his life [[ItsIt's Personal|by one of the very same Meethlites]] that murdered Erin, which causes Candi [[Moral Event Horizon|to feel little sympathy]] when that Meethlite <s> blows himself up</s> dies after losing in battle.
 
Not sure what else to do, Candi and Denny decide to get married. [[Can't Have Sex Ever|Big mistake]]! Candi soon learns that after about a month of being pregnant, she's been effectively [[Brought Down to Normal]] enough to be unable to protect her new Muggle husband. [[Doom Magnet|And that's when Musaran's killing spree escalates]]! After several more Musaran-related murders leads to both Denny and Angie (Candi's daughter) dying, Candi decides she's had enough, and [[Took a Level In Badass|takes several levels in badass]] to become an orange-suited freedom fighter.
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By ''Ciem 3'', Candi and Donte are happily married. They aren't as rich as they used to be, but at least things are looking up. Candi is now done with her schooling at Viron University. The couple is planning to move to Kentucky eventually. They finally have two children, Charlie (adopted) and Frank (the result of their indiscretions in ''Ciem 2''.) Candi has taken up a job at a bar since Donte still can't find work. Ciem is popular with the public. Duke Arfaas' death has recently become public knowledge.
 
[[It Got Worse|That's when things get ugly]]. Several of Candi's surviving old enemies band together to seek the ultimate vengeance against her. A ninja named Kimiyato "Milp" Hiriyama tries unsuccessfully to frame Candi for child abuse, and then goes [[One -Winged Angel]] on Dirbine after Candi is captured by the same ex-government conspirator that originally made life so difficult for Miriam. Having risen through the Meethlite ranks quickly, the insane Lloyd Kolumn traps Candi and several other Supers in a dungeon the Meethlites built along the California coastline. Candi is sentenced to death by beheading, and forced to wait a week and a half to march to her own death. A bracelet she is forced to wear lies to her body and tells her she is pregnant, so her body stops having powers that work consistently. Reluctantly resigned to her fate, she begins assuming a motherly role to her more traumatized cell mates, who are sentenced to be drowned when the facility is to be deliberately flooded on Candi's assigned execution date.
 
Ploribus, out of youth formula and [[Don't Fear the Reaper|fearing the Reaper]], decides to to nothing. [[Screw Destiny|Dolly]] gets fed up with this, and steals a suit from Ploribus that was in-turn stolen from the Meethlites. She uses it to become The Earwig, and do the jobs that nobody else seems willing to: 1) Rescue Candi and 2) fight Candi's enemies in Candi's absence. It soon becomes obvious to Dolly, however, that her new suit's helmet is slowly driving her insane with its [[Ax Crazy]] proclivities. She resolves to use its power to rescue Candi [[Cybernetics Will Eat Your Soul|before she loses her soul to it]].
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*** This doesn't make Miriam feel any better when Phil commits suicide.
* [[Always Chaotic Evil]]: Most monsters created by the Hebbleskin Gang.
* [[And Your Little Dog, Too]]: A history of having been near-raped by Don? Whatever. Candi can handle that. Being tossed into a burning building by Don? Fine. Why not be killed by the man that nearly defiled her once before? But when Don threatens to rape ''[[Twin Threesome Fantasy|Miriam]]'', Candi [[Big Brother Instinct|snaps]].
* [[Bullet Time]]
* [[Spider Sense|Centuition]]: Depicted as a "phantom screaming" in Candi's ears.
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* [[Deadly Dodging]] / [[Gun Kata]]
* [[The Dragon]]: Musaran in the first story. Capp Aard in the second. In the third, Milp starts out as one for Kolumn, before rebelling and [[Villain Ball|stealing the title]] of [[Big Bad]]. At this point, Botan becomes her "dragon." Several [[Quirky Miniboss Squad|lesser dragons]], such as Lobe, are also in the third one.
* [[Dropped a Bridge On Him]]: Denny Levens, though it was more like the foot of a giant, metallic shrew. {{spoiler|[[There Is No Kill Like Overkill|Followed by]] a [[Action Bomb|suicide bomber]].}} Later, various other characters meet with a [[Family -Unfriendly Death]].
* [[Expository Hairstyle Change]]: [[Exaggerated Trope|Taken to extremes]] in ''Ciem 1'', where Candi alternates amongst 8 different hairstyles across 32 chapters (averaging a new style every four.) Granted, a few of these are just dye jobs, but that still makes for about 4 or 5 actual styles. [[Justified Trope|Partially justified]] in that she's trying to hide from [[Fantastic Racism|genocidal]] [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot|alien gangsters]], and by the fact that the story covers over 2 years'-worth of her life. Also understandable, as it's a [[Machinomics|DSHW machinomic]] made with ''[[The Sims|The Sims 2]]'', which practically ''encourages'' players to toy around with hairstyles.
