Splash/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Allen and Freddie are ushers at a wedding. Some of the guests ask Allen where his girlfriend Victoria is (Allen's ex-girlfriend) and he tells them that she's sick and couldn't make it. When another guest simply greets Allen, Allen goes ballistic and angrily blurts out that she left him and that his "life is in shambles." Freddie then reminds Allen:

"You should really lighten up on the guy. That's the bride's brother."

  • After Madison accepts Allen's marriage proposal, you can tell how overly happy he is:

"Listen, you are going to love being married to me! I was born to be married! I just so happen I come from a long line of married people! My mom and dad, they were married! Their moms and dads, they were married too!"

  • When Allen is swarmed by a group of reporters to interview him about Madison, Freddie intervenes to get him out of the situation:

Freddie: Is anyone here from Penthouse magazine?
Reporters: No.
Freddie: Then we ain't talkin'!

  • Freddie picked up some Swedish from porno films.

"Hey, babe! I got a twelve inch penis."

  • Madison smashing all of the TVs with her voice!

Allen: Hey, how about those Knicks...

  • Freddie being found fishing in the water tank by the scientists.

"Hiya boys! Come on in, the water's fine!"

  • Madison finds her way to New York City, and the first place she visits happens to be the Statue of Liberty...

Tour Guide: Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. The Statue is a gift from French citizens and has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. (Double take) BOCCE BALLS!

  • Nearly every moment with Kornbluth, especially when he accidentally hoses the same couple twice.