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* [[Artificial Human]]: Claims to have been synthesized from soil and meat. [[Unreliable Narrator|But then, he would]].
* [[Badass]]
* {{spoiler|[[Bishonen]]: After contracting Nomura Syndrom by getting bitten by [[Nie R
* [[Bruiser
* [[Carpet of Virility]]
* [[Colonel Badass]]
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* [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"|Everyone Calls Him Commander]]
* [[Four-Fingered Hands]]: Only in [http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/images/commanderbadass.jpg this old concept art]. In the actual comic, he has five-fingered hands.
* [[Funetik Aksent]]: Tends ta speak kinda informally, yanno? [[Word of God|Coelasquid]] suggests that his voice sounds a bit like [[John Dimaggio]] as [[Futurama
* [[Hero Worshipper]]: Of [[Marlon Brando]], in a very literal sense. Evidently the Bran-Dao is a popular religion among macho spacefuture types.
* [[Lantern Jaw of Justice]]
* [[Man in
** [[Going Commando]]: At least when he wears the kilt.
* [[My Future Self and Me]]: The Commander does this -- and kicks his own ass -- in order to impress Jonesy.
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** [http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/548 This] is him after "a couple days of not shaving".
* [[Pet the Dog]]: States that he doesn't try to toughen up Jared since he thinks that his head is probably one of the most [[Cloudcuckoolander|"bizarre an' interesting places anyone could live"]] and would rather not take that away from him.
* [[Real Men Wear Pink]]: Or at least have passionate discussions about ''[[Jem
* [[Super Soldier]]
* [[Triangle Shades]]: His goggles become [[Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
=== Sarah "Jonesy" Jones ===
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{{quote| ''"Now I understand why my mother told me to never eat $500 of Gummi Worms."''}}
A disgraced [[
'''Tropes:'''
* [[A Boy and His X]]: A boy and his Gyarados.
* [[Badass
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]
* [[Geek]]
* [[Idiot Savant]]: [[Word of God|Coelasquid]] has confirmed that Jared is this when it comes to [[
** When properly motivated, he manages to catch a large number of Magnemite and Magneton by himself, offscreen. [[Up to Eleven|Without any Poke-Balls]]. It's very [http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/940 impressive].
* [[Kid
* [[Nice Hat]]
* [[No Sense of Personal Space]]
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== Prominent Characters from Other Works ==
=== Mr. Fish ===
A [[Pokémon
'''Tropes:'''
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* {{spoiler|[[Wave Motion Gun]]: He recently learned Hyper Beam.}}
=== [[Dragon Age
A stoic qunari warrior often teased for his love of cookies. Might be a big fan of [[
'''Tropes:'''
* [[Boring but Practical]]: Asala is actually a balanced sword, unlike the [[BFS|BFSes]] used by [[Final Fantasy
* [[Flanderization]] / [[Never Live It Down]]: Discussed. He's getting ''really'' tired of everyone thinking he's all about the baked goods.
* [[Perpetual Frowner]]
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* [[The Stoic]]
=== [[God of War (
A sullen, violent Spartan who isn't adjusting well to civilian life. Has no trouble getting dates, though.
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* [[Butt Monkey]]: Often the butt of [[Testosterone Poisoning]] jokes.
* [[Chick Magnet]]
* [[Faux Yay]]: Once played Gay Chicken with ''[[300
* [[Perpetual Frowner]]
=== [[
A loudmouthed action hero with hidden insecurities and, apparently, a life-size ''[[Alien]]'' maquette in his living room.
'''Tropes:'''
* [[Closet Geek]]: Turns out all those ''[[Evil Dead
* [[Jerkass]]
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