** ''Ciem 2'' both plays this straight and subverts it. Candi has only one ''official'' hairstyle change; from her Maxis-default mesh, [[So Last Season|end-of-first-story red hair]]; to her messier-looking custom mesh hairstyle. This [[Important Haircut|indicates]] [[What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic|not only]] her continued loss of innocence between parts 1 and 2, but [[Out, Damned Spot!|her frustrations]] with [[My Girl Is Not a Slut|trying to hide/prevent it]].
*** One subversion: The undercover hairdo on chapter 2 page 7 is really a wig; so it doesn't count.
*** Another: Alternate hairstyles she has in her dreams don't really count, her mind [[Your Mind Makes It Real|just makes her think her hair has changed to that style]] so she fits in better with whichever setting the dream takes place in.
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* [[Named After Somebody Famous]] / [[Shout Out]]: Dolly Malestrom is named after [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep) Dolly the Cloned Sheep]. Her future son will be named ''Gunther''.
** In the Fox animated series ''[[Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego]]''?, one of the villains is named ''Gunnar Maelstrom''.
* [[Oh Crap]]: Nearly [[Can't Get Away With Nuthin'|everyone has this feeling at least once]].
* [[Off With His Head|Off With Her Head]]: What Arfaas and the Hebbleskin Gang are obsessed with doing to all of Shalia's daughters. He wants her sons to be [[Gorn|disemboweled]], but Reily is a low priority.
* [[Our Ghosts Are Different]]: Details under the Trivia page.
* [[Out, Damned Spot!]]: Candi can't get over her guilt over Erin's death, Don's death, Denny's death, [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|losing her virginity to Denny instead of Donte]], or any number of other things; for many years. Frustration leads her to sometimes alleviate her feelings of shame and responsibility in ways that just make her feel even more guilty.
* [[Reed Richards Is Useless|Ploribus Philippine is Useless]]: Well, except when reclaiming a city in a fantastic takeover. Otherwise, he can be an [[The Ghost|invisible jerk]].
* [[Reflective Eyes]]: The Ciem mask.
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** Candi and Donte's wedding in the sequel isn't a shotgun wedding in the commonly-understood sense, since Candi doesn't confirm she is pregnant until ''after'' she and Donte have adopted Charlie, ''after'' the wedding.
* [[Split Personality Takeover]]: Musaran again, as well as Henry Malestrom/Musaran II. Later happens to Simon Aardvonius/Capp Aard, and to Dolly/Earwig in part three.
* [[Star -Crossed Lovers]]: Candi and Donte. They get together once; and he becomes a prisoner of war. They get back together, and he develops cancer. They get married; and there is danger at nearly every turn. {{spoiler|Then, she finally dies.}} Yes, they got together, but [[Doom Magnet|it wasn't easy]].
* [[Superpower Lottery]]: Candi, Miriam, and Marina, in spite looking like identical triplets, are actually fraternal. Candi's egg from Shalia was the "lucky one," that accepted the centipede genetics that were infused into Stan's DNA. The result is that the centipede-tainted sperm finally produced a successful Centhuen Prototype that could span more. The other Flippo children all remain [[Muggles|normal human beings]].
* [[Thriving Ghost Town]]: In spite being fairly well-populated, the Dirbine area seems very sparsely physically occupied in areas were denser populations seem more logical.
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** Edited out of the Mod The Sims Social syndicated version, mostly to avoid starting a [[Flame War]] over any [[Unfortunate Implications]] that may have arisen.* [[Cheap Costume]]: Candi goes through a few versions of very cheap Ciem costumes (and even cheaper names!) before inheriting the second half of her fortune {{spoiler|[[Deus Ex Machina|from a conveniently-placed dead godfather]].}}
* [[Clark Kenting]]: When Candi pretends her last name is ''Stevens'', her haircut and fake glasses are the only things that obscure her identity as Candi ''Flippo''. {{spoiler|It doesn't fool Denny.}}
** Yet, as she learns over the course of a year, Meethlite intelligence [[Plot Induced Stupidity|is flawed enough]] that the only thing she really needs to do [[Paper -Thin Disguise|is change her name, period]]!
*** (Cue extra reason to get married!)
* [[Depraved Bisexual]]: Poison Dart Eddie
* [[Lightning Can Do Anything|Exploding Computer Monitors Can Do Anything]]
* [[Fetus Terrible]]: Subverted in Angie. She takes away her mother's powers and nearly gets her killed by Botan the Plant-Man, but also frees her mother from the psychoitc Kimiyato Hiriyama's Psychic Link. She even saves Candi's life, [[Heroic Sacrifice|but at the expense of her own]]. And does most of this before she is even born!
* [[Flowers for Algernon Syndrome]]: Musaran made Jeraime very powerful, but also [[With Great Power Comes Great Insanity|psychotic]]. Jeraime was only freed from Musaran's control [[Blind Without 'Em|at the cost of his eyesight]]. Yet, he is just thankful to be alive and have his wife Dolly back.
