Misapplied Phlebotinum: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

 

 

{{quote|''"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."''|'''Andy Rooney'''}}

 

 

Common victims of Misapplication include:

** It's actually harder to conceive an FTL system that '''can't''' also double as a [[Weapon of Mass Destruction]] than it is to conceive one that can. And that's not even getting into the fact that, because of the way relativity works, FTL travel is logically equivalent to [[Time Travel]]...

* '''[[Teleporters and Transporters]]:'''

* In ''[[The Matrix]]'' sequels, Neo never seems to use the full extent of his powers. In the first film, it's implied that he has transcended the laws of the Matrix, and can now just about anything he wants while inside. When Smith attacks him, he just tears apart his code. In films two and three, he shows some super-powers, like being able to fly and stop bullets, but he's still punching his enemies and worrying about getting punched.

** A possible explanation is that the Matrix in the second and third movie is reloaded (i.e. a new version) and that the upgrade reduced Neo's powers. This is supported by the first time in Matrix: Reloaded that Neo fights a group of Agents. They prove to be (slightly) more of a challenge than he remembers, and he sarcastically remarks: "Hmm... upgrades."

* ''[[Star Wars]]'': The battle droids' artificial intelligence. We've been trying for decades to create artificial intelligence so that robots can adapt quickly to changing situations. In ''[[Star Wars]]'', artificial intelligence is used to give robots human-like reaction times and indecisiveness, turning a killer robot army into comic relief.

** The [[Rifftrax]] notes this, marveling at the droids "artificial lack of intelligence."

* ''[[Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs]]'' has an inventor who typifies this trope. One could think up a thousand uses for a bulletproof, waterproof, fireproof, spray on coating other than "spray on shoes". And consider that his "food creation machine" converts ordinary H2O into complex organic food molecules (which means it could convert them into darn near any other material, organic or inorganic)--- and apparently runs off the residual energy left over from the process. A combination ''replicator and fusion generator''...

** The coating's potential is partially realized at the end of the movie.

** It ''could'' be that the transporter could only work if one knows the specifics of the destination, and one of the fundamental aspects of ''Star Trek'' is exploration, wherein [[Captain Obvious|the destination is not always known]].

** This method of transport also seemed less accurate than the usual teleportation as Scotty ended up in the water filtration system and nearly got diced by it before Kirk saved him.

** The company that designed it was planning to do all that; the story takes place in the proof-of-concept testing phase, and the heroes murder the inventor before he can do any of it.

** Wait, it actually [[It Got Worse|gets worse]]: What was the first revolutionary, world changing application they thought for said historical research? A Theme Park. Yeah. They just dropped the idea because [[Reality Is Unrealistic]] (I.E. nobody wants to see George Washington puking on the crossing of the Delaware)

* "[[The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy|Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me if I can pick up that piece of paper ...]]"

* Averted hard in [[Larry Niven]]'s ''[[Known Space]]'' setting. Thanks to ubiquitous and cheap teleporters, Earth's population becomes almost entirely homogeneous.

* Aversion: in the Teleporter section of the main article, there's a mention of the potential use of this for backing yourself up/making multiple copies of yourself. The [[Charles Stross]] book ''Glasshouse'' did both; they massively affect society, and form major plot points. For example, changing genders is common thanks to the 'reconstruct' part (making gender nouns rather confusing); 'orthohuman' (standard ''H sapiens'' shape) and 'xenohuman' (with massive bodily alterations) are normal descriptions; lethal duels are equally common so long as the participants 'saved' recently; the combination of disintegration/reconstruction transport 'gates' with memory-wipe technology resulted in ''memory censor viruses'' which affect anyone who uses the gate, one of which managed to pretty much wipe the reason for a whole ''war'' from history; and a major plotpoint involves the main character {{spoiler|being knocked out by a copy of ''himself'' (well, he's physically female at the time, but he seems to identify as male for the most part), thanks to the 'original' being brainwashed with one of those memory worms.}}

* Charles Stross's [[The Merchant Princes Series]] [[Playing With a Trope|plays with]] this trope. Members of the Clan have the ability to teleport between [[All the Myriad Ways|alternate timelines]], along with whatever they can carry. They use it to get rich in modern America by smuggling drugs through a world with a feudal culture that lacks a DEA, and in that feudal culture they use their ability to get rich by bringing in modern innovations like penicillin and automatic guns. Compared to many examples on this page, that's a very smart application of the phlebotinum, compared to robbing banks, using [[Green Lantern Ring]] superpowers just for fighting, or using dinosaurs as the main attraction in an amusement park. However, after a modern business journalist learns about the system she quickly points out that mercantilism is a very old-fashioned, zero-sum economic theory and there are much better things the Clan could be doing with their time, like [[Giving Radio to The Romans]].

* In ''The Wonderful Life of Henry Sugar'', the titular Henry Sugar finds a book that gives a first-hand account of how a doctor met a man who mastered an ancient technique that allowed him to see without eyes and to also see through various thin objects, like playing cards. Subverted by the doctor, who wanted to find a way to use the technique to help people with disabilities like blindness be able to live normal lives, but played straight by Henry, who picks up the technique to win in casinos. He later subverts it himself, when he has an is bored and rich and decides to dedicate his life to winning money and donating it to various orphanages and charities.

 

== Live Action TV ==

* ''Sabrina The Teenage Witch'': Sabrina is allowed access to a crystal ball that can answer any question. Her first question was, [[Misapplied Phlebotinum|oddly enough]], "What if Kenan and Kel won the lottery?". We then see a short segment of the two losing the ticket and coming to the conclusion that is was inside a sandwich that Kel just took a bite out of.

** Another case is the holodeck. One may assume there are people who have taken to just living permanent lives of leisure in a holodeck, but again, they aren't shown on-screen because that would be boring. Recurring character Reginald Barclay's ongoing struggle with "holo-addiction" points out why you don't want that sort of thing going on when you're supposed to be busy exploring the galaxy and [[Boldly Coming|making friends with aliens]].

** The Vidiians in ''[[Star Trek Voyager]]'' have some of the most ridiculously advanced medical technology ''ever''. They are also afflicted with a disease that devours their organs one by one, and which for reasons that are never explained adapts too quickly for them to cure. They use their hyperadvanced medicine to murder people and steal their organs. In "Faces", it's definitively established that they can create clones through transporter technology. Given an IQ higher than seven, they could use this to produce organ-harvest clones, which may be something of an ethical minefield but has to be miles ahead of ''murdering people and stealing their organs''. Mind you, Voyager is no stranger to this trope; in "Prime Factors", the Sikarians have a teleporter that can reach planets ''forty thousand light years'' distant, which they use exactly once in the episode - to allow one of them to go on a romantic walk with Harry Kim. <ref>Naturally, because [[Failure Is the Only Option]], it's incompatible with Federation technology so that the cast can't apply it in a way that actually makes sense.</ref>

* ''[[Steambot Chronicles]]'': The Killer Elephants have a large organization with extensive industrial production, able to mass-produce the mecha they use, and even a giant mecha. What do they do with all these resources? They rob passing travelers. True, they're just trying to get funding for their true project, {{spoiler|flying to the moon}}, but with a setup like theirs, they really should be doing something more profitable.

* ''[[Portal (Video Game)|Portal]]'': Aperture Science, the company behind the insanity at the heart of the plot, is almost entirely built on this trope.

** GLaDOS, a fully sentient AI, was originally designed as a ''fuel line de-icer''. She was also designed in apparent ignorance of the [[Three Laws Compliant|Three Laws]], as shortly after she was turned on, she found a way to murder nearly every scientist in the facility.

* ''[[Portal 2 (Video Game)|Portal 2]]'' reveals that most of Aperture Science's products fall into this trope:

* The eponymous object in ''[[Erikas New Perfume|Erika's New Perfume]]'' never really does more but take up space in Erika's bedroom after Sarah uses it, despite having at least two of its three demonstrated functions with a definite audience for them and having even more [[All There in the Manual]]. This might partially be because the characters themselves don't ''have'' the manual, though.