* [[Foe Yay]]: Kimi's taunting of Candi in chapter 15 of story 1 [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|may seem a bit like]] [[Three Hundred|Xerxes trying to demoralize Leonidas]].
* [[From a Certain Point of View]]: What Donte tells Merle to protect Candi's secret identity. [[Swiss Cheese Security|How she was able]] to fool security is another matter.
** Suffice to say, she needs a far more elaborate plot to escape in the book, as no [[Real Life]] modern police station would build the city jail to look like a medieval dungeon.
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* [[Kryptonite Is Everywhere]]: Subverted. Bezeetol fuel is running low in production as it's expensive and Meethlite technology is evolving away from it. Yet, the villlains seem to find just enough of it lying around for Don the Psycho and Jeff the Invisible to attempt using it on the exact same heroes - in the exact same building!
* [[Les Collaborateurs]]: Merle Hourvitz and his police are Hebbleskin Gang [[Mooks|pawns]].
* [[Magical Abortion]]: Sort of. Angie is born live, but dies a few hours later while battling Kimiyato's evil powers [[The Power of Love|and destroying them]]. This leads to [[ItsIt's Personal|a very pissed off]] Kimi, who vows revenge on Candi.
* [[Marquee Alter Ego]]: Candi spends most of the story (the first 23 chapters) without her iconic costume. Even after getting it, she only spends five of the remaining chapters in it at any point in time. It gets a little more use in the sequels, where the suit is now able to be worn in pieces [[So Last Season|instead of all at once]].
** Thankfully, her official costume is only [[No Holds Barred Beatdown|completely destroyed]] in the third story.
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* [[Promotion to Parent]]: Erin Flippo, the oldest of the Flippo sisters.
* [[Real Life Writes the Plot]]: Some rushed production on later chapters was due to the writer having to make more time for school-related projects. Also, Denny's problems with the debit card thief-turned-suicide bomber Kelsea Linney were based on the author's [[Real Life]] problems with a [[Character Exaggeration|not-quite]][[Historical Villain Upgrade|-as-psychotic]] hairstylist. (No, not ''[[Sweeney Todd|that one]]''!)
* [[Real Person Cameo]]: Kelsea Linney ([[Lawyer -Friendly Cameo|though her face is never shown]],) Merdie Dolon, Niles Beldon, Amelia Kayne, Yuri Krennt, Kathy Rittney, Dhalia Lorrice, Laurie Pegol, and Stella Oggles are all based on either Internet forum users or Ferris State students/faculty that the author knew between the years of 2004-2007. Of these, only Laurie Pegol is ever seen in the sequel.
* [[Replacement Love Interest]]: What Denny tries to be in Candi's life when they both believe Donte is dead. Becomes one more source of regret [[Despair Event Horizon|threatening to drive Candi insane]] when Denny dies.
** Jack [[Comforting the Widow|attempts to be this]] in the book. Candi decides her feelings for Donte are so genuine, that Jack should accept what he got from her as little more than a one night's stand. (And considering her frame of mind at the time, it almost counts as rape.) She does help him find another girl, so he takes her rejection of him surprisingly well.
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* [[Redemption Equals Death]]: In an abstract sense, Miriam's Sniperbadger persona had to be hijacked and destroyed before Miriam could set her life straight. Played with in a particularly cruel manner in which, for her to find redemption for having gotten involved with a porn site, the site's webmaster ends up being the one who dies!
* [[Take That]] / [[Big Lipped Alligator Moment]]: Chapter 5 is a gruelingly [[Satire Parody Pastiche|satirical parody]] of ''[[Titanic]]''.
{{quote| Denny: "Wahoo! Call me a viceroy, [[Pirates of the Caribbean|Jones]]! [[Bad News, Irrelevant News|It's the end of your world; but I fixed the ship's engine!]] [[Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?|And I'm STILL not a greasemonkey!]]"}}
* [[Yellow Peril]]: Subverted. Black Rat, Tin Dragon, and Stung Hornet turn out to be [[Anti -Villain|not such bad fellows]] after all. And [[My Friends and Zoidberg|Teal Hog]], for some reason, [[Minion With an F In Evil|can't even figure out that he's a designated villain]].
 
----
=== Unique to ''Ciem 3'': ===
* [[The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything|The Alien Hero Who Won't Do Anything]]: Ploribus. Played straight at first, but then subverted when he tries to battle Milp's Milliblob form with his [[Humongous Mecha]]. [[Senseless Sacrifice|And fails to make much difference]]. (Although, by [[Spanner in The Works|sheer luck]], he did injure her, making it easier {{spoiler|for Botan to kill her off}}.)
* [[Ax Crazy]]: What the AI backvisors are turning Dolly and Henry into, because [[Cybernetics Will Eat Your Soul]]. But truth be told, nearly every [[Villain]] and [[Anti -Hero]] seems to be going through a phase of this.
* [[Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass]]: Dolly, again
* [[Dark Action Girl]]: Dolly/Earwig and Kimi/Milp
* [[The Sixth Ranger]]: Dolly
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