* [[Cracked]]'s [http://www.cracked.com/article/138_6-magical-movie-items-they-wasted-bullshit/ 6 Magical Movie Items They Wasted on Bullshit].

* ''[[Sailor Nothing]]'' author Stephan Gagne's ''[http://www.pixelscapes.com/unrealestate/ Unreal Estate]'' is set [[In a World]] where technology that allows pocket universes to be created to order is ubiquitous. It's mostly used to create a few [[Planet of Hats|Worlds of Hats]] -- the most unusual world is the [[First-Person Shooter]] world that automatically respawns "players" after lethal wounds. {{spoiler|The [[Big Bad]] reveals that he has a Vision about using the technology to its full potential, and [[You Can't Make an Omelette]]...}}

* Averted in [[The Salvation War]]. When the [[Legions of Hell]] invade Earth, they start out with Bronze Age tactics and technology, but that proves [[Curb Stomp Battle|inadequate]]. They quickly adapt by using their portal-making abilities for [[Fantastic Nuke|Fantastic Nukes]]. After the war, they use their portal creating abilities to put FedEx out of business.

* Any one who actually has psychic powers could make tons of cash at Las Vegas instead of appearing on talk shows. As Jay Leno once said, "Why do you never see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?" Answer: Because when a psychic wins, he doesn't tell he's psychic. 'Cause, you know, some people might dare accuse him of cheating.

** This is actually [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshaded]] in the Nicolas Cage film ''Next''. Also justified since the psychic in question knows he's being hunted down by the government and thus keeps his wins small to avoid attracting attention.

** In case you haven't heard, Casinos tend to kick anyone who starts winning too much out the door, and blacklisting them across town. Because no one said they have to play fair.

*** In many places, the government says they have to play fair. However, in many of these places, nobody says the casino has to ''play''. (That is, they have the right to refuse service.)

* The Computer, a machine capable of performing incredibly complex arithmetic and decision logic, primarily sees use doing a workless infinite loop and managing resources that may one day be used. Even in the case of people who actually use computers for things, most of the time it's the same old boring stuff over and over again. They want to do their accounts, or write a letter, when the machine may be capable of creating sapient or sentient thought, or just comparing your personal data to millions of other people and trying to figure out what kind of beer you'd want.

** And [[The Internet Is for Porn|porn.]] Can't forget the porn.

** [[It Gets Worse]]. The Brain, the most marvelous organ in your body, capable of incredible feats of complex movement coordination, communication, image and sound analysis, and decision-making, primarily sees use reading [[TV Tropes]].

*** [[Running Gag|And porn. Can't forget the porn.]]

** The problem is "sufficiently fine control" and the limits of human intelligence and processing power/speed. Without sufficient control, you wouldn't be able to manipulate things that small. And even with it, you have to consider just ''how many'' such things you'd have to manipulate to get any results. Converting just one gram of hydrogen would require you to manipulate 6 x 10^23 protons, individually, not to mention that screwing around with the nuclei would have you constantly fighting the strong and weak nuclear forces so as not to trigger uncontrolled nuclear fission or fusion. So there's a reason you don't see anyone aside from Dr. Manhattan doing something of this sort: because for anyone who doesn't have a brain capable of rendering supercomputers obsolete, it's a futile task.

** You don't even need to go to the molecular level: simply being able of manipulating microcomponents of complex machinery without having to completely disarm or disassemble the device could signify billions saved in maintenance and working time. Not to mention extreme cases, as repairing an airplane mid-air...

** While its not unsafe, it was approved by the FDA but with a warning label that serverely detracted from its appeal. Because it can't be digested by the body it tends to come out the way it went in - as an oil. The idea was abandoned when marketers realized that the potential threat of anal leakage was more of a deterant than the benefit of eliminating fat from your diet. You can read more about it on the other wiki, or on [http://www.cracked.com/article_17412_6-world-changing-inventions-that-didnt-change-shit.html Cracked.com].

** There's also the fact that you can't magically de-fat existing foods very easily just to replace it with fake fat, and that carbohydrates have plenty to do with obesity as well as the body can easily turn them into fat.

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Applied Phlebotinum]]